Okay, the FF edit/preview page has really been messing up, so if anything in this chapter looks weird for some reason, then I am very sorry, but I can not fix it. Notice how I wrote can not, as opposed to the short form? That would be because the apostrophe does not work. And question marks and forward slashes have been copied and pasted from another page. Yeah.

I hope that you somehow found this chapter to your liking. I posted a note fully explaining it at the bottom of the page!

Enjoy!

Also, a huge thank you to all who read and reviewed previous chapters!

Disclaimer: Do not own the original series, or anything associated.

Chapter 14

The Proper Place

She was so much like me. All I could do was stare.

Just like a mirror. All over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." her voice was soft and light, like that of a child.

Tears beaded in the corners of her eyes. I could sense that InuYasha had come to stand behind me, but he said nothing. I wanted to turn and look at him, but somehow felt I didn't dare.

He was speechless.

I was speechless.

Time was frozen in place, and it seemed like nobody knew what came next.

Sango and Miroku's apartment door opened across the hall, and they both stood there probably awakened by the noise from the hallway.

Sango gasped, and staggered backward slightly.

"I told you that it sounded like..." she murmured, almost inaudible in her shock. It took me a moment to realize that she was referring to the phone call that she had received earlier.

I think I sat down with everyone, as she made her sobbing confessions, her apologies, but I can't really remember it very clearly.

Everything moved by in broken bits and pieces.

"Ran... Stayed out of town... Changed name... So sorry..."

Feigning tiredness later, I had been sent into Sango's room to rest.

I stayed there, but my thoughts were too frantic, and I felt like I was choking, like I was being torn inside-out. I couldn't comprehend this feeling, but for some reason, all I could think about was the girl I had met a few weeks ago, Naraku`s fiancee.

Somehow, I just could not get out of my mind, I recalled how much I had wanted to tell her to run. Run before it was too late.

A sickening panic washed over me, and I twisted my body painfully, as if I was trying to dodge the direction of my thoughts.

What if some things were just so inevitable that there was no way to avoid them?

I looked out the window, into the chilly night. I noticed that the bedroom window was right over a fire escape. Not bothering to think about it first, I climbed out onto the rickety metal platform and made my way down a set of stairs.

Finally, at the bottom of the thin stairs, there was another platform, that dropped off with a ladder that did not go all the way to the ground.

I was cornered, but it was too late to go back now, so I began my descent anyway. I made my way down until my hands held onto the last rung. I dangled above the alley.

Looking down, I decide, if I could manage to propel myself into a pile of garbage bags, I could make a relatively safe landing.

I swung my legs, and, gaining leverage, let go of the ladder.

I fell onto the bags, and heard the sickening rip of something tearing through the plastic.

I looked down and saw a bit of metal digging into the skin of my calve. I freed my leg, but didn't really feel the pain of the cut.

That's all it was really, a little scrape. Only deep enough to draw a bit of blood.

I ran onto the sidewalk, getting out of the alley.

Really, I wasn't sure how long I walked before someone pulled up to the side of the road and asked if I needed a ride.

I nodded, and climbing in the stranger's vehicle, asked for directions.

I wasn't sure where I was at first when asked to be released, but I thanked the driver anyway, and stumbled off awkwardly. I walked for a while before I realized I was on a highway.

The same one, from so long ago.

No wonder the driver had given me a strange look when I had asked to be let out here.

I walked to the ditch, the same one, and sunk into the cool earth, my days of being needed over.

Even if I wasn't very old, I felt like I'd lived for centuries too long.

Maybe, I thought, as I lied down and watched as it began to snow.

Maybe what? I didn't know.

There was nowhere left to go, now.

What had I done?

The snowflakes falling from the sky were thick like ash. They vanished as soon as they hit the ground.

I held out my palm.

As soon as the flakes touched my flesh, they turned to droplets of water, quivering in my palm.

They surrounded me, and even though they were a sad sight, each flake of cold moisture was so beautiful.

"Sango, I need to ask you... A question."

"Sure. About what?"

"About... Kagome. Who is she? What happened to her?"

Sango breathed in sharply.

"Kagome was InuYasha's girlfriend, they had been dating for four years. She was also the daughter of the wealthy Higurashi Publishing firm. I'm sure you've heard of it."

Indeed I had. Higurashi was one of Japan's largest publishing giants. Or, it had been, but they had gone bankrupt a few years ago.

"So anyway," Sango continued, her usual smile not present,"When her family's business went under, her father committed suicide out of shame. And she just left."

"Left?"

"She ran away, and nobody ever knew where she went. She didn't tell anyone, not even InuYasha. He was really broken up about it for a long time. Really bad anger management issues."

After a few moments, I returned from my memory of that day, when I had gone shopping with Sango.

I lied on my back on the cool ground. All I could see was an endless loop of every day of my life since I had met InuYasha, and the look on his face when he saw her again. Well, after I finally brought myself to look at his face, that is.

He was so relieved to know that she was alright, and he didn't need me anymore. I was just a replacement.

I remember an old doll that I had kept as a child... A tiny firgure that I clutched in my hands when I was scared, a good luck charm to chase away the evil demons that I always believed were lurking just outside my window.

But when I got older, and realized that I didn't believe in demons anymore, I simply lost the doll, forgetting all about it until this moment.

I was that doll now.

I laughed without humor as I realized where I was. Right back where this whole mess had started, in a snowstorm, the sides of the ditch rising up on either side of me.

And I didn't want to be found this time. I was too confused, just wanted to sleep. I was sure that things would be better this way anyway.

I heard Naraku`s cruel voice echoing in the back of my mind, wondered how I had strayed so far from the place I had been in back then.

Maybe it was that voice that led me here, right now.

But, I realized, maybe the mess had started long before that night, when I had first been in this spot. Maybe it had always been there, under the surface, waiting to claw free.

I closed my eyes, welcoming the same feeling from before, the wish for sleep. It was so cold. If I fell asleep, I might not wake up.

I drifted into the darkness, knowing that while many happy chapters would remain to the stories of those I was still continuing to leave behind, mine would end here, cold, envious, and bitter.

This was it, no one should care if I don't come back this time. Really.

So, then, why wasn't I surprised when I felt warm arms around me?

CH.14/END

Okay, so I wrote this chapter a reeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time ago, like, after I first started this story, and modified it to fit with the details I added in other chapters.

When I was writing this, I tried to force my mind into a state of confusion and panic, and then asked my self `Would you be able to make a rational decision like this?` Probably not, so I made Kikyo make some pretty quick and irrational judgments, because she feels like she had been trying to steal the place of someone else, questions where she really belongs, and gets herself into a huge mess. I just wanted to explain all of that, in case any of you are ready to kill me right about now, or if you are just wanted to know why I wrote this chapter the way I did.

The next (and final) chapter will be up soon, probably sometime next week. I hope that you check it out!

Thank you so, so much for reading this. I am so grateful for all the support and criticism that I have received, and hope that you were able to enjoy this chapter.

Until next time.

-Massie