Four
My anger builds over the course of the day as the fights drag on through the morning and after lunch. By the time we get to Tris and Lauren's, I'm practically seething. I know why Lauren did it and I'm grateful that she did. It doesn't mean that I have to like that it's happening, though. As they both step in to the ring to begin, I wish I could rewind back to last night or even just to this morning, before it all took this turn.
-flashback to 7am that morning—
After leaving Uriah's room, I walk towards the cafeteria. I know Tris needs to talk to him about the fight so I'm going to distract myself with breakfast and plans for the last day of fighting. Lauren and I have already drafted the pairings so unfortunately there isn't much of anything to think about.
"Where did you go last night? I never heard back from you on whether or not you found Tris." Zeke asks it innocently.
"Sorry, I looked for her and then had to deal with some things with the initiates. I did find her asleep in the chair next to Uriah's bed in the infirmary this morning. She slept there last night so that must have been where she went at some point. She and Uriah should be coming in to breakfast soon." Lauren casts me an odd look across that table that I can't decipher.
"Of course she slept there." Zeke snorts with laughter to himself. "Those two are ridiculous. I know people think Tris will never really have a boyfriend because I'm protective but really it will because that guy would have to understand that she'll have to spend part of every day with her twin brother, Uriah, or else they'll both wither away."
"You know, ever since they started sharing a room when they were two, they've insisted on spending at least a half hour together every day without anyone else. They would just lie on the floor of their room and talk but no one could come in but them. When they could barely talk, they'd just baby babble at each other. My Mom and I dubbed it their 'Twin Time'. It's completely sacred to them. Even after I moved out and Tris took my old room, my Mom told me Tris would still go to Uriah's room every day for it."
"They still do that in the dorm but now they cram on to one bed instead of lying on the floor. They can't make the other initiates leave but they ignore everyone that isn't each other. Peter made a joke about it once and Tris broke his nose for it while Uriah laughed. Ever since then, none of the initiates comment about it." Lauren adds in and I realize that she's paid more attention to the dynamics of the initiate group than I have in some ways.
"See? No guy is going to be like, 'I totally understand that you can't go one day without Twin Time. And that if I say something about it you'll probably break my nose.'"
"You're just mad you're not invited, Zeke." I know it might be mean to tease him about it but it's so obvious that he feels a twinge of sibling rivalry with Uriah. Zeke dotes on Tris and I think he's a bit hurt that he doesn't have something so exclusively theirs as Uriah and Tris do and he feels left out.
"Maybe, but that doesn't change that it's weird. I deal with it and even find it endearing because I'm their brother. I don't know how or why Marlene has dealt with it all these years."
"Because she's clearly hopelessly in love with Uriah and has been since she was ten years old." Shauna contributes the observation that every Dauntless born and most transfers who know the Pedrads have known forever.
"True."
"Well, maybe Tris will find someone who feels about her the way Marlene does about Uriah. Who knows; maybe she already has." Lauren stares at me as she says it. It almost seems accusatory, like she's pinning those feelings on me and I immediately focus on my food and hope my face isn't too flushed.
"Whatever. I don't even want to think about that. I'll have to like and hate the guy." Zeke is done with the topic now by his tone. I find myself releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"On a different note, you're acting odd lately, Four." Shauna arches an eyebrow at me, waiting for my response.
"Am I? It's probably just initiation. All of the changes complicate things. It's frustrating."
"No, you don't seem frustrated. You seem happier, actually. Distracted, too." Suddenly her face lights up like she just answered an important question. "Oh my god, you like someone, don't you?"
"What? No." I can hear my voice getting higher than it should and I know I'm caught.
Zeke latches on to it immediately. "Holy shit, she's right. You do like someone. I didn't think it was possible. Who is she?"
I immediately shut down and try to force myself to be Four the Instructor as much as possible. I know I can't lie well so I have to tread carefully. "I'm not telling you."
"Does she know yet?" Zeke is like a middle school Amity girl sometimes.
"No." God, please stop asking questions, Zeke.
"Are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know. Probably not."
"Why not?"
"It seems pretty clear to me she doesn't want that type of relationship with me. She pretty much told me she wants to be friends."
"That doesn't mean anything, Four. Ask her out or something. She'll change her mind."
"Yeah, because I'm so great at dating, Zeke."
"Yeah, you are terrible. But I don't know, why don't you try talking to her or something?"
"It's complicated and she seemed clear to me."
"I think she's lying to you." My eyes snap up to Laruen's when she says it. I wonder what she means. "I mean, if it's who I think it is, then I'm sure she's lying. I think she's just scared of you." My jaw must be hitting the floor.
"Scared of me?" The words eek their way out painfully. If Lauren is thinking what I think she is, then my life is over. Tris is scared of me?
"Well, maybe intimidated or nervous is a better word. She acts like she's worried you're not interested."
"See, Four? You just need to show her you are. Maybe if you told her she'd stop being so worried. Lauren, you know who it is?" Zeke is simultaneously interested and mad that Lauren would know something like this before him. He sounds friendly but I can hear the subtle anger.
"I'm not positive but I'm 99% sure I know."
"Who is it?"
"I can't say. I don't want Four here to hate me. We do still have to get through initiation. I need him for that."
Before the conversation moves back to me, I notice Eric standing at Tris and Uriah's table, talking to them. I get a feeling that this can't be anything good. I stride over as quickly as I can and stand behind Eric and listen to the conversation until I know I have to interrupt.
After our exchange is over, I know Eric won't be coming back to talk to them so I give the 15 minute warning and walk to the training room. I can hear Laruen on my heels and just as I reach the door, she catches my arm.
"Four, I won't tell anyone. Don't worry."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb. I know you were talking about Tris earlier. I saw you two at the chasm last night. But don't worry—I didn't hear anything you said. I just saw the way you were comforting her."
"Well, it doesn't matter anyway because she told me she wants to be friends."
"You two did not look like either of you wanted to be just friends when I saw you. If she told you that it's probably because she's nervous about how you see her."
"What do you mean?"
"You're her instructor and not the most approachable person in the world. She knows you can't date an initiate or even be a friend until after she's a member. Plus you've practically been her instructor since she was fourteen so it's even more of a challenge to her. But you're also Zeke's best friend. She probably thinks you see her as a little sister and it bothers her. I've known Tris a long time and I know the way she acts around you is different than she does around anyone else. Every time it's like she's seeing you for the first time and she lights up at the sight of you."
"Well, being Zeke's best friend is really the other problem. Even if I can normally win in a fight against him, I'm sure I wouldn't survive the angry, protective brother beating he'd give me." Lauren openly rolls her eyes at that.
"We all know he's a lot of talk. If Tris actually liked someone, Zeke wouldn't dare challenge it. She has him wrapped around her little finger and we both know it. Besides, he knows she can hold her own and she has since she was a scrawny kid. She's a better fighter than Zeke and Uriah as well as pretty much everyone in the compound. You helped see to that. Zeke's just protective against any unwanted interest or attention."
"The front is to scare unwanted guys off."
"Exactly. It always has been."
"Lauren?"
"Yes, Four?"
"Thanks for not saying anything."
"You're welcome. I'm just happy that you wouldn't mind Twin Time. Tris deserves someone who will love her that way. It will be good for both of you to be in each other's lives. Now let's get ready for the last set of fights."
When we walk into the training room, Max and Eric are already there, deep in discussion. I steel myself for the argument that awaits us.
-Back to Present-
With Eric calling the fight, all I can hope for is that Tris has the sense to go down quickly. I know Tris is an excellent fighter and I would generally think she'd win but she's also fought three fights in the past three days and Lauren has fought none. Also, Lauren does have the advantage of having seen Tris fight multiple times and has evaluated Tris's strengths and weaknesses while Tris has never seen Lauren fight. I know Lauren will want to knock Tris out as soon as she can for most of the same reasons I'm hoping that she will.
The only problem is that Tris won't go down easily. She's stubborn and will fight tooth and nail to show Eric that he won't get to best her. As long as she doesn't have to fight him, it will be OK, though. That's the solace I provide myself as they begin.
Tris opens the fight with a shot to Lauren's windpipe that sends her staggering backwards and coughing. Tris doesn't waste a moment and instead follows up with a punch to her stomach and an elbow to her back while Lauren is doubled over. Tris has taken my advice to strike first and I feel a sense of pride that it's working, even if it is against someone I consider a friend. The elbow is enough to cause Lauren to hit the floor. Tris goes to finish off the fight but as she gets close, Lauren lands a kick to Tris's stomach and Tris stops in her tracks. It gives Lauren enough time to jump back to her feet and go on the offensive.
After several more punches, Lauren sweeps Tris's feet out from under her and then straddles Tris to deliver the final blows. After a punch to the jaw and into her cheek, Tris manages one forceful and well-aimed punch to Lauren just below her right temple. It knocks Lauren unconscious and she slumps over on to the floor next to Tris.
As soon as Eric calls Tris the winner, Max tells Uriah and Will to take Lauren to the infirmary. Tris, despite being offered Max's hand, gets back on her feet herself. She's about to leave the ring when Eric steps in her path.
"Impressive that you could beat your own instructor. I wonder how you'd do with someone more skilled." I want to say something but I know Max will be evaluating everything I do and say right now. If I have any prayer of protecting Uriah and Tris's secret in Stage 2, I have to let Tris deal with Eric's verbal abuse at least for a little bit.
"I already won my fight today. Maybe another time." She huffs it out, clearly tired from the exertion of fighting Lauren. Tris makes a move to step around him but he grabs her arm.
"I think right now works better and I make the rules."
"What?"
"Come on, Tris, fight me." Tris looks up to stare him in the eye and I can see blood beginning to trickle down her neck from the cuts she has on her face. There's a defiant glint in her eye. She's angry now.
"No. I won't fight you." My blood runs cold as I see the murderous rage grow in Eric's eyes. I have to figure out how to stop this if Max won't.
"What did you say, initiate?" Eric asks through clenched teeth.
"I . Said. No. Eric." Tris is leaning toward Eric as she speaks so she doesn't see the punch that he swings until it's too late and it lands on her stomach.
"Enough!" I yell but that won't stop Eric.
As she doubles over, he grabs her by her shirt and punches her in the nose. As blood sprays out of it, he goes to punch her again but she blocks it, grabbing his shirt to pull him toward her so she can knee him in the groin. He doubles over instantly.
"Enough!" I yell but Tris connects a punch to the bottom of his jaw and kicks his left shin so he falls to the floor, tearing one side of her shirt that he was still holding as he falls.
Tris falls to her knees and straddles him, looking like she's going to deliver the final blow but instead she stops and looks at him.
"Eric, do you concede?" She asks it so quietly that for a moment I think I just imagined it.
Eric only laughs and swings his arm out, connecting his fist with the side of her face. She immediately returns the punch and he blacks out. Tris begins to stand up and I hurry to her side, seeing the way she wobbles. She passes out just as I reach her and I catch her body as it slumps back against me. I look over and see that Eric has regained consciousness and is struggling to sit up.
"That's enough. The fight is over." I gather Tris into my arms gingerly, careful to avoid upsetting any potential broken ribs or other injuries. Blood is running down the side of her face on to my shoulder but I ignore it.
"This isn't your call, Four."
"It is when you're acting brutal just because her brother insulted you." Eric flinches a bit at the comment but continues to stare back at me. "Or is it more than that? What in the world has you so mad at her? Did she turn you down or something?" The second flinch actually makes me wonder if I hit closer to home than I intended.
"Shut up, Four. This still isn't your call." Eric has gotten to his feet and comes over so he's standing in front of me, barely an inch from Tris—the only barrier between him and I. I can feel him tensing for a fight but he's also a bit unstable. He's trying to hide how hurt he is from his fight with her.
"You were unconscious and couldn't continue. She won. Dauntless rules say the fight is over."
"Four is right, Eric. The fight is over. Tris won. Dauntless rules." Max finally calls out almost bored from the sidelines.
Eric tries his best to stalk out of the room as Christina and Al rush over and take Tris from me so they can deliver her to the infirmary. Before they take her, Al has the decency to remove his shirt and drape it over Tris to cover her up since the tear in her shirt runs from the left side of her neck down to her side, exposing most of the left side of her torso.
Once they've walked away I step up in front of Max, teeth clenched, feeling reckless, angry and brave. "Is this the great new Dauntless you wanted? One where we force our best initiates to fight their instructors and when they win, the reward is to fight a leader instead? Now that she's won against Eric what happens? Does she fight you? Is this the faction we are now? One where we base decisions on cruelty and brutality instead of bravery? One where a psychopath is molding the future?"
"No." Max looks angry and defeated at once. He refocuses on me and rage fills his eyes. "But you're just as much to blame as I am. You could have taken the job."
"No, Max. You're to blame. I could have taken the job but you could have given it to someone other than him when I turned it down. Don't blame me for your bad decisions."
Max and I stand, glaring at each other until one of the initiates coughs.
Shit. I forgot to release them for dinner.
"Training is over for today. Go to dinner. Rankings will be posted tomorrow." I turn toward them as I announce it and then storm out of the room as quickly as possible. I don't slow down until I find my way to where Tris is in the infirmary.
As soon as I walk in her room, I realize that there's a large audience. Christina and Al are there still and now Uriah, Will and Zeke have joined them. Will is standing with his arm around Christina while Zeke and Uriah lean against a side wall, alternating between staring at me and staring at Tris, who is still unconscious. Al is pacing back and forth, rubbing his hand over his face with worry. It makes me want to punch him.
Christina glances nervously between Zeke, Uriah and I before she announces to Will and Al that they should get some dinner. Uriah hesitates when she invites him to come along but Zeke urges him on, telling Uriah that he'll stay with Tris. I offer that if she wakes up, I'll come get him immediately. It's enough to convince him to go.
I slump back against the door as soon as it closes behind them.
"Zeke, I'm so sorry. I failed. I promised you I'd protect her and I failed. I feel terrible." Zeke only nods.
He clears his throat and I prepare myself to hear the shaky breaths of an emotional brother but instead Zeke's voice comes out deathly quiet, thick with barely contained rage. Rage that is probably aimed at me.
"How did she end up fighting Eric, Four?"
"Eric got into it with her and Uriah at breakfast about her beating Uriah yesterday. Uriah made a crack at Eric that he thought Tris was tougher than anyone in Dauntless except me."
Zeke snorts at that. "That's not a crack. That's a fact that essentially all of Dauntless knows—even Max. I think you and Tris are the only ones who don't. So how did this conversation turn into Eric fighting her?"
"Eric suggested to Uriah that they test Uriah's theory. I reminded Eric that it's against Dauntless rules. When Lauren and I got to the training room, Eric was already there with Max. Originally they wanted me to fight Tris but I refused. When Eric said he'd fight her instead, I was going to insist I fight her because at least I would make sure she wasn't seriously hurt coming out of it but Lauren interceded and actually gave a compelling argument why it should be her. Max agreed.
"I thought maybe Lauren would beat Tris but that it would be drawn out because Tris is so reluctant to give up or that Tris would win and it'd be done. But my god, Zeke, Tris was amazing; better than I remember her being, even. She beat Lauren so quickly with minor injuries."
"I'm not surprised. Lauren may have learned from Amar like we did and she may have taught initiates but Tris has always been good, even when she was little. It just comes naturally to her—all of it. Two years of learning from you and even fighting Amar, though, has made her basically unstoppable. It's not surprising she's another Dauntless prodigy, Four. Tris has always been quick to learn and she instinctively knows what to do, plus she's much more irritatingly stubborn than Uriah."
"Yeah, I've noticed sometime over the last two years."
"So it should have been over when Tris won."
"Yeah. I thought it was but then Eric stopped her and challenged her before she left the ring. Max didn't do anything and I figured Eric was just trying to scare her so I let her handle it. I knew that if I jumped in, it could compromise my ability to protect her and Uriah later on. So Tris told Eric no. The second time she said it, he just started hitting her without warning. Before I could even react, she was fighting back. I couldn't separate them until after she knocked Eric unconscious. He woke back up as she blacked out but Max finally called the fight. Tris won.
"God, Zeke, if I had known this was going to happen, I would have just fought her. I would have felt terrible doing it but it would have been better than this."
"You couldn't have known. If I had been there I would have probably made the same choice. Lauren was the best option. Honestly, if she hadn't just fought Lauren, I know she would have beat Eric handily."
I nod, remembering the conversation from the first time I met Tris. "Honestly, I agree with you. She was brilliant in the fight as is but I don't trust Eric. I was just worried he wouldn't stop once he started hurting her. With Eric all of this seems really personal."
"What does?"
"His hatred toward her. Wanting to fight her."
"What makes you say that?"
"When I separated them I was throwing things out to get under his skin, hoping it would make him back off. I asked if she had turned him down or something. The way he flinched made me wonder if I had accidentally stumbled upon the truth."
Zeke sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. " I don't know for sure but I've always suspected. I beat him up when we were twelve. He said some terrible stuff to her—I don't know what it was but I would bet that it was about her parents. Apparently he'd been doing it for a while. She tried to ignore it but then she finally cracked and just shut down, sobbing. I beat the shit out of him when I found her crying with him standing over her. He won the fight in the end but I think I hurt him more than I've ever hurt someone in my life. Other than that incident I never interfered again. I knew he still gave her trouble but she always handled it. I would hear rumors about things he'd do or say but I never witnessed any of it. She banged him up pretty badly several times. The last time I knew of was a few days before our Choosing Ceremony. I was and wasn't surprised when he joined Dauntless. I thought he'd want to hide in Erudite after taking so many beatings at the hands of a girl younger and smaller than him but he also seemed unnaturally interested in Tris so I wondered if he was here for her."
I can't contain the shock I'm feeling from the conversation's revelations. "You think he has feelings for her?"
"Probably more than that. I think he's borderline obsessed with her—whether out of whatever sick, twisted love he feels for her or something else, I don't know."
"Have you ever told Tris any of this or asked her about it?"
"No. I know she doesn't want to talk about it. As much as I play the part of the smothering big brother, I know she can handle her own. But if she were to tell me something was wrong and that she needed help, the person who caused it would be dead."
"Yeah, I know, Zeke."
"I want to hurt Eric." He growls quietly.
"Me too."
"But that's Tris's call. She either has to do it or tell me to do it."
"Just because Tris doesn't want you to fight Eric doesn't mean we can't hurt him in a different way."
"What do you mean?"
"We take away his power. If he doesn't have that, his ability to hurt Tris or anyone else goes down dramatically."
"You know what it will take to do that though, right, Four?"
"Yes, I do. It's a good thing both of us work in the Control Room."
Zeke sighs and plops down in the seat next to her bed. He rests his elbows on his thighs and rubs his hands over his face. "I hate this. I feel like I'm supposed to protect her but I'm also not allowed to. I know she doesn't need it but I want to anyway."
"You wouldn't have been able to protect her from this, Zeke."
"Yeah, I know. That actually makes it worse. I can't even do what I'm supposed to do or what I want to do. Just because it's how things are doesn't mean I have to like it. Look, Four, I know you feel guilty about all of this but you shouldn't. You did everything you could."
"I feel like I broke my promise to you to protect her and Uriah."
"Are you kidding, Four? I just asked you to keep them from being found out. You've been going way above that."
"I'm their instructor. I have to do what's right for the initiates. It's my job." I offer it automatically even though I know Zeke won't buy that's why I'm doing it.
"Sure, but really you're being a good friend and a good substitute brother." It's fine if he believes those are the only reasons. That I can live with because it doesn't mean that I'm going to come to blows with him.
We slip into an easy conversation about lighter topics temporarily. After about ten minutes, Tris's pain killers wear off enough that she begins to stir, waking up. Zeke immediately is sitting at the edge of her bed to tell her what happened, her injuries and joke about how a scrawny girl like her could beat Eric so quickly even after winning a fight right before. I offer to go get Uriah and leave.