A/N: Sorry it has taken me ages to get this out to you. I have been meaning to write it for a while but time has gotten away from me. I appreciate all the likes, follows and comments. Please feel free to review. Enjoy!

I was drowning. My grief and despair consume me. Nothing and no one else existed within my pain—just me and my debilitating pain.

Even if I had wanted to move I wouldn't have been able to; I couldn't move from the fetal position I had curled myself into the floor. With that one phone call my world crashed in on me and I couldn't function. I thought that Peter's abrupt departure crushed me; Lydia's disappearance was so much worse—it ripped out my very soul. Hell, my heart was gone without her, she had held it tightly in her little hands.

I could hear Roman saying something, it sounded urgent, but it was muffled and in the distance. Maybe I really was drowning; it certainly sounded like I was hearing him from underwater. Hands gripped my face tightly; I couldn't focus on the person who was directly in front of me through my tears.

"Come on, Wren! Stay with me, please Wren look at me. Baby come back to me." - Roman. His voice was finally clear and all encompassing

I was suddenly being moved from my position on the floor and engulfed in what felt like arms. Was I being hugged to a body?

"Wren, please don't leave me. Our daughter needs you. I need you. Please don't give up on us." Roman whispered into my ear.

His words rang true in the tiny piece of my heart that remained. I let out a loud moan and realized I had been holding my breath. I gripped Roman's shirt tightly as I sobbed into him; I cried so hard that my abdomen hurt.

"Ro…" I tried to say through my sobs, but still couldn't control myself. There was no way this pain could be reigned in.

"Shh," he smoothed down my hair. "Shh." Roman kissed the top of my head.

I managed to take a deep breath and all I could smell was Roman. Caramel and sunshine. He smelled of home, of love. What was love when you didn't have a heart left to share?

"Here give her this. It will help calm her down." Destiny's voice said quietly.

Roman shifted from beneath me. "Wren, please drink this." He held a glass to my lips. I took a sip of the warm liquid but turned my head away. Roman gently turned my bad back to the cup and made me drink the remaining content. It tasted like nothing. It was just warm, and it filled my body; replacing my pain with heat and heaviness. I felt like a was melting into a gooey puddle.

"What…" Was all I managed to mumble before blackness filled my eyes and I was over taken by the darkness.

It was dark in the room when I roused from my dreamless, drug induced sleep. I sat up slowly and looked around the room, we were still at Destiny's apartment. Roman was asleep awkwardly in one of the chairs. Panic was settling in my chest again; the room was closing in on me. I needed to get out but knowing Roman would lose his mind if I left the apartment I opted for the patio. I grabbed my phone off the table where someone had placed it and put it into my hooded sweatshirt pocket. I slipped quietly out onto the deck; the cool air felt good on my bare skin. I let it fill my lungs and loosened the tightness in my chest.

Fuck, what was I going to do? I ran my hands over my face. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry but most of all I wanted to kill whoever took my daughter. They would pay! I sat down on one of the mismatched patio chairs and closed my eyes in frustration.

"I feel so fucking helpless." I muttered to myself, wondering if saying it out loud would help me feel better. "What did I do to deserve this? Losing once in my life was hard enough but twice? Really?"

"Nothing." Peter answered.

My eyes popped open and looked in the direction I had heard his voice. I had been so caught up in everything I was despair that I had not even noticed Peter. He was slumped down in a chair in the corner out of the light. He had a cigarette burning in his fingers.

"How do you know that? You've been gone, you no longer know who I am. It's been six fucking years Peter. I am not the same girl you knew." I snapped and then let out a deep sigh. My frustration over everything that had happened was coming out and I hadn't meant to take it out on him. "Listen, I am sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out so harshly."

Peter blew smoke out of his mouth and nose before answering me. "It's fine. It's true. I left, and you have every right to be upset." He sounded so defeated. "But if there is one thing I know Wren is that you do not deserve anything bad that happens to you."

Tears fell down my face. "That's sweet of you to say but I am sure I do." I leaned back against my chair again and sat in silence.

"Wren?" Peter was the one to finally break the silence between us. "I am here now, so if there is anything I can do to help you and Roman find your daughter, just let me know.

My heart ached to tell Peter the truth about Lydia, but it was not the right time. Plus, I knew I needed to talk to Roman about it; he was in all intents and purposes her dad. He had been there since day one, hell before day one.

Lydia, my sweet angel. I could only pray that she was safe and not being harmed. I knew in my heart she didn't just wander off, she would never do that.

"Thank you, Peter. That means a lot to me and I am sure that Roman will appreciate as well." I sniffled as I wiped tears from eyes and face.

Peter snorted. "While you were sleeping off Destiny's concoction Roman let me know how much he appreciated me being back." He leaned forward into the light and for the first time I noticed his split lip and black eye which was nearly swollen shut.

I jumped up from my chair and made my way over to him without even thinking about it. "Oh my god, are you okay?" I asked as I knelt and gently touched his face.

Heat and electricity filled me; I swallowed hard and quickly pulled my hand away from Peter's face. He caught my retreating hand in his and held it tightly with in his. His blue eyes searched my face as well as they could in the dim light. Peter's expression gave away nothing. I could no longer read him like an open book.

"I am sorry I left you with no explanation Wren. I never meant to hurt you; I just wanted to protect you. Believe me when I say, there hasn't been a day that has gone by without you in my thoughts and my regret eating at me deeply. I am truly sorry." Tears fell freely from Peter's eyes and down his face. He made no attempt to wipe them away. "I'm glad you found happiness with Roman." His words were sincere.

The wall I had built up over the years to protect myself from Peter began to crumble, scratch that it was demolished. For the first time in ages I allowed myself to forget the pain of my loss and remember how much love I had once had for him and how it felt to be loved by him. If it hadn't been for the rawness of Lydia's disappearance, that love would have filled me with warmth but instead it just eased my chill in soul.

I was about to respond to Peter, but cell phone began to vibrate in my hooded sweatshirt pocket. I stood as I pulled it out and looked at it, shattering the moment Peter and I were having.

DAD

"Daddy?!" I answered hoping he had some positive news for me.

"Hello sweetheart. I wanted to call and let you know that the police would like you and Roman to come to New York as soon as possible." It was the first time in my life I thought I heard a hint of despair in my father's ever positive voice.

I frowned. "Alright. I will wake Roman up and we will leave as soon as we can get a few things together. Have the police gotten any leads?"

"Nothing that they have told us. I have a few of my P.I. friends on it as well. The detective who is overseeing the case is one of the best, sweetheart." My dad did his best to give me a glimmer of hope. "Hey, Wren do you know where Peter was this afternoon?"

How could he even consider that Peter would have anything to do with Lydia's disappearance. It upset me that he even thought that.

"Yes, and it wasn't him." I said with edge in my voice. "Listen, Dad. I need to go and get Roman up if you want us to get to New York. I will see you when we get there." I hung up before my dad could accuse Peter anymore. I turned to Peter, who had question burning in his eyes. "Roman and I have to head to New York. I think you and Destiny should come with. And before you say Roman will not be happy about it…he will just have to live with it."

I knew that Peter and Destiny might come in handy at some point even if it was only to prove that Peter had nothing to do with Lydia's disappearance.

"Wren, I told you that if you needed anything that I would be here. I meant it. I will go wake Destiny up." Peter stood and lightly touched my arm as he passed me. I followed him into the apartment and made my way to the old chair where Roman was asleep.

I sat on the arm of the chair, "Roman?" I touched his shoulder and gently shook him. He shot up quickly and started at me blankly for a moment.

"What?! Lydia?" He asked his voice thick with sleep.

I shook my head sadly. "No news. The NYPD want us to head to my parents' place. I told my dad we would head out tonight. Let's go home and get some things together."

As Roman stood am empty vodka bottle tumbled to the floor next to him. "I'll drive." I said as he stumbled into me.

"Good idea." Roman muttered as he handed me the keys to his SUV.

Just as we got to the door Peter made his way out of Destiny's room. I stopped before walking out and turned to him. "We will swing back and pick you guys up on the way out of town." Peter nodded as I pushed a drunk Roman out of the apartment.

I was grateful that Roman didn't question what I said until we got into the SUV. "What was that shit about?" He asked in a low voice as he glared over at me.

"Excuse me?" I responded knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"Why the fuck are we picking up Peter and Destiny?" Roman growled. "I don't want him near you or our daughter."

I sighed. I knew it was the liquor talking and I wouldn't get anywhere with Roman until he had some resemblance of soberness. But it didn't stop me from trying. "Are you serious Roman?" I barked back, trying to focus on the drive back to our house. "Just because you put a fucking ring on my finger does not mean you own me. I will be around who ever I want to. And Peter has every right to be near Lydia. She is his daughter too. I want them to know each other Roman, you know that. You knew that getting into this with me. Lydia will be so lucky to have to dads in her life who love her." I exhaled deeply. "He needs to come because my dad is questioning where he was today. It will be proof he had nothing to do with Lydia."

"Whatever." Roman snorted as he stared out the window.

Well I guess that his answer was better than his normal arguing, especially if he got something set in his mind. He was a stubborn bastard, but that was one of the many reasons I loved Roman.

I pulled the SUV into our driveway and dread hit me hard in the gut. Our home once warm home looked so cold and empty. I didn't want to go in with the knowledge I had now.

"Roman?" I whispered his voice and grabbed his hand. He looked over at me, his green eyes were so sad, so defeated. "Please don't leave me alone in there. It hurts too much." Tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

"Never." Roman placed my hand to his lips. "I love you, Wren."

"I love you, Roman. Thank you for taking care of me tonight." He pushed away his fear and his pain to take care of me. That is how he had always been with me. Roman had always put me first. I didn't deserve him.

"Anything for you, Wren. I would do anything." Roman mumbled as he released my hand and got out of the vehicle

We made our trip home as quick as possible. I don't think either of is wanted to be home longer than we needed to be. I had tried to avoid Lydia's room but caught Roman standing in the doorway. Tears were falling freely from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and held him. He turned to face me and wept into my shoulder. My rock; my strong, protective Roman was cracking. I held him as sobbed so hard his body racked against mine. It was my turn to be his rock, even if seeing Roman this way destroyed me. One of us needed to be strong, otherwise we would fall apart. We would completely shatter.

The drive to New York seemed to take ten times longer than it normally did. By the time we arrived at my parents' house, my foot felt like lead. I noticed my mom sitting on the front porch swing with something that looked like a stuffed animal hugged against her chest as I got out of the SUV. My mom looked so broken, it broke my heart even more. She looked up as we made our way towards her. Her blue eyes were wet with tears; she stood quickly and made her way towards me.

"I am so sorry, Arenda." She bawled into me.

I couldn't stop the tears from making a reappearance. "Mom, it isn't your fault. We don't blame you. I would never blame you or Daddy." I tried to reassure her. She was already beating herself up enough, because she would have died to keep Lydia safe.

My mom wiped her eyes as she pulled away from me. Her gaze swept the people standing behind me, her eyes landed on Peter. She glanced over at me with questions burning across her face. I shook my head, to tell her not now.

"I wish I could welcome you under better circumstances, but please come in and make yourselves at home." My mom opened the door to my childhood home. "I will go let your dad know your guys are here."

I dropped my bag by the door and made my way into the living room. The others followed my cue or at least I thought they did. Honestly, I didn't pay any attention to them because I was drawn to a photo that was on the fireplace mantle. It was a picture of my family- Roman, Lydia and me. We had, had the picture taken just a month prior.

"That was such a good day." Roman's arms wrapped around my body. We both stood there in silence and looked at the smiling faces in the photo.

I sniffled, trying to hold back the flood that threated. "What if…" I started.

"Don't. Don't you dare." Roman snapped. His words were sharp, and they cut deep within my wounded soul.

"But.." I turned into him and allowed my tears to escape. Roman held me tightly against him as if I would fall apart if he let me go.

"But nothing. We will find her. She is okay I can feel it." Roman whispered into my ear.

"She is going to get any sort of dog she wants when we get her back." I sniffled. Truth be told, I would let her get the biggest dog she wanted. Something that would keep her safe.

The police had showed up and left with in a matter of hours. I felt like I was shoved into a whirlwind and couldn't keep up with the barrage of questions that were being thrown at us. Where were you when your daughter disappeared? Do you have any one who would want to hurt you? Would Lydia just wander off on her own? Is it true that Roman is not Lydia's biological father? Do you think he would hurt her? Do you feel safe in your relationship with Mr. Godfrey? Do you think that Lydia's biological father would take her? Does she have a relationship with him? Why are you not with him anymore? They went on and on, accusing no one and everyone. I was so happy when the investigators left. They said that they wanted us to go down to the precinct later the following day, so we could watch footage from the security footage from the zoo.

I was exhausted by the time they left but couldn't find it in myself to go to bed, even though Roman went to bed. I was sure that he took one of Dr Pryce's "magic" pills. One of those pills would have been great but I couldn't; what if Lydia walked up to the door and couldn't get in because everyone was sleeping? I prayed to every god that I knew to keep my daughter safe.

Since sleep was eluding me I sat on the couch with a cup of tea. My mom had pulled out all her albums with photos of Lydia in them. I picked up the first one dated the oldest on the outside. These photos were some I hadn't seen before, mainly from Lydia's birth. In most of the photos I was beaming with happiness however there was one that my eyes were drawn to, it was a photo of me staring down at the tiny baby in my arms and there was sadness oozing from me. I remembered exactly what I was thinking at that moment. I wish Peter was here. I hurt as I thought about that memory.

"You make a beautiful mom. Not that I ever doubted you would." Peter sat down on the couch next to me and looked over at the photo album.

"Thank you." I murmured. We sat in silence and looked through the rest of the album together.

I had talked to Roman after the speaking with the investigators and we had decided it would be best if I told Peter the truth about Lydia's parentage. The police already knew more than he did, and it wasn't fair to him. Shit, I was surprised that they didn't ask to speak to him.

I swallowed hard as I closed the photo album, I watched as his eyes read the front of the book. "Peter." I choked out his name. "There is something I need to tell you." Oh, fuck this was going to be hard. I thought as his blue eyes met mine. "Roman isn't Lydia's biological father." I managed to get out before butterflies erupted madly in my stomach.

A frown crossed Peter's face as he processed my words. "What do you mean Wren?" I think it was sinking in, but he needed me to tell him, he needed to hear the words from my mouth.

I took a moment and tried to formulate how I was going to tell him. "I found I was pregnant a few weeks after you left. I chalked up my missed period due to stress, but it wasn't. You thought you took everything with you when you left but you didn't. Peter, Lydia is your daughter."

Peter stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language. "But…" He started, however he did not continue. He looked up at the photo on the mantle as if it was finally hitting him.

"She has your eyes. Actually, I think she looks a lot like you and Lynda." I told him. "Peter, if I had a way to tell you I would have but I couldn't. I had no way. I mean would knowing I was pregnant have changed the fact that you left?"

"You didn't burn…" Peter's voice was nearly inaudible. "He said you would burn if you had my child, if we stayed together I would cause you to burn."

"I did burn Peter, a hot deep fire burned inside of me when you walked away from me. I almost took my own life and inadvertently, Lydia's. Roman stopped me. He calmed the pain and the fire. I came out the other end stronger for it, except for one day a year. I allowed that pain and fire to consume me again. Whoever, he was wanted you to leave me, he wanted me to burn and feel the pain. And he obviously wanted us to never have a child together for some reason." I managed to tell him before panic struck me. What if they found out that Lydia was Peter's daughter and they took her because of that reason.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Wren. I should have been strong for you and Lydia. I will do everything in my power to bring our daughter back to you safely." Peter took my hand into his. "I can not walk away from you ever again."

Hearing Peter say our daughter for the first time was so bitter sweet. Now we had to find out what happened to her and find her.

Another A/N: Just so you all know I still have no clue who Wren is going to end up with. When I started this story I had a clear path of who Wren was going to be with now, it is all skewed because I just love the dynamics of Wren/Roman and still love the Peter/Wren relationship.. Ugh!