Chapter Thirteen

Katniss walked back to her house, almost in a trance. She felt almost . . . shell shocked. Like the news Johanna had just given was something she had been dreading ever since Willow had been left on her doorstep. Which was ludicrous. This was the sort of news she had been waiting for since the beginning. So why did she feel so sick?

As soon as she entered the house, she was met with Willow's giggles and Peeta's laughs. It made her stomach churn. She shuffled into the kitchen. Peeta had pinned Willow's drawing to the fridge and Willow was pointing at it and laughing. She grabbed another crayon and went speeding off into the living room again, practically soaring in her little walkie.

"Did I have any cherries?" Peeta asked. The way he was smiling made Katniss want to turn around and run away. She didn't know how to break this to him. He did say that he wanted to find Willow's family too. However, Katniss never believed that he wouldn't find it hard. And after everything that had been going on over the past few days this wasn't the sort of news that he needed.

Katniss wordlessly handed over the cherries. She could see Peeta's confusion at her silence. His frown was small but she spotted it. She looked away from him, her eyes falling onto the chocolate mixture in the mixing bowl. It looked so tempting, even in its sloppy form. Maybe it was just because she hadn't had chocolate in what felt like years. It had hardly been a priority but now that she was faced by it, she felt the overwhelming urge to stick her face in it and eat it all before it was even cooked properly.

"Johanna called," Katniss said, her eyes locked on the bowl of chocolate.

"She did?" asked Peeta. "What did she say?"

"She was asking about you," Katniss muttered.

Peeta opened the cherries but left them on the counter. He put both hands on the islet and stared at Katniss. She felt his eyes on her even when she wasn't looking at him. "There's something wrong," Peeta stated.

"Is there?" Katniss asked.

"You look distressed," Peeta said.

"I do?" Katniss replied.

Peeta closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Katniss frowned, breaking her gaze from the bowl to stare at him. When he exhaled and opened his eyes again, he said, "Please don't be vague like that. If there's something wrong you need to tell me so I can help you."

"How do you know there's anything wrong?" Katniss challenged.

"Because I know you," Peeta answered. "And you're upset. What happened?" Katniss walked around the islet and hugged Peeta. She didn't know why she wanted to do this but the action came so naturally to her that it felt like second nature. "Now I definitely know there's something wrong."

"We're idiots," Katniss muttered into his chest.

"Tell me something I don't know," Peeta weakly replied. His arms came around Katniss and held her securely, worry beginning to set in for him.

"Willow's mother is still in the District," Katniss said.

There was a pause that felt like it stretched for a thousand years after she said this. Katniss listened to Peeta's breathing, to his heart which was fluttering like a butterfly inside of him. She was worried about how he was going to react. Would he be upset? Broken hearted? Devastated? She didn't want Peeta to be sad. She wouldn't be able to take it.

"Do we know where to find her?" Peeta asked.

Katniss couldn't detect what he was feeling from his voice. "No," she said.

"I see," said Peeta. "At least we know what we can do for Willow now. Our search distance isn't as large anymore."

"I suppose," Katniss murmured despondently. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," Peeta replied, rubbing Katniss' back comfortingly. "Finding Willow's family is a priority. We just need to figure out where we can start looking . . ."

Katniss frowned. She pulled back to look him in the eyes. "You aren't upset or anything?" she implored, confused by Peeta's obvious indifference.

"I'm a little sad that we'll have to give Willow back. However, it's better to do what's right than to try to satisfy yourself," Peeta said. "Besides, I'm not going to hand her over just like that. I want to be sure that her mother is going to look after her. She left Willow on her doorstep once, she could easily do it again. Maybe she doesn't even want Willow back at all. Her note made that pretty clear."

Katniss never thought of that. "Do you think she won't take her back from us?" she asked.

Peeta shrugged. They broke apart from their hug. "It's a possibility," he said.

Katniss didn't know how she felt about that. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that Willow's mother might reject her? She was confused by the different emotions she was feeling towards the baby that she had once been terrified of. She didn't want to think about it. Not when she had been having such a happy morning.

Katniss shook herself off and stepped back from Peeta. "So, Black Forest Gateau, huh?" she said.

Peeta grinned. "Yeah," he said, grabbing the packet of cherries again. "Hopefully you'll love it."

Katniss watched Peeta bake the cake for the rest of the morning. They chatted about unimportant things, occasionally teased each other and had small disputes about things they disagreed on. One of them ending with Katniss flicking flour into Peeta's face. It stayed there for the rest of the morning, stuck in his hair and eyebrows. It was a good look for him.

"Can you make something with cinnamon in it?" Katniss asked. "Next time, I mean."

Peeta was crouched in front of the oven, putting the cake bases inside. She could see his reflection when he shut the oven door. He was frowning, slightly perplexed. "Sure, I guess," he said. "Why?"

"I just like cinnamon," Katniss shrugged, sheepishly picking at her clothes.

"I could make cinnamon rolls, if you like," Peeta answered.

Katniss chuckled. "You're a cinnamon roll," she joked.

Peeta laughed. When he tried to stand up from his crouched position, his leg gave out from underneath him and he fell back down. "Peeta!" Katniss yelped, practically leaping over the islet to reach him on the other side. "Are you okay?"

"It's fine," Peeta replied, grabbing the top of the islet and using the leverage to pull himself to his feet. Katniss' arms were outstretched in front of her in case he fell again. "My bad leg has just been playing up, that's all."

"Maybe you should take the prosthetic off for a bit," said Katniss. "Do you have to do that? Let the air around the . . . end . . . or something?"

Peeta shook his head. "I'm fine. It's fine."

"At least sit down," Katniss insisted, taking his arm and walking him to the living room. "You still aren't completely recovered anyways." As Peeta reluctantly sat down on the sofa, Katniss frowned. "Didn't you have a stick? I remember you having a stick when you first got the prosthetic fitted. Maybe you need it again. Do you still have it?"

"Probably somewhere," Peeta muttered, not liking the sound of that idea at all. Katniss knew from day one that he hated being treated like an invalid. It didn't help that now he was being treated even more so like that because of his hijacking issues. He ditched the cane as soon as he could and never used it since. Katniss had thought it was because he had gotten the hang of walking but she began to wonder if it was for different reasons . . .

"I'll call Doctor Aurelius, see if he knows anything that would help," Katniss decided.

"Don't!" Peeta blurted out.

Katniss raised her eyebrows at him, surprised by his outburst.

"Sorry," Peeta quickly said. "I just know what he'll say."

"And that is . . . ?"

Peeta looked at his leg in disgust. "Take it off," he muttered.

"Oh okay. Then we'll do that then," said Katniss, taking a step back towards the sofa.

"Katniss," Peeta said, alarming her with how firm his voice was, "don't you dare come any closer."

Katniss froze. She instantly knew what was up. "But it's me," she said. "Surely you know I would never . . . You can trust me to do this for you."

When she saw how distressed this topic was clearing making Peeta, she came to an ultimatum. She knew that to prove to Peeta that he could trust her to do something so personal and intimate for him, she'd have to prove that she trusted him to do the same thing for her. She turned around and went up the stairs, going to the bathroom and grabbing the ointment that Aurelius sent to her for her burns.

Heart pounding so hard Katniss could hear it in her ears, she rejoined Peeta on the sofa and sat down beside him. "Here," she said, handing him the jar.

"What is this?" asked Peeta.

"My burn ointment," Katniss answered. Taking a shaky breath, she turned around and pulled her shirt up, revealing the withered skin beneath. The damage that the flames had done to her body was irreversible but Aurelius' treatment helped her keep a handle on it. "I've never been able to put it on my back because I can't reach it. You can do it for me."

"Katniss, you don't have to do this just to prove"-

"I'm showing you how much I trust you," Katniss said firmly, thankful that her voice wasn't shaking the way her body was. She was trembling with fear, having never let anyone see what her burned body looked like until now.

She heard the lid of the jar snap open and she closed her eyes. It was okay. It was Peeta. Peeta was loving and kind and gentle. He would never judge her or hurt her or think badly of her because of how her body looked.

The ointment always felt cool against her skin. This time, however, when the cold ointment touched the broken skin on her back, her blood heated up. Beneath the thin film of the ointment, she could feel Peeta's calloused fingers carefully brushing her skin. She exhaled with relief, never having felt the touch of the miracle cream against her damaged back.

"Does it hurt?" Peeta asked quietly.

"No," Katniss answered. "Not as much as it used to, anyway. Sometimes it gets irritated or my skin rips open and bleeds but it's easily fixed with the treatment Aurelius sent me. It doesn't heal me completely but it takes away the pain."

When her back was treated, Katniss let her shirt fall down again. The material of the shirt stuck to her back due to the glue-like quality of the ointment. She took Peeta's hands in hers and held them tightly. "Do you see? You can help me as much as you want. As long as you let me help you."

"Katniss, you have no idea how happy to makes me to see the progress that you have made," Peeta said, holding her hands tight as well. "But you are beautiful and you will remain beautiful forever. Even with your burns you're the most amazing girl I have ever seen in my entire life. Me? I'm only half the man I used to be and even then I wasn't all that great."

"Stop it," Katniss snapped. "You're the most beautiful man I have ever met in my entire life! Screw everything that's happened. You are not half of anything! You are full. Just because you lost your leg and are a little but unwell doesn't mean you aren't any more of a man you were before shit hit the fan. The only person letting it hold you back is you!"

"I'm a shell of a person, Katniss. Everyone knows it. That's why I'm not allowed to work. That's why I haven't been in town since we went there with Willow. Because I know that people think I'm crazy," Peeta insists. "And maybe they're right."

"You aren't crazy," Katniss said. Fuelled by desperation, she lurched forward and sealed their lips together in a kiss. She immediately regretted it. She felt stupid and tried to back down. Except, when she broke away, Peeta touched her face-like he did on the beach-and drew her back.

Katniss wondered why she had ever been conflicted. Peeta was the one. He would always be the one. He had been there for her since the very beginning, before they even so much as knew each other's names, and was still with her now when everyone else (except for Haymitch) had vanished. The kiss, as miniature as it was, sparked hope inside of Katniss that things could get better. That as long as they were together then nothing else mattered.

Katniss laid her hand on Peeta's knee. They broke apart and she looked at him searchingly, her heart beating so hard it left her breathless. "Trust me?" she asked.

Peeta's blue eyes made Katniss' stomach flip with how they sparkled with worry. "Always," he said.

Katniss slithered off the sofa and sitting on the coffee table. "You are fine," she said firmly.

Ironically, Katniss had never seen Peeta's prosthetic properly. She had felt it against her leg when they shared a bed before the Quarter Quell but that was as far as Peeta had ever let it go. He wasn't the sort of person to be embarrassed or sheepish but every strong person had a chink in their armour.

"Is there a strap or a release button or does it just pop off?" Katniss frowned as she watched Peeta roll up his pants leg for her. It was actually quite basic, for something that came from the Capitol. Made of complete metal, with a small joint connecting the ankle to the foot and a black band around the upper rim that seemed to be made of a soft material.

"There's a strap and a button but I'll get it," said Peeta, his fingers trembling a little. Katniss understood this. She had been the exact same when she had pulled her shirt up for him to see her burns.

"I can do it if you want," Katniss offered.

"No, no, it's just a bit . . ." Peeta swallowed. "High up."

Katniss' mouth dropped open a little. "Oh," she said dumbly.

Peeta pressed a button at the top of the prosthetic and pulled open a strap. When it released, Katniss knew he couldn't hide the relief he felt even if he tried. It was written all over his face. Katniss helped him pull it away. It looked kind of odd, sitting beside their coffee table without anyone connected it to.

Peeta was eyeing the prosthetic up like it was a snake in his path. "One of Portia's helpers-Hilda-wanted to cover it in 3D stickers and a feather boa instead of the black band," he said.

Katniss snorted. "How did that conversation go?"

"Portia told her to stop being so ridiculous," Peeta smiled.

Katniss kept looking at either Peeta's prosthetic or his face. She didn't want to look at his stump in case it came off as rude or it made him insecure. She changed the subject to something else. "About that kiss . . ." she began.

"You don't have to say anything. It was an emotional moment, I understand," Peeta said.

Katniss shook her head. "No," she said. "I meant it."

"Katniss, you don't have to say that just to save me"-

"I meant it," Katniss insisted, her voice commanding attention. "You're so important to me. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to catch up, I've been slow. Held back by stupid things. I should have brought you into my life sooner after we got back. But I was scared. Of myself more than anything else."

Peeta looked like he desperately wanted to believe her. She saw that look on the beach, when she told him that she needed him. He desperately wanted to believe her but was afraid to bring himself to do so out of fear of being hurt again.

"There are no cameras now," Katniss said. "You can believe me."

"I don't know if I can have this conversation right now," Peeta replied.

Katniss grimaced. That nauseous feeling from earlier returning in abundance. "Why?" she squeaked.

Peeta pushed his fingers through his hair and shook his head. "I can't explain it right now but I just . . . I'm not ready." Katniss watched helplessly as he dragged his prosthetic back to himself and strapped himself back in. "I should check the cake bases."

There was a knock on the door and Peeta detoured to open it. Katniss followed him, fiddling with the end of her braid. She felt so stupid for saying the things that she did to him. She should have just kept her mouth shut. Every time she opened herself up, she always got hurt.

"Look Peeta, I'm sorry about what I"-she began as she followed him.

"It doesn't matter, really," Peeta said as he answered the door.

A woman stood on the doorstep, her pale face weathered with worry lines. Her eyes widened in confusion. "Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was Haymitch Abernathy's house," she said.

"Oh, that's fine. He lives next door," Peeta said, hiding any trace of their previous conversation from his face.

The woman nodded. She turned to leave, paused and turned back around. "Was a . . . baby left here?" she asked.

Katniss frowned and peered over Peeta's shoulder at the woman. "Maybe. Why?" she asked defensively.

"I thought . . . I thought this was Haymitch's house, that's why I . . ." The woman rubbed her hand over her face tiredly and exhaled. "I'm his granddaughter. I came to the District after the rebellion because I had nowhere else to go. I panicked and I . . . I . . . left her here thinking it was his house."

The woman looked from Katniss to Peeta desperately. "I'm Willow's mother."

A/N: I'm sorry guys, I didn't have time to proof read this or anything. Hence why it's been published so early because I'm really busy later on.

I hope the end of this chapter made it worth it though! :)