A/N: such a lovely story, right? well you can forget that! time to get back to the drama! this is a short chapter but pretty intense as my friends put it! for all of you that said you were enjoying all the sappiness and love and etc PLEASE dont kill me over the next few chapters...my creative mind was BEGGING me to write this... enjoy and R&R please
Chapter 14
"That's a mouthful, isn't it?" Danny joked about Aurora's name.
"Yeah, I know. Jo's family has this thing for two first names so that's where the Aurora Sophia came from. Evelyn, I don't know; when we were picking names she came up with that and refused to take it off the list. I guess it's someone important to her." Mac shrugged as he shuffled some papers on his desk.
"Why both your last names, though? Jo and Ellie didn't keep Danville when you two got married."
"Actually she did; Ellie's the only one that took my surname. Jo and Tyler kept Danville. Jo wants Aurora to have both surnames so 'she knows when she's in trouble.' If anyone ever saw all our names they'd be utterly confused." Mac smirked and tossed a file into a drawer.
"Whoa, wait; so it's McKenna Boyd Taylor the second, Josephine Marie Danville Taylor, Tyler Danville, Elizabeth 'Ellie' Taylor, and Aurora Sophia Evelyn Danville Taylor?" Danny took a deep breath, emphasizing the long list of names.
"Yeah…now that's a mouthful." Mac opened his drawer again and pulled out the file he'd just tossed into it. He crashed into his chair and rubbed his temples.
"Hey, you good?" Danny asked in his usual stance with his arms crossed over his chest and feet spread apart.
Mac sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Um, yeah…I'm fine."
"You sure; is this about Jo or Aurora?" Danny sat in the chair in front of Mac's desk.
"I wouldn't know where to begin, Danny." Mac leaned back against his chair and raked his hand through his hair.
"Well, you wanna tell me what's going on with Jo first? I haven't seen her since Aurora was born and that was six months ago! I thought she'd be itching to be back by now." Danny leaned forward in his chair, listening intently to Mac.
"That's the problem; she is." Mac breathed heavily again. "We never actually planned on when she would come back to work or who would take care of the baby. I mean it was easy with Ellie; she was okay by herself and Tyler was usually there to take care of her. Now, Tyler's abroad and Ellie can't stay home with Aurora by herself. Jo looks so tired and stressed out but I don't know what to do. She just pushes me away when I try to…"
"Try to what?" Danny leaned in closer.
"Try to help but Jo doesn't call it that. She says I'm just getting in the way." Mac rolled his eyes, irritated from just the thought. "Danny, she complains about being tired and not being able to work then when I want to help she says she's fine! Is it just me or does that not make any sense?" Danny simply nodded his head as Mac continued to spill. "I'm just exhausted…I knew-we knew- this would be hard but…damn. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it."
Danny leaned back in his chair. "I don't even know what to say to that." He rubbed his temple along with Mac. "I guess the best you can do is work through it. And by work through it I don't mean completely avoid Jo by coming here at all hours of the night."
Mac smirked lightly. "I get you. We'll just have to wait and see what happens."
.
.
.
Jo's bloodshot eyes shot open at the sound of Aurora's cries down the hall. Jo reluctantly rolled off the couch and groggily teetered down the hall. She pushed open the door to the nursery and lifted Aurora into her arms. Aurora's shrieking echoed right into Jo's ears as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"Shhhhh, mommy's here." She rubbed Aurora's back gently, trying to soothe her. The cries continued and Jo moved her position in her arms. There was silence for just a second before Aurora continued with her scream fest. Jo sighed and rocked her gently. "Shhhhh…shhhhh…"
Aurora continued to holler waving her little fists in the air. Jo checked her diaper and tried to give her a bottle of milk but Aurora refused. Her lungs were as strong as a lion's; she just wouldn't stop. Jo crashed on the couch, still holding Aurora in her arms. Feeling a migraine creeping up on her Jo laid her head against the edge of the couch. Light tears brimmed her eyes and she wished she could wipe them away. Why is this so hard? Why do I feel like I'm at the end of my rope?
Jo was at the end of her rope. She hardly got any sleep with Aurora waking her up every hour, on the hour. Aurora always seemed to be bawling or screaming and Jo just couldn't get her to stop, yet all Mac had to do was look at her and she smiled. It was cute at first but after six months of never-ending, ear-piercing cries and no sleep, it was just infuriating. She hated herself for feeling angry at Mac over it. She wanted him to be around; she needed him, but he wasn't there. He was in the one place Jo desperately wanted to be; work.
When Jo looked down at Aurora, she was fast asleep again. Knowing the baby wouldn't be out for long Jo placed her in her bassinette in the living room and lay back on the couch. Her mind was racing with so many thoughts it wouldn't let her grasp even the slightest of her much needed sleep. Jo felt like she was going to fall over the deep end. She couldn't take it anymore; taking care of Aurora was becoming too much. It was never this hard to take care of Ellie, who was the offspring of a drug addict, nor Tyler, who Jo had to care for with broken bones and a bruised face for three years of his life. Aurora was different; Jo felt like all the torture and horror she'd gone through with Ellie and Tyler was wrapped into one giant stress ball and being thrown at her all over again.
Tears streamed down her face and Jo wiped at them quickly. She was so tired; tired of caring for Aurora, tired of being a mom, tired of being stressed out, tired of just being so damn tired all the time. Jo didn't even feel in her right mind anymore. She was scared to death to be left alone with Aurora; scared of what she would do if one day she just lost it. It felt like that day; the day she would completely lose her mind and just-
"Jo? Honey, I'm back." Mac interrupted her thoughts as he entered the condo. He was finally home from work.
Jo swiped the last few tears from her eyes and leaned over the side of the couch. "Hey, how was work?" She couldn't hide the crack in her voice.
Mac dropped their dinner on the table and ran over to her on the couch. "Hey, what's wrong?" He then noticed her red, puffy eyes and tear lines on her cheeks. "Have you been crying?"
"No, I'm fine; I'm just tired." She said as she shook her head, wishing the obvious signs to disappear.
Looking deeply into her caramel eyes, Mac held her chin. "I know you're lying. Talk to me, Jo. What's the matter?"
When her eyes started to water again, she pushed Mac away and slid off the couch. "I can't take this anymore!" She said as loud as she could, without disturbing Aurora. "I'm stuck at home…all day…" Jo stopped between sobs, trying to catch her breath. She was starting to hyperventilate and all Mac could do was watch her. "Aurora never stops crying or screaming and when she finally falls asleep, she wakes up ten minutes later!" Jo began pacing around the room, gripping her head. "I haven't gotten sleep in weeks because of it and my head feels like a bomb exploded inside!" She gripped her head as the drums pounded against her skull. "I don't want to do this anymore, Mac."
Mac finally rose from the couch, slight anger and confusion rising in him. "Jo, I think you just need to take a breath and calm-"
"Don't tell me to calm down! You don't know what it's like Mac! To be stuck in the same place every day, all the time; hearing the same piercing screams from your child and not being able to do anything about it; to have this feeling that a rock is bouncing around in your head! I…I can't take it!" Jo finally stopped and stared at Mac, searching for something, anything to tell her it was okay.
Mac's face was blanker than a sheet of paper. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what he just heard. All he could think was she was blaming him for this; whatever this was. "Jo, I'm sorry but I tried to help you! You keep pushing me away!"
Jo's fury increased. "I did not Mac and you know it! You pushed me away! You just leave every day and go to work! Everything is about your life now and how you want things to be! What about my life; my job; what happened to all that?" The words spilling from Jo's mouth were no longer being processed in the heat of the moment. She didn't even know what she was saying; she just knew she was angry and she just wanted someone to listen. She needed someone to assure her.
"What are you talking about? Believe it or not this isn't what I wanted, Jo! I do want you to be happy but I can't just leave my job to take care of a baby!"
"So now you're saying your job is more important than mine?"
"I'm the boss, Jo! So, yes, my job is more important than yours!" He meant 'no'; he meant 'I'm sorry'; he meant 'we can fix this'; but instead he let his temper get the best of him.
Jo stared astonished at him. "How dare you! My job is just as important as yours! You just want me to stay home and take care of the kids and be inferior to you! I knew this would happen!" Feeling the migraine intensify, Jo gripped her forehead.
"You knew? This is about Russ isn't it? Just because you couldn't trust Russ doesn't mean you can't trust me! This is all about your damn security and trust issues. It always comes back to that! If you didn't really love me then why did we even get married?" Mac knew somewhere deep in his mind it was a low blow but he could care less at the moment. He felt like he wasn't good enough for her anymore, like he was betrayed.
Jo just stared wide-eyed at him. No matter what problems they faced in their marriage she had never once compared him to Russ. Now he had given her reason to. "You bastard…" She said simply. She brushed past the bassinette to storm into her room. It shook slightly which woke up Aurora. The baby didn't waste a second before she was off in her squalling marathon.
Mac was blown away by the power of Aurora's lungs and he accidentally thought out loud, "Now look what you've done!"
Jo felt a sharp twinge run up her spine and she turned sharply on her heel. "SHUT UP; JUST SHUT UP!" Her eyes were full of so many emotions they seemed to be turning black.
The couple glared at each other, their stares seeming to deafen the noise around them. Mac finally relented and grabbed his jacket. "Fine." He marched out the door and slammed it behind him, leaving Jo in total silence.
A/N: o.O anybody else scared? i swear i frightened myself after writing this... anyway i'll understand if you hate me for what happens in chapter 15... it's coming soon! R&R please