http:// teagueful. livejournal. ?thread=15150491#t15150491

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"NII-SAMA!"

Otherwise, he was having a rather mundane day. He started wondering just what happened-- where did this start? How? When?? Who could have done this to her? Phoenix? Klavier? Ema? Brushel? I don't think anonymous would even go this low, but some sick person had let Trucy get a hold of something... Something terrible.

"Nii-sama! Want to see my new sugoi Magic Panties no Jutsu desu ka?"

"What?"

She did it again.

"Onegai!!" She stomped her foot. "It's a lot of fun, so look at me kudasai~!"

"I'm going for a walk."

"Baka! BAKA NII-SAMA!"

"What do cows have to do with this?"

"I meant STUPID! I'm not speaking Spanish here!"

"I figured..." There's nothing like messing with her at this point.

"You meanie!" She stuck out her tongue. "I'm going to make Mr. Hat use his Hat no Jutsu on you!!"

"Hat no Jutsu..."

"SHINEEEEEEE!!!!" Crank. Crank.

"..."

"Trucy?"

"Yes, Nii-Sama?"

"Why does Mr. Hat have a 'X3' face?"

"Because it's kawaii desu~!"

"Did you just 'desu~!' me?"

"Ummm... yes?"

"That's it, I'm calling Phoenix."

--

"Apollo, you mean--"

"Yes."

"..."

"She's a weeaboo, Phoenix." A sob drifted across the other line.

"H-" A hic. "How did this happen, Apollo?!?!"

"I don't know, but she must have gotten some Anime somewhere."

"WHO DID THIS TO MY BABY?!?!" A sob.

"I don't know, Mr. Wright, but weeaboos are serious business."

"I'm on my way home right now!"

"Do you have an idea?" Apollo paused. "What should we do?"

He could hear the older man attempt to calm himself down over the phone. After a minute or so, he seemed to be as diplomatic as he usually was-- sort of. "There's only one way to talk to a weeaboo, Apollo."

"And that is--"

"You can't tell them Anime isn't cool. They get all butthurt about it." He said. "They don't even know English anymore."

"What?"

"They figure the more they say 'desu~!', the more they'll slowly turn Japanese..."

"But that doesn't make any--"

"I know, but maybe we can still save her." Apparently Phoenix was well into walking on his way home with car horns and such on the other line... "She hasn't eaten ramen yet, has she?"

"I don't think so, but she's definitely had Pocky at some point."

"..." Silence. "How can you tell?"

"She drew a 'X3' face on Mr. Hat--"

"AN 'X3' FACE?!?" Gasp. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TEL ME THIS BEFORE?!?!?!"

"I didn--"

"I'm almost home! Don't let her go up to her room!"

"Why not?"

"She'll just watch more!"

--

"TRUCY!!!" Phoenix stomped in as the door flew and closed immediately behind him. Apollo sat on the couch holding Trucy be the elbow as she still struggled to leave.

"..."

"Trucy?" Apollo stared down at his sister.

"Oh God, it's worse than I thought--" Phoenix walked around in front of her, kneeling and grabbing the girl by the shoulders. "She doesn't even asnwer to her own name anymore!" A shake.

"How do we solve that."

"We'll have to talk to her..." His gaze slowly, eerily turned towards Apollo. "In Wapanese."

"Wapa-- Mr. Wright!" A shock, Apollo braced backwards. "You cant! You'll--"

"It's dangerous, I knot! But we have to help her."

"But --"

"Tadaima~!"

"Otosan!" Trucy gleamed. "I'm so glad your home da yo!!"

The man nearly fell back as Trucy glomped him. "I felt it safe to come home early. Kakkoi desu ne?"

"Kakkoi desu yo!"

"Trucy Chan," Apollo heard this and sighed. "I have a question for you desu."

"Ah! I can do it!" Trucy held up a peace sign, and Phoenix was almost about to sob again, but he held it back. "Watashi wa supaa sumaato!"

Phoenix and Apollo cringe.

"Nani the HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING KA?!?!"

"Ehhh? Nani--"

"TRUCY CHAN!" Phoenix stood up. "You know you're not allowed to watch anime!"

"D-demo--"

"No demos!" He through his hat to the floor. "Who lent you Naruto ka?!"

"I... I--"

"Trucy chan..." Phoenix knelt back down and embraced her in a hug. "Aishiteru. You can tell me nandemo, you know that."

"Otosan!" She sobbed. "I-- I've been getting it from... from Gavin Klavier-San!"

Apollo and Phoenix catch their glances and Apollo heads swiftly into the other room. The sound of ramen cups falling to the floor tap like a heartbeat as Apollo can be heard getting the phone.

"Moshi moshi?" Apollo flinched on the other line. "Klavier desu~!"

"PROSECUTOR GAVIN!"

"Dare desu ka?!"

"Watashi no namae wa Apollo desu, you damn airhead."

"Forehead chan~!"

"Don't call me CHAN, you baka." Apollo locked his brow as Klavier KYAAAAed. "What did you do to Trucy Chan?"

"We-tachi were watching Naruto, ne? Got a problem with that?"

"Yes I have teh problems! And you sa 'JA', not 'NE!'"

"Sou ka?"

"She's eating RAMEN because of you!"

"Ramen? Where?!?!"

"Prosecutor Ga--"

"I want teh delicious ramens!"

"Trucy chan just ate it all."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Klavier hung up.

Apollo nearly fell to the floor. What's going on? He didn't know, but he just shivered in his place as he heard another slam from the office door."

"KISAMA!"

"Klavi-kun!"

"You OMNOMNOMED all teh ramens!" Klavier pointed at her directly. "I thought there was something between us!"

"Klavi-kun! You're so kowai--"

"Naruto's not kakkoi anymore!" Klavier crossed his arms. "You'd make a terrible Gaara cosplay and Naruto ends up with Hinata, not Sasuke!"

"So he can be my husband!! He is so kawaii~!"

"Urusai! He ends up with Sakura!"

"Dame da!"

"Damn right, dame da..." Klavier crossed his arms.

"That can't be canon!"

"Sure it is. I read the leak on 4chan."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

"It's okay though. We can get into something else that's really kakkoi, like video gam--"

"I heard Code Geass and Lucky Star were sugoi!"

Phoenix slapped Trucy across the face. A mark from his bracelet stamped across her sideburn area as she fell to the floor.

"You know. Naruto hasn't been cool for like... twenty years now. I don't get it! This is ridiculous!"

Apollo and Klavier were lost in expression.

"Think about it. I was fourteen when it was actually cool, but by the time I was fifteen there were so many of you damn weeaboos that you ruin everything from Fullmetal Alchemist to Final Fantasy VII!"

"..."

"What do you too have to say for yourselves?!"

"Sorry Daddy..."

"Tru-- Trucy?"

"If Naruto's not cool anymore, " a look towards Klavier. "I don't know what to do anymore.

Klavier smirked from behind with a nod. Did he actually just... unweeaboo a weeaboo? He did.

"Arigatou Prosecutor Gavin kun."

"Do itashimashite!" Klavier waved his hand and left. "Ja--"

"Klavi--"

"Ne!" Apollo's head sunk as Klavier left.

"I'm so sorry Daddy! You too Polly!" She hugged them both. "I promise I won't eat anymore ramen and watch anymore Naruto! I'll just play Nintendo DS games for the rest of my life and retain my sanity!"

"Perfect, let's go play Elite Beat Agents!" Phoenix grinned.

And all was well in the kingdom.