Ch 14 A Matter of Trust

"Leave him be Sesshoumaru, he's been through enough. Everyone knows you're the biggest youkai around here for now, you don't have to prove it to this little guy." Inuyasha's tone sounded strong and assertive but Sesshoumaru could hear the slight fear in and the faint tremor, beneath the words. He also knew that Inuyasha would be expecting to be punished in some way for the show of bravado and defiance; as he had always been in the past. Now Sesshoumaru could see that so many times, if not all of them, his own guilt over his harsh treatment of Inuyasha had made him bitterly angry; which he had then taken out on his brother again, making a vicious circle that he couldn't break.

How had someone so inherently intelligent as he was, given in to his grief and jealousy to torment a child; who was innocent of any blame? It was never the show of blood superiority or strength that he had invented. Who would honestly have believed that lie; the child Inuyasha could not have changed his blood by being beaten and would never have proved stronger than his brother. Sesshoumaru also realised that the West would be stronger with both of the father's sons and he could honestly say that he wanted his brother as a brother. He also needed to get Inuyasha to come back with them and to make him talk to find out how old he was now and at what stage of his life.

Sesshoumaru did not recognise that he was still being quite selfish; although he genuinely wanted to make amends with Inuyasha, it was always for his own reasons.

"Jaken" Sesshoumaru said again, which in itself was unheard of. But he assumed that Inuyasha was preventing the imp from leaving.

"You don't have to go Jaken, he threw you away didn't he?"

"No Master Inuyasha, I have to obey my Lord; let me pass."

"Feh, catch me doing anything that bossy boots wants." Inuyasha was definately expecting some come back for that one. He didn't know why he said such things to his brother; but it was his only form of rebellion, the only weapon he had at his disposal to fight the oppresive Sesshoumaru. Jaken for once could see from Inuyasha's side, the fear that the boy was in really, when he mouthed off. Previously he had been with Sesshoumaru and had reviled the hanyou; while his brother took retribution for the rudeness from the whelp's hide. If he could tell how afraid the pup was, there was no doubt that Sesshoumaru had always known and for the first time, Jaken had felt ashamed of his Lord.

But Jaken was still his Lord's servant and he left the side of the young hanyou to return to his master. For the first time since Sesshoumaru had grown hot with anger and had thrown him from the window and hard into a tree, Jaken bowed low before his Lord.

"You are redeemed Jaken, you may return. Inuyasha, you too will come back to the Palace; return to my care."

"I won't. I don't know why I was there in the first place or what trick you think you are trying to play now. You don't want me so I'll stay here."

"I have changed Inuyasha, you are under no threat now and I just want you home."

"It's not going to work Sesshoumaru, you can't mess with my mind. I know what you think of me."

"In the past Inuyasha, all in the past.You have a home now." Sesshoumaru's voice was hypnotic and seductive; Inuyasha could hear no rebuke or anger and his senses could not detect a lie, but he had been fooled by his brother before.

"Go away Sesshoumaru...please, there I even asked nicely; I will not be conned again brother." The sneer was clearly present in the way of speech if not on his actual face.

"I understand why you don't trust me Inuyasha and I'm sorry; you have every right, but I am offering you a home and family with my mate." Sesshoumaru watched the pale face of his brother as tears coursed down the whelp's cheeks and he carefully wiped them away with his fingers. "Please don't cry Inuyasha, not when I am not hurting you." His voice was softer and kinder than Inuyasha had ever heard him and the hanyou wanted more than ever to believe his brother; but he pulled away.

"You are such a cruel bastard, brother. I've worked you out, you want me to fall for that; you being nice and kind and then sometime when I'm happy, you'll throw me out again. I'm not stupid but, I couldn't take that. That would kill me and you're not gonna do that so just GO AWAY." Inuyasha turned his back on Sesshoumaru who recognised his defeat this time and he walked away.

"I'll come for you again Inuyasha." He said, noting the still shuddering shoulders of his brother and making sure his words didn't sound like a threat. "Jaken, I believe I overheard you say that you would protect my brother with your life such as it is. It will be worth nothing should harm befall Inuyasha; do I make myself clear?"

"Yes My Lord." Jaken stayed put as he watched his Lord turn and disappear; then he went over to his Young Lord and tried to pat him comfortingly.

"Why Jaken, why do you all hate me so? Why could he never love me? There is no where I can hide from him, he always finds me again." Inuyasha's tears were very bitter and the imp got a first hand idea of all the pup had gone through, when Sesshoumaru had first haunted his steps.

Sesshoumaru reached his home in a fairly despondent mood, although the sight and presence of Kagura and Rin was always heartening to his spirits. He went to find Setsuzentaru to seek his advice. After recounting all that had happened Sesshoumaru had to wait while the Eagle considered.

"You thought the pup would automatically see things your way Sesshoumaru? Inuyasha is a survivor and at his mental age now, he is well able to live alone. I know that you always had people to guard him at a distance; but emotionally, he is self taught.

"What do I do?"

"Patience, do him no harm and he will come to you; but do not rush him, let him take his own time. It is a great pity that it ever came to this between you."

"I do not know why it did so. I know I was jealous often, but why I used such cruelty once he'd been taken from me and sometimes even before; I do no know. I am not a cruel person by nature; ruthless sometimes, but mainly just. But with Inuyasha, it was as if I just wanted his pain. Yet I know that I loved him too." This was more than Sesshoumaru had ever revealed to anyone before but he felt relieved. The Eagle Youkai was nodding;

"You were left bereaved and with the West to run and to prove yourself. Then you were also left with your brother with no siblings between you. You felt too old to be his brother and too young to feel like his father and yet you grew to love him and to feel you owned him. Inus are notoriously possessive. But love and hate are closely linked, Sesshoumaru and you chose to assert yourself over him by trying to demean and subdue him. It has worked well and now you wish to change things you will have to wait and gain his trust. In his time...not yours. Put his needs before your own for now.

"Oh and Sesshoumaru, do not crowd him; go by yourself to prove your intentions, by all means but...let him come to you." Setsuzentaru sighed as he watched the TaiYoukai walk gracefully away. The self assurance with which Sesshoumaru carried himself, was so indicative of someone who says 'do this' and it is done. But Inuyasha was not going to just fall into line for him. The Eagle could only hope it worked out for the best for both boys; sons of an old friend, one of whom he had known from the pup's birth and the other who he was just coming to know.

So Sesshoumaru started to 'visit' Inuyasha, to talk with him and to see how he was faring according to Jaken. He never entered the cave or invaded Inuyasha's personal space except to kiss the boy goodbye each time he left. That this was so blatently different to the behaviour Inuyasha would have been expecting from him, was obvious. It took over a week for the pup not to tense up in expectation of his brother's energy whip; every time he smelt him in the area, let alone see him. But at least Inuyasha hadn't yet run off to try to hide somewhere else.

No one knew Inuyasha as well as his older brother and in the past Sesshoumaru used this knowledge effectively, undermining the hanyou's self esteem and self worth. This was not his purpose now however; he was now willing to put his brother through emotional highs and lows, because the benefits would be worth it. He knew that the kinder words and actions were far more powerful than beatings had been, for breaking his brother's shell and getting him to submit to the inevitable...obedience to Sesshoumaru's will.

The next stage of Sesshoumaru's plan was to bring the occasional gift. He had overheard Inuyasha telling Jaken about his hunting skills and the fact that Inuyasha could catch rabbits and fish but he also enjoyed boar. But he was not strong enough to hunt boar yet, it was too risky and he couldn't afford unneccessary injury by the tusks. That was the all that Sesshoumaru needed to hear and Inuyasha found his brother, next bringing him a small boar; already dressed and cleaned for cooking.

He even stayed to eat with Inuyasha when invited; but he was too wise to overstay his welcome, especially when he could see the confusion in his brother's eyes. The desire to cave in and go with Sesshoumaru was great, but Inuyasha's will to survive and for his self preservation was greater. To go with Sesshoumaru, trusting that things had turned for the better; would mean putting his very soul on the line, Inuyasha would not be able to cope with rejection again. The older youkai knew how much his little brother yearned to be part of the family and soon Sesshoumaru would see to it that Inuyasha would come home where he belonged.

Blankets and cushions were among the first things Sesshoumaru supplied and then there were other gifts of food; treats that Inuyasha could not get for himself, fruits and sweets. A plate and cup for all of them and some utensils, all found their way to the cave. Sometimes it would be candles and even books; Sesshoumaru helping his brother to read the harder words that he had not had the chance to learn since his mother died. This had the effect of bringing the brother's closer together, as Sesshoumaru shared his knowledge with patience and kindness; although neither realised it.

Sesshoumaru found however, his brother's trust hard to win; he had killed it so effectively the first time around but he was not known for losing, he always prevailed in the end. So far he had not brought Rin or Kagura to add their persuasive powers, Setsuzentaru had advised against it for reasons best known to himself and which he kept to himself at the moment; but he had suggested that it was Sesshoumaru alone, who needed to build the bridge.

Inuyasha was quiet and fairly timid; much more like the pup of his early years at the Palace during these visits and Sesshoumaru came to the conclusion that the brash and hard exterior that was normal in the hanyou was all a mask. It was as Midoriko had said, while the boy wasn't being threatened or hurt, the brash bravado was not evident. Sesshoumaru always left him with a kiss on his forehead and now he was allowed to gently caress the boy's head, before he left.

After a month of these 'visits' Inuyasha was much more friendly and open again but he still would not go back with his brother; he was nothing if not stubborn. Sesshoumaru had one more gift for his little brother which he had been saving; until Inuyasha was more receptive to him. In his rooms there was a oblong box made of rosewood and Sesshoumaru ran his hands over the lid with care. Kagura came over to him and asked what was contained in the box; but it took Sesshoumaru a long time to reply, this was as much his history as Inuyasha's and the box contained a painful memory.