Whisper

Chapter ONE of FOUR uploaded 7/2

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Chapter Fourteen: Unrequited

At The Blue Note:

Noah sighed as he moved equipment across the stage. "I can't believe you asked the owner to leave the karoake machine. It's so...cheesy."

"Oh, have a heart, Noah. Karoake is the cornerstone of Saturday night entertainment. Not to mention, the wise man who brings a video camera and videotapes his drunken friends singing has blackmail material for a lifetime." Kieran grinned as he dragged vats of liquor behind the bar. "Besides, we'll only do karoake one night a week. I've already got our first band booked and I've sent out feelers for more. I want us to start building a reputation for having great Irish music, great food, and all the Guinness anyone can drink."

"That sounds incredible!" Jessica chirped from the other side of the bar, where she was gathering empty glasses onto a serving tray. "I can't wait until we open!"

Kieran looked over at her as she slowly began walking across the room, holding her tray aloft.
"Jessica, you really don't have to be here. We're not opening for at least a week, and I'm afraid our budget isn't big enough to pay you for helping us get ready for the re-opening."

"Oh, I don't mind." Jessica waved her free hand at him. "Besides, I need to practice. I've never been a waitress before-I always wondered how they handled those trays of food without dropping-oh no!" At that moment she stumbled and the tray tilted, dropping several glasses on the floor where they shattered. Both Kieran and Noah winced.

Kieran walked over to Jessica, and gently took the tray from her. "Do me a favor, love. Practice with plastic cups next time." He sat the tray down on the bar.

"And before you do that, why don't you try practicing sweeping?" Noah handed her a broom, indicating the mess on the floor. Jessica gritted her teeth but took the broom and quietly began sweeping up the broken glass. 'Smooth, Jess.' She scolded herself. 'Way to come across as a clumsy idiot.'

A few minutes later Noah stretched and yawned. "Kieran, I'm beat. We've gotten a lot done today-do you mind if I call it a night?"

"Of course. I'm only going to be here for another hour at the most myself...I want to finish getting the bar set up and maybe run over some new names for the place. I still can't think of anything, but The Blue Note has to go." Kieran waved Noah off casually and knelt down to align more bottles on the underside of the bar.

"Come on, Jess. I'll give you a ride." Noah indicated his younger sister.

"Oh, I'll go home in a little while." Jessica could barely hide her delight at the thought of being alone with Kieran. "I obviously need to keep practicing."

"Whatever." Noah grabbed his jacket off the barstool. "See you tomorrow morning, partner! Bye, Jess." He headed out the door.

Kieran continued stacking bottles, seeming lost in his thoughts for the moment. Jessica again loaded up her tray, this time borrowing some plastic coffee cups she'd found in the kitchen. As she walked, her eyes were on Kieran. This was the opportunity she'd been waiting weeks for, but how could she approach him?

"So how's newlywed life treating you?" It was the first thing she could think of to say and she realized how stupid it was as soon as the words left her lips. The last thing she wanted to hear was Kieran going on and on about Gwen...but then again, maybe there were already cracks in their relationship. After all, Gwen was the Shrieking Shrew of Harmony...how happy could a laidback guy like Kieran be with someone like that? Perking up, she smiled and then made sure to wet her lips and add a little twitch to her walk. She'd learned all the tricks well when she was with Spike-now it was time to put them to good use.

"It's wonderful!' Kieran's smile was heartfelt and his words immediately burst Jessica's bubble. "It's just..every day is a miracle. That's how I look at it-after five years of complete and total darkness, it's like seeing the sun for the first time."

"How poetic." Jessica grumbled under her breath. Kieran didn't seem to hear her. He was sitting on one of the barstools now, absorbed in writing busily on a notepad. Frowning, Jessica began walking again and almost stumbled once more. She swore to herself and then suddenly had an idea. Maybe she wasn't such a clumsy idiot...maybe damsel in distress was more like it. A slow smile curved her lips and she began walking once more, waiting patiently for her moment.

It came just a few minutes later. As Kieran stood up from the barstool Jessica 'accidentally' bumped into him. The tray went flying as she let out a melodramatic gasp and let herself fall off balance. Kieran reached out to grab her and as he did so, she reached her arms around him and pulled as hard as she could. They both went crashing to the floor, Kieran falling nearly on top of her. For a moment both were stunned, Jessica more so. That floor was a lot harder than she'd expected it to be, but still, she of all people could take a little pain.

Kieran raised his weight off her and looked at her anxiously. "Jessica, are you alright?"

"I don't know." She purposely made her voice sound weak. "I feel a little dizzy."

Kieran pulled himself halfway up. "Let's get you over to the sofa and take a look-"

That wasn't what she wanted. Jessica abandoned the fainting girl act and boldly grabbed Kieran, pulling him close to her once again. "I think I'm more comfortable here." She purred. "This may not be so bad after all."

Instant wariness jumped into Kieran's eyes. He tried to gently disentangle himself from her but Jessica just pushed herself closer to him, up on one elbow but with her body still reclined on the floor.

"Where are you trying to go?" she whispered, giving him a seductive pout.

"Jessica, I don't know what you think you're doing, but this isn't a good idea." Kieran made his voice gentle, but there was an underlying sternness to it.

"Why not?" Jessica looked at him coquettishly. "There's no one here but us, and I'm not the type to kiss and tell. I like you, Kieran, and I think you like me too. What's wrong with two consenting adults having a little fun together? If you're worried about your wife, don't be. I just want to be close to you, not break up your marriage." She crossed her fingers behind her back. First she needed to get him in her bed...and once he was vulnerable, he'd be hers...all hers.

"The problem is..." Kieran sat up, pulling himself away from her firmly. "I am not consenting, and I am not interested. I'm married, Jessica."

Jessica's pout was real now. This wasn't how she expected it to go. She hadn't expected Kieran to declare his undying love and promise to leave Gwen for her on their first night together but all men were weak when it came to matters of the flesh. What man could resist a warm, willing female who promised to keep their liasion a secret, wife or no wife? Maybe he didn't think she was sincere. "I promise I won't tell, Kieran. I understand that you wouldn't want Gwen to know...it's OK, really." she moved closer to him, her fingernails trailing up his arm as he face neared his.

"No, clearly you do not understand. Jessica, I don't know much about you but I've heard enough to know that you haven't seen the best side of people in your life, and apparently two people who are and committed to one another are somewhat of a rarity in Harmony. But hear this-not only am I committed to my wife, I'm in love with her. I'm not looking at, nor do I want, anyone else. Now please, let's just go home and forget this ever happened."

"No!" Abandoning any pretense now, Jessica again grabbed Kieran as he tried to rise. "I don't understand! I've known Gwen Hotchkiss a lot longer than you have, and she won't make you happy, Kieran. She's an uptight, cold bitch. You need a real woman, a woman like me. Someone you can relax with, someone who makes you feel comfortable." She again pressed her body close to him, as close as she could get, the feel of his hard muscles thrilling her. "I can make you happy, Kieran. I'm in love with you." She whispered huskily.

"OK, that's it." Kieran wasn't gentle this time when he shoved her away. "I can't listen to this anymore. Jessica, I'm not blind. I've been aware for some time of your infatuation. And that's all it is, Jessica, it is not love. You barely know me so please don't tell me what I want or what I need. As for Gwen, it's apparent you know even less about her and yet you attempt to break a bond that is stronger than anything you can imagine. Even before I met Gwen, she was in my heart. I don't know how to explain it to you. I've never felt that way about anyone before. I looked at her pictures and I read those ridiculous tabloid stories and I knew her...I knew her sometimes better than I knew myself. I know how incredibly stupid that sounds, and I told myself that when I met her, I'd realize it was all a dream. And you know what? I did. And what does someone do when the reality is better than the fantasy ever was? You hold onto it tighter than you've ever held onto to anything and you never let go. I will never let Gwen go, Jessica, so please, stop trying."

Jessica was sitting up now, and as Kieran spoke she felt the tears of humiliation and envy build in her eyes. He spoke about Gwen so warmly, so passionately...the way she'd dreamt that he would speak to her. It wasn't fair. She'd been so sure..the way he looked at her, the way he'd touched her face. She couldn't speak as the tears slid down her face.

At the distraught look on the young woman's face Kieran's heart softened. "Come on, Jessica, don't take this so badly. We all make mistakes sometimes. Here, let me help you up. Would you like some coffee?"

Jessica nodded numbly, still cringing inside like a wounded animal. How could she have been so wrong? Or was she? Was Kieran just denying his feelings for her? She looked at him through a cloud of tears as he started to get up, reaching for her hand. Why was this happening to her? Anger began to worm it's way between the embarrassment and heartache she was feeling. Once again, she was the one left out in the cold. Once again, it was poor Jessica, the town laughingstock, the used goods no one would ever want...why couldn't she have even one single thing that she wanted? Automatically she reached out to take his hand, just wanting to scream, and shout, and hurt, and bleed...

And at that moment, they both heard the front door open, and the click of high heels walking into the entryway.

"Kieran? Are you still here?" Gwen's voice called.

Seizing the opportunity, Jessica again grabbed Kieran, who'd turned his head at the sound of Gwen's voice, pulling him off balance and back onto the floor with her. Before the startled man could stop her, she pressed her lips to his...just as Gwen walked into the room.