Chapter 14: Pascal's Message; Cheria's Doubts

If it ever stopped snowing in the Fendelian capital of Zavhert, Cheria had never seen it. In fact, the thought of the city without its distinctive white blanket was almost impossible for her to imagine. It was also difficult for her to imagine the temperature rising above freezing and as the icy winds cut through her cloak, she was suddenly grateful for Lhant's relatively mild winters.

"I'd forgotten how cold it can get here," Cheria commented, a shiver running down her spine.

"Yes, winters are especially brutal," Malik agreed. "Though things have become much more tolerable since Pascal's heating system was installed."

"I'm glad for the people here," Cheria answered. "I couldn't imagine trying to brave this cold without a source of heat."

"Has it been while since your last visit to Fendel? As I recall you used to visit quite often with your relief network."

"Yes," Cheria agreed. "I mostly manage the relief network from Lhant now, so it's been quite some time since I was in Fendel myself."

"Do you miss the opportunity to travel?" Malik asked.

"Sometimes, but I would miss Asbel and Sophie more if I was always away from home," she explained. "So really, I don't mind."

"It must be nice, to be comfortably settled in with the people you love."

"Yes," Cheria agreed. "Speaking of which, you really ought to come visit Lhant more often. It's been ages since you last came by."

"You'll have to forgive me, my work has kept me quite busy."

"Oh don't be silly. Richard tells me you're in Barona all the time; Lhant isn't that much further to go, is it? Even if it's just for a bit. Sophie is always saying how much she misses your stories."

"Well then, we can't leave Sophie disappointed, can we?" Malik laughed. "After all I still have so much left to teach her."

"Well lessons or not," Cheria began hesitantly trying to hide that the last thing she needed was him convincing Sophie that crabs grew on underwater trees like apples again. "I hope you know you're always welcome."

"Thank you, Cheria," Malik replied.

"Ah there you are," a third voice came from behind the pair standing in Zavhert's main square.

"It's good to see you again, Poisson!" Cheria exclaimed turning to meet the girl behind her. Cheria almost needed to step back; the person she found was not the young girl she was expecting. The future overseer had hit a growth spurt since they'd last met and though she was still shorter than Cheria herself, it wasn't by much. Her distinctive white hair was still bound behind her, but her face had lost its childish features, replaced instead by those of an adolescent bordering on adulthood.

"Likewise," Poisson replied with a small bow. "It has been some time since you've paid us a visit at the Enclave, really you ought to come more often."

"Once all this is settled, I think we might just have to," Cheria answered.

"Yes, Pascal filled me in on the details, I'm very sorry to hear about Asbel's condition."

"Were you able to bring what Pascal asked?" Malik inquired.

"Of course," she replied, handing Malik a small pack. Flipping the top open, he removed a small device identical to the one Pascal had shown them back at the manor.

"Thank you." Malik replaced the device in the bag. "If I may ask, what are the other parts in the bottom?"

"Pascal also requested that I send those back with you. She will need them to synthesize the antidote from the eleth you gather."

"Now, to get to Forbrannir," Malik commented, placing the bag over his shoulder. "Which could be the tricky part. Security's been tight lately."

"I have to apologize, we tried, but it was just too short notice to procure the proper paperwork for the two of you to access the Valkines," Poisson stated. "However, this ought to suffice."

The young amarcian handed Cheria a small keycard. Examining it closer, Cheria managed to make out Pascal's name beneath the wear and tear that covered the document. "Is this…Pascal's pass?"

"Correct. Given her work, she's one of the few individuals with ongoing access to the Valkines," Poisson provided.

"That will be fine," Malik commented. "After all, we're just heading down there to gather some of Pascal's equipment, right?"

"Yes, of course," Poisson replied with a small giggle.

"So we're back to sneaking around again," Cheria realized with an exasperated sigh. She should have expected as much when the Captain said it would be no problem.

"Oh come now, it isn't that bad, is it?" Malik posed.

"If it's to save Asbel, I don't care what it takes," Cheria replied. "But we'd best get there before its too late for our story to sound reasonable."

"Oh before you go," Poisson interjected. "I have one last message for you from Pascal."

"What is it?" Cheria inquired, curious what their friend had forgotten to tell them before leaving.

"I just received it on the communicator a few minutes ago," Poisson explained, pulling out the device in question and handing it to Malik.

"Tell them to watch out for familiar faces," Malik read, unable to keep the confusion from his tone as he returned the communicator to its owner.

"Watch out for familiar faces?" Cheria asked confusedly. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not sure," Poisson confessed. "I asked her to clarify, but she hasn't replied."

"Really Pascal, of all times to be cryptic…" Cheria shook her head.

"Well, her and Hubert did have the shuttle, they may have reached the Valkines already. It could very well be a warning about the guardian."

"That's true, Pascal wanted to be back first so she could begin preparing the antidote while the rest of us gathered the remaining eleth."

"Let's hurry, but proceed with caution," Malik urged.

"Yes, lets be on our way," Cheria agreed. Every second they wasted, was a second Asbel may not have to spare.

Malik carefully placed his foot on the icy landing before hopping down and offering a hand to his companion who followed suit. The glacier ruins were nothing if not treacherous and one wrong step was enough to send one plummeting into its depths, undoubtedly to their icy grave. Though they were surrounded by ice, it was oddly comfortable in the ruins' passages. Without the wind to cut through them, the winter cloaks they'd brought were more than enough to keep them warm.

Though the temperature may have been comfortable, the silence they'd been travelling in most certainly was not. Cheria had barely said a word since leaving Zavhert and while Malik was quick to blame it on the situation with Asbel, he wasn't entirely sure that's all there was to it. There was an uncertainty in her aura, an inkling in her posture that spoke of worries buried deep within, far deeper than anything that had transpired over the past few days could possibly hope to reach.

"You've been quiet for some time now," Malik finally spoke aloud. "Is something bothering you?"

"I'm just worried," Cheria replied just as Malik expected her to. "I'm worried about Asbel. I'm worried we may not make it in time, and I'm also worried about the future. Even if he gets better, I worry this will have a lasting effect on him."

"You worry things may not return to the way they were when this all started," Malik provided.

"Yes," Cheria replied. "We were so happy, I think I began to take for granted how peaceful things were. I miss it when the only thing we had to worry about was where to put all of Sophie's flowers, or what colour to paint the nursery. By comparison... it all seems so trivial. Now… I don't care how long Asbel buries himself in the study or whether Sophie eats too many crablettes, I just want things to go back to how they were."

"Sounds like things were happy," Malik commented.

"They really were," Cheria agreed. "And yet, it all fell apart so fast. Even now, I've barely begun to process everything. It's frightening… how fragile such a peace can be."

"And how has Lambda been doing in all this?" Malik asked. "You've hardly mentioned him at all."

"He's fine I suppose," Cheria answered. "You'd have to ask Asbel for any specifics."

Even if her curt reply hadn't tipped Malik off, the sudden shift in her tone would have. While she spoke softly and fondly of her memories with Sophie and Asbel, her thoughts on Lambda were little more than factual, stiff as her posture had become. That was interesting, what problems could have arisen between the two? Malik couldn't see Asbel allowing something like that to go unchecked, and he doubted the two could be on such rocky terms without him being aware. He expected Lambda and Cheria had little, if any, contact at all. Then again, perhaps that was the problem in and of itself.

"Does Asbel speak of him much?" Malik inquired.

"No, hardly ever at all," Cheria confessed. "Though the two speak to each other plenty. I have to wonder what they're always going on about."

"If you're curious, why not simply ask?"

"Because that would be rude," Cheria answered. "Besides, it isn't any of my business. If Asbel chooses to share then so be it, but it's not my place to pry into their affairs."

"Forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds, but you almost sound a bit jealous."

"I am not jealous!" Cheria protested quickly enough that even she knew she didn't sound believable. Malik arched his eyebrow. "Really," Cheria insisted with a calmer tone. "I guess I just… I've never really given him much thought until recently. He's so quiet I barely notice his existence half the time. I had always figured it would always be that way, and I was okay with that. Now, now it's because of him that everything has gone wrong… that everything fell apart."

"Come now Cheria, I highly doubt he wished for this."

"Maybe not, but it doesn't change the facts. Even if he couldn't tell me or Sophie, he could have at least warned Asbel, he could have done something before Asbel was on the verge of dying!"

"Was it even possible for him to have known any sooner than the rest of us?" Malik posed.

"He lives inside Asbel," Cheria pointed out. "At the very least he can tell when Asbel's lying about how he's been feeling. It's more than I can do."

"What do you have against Lambda all of a sudden?" Malik asked, though he suspected he already knew the answer.

"It's not that I'm against him…" Cheria trailed off, looking for the right words. "I just, I don't know what to think of him right now. He's changed since he's gone to live in Richard, and I just don't know if I can trust him anymore."

"Richard doesn't seem to be overly concerned," Malik pointed out. "If anything, he's been Lambda's champion this entire time. I can't see him doing that if he had any doubts."

"I don't know how much I can trust his words," Cheria confessed. "Lambda already took him over once when we were on Fodra."

"He what?"

"It didn't last for very long, but when he had, it felt just like we'd gone back to the days we were fighting them. I didn't like, not one bit."

"What ended up happening?"

"I don't entirely know," Cheria admitted. "Richard came back, and said that Lambda was just scared, but…"

"You don't believe him?"

"Lambda was talking about destroying Fodra in order to save Asbel, he was willing to kill everything without a second thought. I guess it got me wondering how much Lambda has really changed, or if he's not still the same person who was willing to destroy all of Ephinea."

"I can see how you would be concerned," Malik agreed. "But as it stands we have little choice but to trust in Richard's judgement. Having lived through the Valkines crisis with Lambda, he would know best of all if Lambda had the same intentions as he did then."

"Perhaps," Cheria conceded. "I just hope he knows what he's doing, and that he hasn't gotten in over his head."

The Valkines was as grand as Cheria recalled it being, and the massive cryas structures never failed to instil in her a feeling of awe. True they felt unnatural, always standing out from their surroundings in a peculiar manner that she could never quite put her finger on, but she still couldn't deny their grandeur. Even surrounded by all of Pascal's machinery, Forbrannir was a sight to behold.

This time, Cheria couldn't be happier to see the Valkines' glowing structure. That they had managed to make it down without a hitch only added to her sense of relief. Each passing moment made the pit in her stomach heavier, the hole in her chest wider and until she saw Asbel back on his feet, she doubted either feeling would abate. Cheria inhaled deeply, putting her every thought into slowing her racing heart. She couldn't let her fear get the better of her, she would protect the things that mattered to her, and she would return to claim the happiness this entire venture had left in shambles.

"Do you have Pascal's device?" Cheria asked Malik who had pulled the bag form his shoulder.

"Yes, its right here," Malik provided carefully removing the machine from their pack and inserting the necessary cryas.

"May I?" Cheria asked, extending her hand towards the Captain.

"Do you know how to use it?" Malik asked.

"Pascal showed me before we left," Cheria replied with a nod. "I just… I want to do this for Asbel."

"Of course," Malik said, passing the machine over to Cheria. It was heavier than she thought it would be and the cold metal sat uncomfortably in her grasp. The device reminded her a lot of the one Pascal had built to measure Asbel's eleth. The body of the device was a similar type of box, whose small openings revealed an inner mesh of gears and wire. Carefully clasped into place was a small piece of cryas connected to two limbs that reached out in front of the contraption. The only piece whose function Cheria fully comprehended were the two handles on the side that allowed her to carry the machine in spite of its awkward shape.

Cheria reached below the device, feeling for the switch Pascal had shown her and she exhaled the breath she'd been holding when she located the wayward button. Now all she had to do was touch the machine to the Valkines and the eleth would transfer into the cryas so they could bring it back to Lhant. Finally the solution was in her grasp, the end was in sight. Finally everything would be back to the way it was.

"You don't want to do this."

A familiar voice flooded the chamber, rising just above the dull roar of the machinery that shadowed them. Cheria froze in place a measly few feet from the Valkines, straining to spot the source of the voice that sounded so familiar it sent a shiver down her spine. Why did it sound so…

"You don't want to do this," the voice repeated. "Not really."

"Who are you?!" Cheria yelled out, her voice unsteady. The moment it had spoken a second time Cheria could no longer harbour any doubts. But who was speaking to her? And why did they share her own voice? "Why would you say something like that?" Cheria demanded. "I have to do this."

"Are you sure?"

"Careful Cheria," Malik warned, placing a hand cautiously on his bladerang. "Remember Pascal's warning."

"Of course I'm sure," Cheria replied, eyes warily searching the all but empty chamber. "I have to save Asbel! He needs to get better so that things can finally go back to how they were."

"Is that really what you want? Will that really make you happy?"

"Of course it would!" Cheria insisted, her frustration welling up from within. "I want my family back. I want to go back to the days with Asbel and Sophie, I want to go visit Strahta and Fendel with them and see our friends again. I want to welcome this child into the world with everyone's love surrounding him, and I will do whatever it takes to protect that."

"Yet there is a small thorn in that world, a blotch of ink that darkens your future. It seems so small, so insignificant, but now that you've noticed it, you can no longer see anything but the stain. Ever so slowly it spreads, touching everyone you care for until everything has been tainted by it. It surrounds you, consumes you until you have nothing left."

"What are you talking about?" Cheria demanded.

"You know of whom I speak. You try, but you can't deny it. His name has haunted your thoughts from the very beginning."

"No, you're wrong."

"You don't want him to come back," the voice continued, dripping with malice. "It doesn't take a genius to see it, and why would you? He's never done anything but cause you pain. He forced your closest friends to fight, he's the reason you risk losing your beloved, and you don't even want to think of the influence he may have on your child."

"Stop it. I'm not. I'm not thinking those things." Cheria insisted so loudly her voice reverberated in the empty chamber. "Stop lying!"

"I am not lying. You're the one who lies, the one who is determined to prove that she is happy just so she can forget how miserable she really is."

"I'm not-"

"You spend all your time trying to focus on the happy parts of your life because you know you're powerless to change the rest. You try to drown it out by telling yourself how blessed you are but deep down your doubts never really go away. The harder you try to pretend you're happy, the more you realize you're not. Your entire life is nothing but a lie."

"I'm not! I'm not lying!"

"You are lying," the voice replied. Rather than the all-encompassing presence it previously had, the voice now had a distinct position. Stepping from behind the shadows of the Valkines, the figure approached the two visitors with a look of pure malice painted across her face. The mirror image stared down her original. "I know you're lying. I can't be wrong, I'm you, after all."

"What-" Any other thought that Cheria might have had came to a grinding halt as she stared down a living reflection of herself. From her wavy pink hair pulled back in a single ponytail to her mother's hand made butterfly pin attached to her dress, the girl in front of her was a perfect copy. But- but how? "Who are you?"

"I told you, I'm you. So you can lie to my face all you'd like, but I still know the truth. I know that you really hate Lambda. You don't say anything, because you know how Asbel feels, but given the chance, you'd see him gone and think nothing of it. You don't care for his happiness; he doesn't deserve it anyways."

"No… that's not true," Cheria tried to insist but all the conviction fled from her voice.

"And why should he?" The shadow continued. "All he's ever done is hurt others. He hurt Richard and Sophie, and all of your friends in some way. Then he went and stole Asbel from you, your precious, irreplaceable Asbel. Even if Asbel wished for it, you never could accept it. You never could come to terms with the fact that he would never completely be Asbel again."

"That's a lie. It has to be a lie!"

"Who are you really trying to convince? Because it definitely isn't me," the other Cheria taunted. "Just admit it. You hate Lambda, you hate that he's the reason you're in this mess. If it wasn't for him, Asbel wouldn't be sick, if he just wasn't around, everything would be different."

"I never said that…"

"Oh but you did, and its so much more than that. You hate how much he's invaded your lives, how much he's taken your precious Asbel away from you. Already Asbel turns to him for everything. Whenever he's in need of help, who does he ask for advice? It isn't you, that's for sure. How long has it been now, only 3, maybe 4 years? Already look where you are; what do you think will happen in 10 or 20 years? Slowly and surely Lambda will take Asbel away from you."

"Asbel would never-!"

"Wouldn't he?" The image of Cheria folded her arms haughtily across her chest. "We can play your game, lets say everything does go back to exactly how it was a week ago. Asbel gets better, everyone is back to normal, but you'll never be able to erase what's happened. Nothing will change the fact that Solomnus will go after Lambda. It's inevitable, he'll hunt him until the ends of the planet; there's no escape. But you don't have to worry, you know Asbel would never let Solomnus destroy your peaceful lives, or hurt your family."

"Exactly!" Cheria insisted. "Neither would I, we can overcome anything together!"

"Together? Do you really think that's how it will be? How long before Asbel realizes that the fighting will never end? He'd never abandon Lambda; you know this. How long before he leaves you, vanishes without a trace in order to protect you and the baby? How long before you're alone, waiting in an empty manor with no one but your own broken heart to keep you company?!"

"Shut up!" Cheria cried, pressing her hands tightly over her ears. She didn't want to hear it, she didn't! She hated this girl, this living reflection of herself, but more than that she hated the truth in her words. She hated that she knew Asbel would do such a thing; he'd do it without a second thought. Because he could never abandon a friend, even if that friend was Lambda, and she knew he would choose to abandon her instead. Ultimately if it came down to it, he would still choose to leave her behind. No, that wasn't true; she couldn't let herself believe that! She had to trust him… to believe that it would never come to that.

"And if that doesn't happen, then what?" the fake goaded. "What happens when Lambda gets bored of playing house with you and little Sophie? What happens when he inevitably gives up on humanity again? He'll set out to destroy the world, only this time he'll take your precious Asbel with him as he spirals down into hell."

"Stop it!"

"Face it!" Cheria's reflection taunted heartlessly. "You regret that Asbel ever saved his life!"

"Cheria, don't listen to her!" Malik insisted, closing the gap between him and his companion.

"Well well, the brave and mighty Captain to the rescue, is it?" The fake Cheria asked. "Why don't you share your story? After all, you know all about regrets, don't you?"

"I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish with this, but-"

"Yes, he certainly does," a second voice came from behind the former instructor, its consulate tones so engraved in his mind, that Malik could never mistake them, and the familiar sound stopped his heart.

Turning around, Malik's eyes locked onto an image that he never dreamed he'd see standing before him again.

"Lorelia…?"