Jem sat beside her father's bed for what seemed like forever. She had the rest of her team tending to the other patients, only caring for the ones who were in critical condition. She'd already lost over thirty people on the base and she couldn't bear to lose another – especially not her father. She felt guilty for the lives lost, though she knew there was nothing she could have done for them anyway. She held Rodney's hand in hers and attempted to blink back her tears.

She'd always felt like she was missing something, growing up without her mother, but she'd always had her father, no matter how unhappy he may have been most of the time. She loved him so much, and even more now, if that were possible, that she had discovered the Rodney McKay that had once trolled the hallways of the lost city as one of its first explorers and defenders. Although she hadn't been with him at the time, she liked to picture him as the hero; saving the day in the blink of an eye with his incredible intelligence. It didn't seem so far to stretch, as that's what he'd done for them only a day before. She loved him even more because she knew he'd done it all for her.

Jem jumped when she felt a warm hand stroke her arm and looked over to find that Torren was sitting right beside her. She forced a smile as she acknowledged his presence for the first time.

"How long have you been there?" she asked.

He grinned. "You didn't notice me?"

Jem bit her lip. "Um, well, sorry, no. I mean, I would have, you know, if I wasn't, well, uh, so, um, distracted," she stuttered, feeling bad that he may have been there for hours without her knowing.

"Relax," he chuckled, "I just got here."

"Oh," she smiled in relief. "Good. I was worried I'd been ignoring you for a long time or something."

He looked at her father and then back at her. "How's he doing?"

"Not that well," she replied hesitantly. "I have no idea how to help him, or if I even can. If I can't figure out what to do, he won't make it much longer. That Wraith took too many years off of his life." She glanced back at Rodney. "I mean, I hate to say it, but he wasn't that young to begin with, you know? He couldn't really afford to lose that much of his life."

Torren nodded. "Sorry Jem," he said.

Jem shook her head, blinking back more tears, willing herself not to cry in front of Torren. "Thanks," she muttered, unsure what the correct response was in a case such as this.

The sat in silence for a moment before Torren suddenly pulled something out of his pocket. Jem turned to see what it was that he was reaching for.

"So we were going through Navid's stuff last week," he began, "and I found this." He held up an old pocket-sized brown book that looked pretty worn.

"What is it?" she asked. He handed it to her and she looked inside. In messy handwriting it read Property of Doctor Rodney McKay. "It's my dad's journal?" she said sceptically.

"Yep, that's what it looks like."

"And Navid had it?"

"What can I say? He was a big fan of your father's work," Torren shrugged.

"A big fan or a big stalker?" Jem asked.

"Probably a little of both," he winked. "Anyway, I thought you might like it."

"Thanks," she said, forcing a smile for him. She put it down on the table next to her father's bed.

"Jem?" Torren said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No," she sighed. "Unless you have the power to give someone everlasting life?" she asked in a way that made it difficult to determine if she were joking or serious. Torren assumed it was probably a little of both.

"Sorry," he replied. "No magic here."

Jem nodded and returned to her state of near-tears, clutching Rodney's hand.

"I'm going to go," he whispered. "If you need me, just radio me and I'll be right here."

"Mhm," Jem responded, barely noticing him anymore.

It was only a few more hours before he was called back, but it wasn't Jem who called, it was Grace's voice he heard over the radio, morosely telling him, "Rodney died a few minutes ago."

When he got to the infirmary, he found Jem still holding onto her father's hand as tightly as she could, her head buried in his stomach, sobbing. Torren immediately ran toward her as quickly as he could.

"Jem?" he started. He stroked her arm and wiped a few of the hysterical tears from her eyes. "Jem? I'm here, okay?" he said, hoping that would bring her a little comfort.

Jem looked up at him, her whole face was red and wet from crying. "Torren," she sniffed, "he's dead," she choked out.

Torren nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry," he whispered so quietly it was barely audible.

"It's not fair!"

"I know, it isn't," he agreed.

"He saved our lives! Shouldn't he deserve to live? It's not fair!" she exclaimed. She burrowed her head into her father's body again.

Eventually Torren was able to convince Jem to let them take the body away. He held her as they wheeled him away. She was shaking harder than he knew a human could. She was no longer crying hysterically, but he figured that was probably from dehydration. She folded neatly into his arms and he held her tightly, continuing his attempt to comfort her.

Suddenly, Jem pushed away from him, wiping the tears from her face, sniffing. She hated getting emotional in front of people. She stood motionless for a moment, then turned and walked quickly through the halls to get back to her quarters.

Only a few minutes had passed when she heard a knock on her door. She remained curled in a ball on her bed, hoping if she ignored whomever was there that they would just go away. She was disappointed to discover that this was not the case when the door slid open anyway and she heard footsteps coming toward her.

She didn't look up. She didn't have to; she knew it was Torren. He sat down beside her and leaned back on the bed.

"What?" she asked unintentionally harshly.

"I didn't want you to be alone," he began. "Plus, you also forgot this." He held up the journal.

Jem didn't respond. She could see that he was uncomfortable. It was obvious that he wanted to help her, but he felt as helpless as she did. Without a word, she curled up closer to him, laying her head in his lap. He put his arm around her shoulders and let her fall asleep.

"I love you," he whispered under his breath when he was confident she was no longer awake.

She smiled, pretending not to have heard him.