The Past That Haunts Me
A flash of green light, her father' body falling on the ground with shallow wide-opened eyes, her mother hugging her tightly while the explosion blast wave was sweeping them far away, a building collapsing, screams of trapped people, cries of help, pieces of glass flowing over their heads, black cloaked men with silvery masks waving wooden sticks and laughing aloud… laughter….laughter….
Cecile woke up gasping as usual since the first night of few months ago when those terrible memories had come to torture her sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, pictures of her father's last moments of life flashed randomly inside her mind, showing his happy smile and his glassy eyes one after another. Refusing to stay in her bed, she went down to the Common Room where a wooden pendulum clock, placed in between the outnumbered bookcases covering the walls, told her it was hardly six in the morning. She left the room and wandered aimlessly around the empty corridors of Hogwarts until she found herself in front of the staircase which lead to the infamous Astronomy Tower, where the previous Headmaster had faced his death by Severus' very hand. She did waver for a few seconds, but then she climbed it up to reach the top of the school highest tower from which the entire landscape surrounding Hogwarts could be seen.
On the horizon the first rays of sunshine peeped out and, shining on the calm clear freshwater lake, lighted up the Hogwarts grounds slightly and the first line of oak trees which marked off the entrance to the Forbidden Forest. It was so quiet, so relaxing. She jolted when she felt a tip on her shoulder.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" said the boy quickly, putting his hands ahead on the defensive.
He was tall, surely few years above her, with green eyes and chestnut hair. She could see the not-so-faint scar on his chin. He already wore his school uniform and Cecile took a look at its emblem, a badger on a golden background. She glanced at him suspiciously. She had never noticed him before and now they were completely alone over an out-of-the-way tower.
The boy gave her a warm, heartfelt smile and stretching his hand he introduced himself. "I'm Alan, nice to meet you."
She regarded him a little more, and then she smiled back and introduced herself too. She had woken up so soon and was in such a cheerless mood that she was glad he was there to take her mind off. She found out why her new friend kept coming up here. Apparently he lived in a mountain area and when he was little he used to walk around the woods surrounding his house with his father every morning, while the sun was slowly rising. "Since my father had gone I've came up here early to see the sunrise. It's my personal way to remember him," he said, telling her about the illness his father had to endure for a long time and that had taken his life away five years before. Cecile could emphasize with him very well as she was no more, no less than an orphan herself.
He turned out to be in his third year in Hufflepuff House and, more importantly, he apparently wasn't aware of her connection with Severus (Cecile didn't even notice she started to call his father by his first name) and she was happy to not have to answer questions about him.
They met up around six o'clock on the Astronomy Tower the morning after, the following day and the one ahead too until it became a daily routine. They talked about their every-day life, about their interests and hobbies, about school and lessons even if the topics "Potions" and "Snape" seemed somewhat bashed from their conversations. Cecile was always looking forward to their next encounter. During them, she could finally forget her nightmares and the moments of uncomfortable silence lingering between her and Severus. Emily had asked many times what was troubling her and Cecile had been smart enough to lead astray their conversation to other matters and misguide her to think her sad mood was due to scholastic problems.
Not that she didn't have problems with Charms, anyway. She put so much effort in it but in spite of all, it seemed that her wand simply ignored her orders.
It was terribly frustrating and after having discussed the matter with Alan, who was pretty good at it instead, they decided it was better to practice after classes. They agreed to meet around seven in the afternoon too, when the lessons in the Astronomy Tower hadn't begun yet. She realized how patient Alan was with her. He explained carefully each charm, spelling slowly the formulas and showing her the corrected movements with his wand. Sometimes he stood behind her, moving her own hands to make it more clear.
Cecile's attitude was very different from his calm, composed approach during the practice. She spoke non-stop, complaining about being a total failure in everything. She was mainly put off by the lack of results notwithstanding the repetitions and her hard work.
"You don't have to give up, I'm sure next time it will be better," Alan always said with his kind smile and his reassuring look. "Let's continue tomorrow, always here at seven," he said and waving his hand he scurried down to the dungeons for his last hour of Potions. Cecile, once alone, burst into crying.
"I'm not her father."
Those words hurt her more than her failures in Charms.
Emily and Severus were taking a slow walk along the lake shore, when Emily stopped abruptly touching her belly.
"Are you in pain? I'll carry you to Poppy immediately," he said worriedly.
Emily laughed, shaking her head. There was no reason to worry so much, the abortion threat was completely warded off and still there would be a whole month until the delivery. What made her stop in her tracks had been a kick of her child. She laughed again when she felt another one. Today he or she was surely restless, she thought with love.
"Here, find out for yourself how lively your child is," she said putting his great hand on her oversized abdomen, waiting for awhile when another kick came around. "He can't be quiet today," she said smiling before noticing her lover's face, a single tear rolling along his edgy features to break up on the angle of his mouth.
With a muffled laugh, Emily deposited a kiss where that tear had gone, tasting its salty flavor mixed up with his.
"We are going to become parents again, isn't it wonderful?" she said sweetly, resuming their walk, without knowing that Cecile from above the Astronomy Tower was watching them with a tightened heart, tears in her eyes and an overwhelming feeling called jealousy twisting her insides. Because she was not and she would never and ever be flesh of their flesh, blood of their blood.
"I'm not her father."
She wanted to think no more.
Alone in a gloomy cell, her mother held her hand tightly. The other people who had been captured like them, had been taken away hours before and had never came back. It was cold and Cecile hugged her mother, trying to warm herself up.
"Don't be afraid honey, my dreams are telling me everything would be fine," she told her reassuringly.
Claire Bennet, Cecile's biological mother, was a seer from which the child had inherited the gift. Generally the magical community finds Muggleborns by events of wandless magic that children are often used to perform without control. But Claire couldn't be located because all her magical power was focused on future predictions and nobody ever told her that she was a witch with a truly rare gift. When she was a child her parents had locked her up in a psychiatric hospital where she kept dreaming events that punctually took place. One of the hospital attendants, a boy some year older than her, liked very much that beautiful girl with silky blonde hair who didn't seem to fit at all among all those insane people. As the only young, sane people inside the hospital, they became close to each other, until they fell in love almost without noticing. John Klee had never asked why she was locked up in there. "I can see the future," he heard her answer. "Tomorrow you are planning to go fishing, don't go."
John was stunned the day after, when the television news announced the unexpected arrival of a violent hurricane which had caused the death of a few fishermen. The following day Claire ran away with John hidden beneath the undercarriage full of cleansing products, finally free and being able to live her own life. Years of confinement had taught her what talking about her powers meant and she decided to always keep silent about it.
Nevertheless, some years before Cecile birth she dreamed of a man with snake-like features and silver-masked people gathered around him. When Cecile started drawing, Claire realized her daughter had inherited the same gift. Then Claire began to dream her child near a curly blonde-haired woman and a man with long black hair. She didn't know what it meant until that day, when black-cloaked men with silver masks appeared from nowhere destroying everything.
"You will see honey, it will be all right. Someone will save us," she repeated.
Claire knew she would soon face her death as her dreams kept showing flashes of green light, the same one that had killed her husband. But thanks to her dreams she knew that at least her child will survive and will have another family. That though alone allowed her to keep going on.
"Please kill me but spare my daughter, she has no faults, I beg you…"
Cecile woke up abruptly again, rays of sunshine already peeking out from the windows of her dormitory. So she had overslept and missed the dawn. Would Alan still be up there? She dressed quickly and run madly towards the Astronomy Tower. She wanted to be with Alan, she needed to hear his calm voice and feel his reassuring presence. When she arrived to the top, he was there welcoming her with his usual warm smile. "I thought that you wouldn't come anymore," he said. Then she threw herself to him and began crying uncontrollably. She could stand no more dreaming about her real parents' last moments of life.
"I'm not her father."
She cried even more.
A/N: Hi there! The last chapter is almost ready, it will be up soon. Thank you very much to WhiteGray who betaread this too!