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Piper looked over at the CO assigned to monitor phone calls for that hour. He turned for a brief moment and Piper was able to hang up and dial again. It wasn't like Alex not to answer when she called. Even if she was in the bathroom she would answer and just tell Piper to give her a moment. Thankfully the guard turned so Piper could call her again or else she would have had to hang up and go to the end of the phone line. This time the phone was answered on the forth or fifth ring.

"Hello?"

Piper paused for a moment. She didn't recognize the voice. "I'm sorry I'm looking for Alex but I think I dialed the wrong number."

"No you didn't, this is Alex's phone."

"Well then can I talk to her?" Piper hated the feeling of betrayal and jealousy that were quickly rising within her. For all she knew Alex was in the bathroom and had a friend over who answered her phone or she had left her phone somewhere. Alex would never cheat on her...

"Uh no, not right now. We're just getting into the shower. I'll tell her you called."

"Wait you don't even know who this is-" Piper protested, but the line went dead. She slowly hung up the phone. Thankfully Nicky was waiting for her and was able to pull Piper away before she got a shot for holding up the next person in line.

"What the hell happened?" Nicky asked.

Piper blinked a few times before she actually saw Nicky standing in front of her. "She's cheating on me."

"Whoa, slow down Chapman. What happened?"

"Some girl answered her phone and she said they were getting into the shower."

Nicky's heart broke for her friend. She knew how much the brunette meant to her. "Man I'm sorry." Normally she would have gone on and said how Piper really should have expected this from Alex and how Piper was better off without the backstabbing liar/life ruiner, but she had enough sense to know that wasn't what Piper needed to hear. Instead she walked her back to her cube and sat with her while Piper cried, staring down anyone who looked at her. Almost daring them to say something. Thankfully no one did.

Alex handed her ID to the guard on duty. "I'm here to see Piper Chapman." She explained.

The guard handed Alex her ID back with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry Ms. Vause you're not on her list."

"I'm sorry, I'm what?"

"I'm sorry." The guard explained. She was a nice woman. She had always looked the other way when women were cuddling on their bunks or holding hands.

"What? That's ridiculous. I was just here last week. I just saw her last week." Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had no idea what was going on. First Piper hadn't called her in over five days and now she was off her visitation list? Nicky. Nicky would know what was going on. And Alex was on her list. "Can I see Nicky then?"

The guard smiled and reached out for Alex's ID. "Sure."

Alex tapped her fingers on the table waiting for Nicky to get there. The wild haired woman had barely stepped into the room when Alex was up. "What the hell is going on?"

Nicky rolled her eyes and sat down. "Hey Vause, great to see you too. You lose weight?"

"Why won't Piper see me?"

"You know I have to be strip searched after this." Nicky said.

Alex took a calming breath. "Nicky, please."

Nicky sighed and shook her head. "You fucked up Vause."

"Yeah, what else is new?"

"I'm the last person to tell someone who they can't sleep with, but Piper loves you. If you didn't want to be with her you should have just told her that. Don't you think you've fucked her over enough for one lifetime-"

"Nicky what the fuck are you talking about?" Alex asked, clearly frustrated.

"Your new sex toy answered your phone when Piper called a couple days ago."

Alex took a moment and shook her head. "Sex toy?"

"Yeah, whoever you happened to be sleeping with that day. Look, Piper called and she answered and said you two were getting into the shower together. It's not my business and I really don't care. Fuck who you want, but Piper-"

"What day did she call?"

"Tuesday.

Alex took a deep breath and carefully laid her hands down on the table to prevent herself from doing something stupid. She hadn't heard anything from Piper since Monday night. "Nicky I was at the club from eight am on Tuesday until four am the next morning interviewing literally hundreds of people and then we were open that night. I wasn't showering with anyone. I'm not sleeping with anyone."

Nicky looked deep into Alex's eyes. She couldnt tell if Alex was telling the truth or not. The older woman had spent nearly two decades building a business that required much secrecy and lying. It wasn't surprising Nicky couldn't tell. "I had to pull her away from the phone. You didn't see the look on her face... I very much doubt Piper would have made that up."

"No, but someone else did." Alex said with a frustrated breath. "I'm going to kill her."

"Probably best not to talk about killing people right now." Nicky offered with a shrug.

Alex's eyes quickly darted around the room. "It's this new bartender I hired. She's been hitting on me since I hired her, but I just ignored her because she's really good at her job. I told her I had a girlfriend. Jesus! . . Why would Piper even believe her? She knows I would never do that to her."

"Prison makes you paranoid, you know that. It teaches you not to trust anyone. Her whole life is just about making it to the next phone call or visit from you. Then to have some bitch answer your phone and say what she said...what was she supposed to think?"

"Fuck." Alex let out a slow breath and let her head fall to her hands on the table. "Can you tell her I didn't do anything and that bitch is fired the second I get back?"

Nicky shrugged. "I'll tell her, but I don't think she's going to believe me right now."

"How is she?"

"She's a fucking mess, how do you think she is?" Nicky explained. "Remember how you were when she chose Larry over you?" Alex nodded. "She's like that only she won't let me fuck her into feeling better and she cries all the time. Or cried all the time. Now she's just pissed."

"Fuck." Alex sighed. "I didn't tell Piper about this girl because I didn't want her to worry about this girl hitting on me."

"Yeah, because this is so much better."

"You're not helping."

"Look, Chapman is my friend-"

"I'm your friend."

"Yes" Nicky acknowledged. "But you're out there and were in here." There would always be a different connection between women on the inside. They looked out for one another. Yes she and Alex were also friends. Had been friends before Nicky became friends with Piper. But Piper was who she was inside with and Piper was who she was going to look out for. "Look I'll tell her but I don't know how much good it will do. Her biggest fear was that you would find someone else and then this bitch tells her you had..." She trailed off. "She's not doing good."

"Nicky, please. She will listen to you."

"I'll do what I can, but you know her. She's stubborn. She's got that Chapman temper."

Alex sat back in the chair and shook her head. "I go on maybe four hours of sleep most nights, Nicky. I'm so busy getting this club up and running and with my classes. Do you know the amount of homework I have every night? At least three hours. At least. That's three hours on top of the twelve to fourteen I spend at the club. And that's just with online classes. Eventually I'm going to need to go to actual classes too. I'm trying to make something of myself so I can be who Piper needs me to be. I'm not putting in all this work to go and fuck someone else."

Alex knew she needed to make something for herself for herself as much as she needed to make something of herself for Piper. Piper wasn't the only reason she was doing everything - the club, college, all of it. She was a major reason, but not the only reason. Alex needed to remember who she used to be. She needed a reason to believe in herself, a reason to stand tall. Alex needed to know she was worth more than the money she made in heroin. She needed to prove to herself that her life was not a waste. That she had a point and a purpose in life.

Nicky slowly nodded. "Okay." She said. "I'll tell her."

This time Alex actually believed her. "I love her Nicky. I promise I'm not trying to hurt her."

Nicky nodded. "I'll get her to put you back on her visitation list and try to get her to call you. But short of physically dragging her to the phones, there's only so much I can do."

Alex sighed and shook her head. "It's always going to be like this with us, isn't it?"

"Like what?"

"Another ride on the Piper Chapman fucking merry-go-round. We're together, we're not, things are great, then they're not. I don't know how much of this I can take. Things aren't going to work if she cuts me off when something happens-when she thinks something happens. I'm trying so hard here Nicky, but I'm constantly worried that something will happen and she'll leave me again. It's like Paris all over again."

"Paris?" Nicky questioned. At the look Alex gave her she knew it wasn't to be discussed. "Look Vause, Chapman has issues. You know that. It's why you decided you were done with her on Christmas. But then you saw her and changed your tune. Look, how many times has she left you at this point?"

"Things are...complicated, Nicky. She left me in Paris because I asked her to do something she told me she would never do again. Then she left me at Christmas-"

"Because she chose someone else over you. Do you really think that won't happen again?"

"She was with him before she got here. Of course she left me for him. What did I have to offer her in here? Third time's a charm, right?"

Nicky shook her head. "You two need to get your shit together. Either be together or don't, but this back and forth isn't good for either of you."

Alex sighed. "I need to talk to her. I need to figure out if she's as serious about this relationship as I am. I can't keep doing this back and forth anymore. I'm getting to old for that shit." She looked up at Nicky. "What's the real issue here Nicky?"

Nicky looked around the room. It wasn't her place to say anything, but Alex should know and she didn't know if Piper would tell her. "She got extra time on her sentence for lying in Chicago. Another seven months."

"Shit." Alex slumped back in her chair. "That's why she's doing this."

"Hmm?"

"Pushing me away." Alex explained. "Because she has fifteen months left."

Nicky raised an eyebrow. "You were planning on doing the same thing to her. You said back when you were still in here that you were going to cut off contact with Piper when she got out because you still had time left."

Alex sighed. "We both know I wouldn't have been able to do it."

Nicky shook her head. "You two confuse me."

They chatted for a bit longer, Nicky catching Alex up on Red and the latest prison gossip and goings on. Alex left well before the hour was up as Nicky said she had, "better things to do" but promised to talk to Piper. On the way home Alex decided it was finally time to stop by her storage unit. She would find some books she and Piper used to read together and some photographs of happier times between them and send them to Piper as soon as she could. One day things would stop being so difficult for them. Alex just hoped that day would come sooner rather than later.

"No." Piper shook her head. "I don't want to."

Nicky let out another frustrated breath. "Look Chapman," She began, sitting on Red's bunk across from Piper. "What are you really mad about? She didn't actually fuck that girl. She's just some stupid twenty-something bimbo with a crush that wasn't reciprocated. I'm sure from now on Vause isn't going to let her phone leave her sight. Nothing happened."

"You don't know that."

"Piper" Nicky began. She waited until Piper looked up to continue. "She loves you. I know what happened sucked. I get that. I get that it brought up all these insecurities you have about your relationship. I know being in a relationship with someone on the outside is difficult. Hell, any relationship is difficult. But everything Alex is doing with her club and school is for you. So she can be someone and make something of herself. So she can make a life for you. I don't think the issue is that you don't trust her. I think you trust her too much and it scares the shit out of you. So you make this huge issue out of what some dumb bitch said because what, she had a conversation with Alex and you're jealous?"

Piper shrugged and looked down.

"Even if you were out with her, other people are allowed to talk to her. You gotta keep this jealousy in check or you're going to push her away. You can't keep playing this back and forth game you play. It's not fair to her. She is doing everything she can to become someone you can be proud of. But if you keep this shit up, she's going to be someone someone else can be proud of."

Piper watched as Nicky got up and walked out of the dorm. She leaned back against the wall and sighed. She knew she was being childish. If Alex said she hadn't slept with the girl and Nicky believed her, chances were she was telling the truth. Prison just had this way of making everything feel like high school. All the drama and petty crap around her twenty-four seven made her cling to Alex. And then after the phone call and feeling like she had lost the one thing she needed to live...Piper didn't know how to describe it really. Other than the fish bowl of prison making everything worse.