Mustering up the energy to go to work after a morning like that really was all Akihiko could manage, and once he was there, he found himself waffling aimlessly, unable to focus on any of his paperwork. He glared down at the stack of papers and files on his desk, sliding a finger through a few before giving up and leaning back in his chair. He stared around the room, his leg bouncing in agitation. God, it was like he was in high school all over again, his mind torn between two central focuses. Except, the more he thought about it, the less that seemed to be true. Back at Gekkoukan, he'd always been able to balance work with his…extracurriculars. At the police department, though, there seemed to be no contest. The second he let his mind wander, it went crawling back to dark alleys and beyond to a small town he'd never even seen.

Akihiko tapped a pen against his desk and sighed. If he were honest with himself, he very rarely enjoyed coming into the job. He had always imagined police work as something that was almost made for him, but after being on the force for the better part of a year, he had learned otherwise. The thrills of interesting cases were wonderful highs, but they were brief blips on a landscape of tedium. Akihiko wasn't built for short sprints and long rests. He was an endurance trekker and worked best under constant stress, and though there was always work to do at the force, it wasn't the kind of mental stimulation that he needed.

That all being said, he knew he was lucky to be allowed what he had. The fact that he was allowed to act as an almost-official member of the police force in the first place was something of a miracle. It had very little to do with his proficiency, though he was not lacking, and a great deal to do with the fact that the officer that had interviewed him for his job had been none other than Kurosawa. Officer Kurosawa had taken one look at him as he sat on the other side of the table during their interview and smiled softly. "I know you've been saving people for a lot longer than your resume could capture," he'd said. "I'm not going to insist you go to the academy, though many would. Work under me for a year, and I'll see you on active duty."

It hadn't been a year yet, but Officer Kurosawa was always a man of his word. Akihiko had been given more than he ever could have dreamed, but a restless tick in his gut told him it would still never be enough.

He tapped his pen on the desk one more time, then stood, hastily grabbing a case file and moving away from his spot in the room towards Kurosawa's small office in front. He drew the brief stares of his coworkers, but few of them spared him more than a glance. Little rookie Sanada didn't deserve much attention from the force.

Akihiko rapped twice on Kurosawa's door, and didn't have to wait more than a couple seconds before he was called in. Kurosawa no longer manned the front desk, but he kept his old office, a tiny closet-like thing towards the front of the building. The stoic officer didn't seem to mind it, and he sat back in his shabby office chair looking for all the world like a decorated military general, stripes and all.

"What's the matter, Sanada?" Kurosawa said as he entered. Akihiko closed the door behind him with a soft click and took a seat in the office's only empty chair.

"You remember what happened two years ago, don't you?" Akihiko asked without preamble. Besides the brief mention of it in his interview, Kurosawa had never brought up their history together, and he felt the need to verify before making his point.

A shadow passed over Kurosawa's face as he muttered, "Yeah, I do. I still don't like what we made you kids do. It should have been the police's job."

"The police couldn't have done anything," Akihiko said, truthfully.

"Doesn't make it better. So, why bring this up now, Sanada? What's on your mind?"

Akihiko shifted then steeled himself. "Did you follow that murder case surrounding that politician, Taro Namatame, and his mistress a few months back?"

Kurosawa's face remained as blank as ever. "Yeah," he said flatly, "As I recall, they finally caught the murderer a month or so ago."

Akihiko leaned over his knees, crossing his arms across them. He let a light puff of air escape his lips before he looked back up at Kurosawa, gaze grim.

"I think we might have another case like the one two years ago on our hands - one that the police can't solve. I hear they're trying, but they aren't looking in the right places. Even if they were, they simply wouldn't have the potential."

Kurosawa's eyes hardened. "I thought that was over."

"It was…is…I don't know. I haven't been to the town yet to investigate, but I'd like to."

"Is that why you're here, then? You want permission to investigate this case in Inaba?"

Akihiko sighed. "If you can't make this official, I understand. I'm not even a real officer yet, and I'm sure there are a ton of inter-force politics that we'd have to circumvent, but I plan on sticking my nose into this whether I'm a member of the police system or not. I just thought, after your role in everything last time, that you deserved to know…and that maybe you could help."

"I can apply you for a transfer," Kurosawa said with a frown, "but that wouldn't afford you the freedom that you'd need. You'd have to work under their schedule on their cases, and you'd be at the absolute bottom of the heap."

"There's no way that I could go as a visiting officer or as outside help? They have a young detective helping them with the case, already."

Kurosawa looked up. "Who got sent out there? Kirihara?"

"Nah. Shirogane."

Kurosawa coughed and muttered something that sounded like, "Damn kids."

"So, anyways, is there anything you can do?"

"I'll look into it," Kurosawa said at last. "I might be able to make something up, but I need to ask you something. If I can't come up with a convincing story covering you going there, what will you do?"

"I'll quit," Akihiko said quietly.

"Just like that?"

Akihiko looked back at Kurosawa and bared his teeth in what he hoped looked like a smile. "This is just something I've got to do. You understand."

"Hell, you know I do," Kurosawa said, closing his eyes. "Now, get out. I'll make something work."

"Thank you," Akihiko said honestly and left the room, leaving his file on the murders in Inaba on Kurosawa's desk.

Akihiko momentarily considered returning to his desk and trying to work before he disregarded the option completely. He simply was not going to be productive, and wasting a day twiddling his thumbs seemed ridiculous. Instead, he grabbed his suit jacket, fixed his tie and left through the front room into the main body of the mall.

He stared dazedly out at Paulownia's familiar facades, the sound of running water and chattering people washing through his senses, before he shook himself. Damn, he needed some sort of focus and discipline. Without it, he was just…

Souji. He was going to call that brat and demand answers. Feeling clear headed and determined, he marched over to the benches surrounding the central fountain and pulled out his smart-phone.

Akihiko grit his teeth as the phone rang, absently flicking his knee with his free hand as he waited for Souji to pick up.

'Hello, you've reached Souji Seta's phone. I'm sorry I missed your call…' the playback message began, and Akihiko's jaw clenched.

He waited for the message to play out, and when he heard the beep sound, he said, "Hey, it's Akihiko. Souji, listen, I don't know if you're actually in trouble or just mad that I went and investigated your case, but if you aren't injured or something, I'd like you to at least let me know. Not knowing is making me think the worst, and if shadows got you…listen, we need to talk. I've been thinking about everything lately - about, you know, that stuff that happened a couple of years back and the like - and I've decided that I want in. I'm tired of playing the jaded old mentor. I wasn't the leader of my group, and I wouldn't, uh, try to usurp you or any of that shit, but this wouldn't be my first rodeo and I really think that I could help. If nothing else, I could handle the police. Anyway, call me back or pick up the phone next time I call you. I'll try to sort some stuff out on my end. I hope you're okay."

After a pause, he hung up, staring at the phone in frustration.

"Well that sounded idiotic," he said, grumbling. He continued to glare at his phone, and, after a few seconds, he breathed a long-suffering sigh and selected a new number.

The phone rang once before it was picked up.

"That you, Akihiko? Damn, it's been a while. I'd almost thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Hey, Junpei," Akihiko said, and he hoped his voice sounded happy.

"Hey yourself. So, what's the occasion?"

"I was, uh, wondering if I could stop by sometime today or later this week."

A long pause buzzed across the line. "Dude, don't try to fulfill your community service through me. I'm not going to be your way to wrack up karma points."

"That's not…" Akihiko sighed. "That isn't what I meant. I just thought I might bring lunch over or something and we could…hang."

Junpei laughed, more a sad giggle than anything as it echoed hollowly through the phone. "Yeah, you know what? Fine. I'd love to hang, Akihiko. I miss our bro-ings on."

"Oh," said Akihiko, deflating a little. "Good. So, what, five o'clock then?"

"Just show up sometime," Junpei said wistfully. "I'll be here."

"Yeah. Ok. See you then."

"Bye, dude."

Akihiko hung up with a weary sigh, pocketing his phone and staring around the mall once more.

A couple hours later found Akihiko standing awkwardly outside the door to Junpei's dingy, first story apartment, a bag filled with two orders of takeout ramen dangling from his wrist. Oh, he didn't want to do this. He really, really didn't want to talk to Junpei. The ex-members of SEES had made it something of a duty to keep their old teammate company, but what with the girls going off to university and Akihiko's reluctance to get involved, the job usually fell on Mitsuru and Ken. Akihiko felt genuine guilt for keeping his distance, but being with Iori these days set his teeth on edge.

Regardless, he'd come too far to back out. Huffing a deep, reluctant breath, Akihiko tapped once on the door and was surprised when it gave. The door was slightly ajar, and he hesitated for a moment before pushing inside.

Junpei's father had died the year before, and the ratty apartment was one of the only legacies he'd left his son. The smell of stale alcohol still filled the house, but besides that and the dusty cloth smell, the apartment was at least sanitary and livable. Akihiko recalled that Mitsuru had hired a maid service for the place, and he silently thanked her as he moved inside.

"Hey, Junpei," he called, slipping off his shoes and moving into the dim main hallway. "Your front door was open."

"Oh, was it? I hadn't noticed. I sometimes leave it open for Koromaru so that he can come and go. He must be out. Come on into the living room."

Akihiko padded down the shaggy carpet and into the apartment's little living area. Junpei was curled up in an overstuffed armchair on the far side of the room, a DS clutched carelessly in one hand. Akihiko plastered a weak smile on his face and slunk across the room to sit on the couch.

"Hey," Akihiko said, quietly.

"Hey yourself," Junpei said, grinning back and unfurling in his chair. "I'm not even going to ask you what prompted this visit. Mitsuru, right?"

"I told you, it wasn't like that."

Junpei grunted, but he didn't seem to be upset. He gestured towards the bags, "Man, what spoils have you brought me?"

Akihiko rifled through his bag, pulling out a plastic container and a sealed bowl full of broth. "I hope the special's alright."

"The special's always alright," he said, taking the two containers and reaching out to accept the pair of chopsticks Akihiko passed him. "So," Junpei began as he assembled his food, "how's work and all that jazz?"

Akihiko sighed. "I, uh, think I might be quitting. Maybe."

"Dude, what happened? I thought that being a police officer was, like, your thing."

"I thought so too," Akihiko said with a shrug, "and I'm not saying I'm quitting today or anything like that. It's just, sometimes, I feel so…"

"Unmotivated?"

Akihiko glanced up into a far too knowing look and turned away, feeling sick. "Yeah, yeah, exactly," he said in a muted grumble.

"I hear you. You ever," Junpei began before his eyes seemed to glaze. He looked away from Akihiko to some fixed point above his shoulder. "What…no…he wouldn't…god, will you just…" he muttered, his blank eyes darting before they settled back on Akihiko and the fogs cleared. "This might sound strange, but you ever feel like you're only half living?"

It was moments like those that made Akihiko dread spending time with Junpei. Mitsuru called them episodes and said there was some method to dealing with them, and when they were calm like this, Akihiko could cope. He just ignored the weirdness and paid attention to whatever Junpei said on the fringe, but sometimes Junpei got angry or chaotic, and Akihiko had no idea how to communicate with his old friend.

In this case, the answer was clear. He nodded, trying not to look spooked and said, "Yeah, sometimes I do feel like I'm only half there."

Junpei seemed to take great delight in his answer. "I know, man! You get it. Sometimes I feel like I left something behind back then. I wish I could visit the Dark Hour one last time and go find it," he said, and there was no irony behind his tone.

Akihko clenched his fist until it shook. For want of something to do with his hands, he broke his chopsticks open and began to pick at his ramen.

"But then there were things that got left behind, weren't there," Junpei said, conversationally.

Akihiko flinched and continued to stare at his noodles. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Yeah you do, bro. I'm talking about people. The only difference between us is that you got left behind. Me, well, I took my girl with me, for better or for worse."

"I didn't get left behind, Junpei."

"Yeah, you did," Junpei said, and his eyes were somehow colder in the light of his bright smile. "First Shinjiro and then our furious leader. Dude, you clung to both of them like you needed them to breath or something. Hell, the first time I saw you with leader-man, it was like seeing a different person. You lit up around him. Yuka-tan and I used to joke that, if one of you was a chick, you two would totally have been bangin'. Well, maybe I used to joke. I don't think Yukari found it all that funny."

Akihiko grit his teeth, grinding them in frustration. "You don't…" he began.

"Don't tell me what I don't know," Junpei said in a flat tone, his eyes still steely. "I'm not as lost as you think I am. I just," he breathed, and the biting chill behind his eyes seemed to melt. "It's just that, sometimes, I wish she wasn't with me, bro. Sometimes, I think getting left behind is the better deal."

"There was nothing between me and…me and him, Junpei," Akihiko said.

"You're kind of missing the point here. I'm saying that - damn, maybe you won't get this - but there are ghost that don't leave. You ever think about your Persona?"

Akihiko felt the phantom of the surge of power that had burned across his skin in the alley, and he jerked his head in acknowledgment. Nowadays, he thought of Caesar all the time.

"Trismegistus is always there, you know? Even now that the drive is gone and whatever made him emerge in the first place is nothing but…empty, I guess…he's still there. I wonder what Personas are. Where do they come from?"

"I don't know," Akihiko said, but a voice that sounded like Souji's whispered something about 'meeting one's shadow'. "I don't know," he repeated, because that didn't make any sense.

"I just wish I could start over," Junpei said with a strangely happy smile. "Wish I could go back to empty and maybe fill it with something that fits. Ah, hell, I'm not making sense."

"Yeah you are," Akihiko said, the nauseous feeling back in his stomach. "I understand."

A smile curled its way across Junpei's face as he said, "I'm sorry you feel like me, but I'm glad of the company. Thanks, man."

Akihiko nodded absently and turned to eat his noodles in silence.

The rest of their meeting passed without incident or any more upsettingly deep conversation. Akihiko inquired about what game Junpei was currently playing and carefully avoided topics like work or school or anything else that could be construed as meaningful, and an hour slipped by without comment. As the afternoon began to wane towards evening, Akihiko packed up and left, nodding his goodbye to Junpei and feeling like he might actually have done some good. He made his way out of the first story apartment, leaving the door slightly cracked so that Koromaru would have a way in when he returned.

Akihiko trotted over to his car, climbing into its chilly interior, and adjusting his scarf as he waited for the heater to start warming the air. He sat there, draped over the steering wheel for a few moments before the buzzing of his phone brought him back to full awareness. He pulled out the device and smiled as he saw the name flashing on the screen.

It was about damn time.

"Souji? Thank god," Akihiko said after pressing answer. "I hadn't heard from you since you hung up the other day, and I was starting to worry."

Souji didn't respond, and Akihiko frowned. He could hear quick, almost panicked breaths from the other side of the line, so he knew someone was there, but whoever it was didn't seem to be in the mood to talk.

"Souji?" Akihiko said, wariness coating his words.

"Akihiko," a smooth, if hesitant, voice responded, and Akihiko thought his heart might stop. He knew that voice. He'd only ever met two people with voices as flat and silky as the one that had just said his name, but there was no way either of those people could be calling him. He had no control over his own voice, however, and a name had rolled off his tongue before his brain had even had time to think it.

"Minato," he whispered, and then froze. He hadn't said that name in years.

"No," the voice said, and Akihiko could have kicked himself for the relief that washed through him. "It's…It's me," the voice continued, and suddenly Akihiko knew who he was talking to. He started to hang up before the name was even uttered, but as he sat with his now silent phone, the name rang loud and clear.

Ryoji. Ryoji had just called him with Souji's phone.

Shit.

Shit.

Akihiko felt his phone slipping from his hands and quickly scrambled to regain a steady hold on it. His heart, which had stilled during his brief conversation with Ryoji, began to thud hard in his chest.

Holy shit.

It was all he could think. No possible actions or reactions made themselves apparent, so he settled on panic.

Ryoji. On Souji's phone. The list of potential explanations that Akihiko began to generate in his mind seemed to stretch infinitely, and after only a few seconds, he shut his wild imagination down. That wasn't helping. He needed to…there had to be some logical explanation…

The phone was ringing again. Akihiko stared down wide-eyed at the screen where Souji's name flashed merrily, but he knew it wasn't Souji on the other end. Unless…maybe he'd heard wrong. Maybe he was making the whole thing up, and if he answered, he'd have nothing scarier to face than a very perplexed Souji. Akihiko continued to stare at the screen through its third chime and, in a fit of impulse, pressed 'accept call' and put it to his ear.

"Akihiko, stay on the line," said Ryoji's voice from the other side, and Akihiko quickly pulled the phone away, ending the call and tossing the device into his passenger's seat. He sat still for a moment, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. He gripped the steering wheel tightly with one hand.

A ringing sound buzzed from the left side of the car, and with a snarl born of frustration and confusion, Akihiko turned on the radio, blasted the heat and shifted into drive, taking off towards his apartment. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't, but, he thought with a rough laugh, that had never been his job.

He waited for the phone to ring out, then reached blindly for it, entering a number without looking away from the road and placing the phone between his shoulder and ear as he waited for an answer.

"This is Kirijo talking. How may I help you?"

"Mitsuru, you said you wanted to continue our conversation, right? Leave wherever you are. I don't care what you're doing. You need to get home now."