Lost Boys

by StartWhereYouAreUseWhatYouHave

Jess and Kirk both experience life changing events. Luke does his best to be there for both of them.

14. Chapter 14 - First Houses and Dates

Chapter 14 Notes: I feel this story is drawing to a close and, unless I get sudden inspiration for another chapter, everything will likely be wrapped up in the next installment. As always, thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with this story, and especially to those who've been generous enough to leave me reviews. I appreciate you all very much.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls

The first time Luke stepped into the house after the closing, it looked different than it had the last time he saw it only two days earlier, when he had brought Jess and Kirk by to finally check it out, Jess having been adamant about not influencing Luke and staying out of the house hunting process until Luke had made the decision on his own. He couldn't put his finger on what was different. It just looked like his now. His house. His walls. His floor. His ceiling. His yard. The setting for the second half of his life. Luke walked alone through the empty rooms. He reflected on how this was only the third major decision he had made in his life. He had converted his dad's hardware store into a diner, purchased the building next store when he had needed more space for Jess, and now bought a house of his own. It occurred to him that that was a paltry list of major life decisions for a man who was about to turn forty. He had never gotten married, never had a child, never done so many of the things he always thought he would, or that most 'normal' people seemed to do. He had never even come close to finding someone to have a family with. He had regrets. He assumed everyone had at least some regrets. He knew he should have been bolder, and not spent so much time living in fear of change. He should have ended things with Rachel, instead of waiting for her to leave him. He had realized early on that she wasn't going to stay, and he knew that he would never leave. And still, he had given in to inertia and wasted his late twenties and early thirties on an on again off again relationship that he knew had no future. Because he had been scared to lose a woman who hadn't been all that invested in the relationship to begin with. He had been scared of being completely alone. Again. He had even spent another year with her in his late thirties, when she had come back to town, returning to something safe and familiar when she had been going through a personal crisis and questioning her own life choices. Getting back together had been an exercise in futility, with him throwing himself into the relationship, and working hard to make Rachel content with life in Stars Hollow, with him, even though history had already taught him that he couldn't. That wasted time had been on him, and him alone. He knew her. He knew himself. Deep down he had known better. But having someone want to be in his life, even if he had never really trusted her when she had said she was staying, that this time was different, had been too comforting an offer to turn down.

He should have asked Lorelai out on a date at some point. He certainly had had enough opportunities to do it over the years. But, he never had the guts. He had told himself he was too afraid of ruining what he already had with her, their playful banter, someone who cared about him and listened to him, a person in his life that made him feel like he wasn't completely alone in the world. He hadn't been brave enough to risk that for what he imagined they could have had together. And now she was dating that guy who was opening his own coffee shop. Alex somebody. Luke had run into them in town once and Lorelai had introduced them. The guy had seemed nice, solid, more grounded than the men she usually went out with. Luke could see this one working out. He had probably missed his shot with Lorelai. Out of fear.

He thought about the good things he did have in his life. Jess. And, soon Jess' baby. Kirk. Memories of his parents. Liz, sometimes, when she wanted something or remembered she had a brother. But, mainly Jess. He reflected on how he hadn't had to make any decisions there. The best thing in his life had been thrust upon him. Liz had sent Jess to Stars Hollow whether Luke wanted him or not. He was thankful for his sister's lack of consideration now, because he knew himself well enough to know that if Liz had given him a way out, he would have taken it. He could remember being petrified at first. That he wouldn't know what to do with a teenager, that they wouldn't take to each other and Jess wouldn't like him, that Luke would be too set in his ways to adjust to having someone, especially a kid, sharing his space. But, Luke had been shoved out of his comfort zone to make his nephew feel welcome and take care of him and good things had happened. The best things. His relationship with his nephew was the thing he valued most in his life. And, then, letting Kirk in had been easier because he had already opened his life up to Jess. He had been a little more confident and a little less out of practice socially and emotionally by the time Kirk had needed a hand, so the transition to having Kirk in his life had gone smoother. Plus, Kirk had been in real need. There was no way Luke could have turned his back on him in the gazebo that night. In a way, Kirk had been thrust upon him, too.

He thought about his future, and knew he had likely used up all his chances for God or the universe to help him out. He knew he had to take more responsibility for the things he wanted out of life. A loving relationship with a partner. Possibly children of his own. Those things probably weren't going to just show up on his doorstep the way Jess and Kirk had. He wanted to be someone who could open himself up to new people and experiences that might lead to a more fulfilling life. He knew he couldn't look to Jess, or his baby, to make him happy or give his life meaning. He worried about how difficult it would be when Jess and his great-nephew eventually moved out. He knew that was a natural part of life. Children grow up. They leave. Even biological children. He rationally knew that all he could do was enjoy the time he still had with his nephew and then his great-nephew and try not to worry about the future. But, emotionally, he knew that wasn't possible. He and Jess had gotten so much closer since Jess had found out about the baby, and his heart already ached at the idea of losing that, and not having the kid in his life on a day to day basis. He knew he was being dramatic, and that he wouldn't lose Jess completely when the boy moved out. The kid would still be in his life in some way, even if he no longer lived with Luke. Even if he eventually moved away from Stars Hollow. It just wouldn't be the same. And, Luke was just really bad at change. A part of him hoped that he was in a relationship by the time Jess moved out in hopes that having someone else in his life to love and focus on would soften the blow. Another part of him felt pathetic for thinking that, knowing that once again everything would come back to him not wanting to be alone. He knew he was perfectly capable of being alone. Of being his own little island, population, one. He had been for years, both before and after Rachel. He had been for long enough that he knew people in town referred to him as a hermit behind his back. He knew he could do it again if he had to. But, it would be that much harder to adjust to now, after having had a family again for a short time. It would be him, alone again, but now instead of being by himself in his apartment, he would be rattling around in a big empty house, paying to heat rooms he didn't even use. He didn't want that. He wanted more. And, he knew he couldn't just sit back and wait for something good to happen. Not anymore. He needed to do something about it himself.

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"So, how did it go with Lulu's family last night, Kirk?" Luke asked. He was eating a late dinner at the table in the apartment with Jess and Kirk on a rare evening when neither boy had to work. Luke had told them how the house had become officially his that morning, and they had just finished making plans to start packing the following day so that they would be ready to start moving into the house the next week. Luke wanted everything moved and settled into the new house before the baby was born in a few weeks. But, he had started to feel stressed by all the things that needed to be done for the move, and he needed a subject change. When Lulu's aunt had learned that her niece had become friends with one of her former students, she had insisted that Lulu invite Kirk over for Sunday dinner. Kirk had been very excited at the chance to see his junior high guidance counselor again, and Luke was hoping it had gone as well as the boy had been expecting.

Kirk's face lit up at the question even as he quickly finished chewing his bite of chicken. "It was so great, Luke! It was so good to see Mrs. Kuschner again. She even remembered who I was from junior high!"

Luke smiled. "I'm not surprised. You're a pretty memorable person, Kirk."

Kirk looked thoughtful, considering that. "I don't know. People don't usually remember me. Or, I guess sometimes they do, but they pretend they don't if they don't want to talk to me. Like when I run into some of the kids I used to go to school with in town. But, she remembered me and was happy to see me. It really made me feel special."

"You are special, Kirk." Jess said. Luke shot a look at his nephew out of the corner of his eye, monitoring the boy for signs of sarcasm, but Jess was looking seriously at Kirk as he spoke, with no trace of mocking in his expression.

"Thanks, Jess. I appreciate that." Kirk paused. "Mrs. Kuschner is such a nice lady. She always made me feel special when I saw her for counseling back in junior high, too. And her whole family is very nice. She has a cute, little dog named Scout. He's very friendly and he let me pet him a lot. She says he's a mutt, but that he's very smart. He can do tricks like shaking hands and rolling over. Mrs. Kuschner's daughter taught him how. Jess, do you know her daughter, Jen? She was in your grade at school."

"I know who she is. I've seen her around, but I'm not sure I've ever spoken to her or anything."

"Well, she's nice, too. She's going to go to Central Connecticut next year, just like Shane. I asked her if she knew Shane and she does. They used to be on the same tennis team when they were younger. Mrs. Kuschner's husband is very nice, too. He's a teacher, but I had never met him before because he doesn't teach at Stars Hollow. He teaches math at St. Mary's, the Catholic high school in Woodbury."

"I forgot about St. Mary's." Luke said. "Hey, Jess, maybe you can retake your senior year there, if you don't want to go back to Stars Hollow High."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Uh, excuse me, but I'm trying to listen to Kirk's story over here, if you don't mind, Mr. Rude."

Luke laughed. "Sorry, but I was just thinking that maybe Catholic school is what you need. Wearing a tie to school every day. Strict nuns with rulers to whip you into shape. It might be good for you." Luke grinned. "That or maybe military school, but we don't have one of those nearby."

Jess shot his uncle a mock disdainful look, and shook his head. "Gee, I don't really think I'm going to have time for book reports and pep rallies with a new baby to take care of, but thanks for the suggestion. And, for future reference, it's not right to want me to suffer just so you can have a good chuckle at my expense. You're going to have to get your jollies somewhere else." He knew Luke wasn't really over what had happened with school, but he appreciated that his uncle had mostly let it go and was able to joke about it now. The morning after Jess' very short-lived experience as a runaway, Luke had made him promise to at least take the GED if he refused to make up his senior year. Jess had agreed, to keep his uncle happy, and later that afternoon, he'd been the recipient of a GED study guide. He had raised an eyebrow at the cover, prompting Luke to laugh and tell him that he couldn't be blamed for the title. He didn't name the book, he'd said, if he had, he would have used a much more creative word than 'dummies.' Jess had yet to crack the book, but he would get to it. He had meant it when he told his uncle that he would take the GED. He wasn't going to let him down about school twice.

Jess turned his attention back to Kirk. "What did you guys talk about? Was it weird hanging out with your former guidance counselor? I think I would be uncomfortable in that situation."

"Jess, have you ever even met your guidance counselor?" Luke's only response was a scowl from his nephew, which made Luke chuckle.

Kirk shook his head. "It wasn't weird at all. I really enjoyed it. We just talked about normal stuff, I guess. School, work, what everyone was up to. I told them all about my job working for Taylor and how I'm helping him plan the Firelight Festival right now. And after dinner, we all played Yahtzee. Well, not Jen, she had a date with her boyfriend, but the rest of us. It was very fun. Then, before I left, Mrs. Kuschner asked me if she could talk to me privately, so we went out to the backyard, just the two of us and Scout, and she asked me about how I was doing with my mom…with what happened to her. We talked about that for a while, and she said she thinks I should talk to someone regularly, like a therapist, about it. She says that it doesn't mean she thinks I'm crazy or anything, but that most people could benefit from talking to a grief counselor after a loss…particularly a loss from…what happened to my mom."

It hit Luke that he should have thought of this months ago, that Kirk should have been seeing a professional all this time. He had done his best to try to be there for the boy, getting up in the middle of the night to keep him company when he couldn't sleep, talking to him when Kirk needed to keep his mind off his loss, and listening to him when he needed to talk about it. Trying to keep him from feeling alone. But, of course, he should have suggested grief counseling to a teenaged kid who'd lost his one and only family member to suicide. Late night games of rummy were only going to help so much. Luke was suddenly embarrassed by how remiss he had been in making sure Kirk got the help he needed. There had been no one there to suggest counseling for Luke when his father died, and he hadn't thought of it now. He had been trying to look out for Kirk, to make sure the boy wasn't alone and had a better time of it than Luke had had after his father's death, but it seemed he had missed the most important thing he could have done for Kirk. But, he could at least support it now. "I think that's a really good idea, Kirk. I think talking to a therapist will be good for you. Are you going to look in to it?"

Kirk tilted his head to the side. "I'm not sure yet. Mrs. Kuschner gave me the name and number of a counselor that she recommends. She told me that I should call her to set up an appointment. I'm a little concerned about how much it will cost, though. I didn't want to ask, but I think things like that are usually expensive. Do you have any idea how much something like that would cost, Luke?"

"No, but don't worry about the money, Kirk. We'll figure it out. I think Mrs. Kuschner's right. I think it's important for you to have someone to talk to who knows about stuff like this and who can help you. So, you just set up the appointment and we'll figure it out, ok? I can help you with this if you need me to."

"Oh, no, Luke! That's not what I meant. I would never ask you to do that. Not after everything you've already done for me."

"You didn't ask. I'm offering. I really feel like this is something that you need to do, and I don't want you to not do it because of money. So, make the appointment, ok, Kirk?"

Kirk nodded. "Ok. I'll call tomorrow, and see what they say. Maybe I'll even be able to afford it on my own."

"Maybe you will. But, either way, I think this will be really good for you. I'm sorry for not thinking of it myself."

Kirk furrowed his brow, confused by Luke's apology. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Luke. I didn't think of it either."

"I know, but…just…sometimes it's hard to see things clearly when you're the one going through something. I feel like I should have thought of it. I'm glad Lulu's aunt did."

All three sat, eating quietly for a few minutes, until Jess broke the silence. "So… what about Lulu? How are things going with her? Do you think you're going to ask her out on an actual date anytime soon?"

Kirk smiled brightly at the mention of Lulu's name, then looked distinctly uncomfortable as he processed Jess' questions. "I don't know. I want to ask her out, but I'm nervous. I really like her. But, what if she doesn't want to go out with me, and I mess everything up by asking her? I would hate to make her uncomfortable and scare her away from even wanting to be friends?"

"I think you should just go for it, Kirk. I'm pretty sure she likes you. When you guys met at Walmart, you were both making gooey, heart-eyes at each other, like crazy."

Kirk frowned. "We were not making gooey heart-eyes. I don't even know how to do that. Those were just my regular eyes. What if she was just being friendly because she's nice? She might not even like me."

"She also approached you at the party and spent the whole night talking to you. Just the two of you. Outside on the porch. Do you think that was just her being nice to someone she doesn't like?"

Kirk considered this. "She didn't go to school in Stars Hollow. I think I was the only person at the party she knew besides you and Jen. That's probably why she came up to me, because she didn't know anyone else."

"Lulu is the most outgoing person I know. She could have a conversation with a potted plant. She could have talked to anyone at that party if she had wanted to. Plus, she left the party with you and walked home with us."

"That's because she was worried about the cut on your face. It didn't have anything to do with me."

"She's a nice person, but she and I aren't that close. I'm pretty positive she wouldn't have ditched her cousin to tend to my wounds if she hadn't wanted to keep hanging around with you. And." Jess layered on extra emphasis. "She invited you to have dinner with her family. That's pretty big, Kirk. It's huge. Trust me on this."

"I don't know…...I'm not convinced she wants to be more than just friends. No girl ever has before."

"You should ask the girl out, Kirk." Luke cut in forcefully and instantly had both boys' attention. He already felt like he had let Kirk down about not realizing he needed counseling. He didn't want to let him down again, about this. Not when he had so much to offer on the topic. "I mean, I really think you should ask her out. It definitely sounds like she's interested. It felt like she was to me the night she came home from the party with you guys, with the way she was looking at you and how she told me what a hero you'd been tackling Dean. I think you have reasonable odds of getting a yes. But even more importantly, I don't want you to miss out on this opportunity, on this girl that you really like, because you're too scared to ask for what you want. I've spent my whole life doing that with women, Kirk, and I can tell you that it's not good. It won't get you anything but loneliness and regrets." Luke could feel the urgent emotion in his voice and he tried to tamp it down as he continued. "I think you should ask her out. I really do. Hope for a yes, but know that the worst you can get is a no. And if you do get a no, it will hurt, but you'll live through it, and there will be other girls to ask out. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that it's better to go after the girl you really like and get rejected than to never try at all and spend the rest of your life wondering what might have happened if you had. Not having the guts to even ask doesn't make for a very happy life, Kirk. You can take my word on that."

Kirk nodded solemnly, taking in Luke's advice. Jess was watching his uncle curiously. Luke suddenly felt overly warm. He was embarrassed by the earnestness of his delivery. He had wanted to give Kirk some sage, fatherly advice, not shine a spotlight on his own pathetic situation. He believed in what he had said, but the thoughtful look on his nephew's face was making him uncomfortable. He didn't want to know what the boy was thinking.

"That's very wise advice, Luke." Kirk's expression was serious and determined. "Thank you for that. And, you're right, I need to take this chance. I'm going to ask Lulu out!"

Luke nodded. He got up from the table and started carrying his plate into the kitchen to get away from Jess' prying gaze. He heard his nephew say to Kirk, "Oh, sure, you believe it when he says it."

Luke set his plate in the sink and turned to call over his shoulder. "And, Kirk, if you need advice on how to actually ask Lulu out, don't listen to Jess. Get a girl's perspective and ask Shane."

"Hey!" Jess responded. "Keep in mind that Shane said yes to me when I asked her out. So really, how wise does that make her? Let's all think about that, huh?"

"Point taken, nephew. Hey, I think I'm going to go for a walk. Would you guys mind cleaning up tonight?"

Luke watched the boys exchange a quick look before Jess responded. "Yeah, sure."

"We don't mind, Luke." Kirk said.

"Thanks." Luke patted Kirk on the shoulder as he passed the table on his way to the door. He knew they thought he was acting odd, but he just needed a little air. Fast. He wasn't sure if it was the magnitude of the decision he had made earlier when he closed on a house that was catching up with him or all the talk about missed opportunities, but he suddenly felt like he was about to lose it. "I'll be back in about an hour."

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The next morning, Jess was bussing tables after the breakfast rush. Now that he no longer had school, he had been helping out in the diner during the day whenever he couldn't pick up an extra shift at Walmart. He figured it wasn't worth formally switching up his schedule in the warehouse since the baby would be here in about a month and he would need his days free starting in September when Shane started college anyway. He carried his full bus tray over to the counter, keeping an eye on the only table of customers left, a family with one messy toddler sitting by the window, in case they needed something. He waited until Luke finished cashing out an older couple at the register before he approached his uncle. He wanted to check in with Luke after last night. The intensity of his behavior at dinner, followed by his urgent need to get out of the apartment for a walk that ended so late that Jess had fallen asleep before he returned, had the boy worried. It had all felt very un-Luke like. He wanted to make sure Luke was ok, but he didn't want to be weird about it, or make a big deal about it.

"So, how was your walk last night?" Jess started, trying to sound casual.

Luke looked up from the register drawer, where he had started idly counting through the cash they had taken in during breakfast. "Huh? Oh, uh, my walk. It was fine. I just needed some air. To get out and clear my head, you know."

"You got back pretty late."

Luke chuckled. "I wasn't aware I missed my curfew. I'll try not to do it again."

Jess smirked. "I'll let it go this once. Lucky for you, I'm in a generous mood."

Luke smiled. "Oh, you're too good to me, nephew."

"So, you're like ok, though, right? I mean, if there's something going on with you, or something…"

Luke leveled his gaze at Jess. "Yeah, Jess. I'm fine."

"You don't usually go for a long walk like that. At night. After working all day."

"You're right, but I needed it last night. I'm ok. You don't need to worry about me, Jess."

"You were kind of off at dinner, too…"

Luke frowned slightly. "Off?"

"Yeah, like you were super intense when you were giving Kirk advice on asking Lulu out." Jess hesitated. "Were you talking about Lorelai?"

"Lorelai?" Jess could tell that Luke was trying to evade the question, his eyes back on the cash in the drawer in front of him.

"Yeah, you know. Annoyingly chipper brunette. Coffee junkie. Mother to my ex-girlfriend. Object of your affection. That Lorelai."

"I know who she is, smart guy." Luke shot Jess a look out of the corner of his eye, wishing his nephew would stop staring at him like that, carefully observing him like he was a science experiment. "I'm just not sure why you're bringing her up."

"I was just wondering if she's who you were thinking about when you told Kirk that you missed your chance to ask out the person you were really into, thereby dooming yourself to a life of hopelessness and despair."

Luke looked up at that. "I really don't remember putting it quite like that."

"But, was she who you were talking about?"

"Let it go, Jess."

Jess sighed. "I'm just worried about you. You seemed really upset." He smirked. "Like maybe you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown and one step away from making a run for it, just buying a one-way bus ticket to anywhere but here." Jess put a hand on Luke's shoulder and feigned sincerity. "It's ok, Uncle Luke. I've been there. I can help."

"Well, let's see, nephew. I did briefly consider hopping a freight train last night with nothing but a little hobo bindle tied to the end of a stick and heading west, but then, oh yeah, I remembered that I'm not a drama queen like some people around here."

Jess barked out a laugh, then his expression grew serious. "But, really, you're ok?"

"Yes, I'm ok. Really. I appreciate your concern, but I'm good." Jess didn't look convinced. Luke sighed. "If I was acting weird last night, it's because yesterday was a weird day. I closed on the house. Which is a good thing, of course, but it got me thinking about my life…about how I always thought I'd be doing this with someone …like a partner. That's how I always expected my life to go. A wife. Kids. You know, the normal stuff. And, I guess it got me reflecting on the choices I've made, the things I didn't do…and it got me feeling a little down. I'm sorry if I worried you. I guess you can't get to my age and not have some regrets, but…I'm ok. Really."

Jess nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. "Ok, if you say so."

"I do. I also say you should go sweep up under that table where that family with the toddler was sitting. That kid made a serious mess. I can see all kinds of crap on the floor from here."

Jess looked toward the recently emptied table and nodded. "Ok, I'll get right on it." He headed toward the back, to empty his bus tray in the sink and grab the broom.

"Oh, hey, Jess, one more thing. Do you think you'd like to see someone to talk to, like Kirk is going to? A therapist, I mean?"

Jess looked confused. "Why are you asking me that?"

"I don't know. You have a lot going on with the baby coming. And your relationship with your mom…isn't good, right now. And I know your childhood wasn't easy. And, I don't know. I thought maybe it would help you to talk stuff through with a professional, too. And I just wanted you to know that if that's something you're interested in, you could do that. I'd pay for it and everything. Whatever you need."

Jess frowned. "I have you for that. To talk about stuff with. Right? Why would I need to talk to a therapist, too?"

"Of course, you have me. That wouldn't change. But, I don't know. I just thought maybe they'd be able to help you more than I do. To sort through some stuff from when you were a kid, or something"

"I really don't think that I'm going to have time, with two jobs and a new baby, to lie on some shrink's couch analyzing my childhood and blaming my lack of emotional availability on the trauma of being Liz's kid."

"I don't think it's like that."

"Being a kid was a shitty experience for me. But, I already know that. Gee, look at all that money I just saved you by not having my head up my ass!" Jess paused. "How do you know what it's like, anyway?"

Luke sighed. "I don't. I mean, I guess I don't really know what it's like because I've never been, but Nicole went and she said it was helpful. I think productive was the word she used. She got good stuff out of it."

"Wow, dating you drove Nicole to seek mental health counseling! Hmmm, that actually makes a lot of sense."

"Stop it. There's nothing wrong with going to therapy. And, she didn't go because of me. She went before I even knew her. She just told me about it once, about how much it helped her."

Jess laughed.

"Why is that funny, nephew? What, because if therapy had really helped Nicole, she wouldn't have ended up dating me? Is that what you're trying to say here?"

"Dense much, Luke? By telling you that she went to therapy, and how much it helped her with her issues, I'd bet anything that she was trying to drop a hint that maybe you should go to therapy and get help, too, for your issues." Jess saw Luke's puzzled expression and continued. "Like with being emotionally guarded and keeping people at a distance." Jess couldn't read Luke's expression and wasn't sure if he'd gone too far and offended him. "I get it. I do it, too. So, does Liz. I think it runs in the family…"

It had never occurred to Luke that Nicole might have been hinting that he needed therapy. But, it made sense. Nicole had brought up her own experience with therapy late in their relationship, when they were already running into issues regarding Luke's inability to fully let her into his life. Not being emotionally available, she had called it. Maybe Jess was on to something. Maybe instead of worrying solely about helping Jess, Luke should have been focused on fixing himself, all this time, too. Helping himself was so much harder than trying to help someone else. Luke felt tired at the mere idea of trying to identify and fix his own emotional and interpersonal problems. He wasn't sure how to face that. He sighed, and decided to start by being honest with his perceptive little shit of a nephew.

"I never thought of that, Jess. Maybe you're onto something. You've definitely given me something to think about. But, right now, we're not talking about me."

Jess put on an exaggerated thinking face as he responded. "We never seem to be. Gee, why is that?"

Luke ignored his nephew's sarcasm. "I just, I never even thought about grief counseling for Kirk, and it should have been obvious. That he needed that. He found his mom's body after her suicide. I mean, how could he not need therapy after that? And I just want to make sure I'm not missing something I should have been doing for you, too. I want you to have all the help you need. To deal with…anything you need to deal with."

"So far, you've helped me deal with 'anything I need to deal with' just fine. How about we don't fix what isn't broken? If I run into an issue that we can't handle on our own, like an out of control coke habit or a gambling addiction where I'm blowing through my paychecks betting on the ponies, then I'll start going to therapy. But, in the meantime, if I have to talk to anyone, I'd rather just talk to you. Ok?"

Luke nodded, accepting his nephew's position. "Ok, Jess. And of course, you can always talk to me, but just know that the offer is there, if you ever change your mind."

"Ok. Thanks." Jess paused. "Hey, you know you can talk to me, too, right? I mean, about your stuff. If you need to. I'm not a kid anymore, and I want to be here for you, too. If something's bothering you. Rory always used to tell me what excellent listening skills I had when we were together."

Luke smiled warmly at his nephew. "Is that right?"

"Ok, no, I made that up. But, it sounded less conceited than just telling you that I have excellent listening skills." Jess shrugged. "And she seemed like a credible source whose opinion you would trust. But, I am serious. I'm here for you if you need me. And you can trust me with your stuff. I'm not a kid that you have to take care of anymore. Everything between us doesn't always have to be about me and my stuff."

"Ok, Jess. Thank you. I appreciate that. If I need to talk, I know where to find you."

"Good, and oh, hey, speaking of me not being a kid anymore…you're going to treat me like more of an adult now that I'm having a baby and I'm no longer in school, right? I figured as much, but we've never really talked about it, so I wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

Luke gave Jess a puzzled look. "What do you mean? I feel like I treat you like an adult now."

"Seriously? Do you have rules for the other adults in your life? Do you change their orders in the diner because you don't think they should be eating red meat? Cause, I've got to say, I've never seen you do that to anyone else?"

Luke laughed. "Ok, no more overriding your food choices. You're an adult. You can eat whatever you want from now on."

"That's a start."

"Unless we're at home and I'm cooking. Then you're eating what I'm making, or you're on your own for dinner."

"Fair enough. What about other stuff, like having to tell you where I'm going and when I'll be home, that kind of thing?"

"I suppose you don't need to account for your whereabouts every minute of the day anymore." Luke paused, thinking about Jess skipping so much school to work at Walmart. He still wasn't completely over the boy lying to him about that. He mocked his nephew's sarcasm. "Gee, Jess, just think about all the time you'll save by not having to make up ridiculous lies to tell me about where you're going when you leave the house. You'll have so much free time, you won't know what to do with it." Jess' cocky expression faltered, and Luke felt some satisfaction at seeing a flash of embarrassment cross the boy's face. "But, I would like to have a general idea of what you're up to. And, if you, I don't know, leave the state or go away for a few days or something, I'd appreciate it if you let me know, so I don't worry. That kind of thing."

Jess nodded. "That sounds reasonable. And, maybe you don't need to always be on me about stuff? Like when I leave my crap lying around, or when I do something that you think is stupid. Stuff like that. I just really don't want you to treat me like a kid in front of my actual kid. I want him to see me as an adult, and respect me."

"If you don't want me on you when you do something stupid, you might want to consider not doing something stupid to begin with." Luke laughed at the scowl on Jess' face. "C'mon, Jess, I would never want to embarrass you in front of your kid. Have I really been that hard on you that you feel like we need to have this conversation? I can't even think of any other rules that we have. And, you do realize that you've only ever been punished once the entire time you've lived with me, and if you remember correctly, nephew, you grounded yourself that time?"

"I know. I'm not saying you've been hard on me or anything, because you definitely haven't. I've always appreciated that you've treated me kind of like an adult from the start. I just want to make sure we're on the same page about me being an actual full-fledged adult now, that just happens to be living in your house temporarily, and paying you rent, as opposed to a child that you're responsible for raising." Jess looked down for a beat before regaining eye contact. "I just really don't want to get yelled at or scolded like a child in front of my son. I don't think it would be good for him to see that."

"I get what you're saying. And, I agree with you." Luke paused, eyeing his nephew warily. "I can't say I'm not going to say something to you if I think you're doing something that you shouldn't be, or not doing something that you should be doing. That won't change no matter how old you get. But, if something does come up, I'll do my best to tone down the yelling and scolding, and speak to you like an adult about it. How's that sound?"

"It's something. Thank you."

"And, I don't think you need a curfew anymore or anything like that, but, I'm not going to stop worrying about you just because you're a 'full-fledged adult' now. So, maybe you can call if you're going to be out really late, or if you're going to sleep somewhere else. Just as a common courtesy. So, that I'm not up all night wondering if you're lying in a gutter somewhere."

"That's fair. Hey, that one goes both ways, right? I worry about you, too, you know."

Luke smiled. "Sure, nephew."

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"So, what do you think, Jess?" Luke watched his nephew closely for his reaction. Luke had closed the diner the previous day and he, Jess and Kirk had moved into the new house. After a full day of carrying boxes and furniture up and down stairs, loading and unloading the truck, unpacking at the new house and picking up the new bed that Luke had ordered for Kirk's room, Luke had been exhausted the following morning, his back aching as he made his way around the diner taking orders and delivering food. But, he had one more thing to move today. And, he was too excited to put it off any longer. As soon as the lunch rush was over, Luke had picked up Kirk at the house where he had spent the morning waiting for the cable guy, and driven over to Bud and Maisy's place to pick up the crib that he had built for Jess' baby. Jess had picked up a day shift at Walmart, so Luke and Kirk were able to move the crib into his bedroom undisturbed, rearranging the furniture a little to make it all fit. Luke had stood back, surveying his handiwork with satisfaction, and then thought of Kirk's blanket and asked if the boy wanted to lay it on the railing of the crib so that they could surprise Jess with both at once. That was the sight that had greeted Jess when he had arrived home from work that afternoon, the most beautiful gifts anyone had ever given him, along with Luke and Kirk, grinning like fools and yelling surprise.

"I love them, Luke. Both of them. The crib and the blanket are incredible. Thank you guys so much for these."

The grins got even bigger. "I'm glad you like them nephew."

Jess picked up an edge of the colorful knit blanket and held it between his thumb and forefinger. "This is so soft. The baby is going to love this, Kirk. I know how hard you worked and all the time you put into it and it means so much to me. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jess. It's not perfect. It has a few mistakes, but Shane says that's ok because it's the first thing I ever knitted."

"It's more than ok, Kirk. It's beautiful. The baby isn't going to care if it has mistakes. It's a great blanket." Jess turned hesitantly toward his uncle. "Luke, the crib is beautiful, too, so beautiful, but it's too much. It must have cost a fortune. We can totally make do with something a lot cheaper than this. Like something from Walmart or Ikea. I feel like me and this baby are already putting you out so much. I mean, you just bought this house so that we could have more room…I know we agreed you could buy the crib, but I didn't want you to do something this extravagant. Maybe we should return it and get something more basic."

Luke felt the inner glow of pride he always got when someone praised something he made. "Sorry, no can do, nephew. You're stuck with it. And don't worry about the cost. It wasn't as much as you think. I, uh, I made it myself."

"Are you serious? You built this?" Jess knew that Luke liked woodworking, but he had never seen anything the man had made, and he had pictured his uncle building simple, functional things, like bookcases and birdhouses, not something this intricately detailed and beautiful.

Luke nodded, amused by the shocked look on Jess' face.

"Oh, wow, Luke! It's amazing! Thank you so much. I love it even more now." Jess turned back toward the crib, taking a closer look and running his hand up and down over the beautifully carved side rails. "I can't believe you made this. It looks so professional. This is really impressive, Luke. Wait, how did you do this? Where did you put it together? When did you even have the time?"

"I used Bud's workshop. Had to keep sneaking over there during lulls at the diner and working on it little by little. Took a few half days off here and there and spent them in Bud's garage. I've had it done for a few weeks, but I had already started looking for a house, so I didn't think there was any point in dragging it over to the apartment, just to turn around and drag it over here. And, it seemed like a more dramatic reveal to wait until we moved in here, like this."

Jess kept looking at the crib. "This was definitely dramatic." He was touched by all the effort that Luke and Kirk had put into making special gifts for him and the baby and he knew he ran the risk of tearing up if he made eye contact with his uncle. "Are you still planning on setting up your own workshop in the garage here? To make stuff like this?"

"That's the plan. Once everything is settled in the house, I'll start putting together the workshop. I already have a bunch of ideas of things I want to make for the baby."

"Can you teach me to build something like this?" Jess laughed lightly. "Well, something at a beginner skill level. It's so cool that you made this. I want to learn how to do stuff like this. I want to be able to make something this cool for my kid someday."

Jess couldn't remember seeing Luke's face ever light up more than it did at his request. "I would love to teach you, Jess. I would absolutely love that. I can teach both of you, if you're interested in learning, too, Kirk."

"That sounds like fun, Luke, thanks." Kirk said. "And, I can teach you how to knit if you want me to, Luke. I think you'd find it quite relaxing."

Jess barely heard Luke laugh and respond to Kirk. He was lost in thought as he looked around his room, which had enough space for his own bed and dresser and the beautiful new crib he had just received. There was also a fourth bedroom that would serve as the baby's room when Jess was ready. But, since he wanted to keep the baby close to him at first, the baby's room would only hold furniture and accessories, like the changing table that he still needed to put together along with all the other baby stuff he had accumulated over the past few months, while the baby himself would stay in Jess' room. Now that he had space to organize everything neatly, he planned on buying a small kid's dresser to go in the baby's room and maybe a cute bookcase or toybox to organize the rest of the baby's things. Maybe one of those could be his first woodworking project. And maybe he would even buy a rocking chair. All the books he read had recommended having a rocking chair to help get the baby to sleep, but he had never seriously considered getting one since there was no space for it in the apartment. But, he could fit one here. He no longer felt stifled and drowning in stuff, his stuff, the overflow of Kirk's stuff, and the baby stuff, like he had in his small section of the apartment. This felt like a place where someone could actually raise a baby without losing their mind. This felt like a real home. Something sustainable, that wouldn't feel overwhelmingly small the instant the baby was born. It felt like the kind of place Jess wanted his baby to start his life in. The kind of home that Jess wanted the baby to have, even if only temporarily. And he felt a swell of gratitude for the man who had made this possible for him.

Jess turned back to Luke and Kirk, who were both watching him quietly. "Ok, Luke, now we really need to talk about rent."

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The following Friday evening found Luke and Jess standing behind the counter in the half empty diner, both trying not to be obvious as they kept sneaking looks at Kirk and Lulu.

"I still can't believe he brought her here for their first date. It seems like the most awkward choice he could have made." Jess said. He had only ever brought Rory to the diner a handful of times, mostly to save money after learning that he had a baby on the way. He had preferred to have their dates anywhere else, so that he didn't have to deal with Luke watching them the whole time and making him uncomfortable. Kirk apparently didn't have the same reservations.

Luke snuck another look at the teenagers as he responded. "I think he feels comfortable here. Being in a familiar place. Knowing we'd be around."

"Hmm, that's an interesting perspective. Knowing you'd be around is always what kept the diner off my list of places to take a date."

"Well, my friend, not everyone is as embarrassed of me as you are." Lulu looked up and briefly made eye contact with Luke from across the room. She smiled and then turned back to Kirk. "Oh, crap!" Luke whispered urgently as he quickly turned his back to the counter and looked at Jess. "I think she saw me looking at them! Quick, pretend you're talking to me!"

"I am talking to you, Luke. Jeez, stop spazzing! You'd think you were the one on your first date from the way you're acting!"

"Sorry. I'm just really nervous for Kirk. I'm so proud of him for asking her out, even though he was scared to do it. And I just really want it to go well for him, you know. He's such a good kid, and he likes her so much. I really want this to work out for him."

"I know. I do, too." Jess kept facing Luke, but he let his gaze wander over the man's shoulder to the dining room, without being obvious about it. "She's laughing." He said in a low voice. "Kirk said something that cracked her up. She just put her hand on his arm, and he's smiling his dopey cartoon character in love smile. It looks like it's going well."

"Good. That's good. Thanks for looking." Caesar yelled out for an order pickup from the kitchen. "Oh, that's theirs!" Luke started to walk over to the kitchen, but Jess quickly moved to block his path and put a hand on his uncle's chest to stop him.

"I'll take it. You're so nervous, Kirk's dinner would probably end up in his lap, and that wouldn't help anything. How about you stay here and try to calm down? Take some deep breaths or something, jeez."

Luke laughed. "Ok, you do it. Sorry, I didn't think I'd be this nervous. He's just really grown on me. I care about him so much more than I thought I would when he first came to stay with us, you know. He's such a sweet kid and he deserves so much more than he's had in his life. I really want to see something good happen for him."

Jess tucked two rolls of silverware into the front of his apron and picked up Kirk and Lulu's dinner orders. "I know what you mean. He's grown on me, too. I know I wasn't very gracious about it at first, but I have to admit, having him live with us wasn't exactly your worst idea."

Luke watched his nephew walk toward Kirk and Lulu's table with a warm heart, thinking not for the first time, how grateful he was that Jess was a sweet kid, too. Thoughtful and kind, when he easily could have turned out differently with the way his childhood had gone. Luke liked to think that maybe he had had something to do with bringing out that side of his nephew. Standing there watching Jess chatting easily with Kirk and Lulu as he delivered their food, all three smiling, Luke was happy. He knew he didn't have the things he had always wanted in his life, a partner and kids of his own, and he knew that with every year that passed it got more and more likely that he never would. But, in this moment he felt that what he did have might be enough.