Well. It's been a while hasn't it? This was an absolute bitch to write but I suddenly had inspiration so I managed to get it finished at last! Just an epilogue to go now and Sakura's mad adventures with the Akatsuki will be finished. Sad face. Tell me what you think and thank you for not giving up on this story! I love you all!
XXXXX
At the appropriate distance from the base Sakura shouldered her pack more securely and nodded seriously at Kisame, "Ok, I'll see you at the hot springs then? If word hasn't got round that when I'm around all the world's assholes keep turning up."
They all just smirked at the stern glare she sent their way and waved as she shot off into the trees as they pretended to have a camp. Their story would be simple; she disappeared sometime during the night. Hidan had made quite a valid point that maybe one of them should go with her on the pretence of 'going to catch her' just in case the situation around Konoha was more dangerous than they realised. However she'd shot that down on two counts. Firstly, she was a badass ninja in her own right and didn't need a sitter no matter how crazy the situation may be, and secondly turning up with an Akatsuki on her arm was not exactly the image she wanted to present to people if it could be helped. Deidara and Hidan had pouted and whined and even Itachi looked something approaching like he'd rather leave with her but Kisame had the sense to make them shut up. Sakura would go and lie low at the closest hot springs to Konoha and gather information. The rest of them would go and attempt to lie to their boss before following her. Depending on the situation within the village they would either bust in and kick Danzou's ass or sneak in and keep an eye on Sakura while she celebrated the village kicking Danzou's ass before taking her back with them. They hadn't told her about the last bit naturally, she would have hit them, but it was the only acceptable outcome for them.
The next hour was filled with them attempting to formulate a believable lie about how several of the most talented and experienced ninja in the world had managed to let a small woman with bright pink hair slip out of their grasp again. Kisame had a sneaking feeling that Pein needed a little more time to recover from dealing with them and this on-going idiocy they'd found themselves in. Hopefully that would mean that he would just tell them to get out of his sight and not bother him again until they'd reverted back to the merciless killers he'd hired. He also knew that Konan had a bit of a soft-spot for the girl and the potential for a real life soap opera she presented. So long as he was allowed to do all the talking, he reckoned they had a good shot at pulling this off.
XXXXX
Several hours later Kisame and the rest of the dream team closed the door to Pein's office behind them, their ears still ringing. After giving something of an abridged report, handing over the plans for the super soldiers and hinting strongly at Danzou's involvement, Pein had been rather pleased with them. It had been the middle of the night when they'd got back and their leader hadn't been happy or properly with it. Hidan wasn't sure he could ever get the image of Pein in just his boxers out of his head. Being in a half-awake state, all the fearsome leader of the Akatsuki could think about was crawling back into bed and wrestling the covers back off Konan. Therefore it didn't immediately register that their newest diversion wasn't in the room. Konoha ninjas tended to suppress their chakra instinctively after growing up around civilians who didn't like feeling it. Not to mention that when Kisame was in a room his chakra signature tended to drown out those around him.
Therefore when he'd finished grunting at them in praise he'd expected them to just leave him alone. What he wasn't expecting was for all of them to drop their heads and scuff their toes on the ground in the practiced pose of a person with something to confess. He'd given them all the hardest look he could manage and had remained stony-faced throughout Kisame's explanation of how Sakura had simply up and vanished during the night, obviously heading back to Konoha.
There'd been quite a long silence. Not as long as some they'd experienced over the past month but it was getting there. Evidently they'd chosen a bad time to drop this particular bombshell as they stood, heads bowed, while Pein ranted and raved about their sheer incompetence and about how they'd better get Sakura back as she was the only one of them with half a functioning brain. Obviously these sentiments were couched in much cruder terms, including a vocabulary that impressed even Kakuzu, but this was the general gist of the matter. After that he'd thrown them out of his living suite, closed and barred the door behind them and retreated to bed. Once they were positive they were out of earshot the group shared a secret celebration. So far so good.
The usual squabbles of who was taking what was conspicuously absent as they packed all their best gear and enough supplies to last them to Konoha and back. All of them were spoiling for a fight, even if it had to be with Konoha ninjas who wanted one of their top medics back.
XXXXX
When they arrived at the hot springs a couple of days later they were met with a raging kunoichi who already had the staff and other patrons cowering whenever she stormed past. Judging by the way the ground was shaking with every step she took the news from Konoha probably wasn't good. They stood and watched as she breathed fire at someone stupid enough to have told her to keep it down and wondered how they were going to get her attention without her tearing chunks off them.
Everyone looked at Kisame hopefully, but he returned the look with one that quite clearly said he wasn't stupid. After a quick game of rock-paper-scissors Itachi was unceremoniously pushed forward while the rest of them tried to make themselves as unobtrusive as possible.
"Sakura."
"... put my foot so far up your ass ..."
"Sakura."
"... be on the front page! ..."
"Sakura!"
Itachi would later deny taking a step back as she whirled around on him. The man she had been shouting into submission took this as a cue to scarper. The men needn't have worried, on seeing them she actually lightened up.
"Oh thank God you're here! And believe me, that's not ever something I thought I'd say."
Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the way this made the day for the rest of them. Hidan had fast been becoming unbearable again on being separated from her good influence.
"So I'm gonna take a shot in the fucking dark here, but I'm guessing Konoha's not as fairies and gumdrops as you left it?" Hidan said, taking advantage of Sakura having scared everyone away to have a seat on one of the loungers.
Sakura gripped the bridge of her nose and tried some of the deep breathing exercises that Konan developed for Kakuzu. "You have no idea. I knew we didn't have long til that rat bastard tried something but I didn't know it would be this soon."
Kisame happened to glance over at Itachi while Sakura was saying that and could have sworn that the younger man looked worried. If Itachi was actually looking worried, then he must really be panicking inside. There'd been something weird going on with him ever since that stupid cave and once they'd dealt with Danzou Kisame was going to get to the bottom of it. Itachi, naturally, remained totally oblivious to the calculating stare of his partner.
"He's taken over?"
"Yeah, turned the tables in the middle of the night, he must have been planning this for months, and we can't know how many people he's got on side."
"So what are we going to do?" Despite Sakura's towering rage about the whole situation, Kisame was pretty unconcerned. Danzou wasn't that much of a threat once people started messing with his carefully laid plans. Messing with carefully laid plans was something the Akatsuki was particularly good at, he thought with a smirk.
"Word is he's planning an official 'ceremony' to announce to the village that he's in charge-"
"Wait, wait, back the fuck up," Hidan held up a hand, smirking at the burning look Sakura graced him with, "I know your village is full of morons but how did that idiot Danzou and his robot army get one over on the Hokage and the jinchuuriki? I thought you warned them?"
"I did!" Sakura's scowl deepened, "But things were already in motion. God knows how he captured Shishou, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei but I wouldn't be surprised if it was something stupid."
"No that wouldn't surprise anyone..." Kakuzu was only half listening to the conversation, concerning himself with how the hot springs should re-invest their money for maximum profit.
"So anyway," Sakura continued as the Akatsuki chuckled, "he's having a ceremony thing and he's probably going to parade them around and talk about what a danger Naruto is and shit. The civilians lap that sort of crap up."
"See that's why all the sensible villages don't give a fuck about them."
Kisame put a hand out just in case Sakura decided to snap and beat Hidan senseless. Admittedly it would be something the priest would enjoy but they really didn't have the time for it right now. Itachi was starting to vibrate with what Kisame would call nerves if the Uchiha was a normal man and Sakura looked as if she was about to raise the place to the ground in sheer annoyance.
"Ok, so what's he going to do after that?"
"I don't know! Only ROOT knows and they have this stupid seal which means they can't blab so I'm just going on what the normal ninjas and civilians know."
"This doesn't make any sense, why are your ninjas going along with this shit? I mean come the fuck on, I know Tsunade is a soft touch but they must know that life would be hell under that paranoid twat." Hidan snagged a cocktail off the table next to his seat and talked over the rim, avoiding the little umbrella.
Sakura sighed, picking up a cocktail of her own and leaning back on her heels, "Tsunade wasn't everyone's first choice and she doesn't take any shit so obviously the council doesn't like her. Plus there's a lot more of ROOT than we thought, anyone who even looks like they might argue with Danzou has got one of those weirdoes standing behind them."
Deidara clapped his hands together, already forming something explosive between them. "Well then yeah, we get in there, and we fuck shit up!"
Sakura managed a wan smile in the face of such rampant enthusiasm, "I don't know if it'll be as easy as that."
Kisame smiled at her fondly, it was like she kept forgetting just who she was dealing with. "Yeah it will, now, when's this ceremony?"
"Tomorrow at noon."
"Well, put on your nicest clothes, we're going to crash the party."
XXXXX
Danzou smirked out at the gathered crowds. There were plenty of mutinous faces in the masses but his ROOT agents had done their work well and he'd had no problems so far. He was feeling confident enough that most of his agents were back within the base and only a few were dispersed among the crowd, ready to deal with any insurrection. He'd been surprised at how smoothly his takeover had happened. Tsunade had obviously been onto him but she had been too late to do anything about it. Everything had gone off without a hitch – he still couldn't believe it. The council were firmly behind him and the ninjas that weren't had already had a stern reminder that he was Hokage now in the form of threats to their families. And now here he was, on stage with Tsunade, and the brat tied up and sealed and ready to be denounced in front of the whole village. There was nothing that could go wrong.
Raising a hand the disgruntled murmuring of the crowd ceased and he launched into his prepared speech about the new future of Konoha. Coincidentally this new future was going to start with the end of the old regime and the end of Tsunade and Naruto on some jumped up charges he was rather proud of. They were just believable enough that the civilians would take them hook line and sinker, and there was nothing her loyal ninjas could do.
"So, does that meet with everyone's approval?" It was a rhetorical question naturally, and he did so enjoy exercising his new-found power.
There was silence for a heartbeat and then a voice cut across it, "No, it fucking well doesn't!"
The crowd gasped in shock as they separated around a hooded figure standing directly before the stage. Tsunade and Naruto immediately perked up on recognising it, starting to struggle with the ties holding them.
Danzou looked rather sour-faced at the interruption. He would have to have this woman dealt with. "And why not?"
Sakura tugged her hood down revealing her pink hair to the joy of many of the ninjas in the crowd who immediately began whispering about it. "'Cos everyone knows you're full of shit."
Danzou sneered on seeing Tsunade's apprentice. A talented girl no doubt but with the same temper that got her mentor into trouble. "And just what do you plan to do about it?"
The emphasis on the you made Sakura smirk and that in turn made Danzou feel something approaching anxiety, what was the girl hiding?
She looked over his shoulder as a huge explosion rocked the village. He spun to see the column of smoke rising from the crater where his ROOT headquarters had been ten seconds ago. Wordlessly he turned back to the girl who was now lazily flipping a kunai in one hand, "Oh, it's not just me..."
She trailed off as Kisame and Itachi materialised out of thin air at her sides. The silence that followed was definitely the most exciting and possibly the least stressful she'd experienced in the last month.
Danzou tensed and the battle was on.
ROOT agents leapt towards them from the crowd, the sudden freedom allowing the loyal ninjas to start evacuating the civilians before picking up and heading to defend their village. Sakura leapt through the crowd to free her mentor and best friend while Danzou suddenly found himself face to face with a possibly angry, maybe worried, it was hard to tell from his face, Itachi. Kisame, naturally, was causing havoc below them.
"Sakura, what in the hell do you think you're doing?" Tsunade had never been happier to see her apprentice but she'd taught the girl better than to wander into life-threatening situations like this.
"And what the hell are those assholes doing here?" Naruto tried for angry but actually just looked excited; it was always fun to watch people as good as Itachi and Kisame without them trying to kill you.
The three of them ducked a shadow clone that had been flung out of the melee happening under the stage. Sakura caught Kisame's eye and grinned as he shredded a ROOT agent that had clearly been planning on sneaking up on them.
"Well I had to do something! And these guys are mental but they can kick some serious ass."
"You're damn right!"
The three of them jumped as Hidan appeared out of nowhere and landed beside them. "Don't look at me like that brat, now where's the one-eyed wonder and the wood guy?"
Sakura forced down a laugh at Hidan's endlessly flattering descriptions of Kakashi and Yamato, and instead looked to Tsunade.
"Probably in the cells under the Hokage tower, that's where we were held. Let's damn well hope they weren't in ROOT headquarters," She finished with a sour look at Hidan who just shrugged.
"The kid likes what he fucking does, seriously. Now come on, there's a hell of a lot more of these bastards than I thought, you people are going to have to pull your fucking weight."
Tsunade and Naruto glared hard enough to remind him that this was just a temporary truce before Naruto leapt into the fray with a whoop and Tsunade started on healing the closest loyal ninja to her. Hidan grabbed Sakura's hand and they shot off in the direction of the tower to free the rest of the political prisoners to give themselves some extra back up.
XXXXX
Hidan reached the trapdoor leading to the cells first and frowned at the complicated jutsu. Sakura simply burst the door open with a chakra enhanced fist, the chakra detector immediately recognising her. Hidan grinned after her retreating back and leapt through, careful to dodge to the wood shards that still wanted to disintegrate him for having foreign chakra.
The walls were lined with cells filled with an interesting variety of prisoners, torture equipment and the occasional skeleton. Hidan looked on with interest as he followed Sakura down the stairs to the highest security part of the complex.
"I didn't know you all had it in you, seriously!" He laughed as they passed through a particularly bloodstained corridor, "The whole flowers and fucking hippy attitude is all just for show isn't it? You can be honest with me, seriously."
Sakura actually laughed, but she couldn't decide whether it was his commentary or hysteria at just what was going on above their heads. Hidan chose to think it was the former. The ROOT guards outside the cells of what could only be described as the political prisoners looked very surprised to see them barrelling down the corridor. Well as surprised as people with no emotions could possibly look – Sakura blamed her enhanced Uchiha-emotion sensors for being able to pick up on things like that.
In what Sakura initially thought was something of a flattering burst of chivalry Hidan took the lead and distracted the guards by killing them while she rushed to decode the chakra locks holding the thick steel door closed on her friends. As she listened with one ear to Hidan cackling madly and giving the agents a lecture on the power of Jashin Sakura realised he probably just wanted to kill them himself, no chivalry intended, and couldn't work out why she was slightly disappointed. It was definitely the mental clinic once things had calmed down.
Ducking to avoid a burst of arterial spray as Hidan finished off the last one, his scythe devastatingly effective in such an enclosed space, she managed to break the code. The ninjas inside had obviously been pressed up against the door as they all spilled out practically onto the floor as she heaved the door open, the metal bars squealing as they gave way under her enhanced strength. Kakashi was the first out looking an interesting mixture of relieved, excited and immensely irritated that Hidan was lounging in the background nonchalantly, his scythe on his shoulder at a jaunty angle. He was followed by Yamato and several other high level jounins including Gai, Kurenai, Anko and Genma. They all seemed very conflicted to have been rescued by one of the village's greatest enemies and Sakura was forced to jump in to prevent Gai from launching into one of his trademark rants.
"Deidara took out a lot of ROOT when he destroyed the headquarters but there are still loads out there and you have to go help!"
Kurenai opened her mouth but Sakura cut her off, "Do I look like I'm fucking with you? Get the hell out of here! And for fuck's sake don't shit yourselves when you see the rest of the Akatsuki out there, they're helping!"
Kakashi swelled up with pride as he watched his darling student swear like a sailor as she took complete charge of the situation. Grabbing Kurenai by the upper arm he nodded to the two of them and took off at a run.
The rest followed except Anko took a moment to eye Hidan up and give him a wink, "You always get the hot ones Sakura, damn!"
"Why are the hot ones always mad, bad or totally gay?"
"That's life kiddo!" Anko laughed as she sprinted away to crack some heads.
Sakura made to follow and made it into the corridor before Hidan caught her, one big hand around her wrist, and span her against the wall. Before she could react he'd pressed himself right against her and slammed his mouth onto hers. Her mind made a split second decision which ran along the lines of 'fuck it' and she fisted her hands into his cloak and pulled him closer. There was one thing to be said for strange immortal beings of indeterminate age and that was that they knew how to kiss. He shoved a hand into her hair and slid his arm around her back to hold her somehow closer against him, his lips moving over hers in a way she was sure should be illegal.
Although he'd thoroughly fried her brain he was evidently still with it enough to remember that they were still kind of in the middle of a fight to the death and this really wasn't the time to be making out in the secure prison under the Hokage's tower. He stepped away from her, looking in rather smug satisfaction at her glassy expression and swollen lips, before gesturing with his head up the stairs back into the fight. Sakura shook her head and pulled herself together, reacting to his smug smirk with a look of exasperation and following the path the jounin had taken.
XXXXX
Naruto, blissfully unaware of the homicidal priest defiling his best friend and surrogate sister, was having the time of his life. Hidan had been right in there was a hell of a lot more ROOT than they'd thought possible and there seemed to be a never ending stream of expressionless weirdos who wanted to stab him. It was the best fight he'd had in years and it was all down to the fact he was standing back to back with Kisame and the two of them were tearing through their opposition. True, usually Kisame was trying to tear him up but Naruto wasn't one to hold a grudge, especially not when Samehada was singing over his head beating in skulls and absorbing indecent amounts of chakra. Itachi was still fighting Danzou who was surprisingly spry for an old bastard but they'd been joined by Kakuzu whose expression never seemed to change from an irritated scowl as he flickered in and out dispatching anyone unlucky enough to be in disembowelling distance.
In the distance he had spotted Gai flying into combat, a loud man in a bright green jumpsuit was hard to miss after all, and knew that Sakura and the freak had made it in and out again. He hollered as Kakashi appeared looking completely unruffled by the carnage going on around him. His sensei gave him a lazy wave as he caught a kunai out of mid-air and effortlessly plunged it into a ROOT who had been looming over a downed Hyuuga. Speaking of Hyuugas the clan was more than holding their own in its little corner of the battlefield with Neji, Hinata and Hanabi forming a triangle that was blocking every damn chakra point in the vicinity. Every loyal ninja was fighting and if Naruto wasn't so busy making sure he didn't get killed as well as making sure Kisame didn't get too far ahead of him in their unofficial counting game he would have gotten slightly emotional.
Unfortunately he had to save those thoughts for later as suddenly a strange feeling ran down the spines of every ninja present, ROOT or otherwise. A strange lull descended over the fight as they attempted to locate the source of the disturbance. Hidan had been distracted dealing with some particular sinners so Sakura was by herself when she felt the ground near the edge of the fight start to vibrate with unnatural energy. The rumbling grew stronger and Sakura crossed her fingers and prayed it wasn't any of those idiotic super-soldiers from before. She couldn't see exactly what happened as a strong arm grabbed her round the waist and swept her away from the explosion that she had been firmly within the blast radius of.
She landed with an 'oof' shielded from the smoke and debris by a large piece of stone that had been brought down from a building earlier in the fight. Looking up she found herself staring into bright blue eyes.
"Watch yourself, yeah?" Deidara grinned down at her, looking more excited than she'd ever seen him.
She tried to ignore the way he was stretched out on top of her as she asked, "One of yours?"
He pulled a displeased face until he noticed the slight smirk that revealed she was teasing him, going straight for the guts in revenge for him laughing at her.
"You're a bitch, yeah?" She would have been offended if he hadn't whispered it with such a fond look on his face.
She managed a laugh before he caught her lips in a kiss that showed he thoroughly deserved his self-given title of artist. He took most of his weight on his arm and cupped her face with his other hand, the mouth on it firmly shut. It seemed the mouths on his hands weren't the only talented ones he had either. 'Kissing's pretty great' was the only coherent thought she could manage as the rest of her brain was tied up in feeling Deidara all over her.
He pulled away far too soon for her liking but there was the matter of the giant explosion, the dust just beginning to settle enough to see what was happening and she dreaded to think what Naruto would say if he caught her in this position. Grinning at her he helped her up and they peeked over the edge of the stone to see a man who looked like Kabuto standing in front of a small force of Sound ninja.
"My my, just what is going on here?"
Every ninja who hadn't been brought up in some kind of intensive farming project shivered as they recognised that voice. Orochimaru. As if the day couldn't get any worse.
"Oi, I thought Sasuke-teme killed you!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger through the crowd which obligingly parted slightly so Orochimaru-Kabuto could see him doing it.
"Orochimaru's like a bad penny kid, he always keeps turning up!" Jiraiya spoke in the silence before Orochimaru had time to answer.
"How long did it take you to think that one up?" Tsunade scoffed as she walked to stand shoulder to shoulder with her oldest friend.
"And where the hell have you been, you old pervert? If you were at the baths while we've been busting our balls out here I'm going to –"
"For fuck's sake shut up Naruto."
The crowd, which had been watching these exchanges with interest while Orochimaru fumed that no one was paying him any attention, pivoted to look at the new speaker.
Naruto folded his arms, an incredibly unimpressed look on his face, "Sasuke-teme," he said in acknowledgement.
Deidara leaned into Sakura to whisper in her ear, "It's a fucking party up in here, yeah."
"If by party you mean absolute clusterfuck..."
"Hit that little bastard Uchiha again, it'll make our year, yeah."
"Itachi might murder me."
"Itachi's a dick."
Itachi was thankfully out of earshot of this little conversation, instead spreading his disgusted stares between Danzou, Orochimaru and the ragamuffins Sasuke had gotten himself involved with. Honestly, the boy should know better than that.
Sasuke just gave Naruto a withering look, showing that he was much better at cold civility than the dumbass would ever be.
Orochimaru decided that enough was quite enough and it was high time the focus was back on him and cleared his throat loudly and obviously. Kisame just rolled his eyes, Orochimaru had always been a goddamn drama queen.
"No, darling little Sasuke does seem to have a little trouble finishing the job doesn't he?"
"If that's some sort of fucked up sexual allusion no one here wants to know, seriously," Hidan cut across, vocalising the thoughts of absolutely everyone present.
Sasuke went an interesting shade of puce while Naruto turned a little green and took some deep breaths to try and cleanse any such mental images from his head.
Orochimaru smirked and continued, "So no, he hasn't killed me. No one can kill me!"
"Well now you've fucked it. Villains are pretty much contractually obligated to get murdered after saying that shit." Kisame wasn't at all fazed by the poisonous look sent his way.
"Orochimaru still owes the Akatsuki money; I'll be claiming the corpse to cash in on the bounty to repay those debts." Kakuzu announced from the edge of the circle that had formed around Naruto and the two sannin.
"Did you just call dibs on a fucking corpse?"
"Not to interrupt, but what the hell happens now?" Yamato resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in the face of the surreal situation he was finding himself in.
Tsunade stepped forward rubbing her hands, "Orochimaru, Sound ninjas, Danzou and ROOT agents bad ... Konoha ninjas and, something I never thought I'd hear coming out of my mouth, Akatsuki good!"
"What about Sasuke-teme?"
"I don't bloody know, just roll with it! Now get to work, there's a bottle of sake with my name on it and I'm getting mighty thirsty!"
With a whoop the battle was back on, the opposing forces blending into each other into one massive fight which appeared much more like a bar brawl than a deciding match for the fate of a ninja village. Deidara waited until Sakura was distracted destroying anyone who looked at her funny before moving to the opposite side of the fight to let off a few of his choice pieces. He couldn't pull out the big guns with the crowd so mixed but, hell, he'd got to blow up the headquarters so that should hold him for a while.
Hidan had cleared a neat little space around him that none of his current enemies were particularly keen to enter. He may have been the slowest Akatsuki but there was just no taking him down. Reaching around himself he yanked out the kunai that had been buried in his lower back and jammed it back into its owner with a maniacal laugh that further supported the theory that he was best left alone on the battlefield.
Kisame was whistling as he racked up even more numbers on his side of the counting game. Naruto was distracted by having a deep conversation about loyalty and how much of a dick Sasuke had been as they stood in the middle of the battlefield, blatantly ignoring Orochimaru, Danzou and pretty much everyone else. That little bitch Suigetsu was running around here somewhere although he seemed to have the sense to focus on the Sound ninja. This was officially the weirdest day and once Kisame got round to writing his memoirs the shifting alliances happening right now were going to be the hardest thing to explain.
Sasuke's little band of merry men (and Karin) were feeling pretty out of their depth. This was the first time they'd ever been to Konoha and it was fair to say that perhaps they weren't seeing it at its best. Rather than the sort of dopey do-gooders that Sasuke was always complaining about them being, the Konoha ninjas were instead armed to the teeth and putting the boot into anyone stupid enough to try and mess with their home. On top of that Sasuke's big brother was here like he owned the place and the rest of the Akatsuki seemed to have their 'number one enemies of the state' status revoked for the time being. Thankfully there was the familiar sight of Sound ninjas, and in Juugo's humble opinion they always needed fucking up.
The battle was intense, if a little disorganised. The loyal Konoha ninjas and their temporary allies had the easiest job as it was pretty damn clear who their two sets of enemies were. The Sound ninjas and Danzou's ROOT agents were having a harder time – they now had a battle on two fronts as there was no way in hell they were going to join up with each other to try and take over Konoha – Orochimaru would never accept help anyway, much less from someone like Danzou. The fighting managed to remain mostly contained in the area before the Hokage's tower much to the relief of the civilians currently taking shelter as far away from their crazy ninja neighbours as possible. All they could hope for was that whoever won made sure to clean the mess up afterwards.
XXXXX
Eventually the battle wound down to the stage where the victorious Konoha/Akatsuki/Team Hebi ninjas had formed a viewing circle around the main event – a strange multi-way showdown between Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Danzou and Orochimaru.
Naruto stretched up, resting his hands behind his head in his practiced lounging pose, "So, what now?"
"I'm going to put my foot up Orochimaru's ass." Tsunade stated with finality.
"What about Danzou?"
"Itachi can deal with that amateur."
Danzou puffed up in outrage that someone would dare call him such a thing! Orochimaru didn't help the situation by giving him a sympathetic look.
"Hey, kid, are you going to try and murder your brother today?" Jiraiya questioned, more interested in watching Tsunade crack her knuckles in front of him than Sasuke's answer.
Sasuke looked conflicted, on one hand this was the longest he'd spent not unconsciousness in his brother's presence and he'd be a fool to waste this opportunity. On the other hand his brother had never tried to molest him unlike certain other evil villains in the vicinity and such matters had to take precedence. "Hn."
"That means no!" Sakura helpfully injected from the sidelines where she was kneeling over Genma fixing the deep slash in his thigh.
Itachi merely inclined his head towards his brother in acknowledgement, showing the flawless Uchiha manners that Sasuke never quite developed.
The silence stretched for an uncomfortable minute until "For fuck's sake get on with it" in Hidan's strident voice came from somewhere within the crowd. Orochimaru huffed as his moment of drama was ruined and this sudden lack of concentration was all Tsunade needed to clear the space and punch him in the face so hard Kabuto's glasses were practically disintegrated. As he crashed into a building Naruto screwed his face up, "Come on you old bag, leave some for the rest of us!"
Danzou was watching this with interest and was not watching the second last surviving Uchiha who suddenly appeared behind him and dispatched him with very little effort. Another silence stretched out as the remaining few ROOT agents tried to process their freedom from the tyranny of their master.
"Well that was anti-climactic."
"I believe you owe me 10000¥ Kisame."
"Goddamnit!"
Unfortunately Orochimaru was not quite so easily dealt with as he'd retained enough of Kabuto to make healing himself less of a challenge. Pulling himself out of the wreckage he faced down his opponents who now included the man who had forced him to leave the Akatsuki after that whole embarrassing failed body-take over thing. His ninjas had been taken all the way to town by a combination of pissed off Konoha ninjas and previous genetic experiments that bore him something of a grudge. The odds were not in his favour and he had always felt that discretion was the better part of valour. Time to go.
Tsunade and Jiraiya saw this thought process written all over his face and decided to act before he could slink away to cause trouble later on. Shouting to Naruto and Sasuke to get their asses in gear they lunged forward, managing to grab hold of one of Orochimaru's arms each, pulling tightly and exposing his torso.
Sasuke immediately started powering up his chidori – revenge would have been sweeter if he'd got the damn thing right the first time around but he'd learned not to be too picky over the years. Naruto wasn't quite as on the ball as his old friend and instead looked to Itachi to point out what was expected of him right now. Itachi gave him the patented Uchiha withering stare and gestured for the rasengan. Kisame, Sakura and the rest of the Akatsuki thought it was quite sweet that Itachi had found someone even less socially aware than he was to mentor. Catching up Naruto formed a clone to help the process along as the rest of the village rolled its eyes that this was their top ninja. Kakuzu cast a very knowing look over the crowd to Sakura who just flipped him off.
Orochimaru kicked, struggled and tried to shout his way out of his fate but Naruto and Sasuke took opposite sides and charged. The resulting white light and explosion impressed even Deidara.
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Tsunade had dispatched every able bodied ninja under her command to clean up the mess and was standing in a clearing outside the village walls with Naruto, Kakashi, Yamato and Sai. As it turned out Kakashi had had the forethought to tie him up and leave him in the care of his dogs so he couldn't cause them any trouble and so he wouldn't get hurt by any overzealous Konoha ninjas. Facing them were the Akatsuki and Team Hebi who were all in good shape considering the massive battle that had just taken place. Sakura was hovering in the middle, trying not to show partisan feelings for either side.
Hidan and Deidara were looking particularly pleased with themselves and were smirking smugly at her, not realising that the other was doing the same until Kisame made a show of looking at both of them in amusement. They shared a confused look before a dawning realisation had them scowling fiercely at each other before glaring at Sakura.
She simply gave them both a very measured look, a hint of a smirk playing about the corner of her mouth, "Don't look at me. This is your problem, not mine." She said, before turning back to her shishou.
The two of them looked stunned before shaking their heads and deciding to deal with it later. Kisame caught Kakuzu's eye and mouthed 'DAMN!' which got a bark of laughter even out of the bounty hunter who was super pissed that they'd disintegrated Orochimaru to the point where he couldn't claim the bounty. Itachi looked oblivious to the undercurrents around him once more, looking as serene as ever now Danzou and Orochimaru were dead – a welcome return to normality.
Team Hebi were still eying up the Akatsuki and Sakura warily but Sasuke was ignoring them as usual. Juugo couldn't help but wonder if there was perhaps an opening on a team with a leader who gave a shit but reminded himself that he was practically the only good influence Sasuke had.
Tsunade folded her arms, "Right, this is the part where you tell me what your plans are."
Hidan scratched the side of his head, "Murder, pillage, world domination, you know, the usual."
Tsunade gave him an unimpressed look before turning to Kisame – even people who'd only known them a few hours could tell that he was the sensible one.
"We're going to go back to base and pretend today never happened. Sound good?"
"Now you're talking. What about you Uchiha?"
Sasuke nodded, the less he remembered about today the better, "I'll come back and kill Itachi and the dobe later."
"You wish bastard!"
Kakashi and Yamato shared a look that perhaps letting several criminals simply leave the village wasn't perhaps the best idea but it had been one hell of a long day.
Tsunade made a shooing motion with her hand and Team Hebi took the hint, disappearing into the trees. Sasuke looked back to see his old team-mates who just waved at him. He tch'd, they could have at least looked a little upset.
The Akatsuki were less keen to leave, well not really, but they didn't want to leave Sakura behind. It was quite clear that her team was quite convinced she'd be staying back in Konoha with them. Hidan and Deidara were totally prepared to disabuse them of that notion but Kisame held them back as a significant look passed between Sakura and her mentor.
"As much as I hate to say this, we really could use someone on the inside when it comes to an organisation like the Akatsuki." Tsunade gave the men in front of her the hardest glare she could muster, conveying a silent warning that they had better look after her or else. She tried not to smile as the weight of her words sunk in and the excitement could be read plainly on their faces (well, not Itachi's or Kakuzu's but the point stood).
Sakura picked up a pack that had been sitting behind her and chucked it to Itachi who caught it on reflex. Naruto and Sai looked aghast at the thought she was actually going to be leaving with those assholes but Kakashi and Yamato shared another look, one of understanding. It was pretty obvious that she was going to be in safe hands, even if those were the hands of murderous and insane criminals. Sakura swept Naruto up into a hug which they pulled Sai into as she promised that she wouldn't be away long. Stepping back she hugged Kakashi and Yamato before throwing herself into the arms of her surrogate mother figure. After repeated promises to write to them often and return for Naruto's birthday she walked over to be re-kidnapped by the Akatsuki.
"What are we going to tell the village?" Sai asked, trying to pin down this uncomfortable emotion that had Naruto in floods of tears.
"That they up and left and snagged Sakura when they did."
"They'll go for that? Damn." Hidan smirked at the annoyed glances sent his way.
"They'll damn well have to, and that's the story you lot stick to, clear? Don't do anything stupid now Sakura."
"Come on shishou, when have I ever done anything stupid?" Sakura gave them all an innocent smile before Kisame pushed her forward into the trees, nodding to the gathered team. Everyone shared a look, that girl was going to be the death of all of them.
"Let's get the fuck home before Pein has a shit-fit."
"He's going to kill us, yeah?"
"Totally worth it."
As they shot through the trees on their way back to Amegakure and the banter flowed around her, Sakura had to admit; it had been totally worth it. They were totally worth the craziness that came with them.
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R/R