The Life and Times of Kurt Hummel
Season 4, Episode 14: BEHIND ENEMY LINES
14/22- Heeding advice from Blaine to 'keep his enemies closer', Kurt decides to spend time with Elliott to try and find ways of preventing him from stealing his job. Meanwhile, Blaine and Santana are shocked to learn about a potential romance.
As a bored Blaine read Star Wars FanFiction to an equally bored Sam, he smiled as he saw Kurt was calling him and answered his phone.
"Hey! What's up?" Blaine asked.
"Elliott is really sucking up to Isabelle now, and I'm calling you so you can talk me out of doing something I'll regret." Kurt replied.
"Which is?"
"Stabbing him with my fork and throwing him out the window." Kurt replied bluntly. Blaine chuckled.
"Wow. Yeah, calling me was a good move." Blaine said.
"What should I do? I CAN'T lose this job to him, Blaine, I just can't. I could really see myself making a career in this. How do I stop him?" Kurt said desperately.
"Find his weaknesses and exploit them." Blaine said.
"How?"
"You know what they say; keep your friends close..." Blaine began.
"...But your enemies closer! You're brilliant! See ya!" Kurt said and hung up. Blaine laughed and saw Sam was staring at him.
"What?"
"...Han Solo falls through a wormhole and ends up at a Star Wars convention? Read the rest of it NOW!" Sam exclaimed.
-THE LIFE AND TIMES OF KURT HUMMEL-
"Elliott!" Kurt said, approaching Elliott at his Vogue desk.
"What is it, Kurt? I'm busy getting this job over you." Elliott said.
"Look, we were friends before all of this, and I think that's the solution here. We just need to turn this into a friendly competition with no hard feelings. And to do that, I think we should spend the day together and try and be friends, for the sake of us and everyone around us." Kurt said. Elliott looked surprised.
"That's pretty sensible...I'm impressed. Let's go." Elliott said and gathered his stuff up. Kurt looked over to Isabelle's office, and saw she was smiling at them. Kurt smiled back, knowing he was spending the day with Elliott to discover his weaknesses in order to beat him and get the position at Vogue. In Kurt's eyes, it was the perfect plan.
...
Blaine and Sam were watching TV when Rachel and Santana returned home from NYADA.
"You boys better have gotten me my milkshakes." Santana said.
"We did, don't worry." Blaine replied and Santana smiled. Rachel put her coat on the table and saw the laptop on it. She smiled as she looked at it.
"Who's been reading Star Wars FanFiction?" Rachel laughed.
"Trouty Mouth, I expect." Santana said. The girls looked at a red-faced Sam.
"Why...why would I read that? Blaine was reading it." Sam said, glancing at Rachel very often, which Blaine and Santana picked up on.
"I was reading it to you." Blaine said to Sam, who threw a pillow at him.
"Aw, I think it's cute." Rachel said and smiled at Sam, who smiled back. Rachel blushed and quickly walked off into her room. Blaine and Santana watched her go while Sam looked down with a smile.
"Well, I think it's stupid. Andergay, can I talk to you?" Santana asked, gesturing Blaine to join her in the kitchen area. He got up and joined her.
"Okay, so we both noticed THAT, right?" Santana said.
"Sam and Rachel? Yeah. He's talked about her lots recently and he really didn't want her to know about the Star Wars crap until she thought it was cute." Blaine replied.
"And at NYADA I was telling Rachel about this guy in my class with huge muscles and she goes off on one about Sam working out. PLUS, when my friend Sam, or Samantha, came up to us I said 'Hey Sam' and Rachel turned around excitedly and then looked disappointed it wasn't THAT Sam." Santana whispered.
"So...do they like each other?" Blaine asked.
"...We should find out." Santana said.
...
Kurt and Elliott were sat on a bench in Central Park drinking coffee and chatting.
"...Wow, I didn't know it was your uncle in those TV adverts!" Kurt said happily.
"Yeah, he loves selling sofas to rich people via a talking kangaroo." Elliott replied with a smile.
"That's crazy. You know, I never realised that we have so many interests in common; fashion, singing, theatre, art, even Elizabeth Taylor!" Kurt said.
"I know; I feel like I know you better already. I had my doubts, but this was a good idea." Elliott admitted.
"Yeah...so, tell me more about YOU. I want to know the real Elliott, or Starchild, or whatever. Tell me the personal stuff, you know, the struggles you've faced and the mountains you've had to climb. That kinda thing. What stuff has really pushed you to your limit and made you feel like you can't...well, like you can't win?" Kurt asked. Elliott looked at him.
"...You really think I don't know what you're doing? You really take me for an idiot, don't you?" Elliott asked, standing up. Kurt gulped and looked away.
"...I don't know what you're talking about." Kurt said calmly.
"You're trying to decipher my weaknesses. I know your game, Kurt, and I was considering doing the same thing myself but I thought that was below even you, but I guess not. You know, whoever gets this job is the better man and that's fine, but if you're taking this fight this far then I'm really not backing off. I'm gonna propose a brand new range to the board that I come up with, and it's gonna be amazing. Just you wait, I'll have the job before they even have to make a decision." Elliott said. Kurt stood up.
"Well then, you know what? Maybe I'll come up with my own line too. We can end this on our own terms. Maybe I'll design an outfit made out of tissues so you can cry into it when I get the job!" Kurt shouted and stormed off.
"You'll be the one needing tissues!" Elliott shouted after him.
...
Sam was on the laptop on the sofa when Blaine and Santana sat either side of him.
"Is this an intervention?" Sam asked.
"Yes, though I'm surprised you even knew what that word meant. Congrats." Santana said.
"What is this about?" Sam said.
"We need to talk about Rachel." Blaine said.
"No, it's 'We Need To Talk About Kevin'." Sam replied.
"No, RACHEL. What's going on between you two?" Santana asked. Sam went red and looked down.
"Nothing."
"It's okay to like her, you know. And we just want what's best for both of you." Blaine said.
"I know." Sam said.
Silence for a moment.
"Okay, I like her. I love that she's beautiful but she doesn't realise it. She's pretty and smart and funny and wise and no matter what interests you she'll listen to you go on about it for hours. We watched all the X-Men movies back to back a while ago and she asked me all about it afterwards. She was invested in me, and I love that about her. She came with me to my modelling agency interview and was the first to hug me when I got a place on the agency, and I love that too. She's an incredible girl...but nothing's gonna happen." Sam admitted shyly.
"Why not?" Blaine asked.
"...Finn." Sam said.
"...Finn's gone. He'd want her to be happy." Santana choked. Blaine took her hand in support.
"I know, but I feel like I'd be betraying him if I went out with her. Everyone saw her as Finn's girl for so long, and I did too, but now I don't and that scares me because if she can change my view of her that means I really like her. Like, a lot. But she needs time to heal and I know Finn would want her to be happy and I could make her happy but I feel like it's still way too soon. She's probably not even into me anyway, and that's fine. As long as she's happy when her story ends, I don't care who she's with, even if it's not me." Sam poured out his heart. Blaine and Santana were touched by his words.
"Wow. I didn't realise your feelings were that strong." Blaine said.
"...Neither did I." Sam said, deep in thought.
"Give her time, Trouty Mouth. You never know." Santana said and hugged Sam as Blaine patted him on the back.
...
Santana walked into Rachel's room, where she was sat reading on her bed.
"Rachel, I need to tentatively discuss something with you." Santana said.
"Sam?"
"...How did you know?"
"I came out to get a drink earlier and I heard you talking. I heard what he said." Rachel said. Santana sat next to her on the bed.
"...And?" Santana asked. Rachel took a deep breath.
"...He's right. It is too soon. I loved Finn with all my heart and part of me always will, and I'm not ready to start looking for someone to fill that whole just yet." Rachel said.
"But you two just seem to have...something there." Santana said.
"I'm not saying that I don't like him. I definitely fancy him, yes, and he was so sweet to me on Valentine's Day and we've been sharing these moments. I've often thought that something might happen between us but it hasn't yet, and I think that's a good thing for now. Right now I just need to adapt to life without Finn and I'll always remember him but he would want me to move on and be happy. Plus, Sam's a great guy and I understand how he feels about Finn, but he wouldn't be betraying him; Finn loved Sam and he'd be happy if I ended up with him. Plus he'd be under all this pressure of being the first guy I've been with since Finn and I don't want to do that to him. I'm just not ready yet, so Sam can feel free to date as he wants."
"...But if you are ready...?"
"...When I'm ready and if by a stroke of luck Sam is still single, then...yeah, I think I'd like that." Rachel smiled.
"You and Trouty Mouth?" Santana asked. Rachel nodded.
"He's amazing, and what he said back there made me cry." Rachel said.
"I know this isn't easy for you to talk about, so thank you." Santana said and hugged Rachel.
"Let's sing." Rachel said and Santana smiled as she put on a CD. Rachel started singing with Santana backing her up.
"Fresh cut grass, one cold beer
(Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now)."
Santana sang with Rachel backing her up. "Summer dress, favourite park
(Bless your soul we are here and now, here and now)."
The two girls sang together. "I'm wide awake Can't complain about much these days We're screaming out (We're screaming out)
So what's the point of dreaming when your life is great
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Oh!
I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days
I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.
I believe we'll be okay."
Santana sang with Rachel backing her again. "Sun kissed skin on my lips
(Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now)."
Rachel took lead as Santana backed up. "Fireflies after dark
(Bless your soul we are here and now, here and now)."
The girls sang together again. "I'm wide awake Can't complain about much these days We're screaming out (We're screaming out) (Oooh-ooh) We'll be okay
So what's the point of dreaming (So what's the point of dreaming)
When your life is great
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Oh!
I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days
I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
I believe we'll be okay
(Oooh-ooh) We'll be okay."
Santana sang, smiling at Rachel. "Can't complain about much these days..."
Rachel sang as she took Santana's hand. "I believe we'll be okay."
The two girls sang again. Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
(Yeaah!) Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh We're screaming out (We're screaming out) I believe we'll be okay
Can't complain about much these days
I believe we'll be okay
Can't complain about much these days
I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We'll be okay."
The song ended and the two girls hugged and laughed.
...
Santana walked out of Rachel's room and took a seat next to Sam and Blaine.
"You were in there for a while." Blaine said.
"And you once again burst into song." Sam added.
"Yep." Santana said and whispered in Sam's ear.
"I'll just say that good things come to those who wait."
Sam looked at Santana and grinned.
...
That night, Kurt was sat in his room and put a CD in he played pretty often and sang along.
"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days
She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones
Seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone."
Kurt was interrupted when Blaine carried on the song and sang as he entered Kurt's room and sat on his bed. "And I'll be gone, gone tonight
The ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I been holding on too tight
With nothing in between."
The two boys sang together. "The story of my life, I take her home
I drive all night to keep her warm
And time is frozen (The story of, the story of)
The story of my life, I give her hope
I spend her love until she's broke inside
The story of my life (The story of, the story of)."
Blaine sang. "Written on these walls are the colours that I can't change
Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage."
The two sang together again. "I know that in the morning now I see us in the light upon a hill (And I'll be gone, gone tonight) The story of my life, I take her home
Although I am broken, my heart is untamed, still
The (fire beneath my feet is burning bright)
The way that I been (holding on so tight)
(With nothing in between)
I drive all night to keep her warm
And time is frozen (The story of, the story of)
The story of my life, I give her hope
I spend her love until she's broke inside
The story of my life (The story of, the story of)."
Kurt sang a line. "And I been waiting for this time to come around."
Blaine sang. "But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds The story of my life, I take her home
I drive all night to keep her warm
And time is frozen."
Kurt sang with Blaine backing him up.
"The story of my life, I give her hope ([Blaine:] Give her hope)
I spend her love..."
The boys sang together. "Until she's broke inside The story of my life
The story of my life (The story of, the story of)
The story of my life (The story of my life, the story of, the story of)
The story of my life."
The song ended and Blaine smiled at Kurt supportively.
"Didn't go well with Elliott then?" Blaine asked.
"How did you know?" Kurt asked in reply.
"I know full well that you only listen to that song when you're sad." Blaine smiled. Kurt smiled back.
"You know me too well." Kurt said.
"I know." Blaine laughed.
"He's gonna bring it next week with some crazy idea of a new range, and I said I'm gonna come up with one too. In reality, I have no clue where to start." Kurt said glumly.
"Well, we'll start by looking online to see what's out there and go forward from that. We could adapt your 'between the lines' concept you came up with if you want." Blaine said. Kurt raised his eyebrow at him.
"You want to help me with fashion stuff?" He asked.
"Kurt, please. Look at this bow tie. I should be on every magazine cover everywhere. Every day." Blaine said and Kurt laughed. Blaine joined in and the boys looked at each other for a while after they stopped.
"...You don't have to help." Kurt said.
"Yes I do. This is important to you and you're important to me. I'm not letting you give this job to Starchild without a fight." Blaine said sternly. Kurt took his hand.
"Thanks." Kurt said. Blaine smiled and started searching for clothing on Kurt's nearby laptop.
"That bow tie is horrible, by the way."
Blaine hit Kurt with a pillow when he didn't stop laughing.
...
NEXT TIME...
"Hashtags? Really? You should be exiled."
Kurt and Elliott's eyes locked from across the table.
"I believe in a thing called love..."
The decision had finally been made. This was it.