I Will Carry You is like the cheesiest song ever, but it worked. No More Words.

I don't know what's going on with me, it's like every time I bring up Inukimi in this story the content around her just dies pitifully. That's where I am in Chapter 18, Sesshou has to deal with his mother, but what am I actually working on in this meantime? The next event arc. It's like, wtf, Sesshoumaru's mother isn't that difficult a character to write!

*punches Inukimi on the snout to establish dominance, then updates chapter 14*

To Make Things Right

A True Mate

'I'm being carried.'

The last time- first time? that Sesshoumaru had carried her, Kagura had just endured the marking ritual. She'd been angry at him for springing the experience on her, shaken by the memory of the pain, and exhausted by the storm of emotions and power. She had lashed out at him for it and in exchange he had been tender with her, almost loving, a surprise. Kagura could still remember the sight of the blue ocean and perfect sky surrounding them. Sometimes she thought back about how he'd nuzzled her face and held her, what that had felt like.

She thought about it now because she was being carried again, the dawn light creeping over the mountains to the east. The pale rays of summer warmth were something that Kagura felt herself flinch away from when they touched her bare feet, or flashed across her eyes. Her first reaction was to bury herself into his fur, the healthy tan mane that her face was already resting against, one hand pressed into the silky fleece, but she couldn't manage it. Kagura just watched the red tassells on his cuirass sway with his steps, or looked past him all together and counted the trees as he walked through the forest.

He hadn't said anything, not before, during, or after the fight with Ryokijin, and Kagura didn't know what he was thinking. She'd never seen him do something like that; take pleasure in a kill before, intentionally draw out the suffering of his prey and made their death a prolonged, violent experience. She'd never seen him reject the use of his swords in favour of claws and fists; he did not draw the pair unnecessarily, but Kagura knew tonight- last night? She knew it hadn't been him making a statement about his power in relation to the Phoenix Lords': Sesshoumaru had taken satisfaction in drowning Ryokijin with his bare hands.

Shouldn't that have made her feel better? It should have, but it didn't. And she knew Kanna was safe and that should have helped console her, put her mind at ease, but again, it didn't do any good. It didn't change what had happened, it didn't make her feel better, couldn't wash away-

"Put me down, Sesshoumaru." All the blood and the filth and the stink. Her skin felt better, her burns had healed for the most part already, her feet and shoulder were mending, her back still ached from when she had been pulled out of the sky and slammed into stone, but it would go away. But his scent was on her, that sickening, smothering, suffocating odour of smoke and salt and char, the physical fire tempered with a sweet stink even Kagura could smell. It must have been over-powering for him.

"Why?" He didn't stop walking, didn't look down at her. His voice betrayed as much as if she'd just stated that it would rain today.

"Don't make me explain..." Her clothes were heavy with water, ash and dirt, so much filth clinging to one little body. Kagura shut her eyes tightly, hands fumbling with the front of her gown again despite her clothes being done up as tight as they could go. She'd been exposed, she still felt exposed. That knowledge alone would not have shaken her if Kagura hadn't been so scared when it happened. She had been fine until the fear hit her, her mind a steel trap that hadn't cared what happened so long as she didn't die. Terror had destroyed that, it had let the fire bird's poison soak into her skin and stay there.

"Explain." She opened her eyes because she felt Sesshoumaru looking at her, her teeth beginning to hurt until Kagura realized her jaw was clenched. Her throat felt tight and sore and she resolved not to look at him as she shut her eyes. He was still walking, his stride unbroken as he waited. Did he have a destination, or was he just moving?

"The stink..." She hated him for making her say it. "Now put me down."

"What stink?" He broke her resolve by asking a stupid question, Kagura's eyes snapping up and finding his gold ones. Cold, walled off, impassive, she choked on her words for a moment as anxiety and frustration collided.

"Which one of us is the dog?" He lifted one thin brow at her. "Yes, that was an insult."

"You smell fine." Sesshoumaru stopped walking as she wedged her left arm between her side and his chest, his arms adjusting so he was still able to hold her up as Kagura kept pushing. She balled her right hand up into a fist: if he said one more stupid thing she- "Under everything else, Kagura, you smell like yourself." Everything else, everythi- that's what she was talking about!

Everything else: being chased, being weak, being caught like an animal and held down by bonds she couldn't see. Robbed of choice and freedom, confused and given no reason or purpose for anything. Having to be rescued, again, finding herself weak and trapped again, and smothered in the stink and reality of it. He'd come this time, but he hadn't at first, he'd been late, almost too late. And he'd let her die once before, he'd refused to save her the very, very first time she'd needed him.

What if that happened again?

"What's wrong with me?" The change was sudden and Kagura felt herself start to shake, the rims around her eyes beginning to burn without her control. The fear and worry in her chest weren't hers and the tears forced their way out because she was too tired, too injured, too overwhelmed. He stopped looking at her. "You're scared...? Why? No- stop that! Look at me!"

She saw it because she knew him, she knew his body and his pride and she felt the shift in him. She saw Sesshoumaru's topaz eyes slide past hers and lock on some unknown point. She felt his chest cave just enough that he could have just exhaled- but it held like that. His shoulders inched forward and his chin came down by a hair; he was cowering. He was a dog and he was afraid, hiding right in front of her.

"Stop! Stop- Sesshoumaru what's wrong?" The mutual realization was the reason his strength gave just enough for Kagura's feet to hit the ground; pain lancing up both legs from her healing feet and her already weakened left leg. But she didn't need to stand, and Kagura just ignored the intense ache in her back and shoulders as she threw her arms around his neck; burying her face against him like she hadn't wanted to do into his fur.

Just a few minutes changed everything, and yet another negative emotion came and rammed itself through their marks: the cycle already underway as Kagura clung to him and felt her abused body start to sob.

"I can't do this again- I can't. Just tell me what's wrong this time, please, I'm begging you- just say it this time..." Don't make her guess, no more wondering, no more exaggerations and wild tail-spins, no more, no more, no more... please...

"...I-" He hesitated, and it wasn't a small, typical Sesshoumaru-style pause. She felt his arms rise and freeze without doing anything, his only physical reaction to her embrace and tears. He just froze and didn't move, but the grief pouring into her chest started going deeper, Kagura holding on tighter until she finally felt his arms snap shut around her. And it was a snap; his hold didn't settle around her body, his long arms folded tight against her back as one hand hung onto her side under one arm, the other fastened around her waist.

"Tell me." She felt the spikes on his armour start to push into her chest but Kagura made herself ignore it, eyes shut as her tears irritated her raw skin. It had been weeks and weeks since he had last held her, but it hadn't been long enough since she had last seen him weak- they were supposed to be finished with all of that. His embrace was tight but Kagura couldn't stop crying, turning her face against his silver hair as she held the back of his head with one hand. Sesshoumaru's face turned until she felt his shallow breaths on her neck and his cheek held close against her tear-stained one.

"I didn't ask..."

"Ask what?" She almost knew what he was going to do when his neck tensed and began to straighten, but Kagura couldn't commit to the idea. All the wind-witch had for sure was the knowledge that he was feeling the exact emotions she was, they were just expressing it differently. It was the only way to explain the sudden breakdown and then embrace, or the way his left arm re-adjusted down her back until it was holding her waist, his right one free to move up and touched her face. He felt the same thing, he was hurt the same way?

It felt like a kiss, his thumb breaking up the tear-tracks on one side of her face as his fingers slipped back through her loose, tangled hair. It acted like a kiss, when he tilted her head to the side and she saw his gold eyes holding a flicker that was supposed to only show up when he experienced pain or rage. But Sesshoumaru didn't kiss- he kissed back, but he didn't kiss. Kagura could only think of two he'd ever given her outside of lust; and one of those had been a dream, the other almost as painful and violent and coming moments before he'd marked her.

But it was a kiss. It happened so slowly Kagura could feel the pressure of his lips settle over hers, saw him standing with his eyes closed and his arm curled around her waist, holding her. Holding, not pulling, not squeezing, and a kiss that wasn't hungry, or teasing, or intoxicatingly sweet. No growls or claws, not even a fang to catch her lip as she let him deepen the kiss and closed her eyes.

He could be gentle with her, but he was always intense; that was what surprised her now. No heat, no force, no urgency, there was a question in his touch and feeling it caused fresh tears to spring up from her eyes, her bottom lip starting to tremble.

"I love you." Did he pull away? Did she? Kagura couldn't tell and breathed the words anyways, filling the space between them as Sesshoumaru drew back from her- his hands still in place but with a looser hold. His bangs were down over his eyes and his chest only caved further as Kagura was made to stand on her own again, watching him as their marks gave her nothing to go off of.

But standing made her start to hurt again, a wince building across her face- he knelt first. If he did it because he read her reaction or for some other reason was beyond her. What felt important to her was that his hand slipped from her face and his arm dropped from around her back, Kagura following and kneeling closely in front of him. She reached for one of his hands but he pulled away from her, still looking down, still, in his way, cowering.

"Sesshoumaru-"

"I didn't ask you to be my mate." What? "I took you as my own, but I did not ask..." That... that sounded so... From him, it sounded stupid.

"When... do you ever ask?" Leaning forward and reaching her hand out again, Kagura's fingertips brushed his cheek slowly, her touch light in case he moved back from her again. "I was willing, I-"

"I relied on my instincts and I- it was insufficient." He choked- Sesshoumaru never choked, but Kagura understood what he wasn't saying. She pulled her hand back and wiped her eyes to try and combat the tears, fear still surging through her veins. Most of it was his, but enough of it was hers now; responding to the alien emotions ripping him apart. He had been wrong, that was what he meant.

"It's alright-"

"I did not mark you to be my consort, I wanted you as my wife!" Fine! She'd already agreed to that! Kagura was about to shout the words at him for barking at her- but the shared fire was quenched by a fresh influx of emotion. Guilt, grief, shame; he felt low looking at her, brought down, and it hurt them both as his voice dropped to something unnaturally soft. Yellow eyes that had looked up at her in anger dropped again in shame. "To have you wander like a woman in bondage, chained to a male you did not want- or who did not accept you." Now that... sounded familiar.

How many times had Ryokijin asked her if she was a slave? Or demanded the name of a captor? He had called her unwanted and Sesshoumaru unfit, accused her of being unhappy and ignorant, said she deserved better. In the Phoenix Lord's eyes he hadn't been attacking a wife, he had chased a begrudging concubine. Her words hadn't mattered if Sesshoumaru's actions meant something else.

"Then ask m-eh..." Kagura didn't think before trying to stand. The stinging sensation in her feet was tolerable, it was the tremor of weakness that went up her thigh and hip that caused her to fumble her words and tip over. She caught herself on one hand and found Sesshoumaru's arm bracing her chest, holding her weight as she looked up at his face where he'd flashed closer to her.

There was discontinuity between what she saw and what she felt. The storm of negative emotions on the inside felt overpowering, but his yellow eyes looked so cold, just enough anger and insult woven through his features to mask the distress. The only difference was the focus he placed on her, and the obvious tension in his body as he held her up.

"Your injuries are severe."

"No, they're just many. Some old, some-" Kagura stopped speaking and pinched her red lips together. For Sesshoumaru it was a dramatic shift when his lips parted just a little, and his eyes widened by a hair. But he screamed on the inside: she could almost hear it and clasped a hand over her marks as they resonated. The shame landed like a wave, a heaving blow that made the Demon Lord in front of her stop breathing for several moments.

"A month."

"I've almost healed, don't act like I'm-"

"A month. Show me." Kagura opened her mouth to refuse but then reconsidered. Straightening her body up so she didn't need to lean on him, Sesshoumaru was still kneeling in front of her, eyes pinned to her face.

"Marry me." He blinked at her, and Kagura lifted a finger and jabbed it in his direction. "Swear to finish the ritual with me. You want me as your wife, don't you?" There was a pause, it was typical and brief, but on the inside there was a subtle shift in his emotions. The screaming stopped, she'd confused him.

"Do not change the subject."

"I'm not, you did." His fear was caused by what? Fear of her dying? No. Fear of danger? Definitely not. But fear was the first thing to drain from him, to lessen its intensity, lift its weight. "Do you want me as your mate, Sesshoumaru? Properly this time?" Fear of...

"Yes." ...Rejection? Almost, but not quite.

"Do you want to be my husband?" He paused again and Kagura minded his emotions, not his face. His stature changed though, his shoulders started- started, to relax, he lifted his chin just a little. Still anxious, still worrying, but lessened, he was staring at her without words. "Sesshoumaru."

"Yes." A sliver of emotion bubbled past his lips and Kagura felt her throat constrict. It was hard to swallow and breathing became a chore, but she forced herself to do both.

Fear of... losing her. Of seeing her walk away. So he thought he'd screwed up that badly, did he? Enough that she'd try running away from him now? It scared her a little to feel that, if she did run, he felt too ashamed enough to chase after her. Kagura didn't like that, she could trust him enough to let her leave if she pushed for it, but to have him just give up- no, she didn't like that.

"Show me your chest."

"Show me your leg." Such a puppy, he was stuck on that point now and wouldn't let it go. Kagura ignored him.

"I won't tolerate Rin." He didn't understand her comment. "Take in whatever human children you want, Sesshoumaru, but I won't share you, and I want to keep Kanna with us too so-"

"Stop changing the subject-"

"I'm not!" She harped, and his thin black brows rose again. "It's the same discussion! And remove those too while you're at it!" She pointed at his chest and Sesshoumaru's eyes followed, his curiosity piqued as he took note of the two steel horns on the front of his armour. Kagura hated those spikes, and said as much. "The pauldron's fine, keep it, but those- I'm sick of them! And they don't do anything in battle anyways!"

Kagura wasn't raving at him because she was mad- frustrated yes, but not mad. Her voice rose and she gestured sharply with her hands not to aggravate him, but because she felt him growing calmer as he listened. She almost shouted 'I'm not leaving, you idiot!', but Kagura held the words back. If she was going to call him on the fear then she wanted to do it on her feet, she wanted to talk down to him with her actually standing over him, just to emphasize how stupid his worries were. Sesshoumaru was never scared, but he had a terrible habit of picking the stupidest things to fret over.

'I've waited too long for you to chase me off with one proud mistake.' She thought mercilessly, folding her arms crossly and letting the sentiments fire into his mind. He answered her with something Kagura couldn't name right away, the Demon Lord shutting his eyes where he was still kneeling in front of her- not allowing his face to give it away. Her red eyes widened a little and Kagura pinched her lips together, one hand lifting up and pressing on her marks yet again.

It was the sort of thick, consuming warmth that she woke up with when surrounded by his arms and fur, the long, slow breaths over her skin from a relaxed lover. But it was also deep and thrilling like when she was the focus of his passion. A refreshing cool misted her skin like ocean spray- the playful delight of kicking him into the water and feeling him chase her tickled down her spine. And then there was the tender calm of being drawn into his arms and having earthen lips settle over hers, watching a mountain crumble because it couldn't hold onto the wind.

His love felt like four elements, and Sesshoumaru didn't fight her as Kagura reached for the sides of his throat and jaw and tugged his face down onto hers. Another kiss, his body not answering until she kept pulling him and he had to plant one hand on the ground to keep from falling forward. He kissed her, kissed back, felt better...

Their lips continued to part and meet until Kagura was reclining down on the forest floor, braced on one elbow and still touching his face with her other hand. Sesshoumaru had followed, one knee between her legs and pinning her burnt white dress down, one arm positioned next to hers and propped up outside her elbow. She had forgotten one of her sleeves was missing until the backs of his claws skated down her skin smoothly, then left her.

Leaning back just a little more, Kagura stopped when she felt him refuse to follow, slowly opening her eyes from where they'd slid shut. His face was hovering just in front of hers, bodies close enough to touch. His amber gaze was half-lidded, lips just slightly parted so she knew he was breathing in her scent. Maybe that was why he stopped... She'd forgotten.

"My scent..."

"You smell fine." His eyes slid shut and Kagura watched his head drop just a little, his hair pooling in silver curls on her chest and down her side. Sesshoumaru took a deep breath with his nose against the soiled green silk of her bodice. The garment was still ripped and torn and damp, but he nuzzled her covered breast anyways, the cloth too thick for her to feel it properly. "What else?" His voice sounded so quiet, almost tired, but so tender.

"What else what?" She answered quietly, running her fingers through the screen of his hair. So soft...

"What other demands do you have for me?" The words lacked spite or resentment, her marks resonating with his heartbeat. "I have no further reason to see Rin, Kanna will stay, I will change my armour... What else, Kagura?" What else? So much else...

'Make love to me.' He caught her eyes through his bangs and Kagura felt herself smile, a low chuckle crawling up her throat as she shook her head slowly. Yes, but no. He'd made his little vow and broken it to kiss her, to comfort and hold her, it would be selfish to take advantage of him like this. Those sorts of tricks and ploys could come when he was himself again, when her Sesshoumaru was strong and confident.

"I want..." She sat up a little, her weight still settled on her arm and her other hand still stroking and moving through his soft hair. Sesshoumaru didn't back up as she came forward though, lifting his head just enough so his nose was over her collar bone instead of down in her bosom. She combed her hand through silver locks until she was holding the base of his neck gently, encouraging him to stay there. His hand stroked the side of her neck with his claws, knuckles striking the dangle of her earring. "A new comb."

Feeling the one topaz earring sway immediately reminded Kagura of her missing one; but the jewelry had come second, the comb was first. Her first gift, and it had been from him. It was gone and she wanted him to replace it for her- it didn't feel like too much.

"Do you not like your old one?" That was a strange thing to ask...

"The phoenix stole it..." She felt him nuzzle against her chest- or was he shaking his head? She couldn't tell, but it felt nice and Kagura didn't stop him. They were in such an uncomfortable position though, this would have been much easier if they were laying down- but he didn't want her to move and held her shoulder with his free hand when she tried tipping back. Fine.

"Kagura." Yes? "I want to see your marks." She didn't understand the words for a moment until she felt his nose prod her chest again gently.

"You've never seen them, have you?" Not since he'd actually cut them into her skin; and even then he'd walked away before the experience was complete. But after that he hadn't disturbed her clothing again, hadn't seen her skin until, well, now? Even under the waterfall, that time he'd been mad, Sesshoumaru hadn't pulled her clothes out of the way to actually look at her body. He'd been too wrapped up in his vows to come near her.

Kagura found herself hesitating and understood why. She touched her black sash and stopped without pulling at the knot. Sesshoumaru had not been the last person to see her body: Kanna didn't count, she was a girl, she was family, but Ryokijin... He'd dug his talons into her skin, groped and fondled her. It made her feel sick, sick and angry that he-

"You smell fine." That was the third time Sesshoumaru had repeated the words. "I will not harm you again." Idiot, she wasn't worried about his temper.

The knot came away under her tugs and Kagura sat up as she slipped her other hand free of his hair to pull the green bodice open, tugging on the decorative buttons under her throat to open the white layer underneath. He moved in and then back again when he saw the blue fabric under that, and she felt a thread of curiosity in him. He hadn't known about the third one.

But Kagura was curious too, watching him adjust his legs enough that he could remain down low without bending his body so awkwardly, weight on his knees. He pulled the layers of the gown off her shoulders and spread them down to her waist, but it was done without lust. Sesshoumaru wasn't cold, his hands were gentle as he touched the two bruises under her ribs from his stupid armour, but he didn't suddenly grasp her shoulders and shove her down either. His thumb traced the swell of her breast, but it was done idly, not in preparation to grab and pleasure her.

He touched her marks and Kagura held her breath, his fingertips running slowly down the red slashes before finding their way to the yellow stain between her breasts. He seemed to recognize something about it that she hadn't, but soon lost interest in whatever it was. She was going to say something, she didn't know what, but didn't get a chance before he slowly moved in and pressed his cheek against her skin. He shifted down a little, then over to the right-

And then his facial marks lined up correctly over the ones on her chest.

"-! You son of a-!"

It didn't hurt, but the storm of yoki that flooded into her chest from his skin was electrifying, the sensation bordering on pain as heat and light surged through her body. Her muscles tensed and her arm snapped around his head, holding him to her as her frantic fingers touched smiling lips and closed eyes. Bastard! Snake! Trickster!

Through all his kisses and caresses Kagura had wondered at the lack of intensity, and here it was. Possessive and controlling, her limbs wouldn't work because they didn't want to, her senses quickly overcome by a blurring of pleasure and pain. Her eyes were dazzled by white light and blinded at the same time. She heard his smug voice growling in her head and let the seductive purr assuage her temper. His every touch had been soft and neutral, but now the energy was ripping through her skin and hammering into bone and muscle.

The only thing missing was him, the storm quickly blowing itself out and leaving Kagura exactly where she had been. Sitting uncomfortably on the forest floor with a Demon Lord's face clutched to her bare chest. But that moment didn't last, Kagura sitting up properly as she grabbed a fist-full of silver hair and forced his head up, her other hand tangling with the collar of his white kimono as she snarled at him.

"What the hell was that for! ?" And how dare he look so smug! She'd slap that smile right off his face if he so much as-

"For your injuries." Her what! ? "And clothes. I could do nothing for your temper." Smart-ass! But as Kagura answered his narrowing eyes by releasing her hold on his scalp, she looked down at her dishevelled clothes as the weight of her torn sleeve was restored. The white spider-silk rewove itself before her eyes, the green bodice repairing from the blackened burns across the front. And she was clean; the filth had been physically ejected off her body by the storm of power. It was the same sort of thing she saw him do at times when he didn't want to bathe or pick something off his hair and clothes. But he'd just gone ahead and fired through her like it was nothing! He hadn't even asked!

Smug, proud and satisfied, that was how he felt as he retained the tiniest possible curve on his thin lips. Her frustration just seemed to make him happier, which in turn just flustered her more, but then Kagura had a moment- a flash, that cleared her mind. Maybe it came from him in the form of an 'I hope she doesn't'-thought, or maybe she was just a very clever demon, but either way his pleased expression dropped once he felt her emotions change. She kept her hold on his collar, but with her other hand Kagura swiftly grasped a handful of his fur and pulled.

She didn't pull hard, didn't yank out any of the silken fleece, it was an empty threat but he responded none-the-less. Sesshoumaru's shoulders twisted unexpectedly, a thin breath hissing in through his teeth as he glared at her. He could glower all he wanted, Kagura kept her hand where it was and spoke down to him condescendingly, a disgustingly sweet smile on her lips.

"Take off your shirt, Sesshoumaru, or I'll mark you right here." She threatened, loosening one finger and working a clear patch into his fur, down to the sensitive skin underneath. The threat wasn't so empty this time either. "And my dear, it will hurt." There were few places on his body where it would hurt more actually.

"I afford you too many liberties, woman." He growled, but it wasn't a real growl, just his voice becoming low and rough. Kagura smirked at him and released her tight grip on his fur, smoothing the abused patch tenderly under her hand while tugging up on his collar. He came forward because he wanted to, his pride very forgiving of her 'liberties' as she rubbed her lips over his.

"Shut up and strip." A real growl answered the tease, and Kagura's bare skin felt warm in the mid-day sun filtering down through the trees.

Pain first, pleasure later.

Long chapter is long but was fun. Hopefully I've smoothed over some of the transitions too since the emotions shifted abruptly at first.

Once I figure out the deal with the angry mama demon, I'll finally be able to give you guys an idea of how long this story will be. At the moment, I can hazard a guess right now that I'm working around chapters 22 to 24, but I'm not 100% on that. We shall see!