A/N: I bet this is the chapter you've all been waiting for lol. HERE IT IS! WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD!
Our walk back was in silence, and if I thought it was bad before, it was a thousand times worse now. I could tell he wasn't in the greatest of moods after seeing Digs, and I was a little shaken about what they both claimed. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me. I never wanted anyone to get hurt at all, and so far three of the people closest to me have. If things keep going like this it would only be a matter of time until someone else ends up dead; all because they're trying to keep me safe. Enough, I thought. No more. It was then that a crazy idea popped into my head. An idea that should've made me scared to the bone, but for some reason didn't faze me. If I gave myself over to Scar, then all the fights and beatings of the newsies, my friends, would stop. No one else would have to get hurt…
"So," Spot said loud enough to get my attention. "What was it youse wanted to tell me?" I looked at him confused as to what he was asking but he just looked ahead, hands casually in his pocket. I guess my silence cued him to explain. "Writer said youse left 'em at the rally to find me. What was it youse wanted to say?" At that second my nerves kicked into overdrive as my face started to get hot.
"Oh…that…" I started. Spot then turned to face me and stopped. It was then that I realized we were already back to the lodging house.
"Well?" I guess now's a better time than ever, I thought as I mentally prepared myself.
"I wanted to say that…that I was sorry." That took him by surprise. "I realized that youse was right, to keep all that from me. I was too focused on me to even think that you, or any of the Brooklyn newsies, could have just as strong a bond with Danny, and since youse never showed your true emotions, I just thought youse never cared for him. It was because of that, that I treated you so cruelly, and for that I'm sorry." I could feel the tears start to prick at my eyes, and Spot could clearly see that I was on the verge of a breakdown, so he placed his hands on my shoulders and moved us into the side alley.
"It's ok Lucks," he said firmly trying to get his point across. "What, youse thought I's didn't know what I was signing up for when I decided to look after youse?"
"Don't youse mean, when Gunner told youse to look after me?" I said with a slight smile.
"No," he said in all seriousness, which made my smile disappear. "I's mean when I became leader. I swore to myself to protect everyone who lives in the lodgin' house, and that includes you." I didn't know what to think after he said that. A part of me was surprised he would have done that at all after the way I treated him. The other part of me was so emotional though. I didn't deserve to have him care about me. I had never even thought it was possible for him to care at all. But this one sentence, this changes everything I ever thought I knew about Spot. Maybe the King of Brooklyn did have a humane side to him. I snapped out of my thought when he touched his thumb to my cheek.
"Why youse cryin'?" he wondered with a slightly tilted head.
"I've known you for years but never took the time to really get to know you," my voice sounded young as I tried to hold back my tears. "You shouldn't care about me, I'm a horrible person." The more I talked the more emotional I got. Maybe it was because of what I promised to myself. It was tearing me apart knowing that I would at some point have to leave him.
"You aren't horrible…"
"Why do you care?" It sounded harsh but I need to know. It looked like he tensed up a bit and straightened up before answering.
"Because youse made me care." Everything around us felt like it was miles away. Suddenly it was just him and me, no other noises sounded, no other peopled were near; just us. "Ever since you started livin' here youse made me care more an more."
"I thought you hated me when I first got here?"
"Youse should know by now I ain't the best at speakin' my feelings." There was more silence again, some tension building between us. The level of my vulnerability climbed higher and higher; I wanted so badly to embrace him.
"Spot," it was hard to talk without bursting into sobs. "I'm so sorry!" In a flash I felt his strong arms around me as he held me tight to his chest. I clung to his shirt like my life depended on it before he pulled me back. I was about to question him but stopped when I saw his face. He looked so sincere and dare I say it, passionate.
"Spot…" he cut me off by giving me a forceful and lustful kiss. At that moment I completely lost touch with reality. All I knew was that Spot Conlon was kissing me, and I wasn't upset about it. I knew he wasn't going to dump me for another girl like he's done so many other times. I knew I was going to be more than a "one nighter", as the boys called them. I knew this meant something to not only him, but to the both of us. Without hesitation my arms flew around his body as I kissed him back with just as much force as he. At some point he picked me up, my legs around his hips, walked us inside the lodging house, and up the stairs to one of our rooms. I was so caught up in our embrace to even notice until he landed on top of me on the bed. His hand was quick to find its way to my left breast as he trailed kisses down my jaw to my neck.
It felt like I was on fire, every inch of me burning for more of Spot's gently yet rough touches. With my back slightly arched, I pulled at his shirt hoping he'd get the hint that I wanted it off. He glanced at me and gave his signature smirk as he unbuttoned my blouse first. Once that was off I did his shirt, rather impatiently, and he attached himself back to my neck as I wrapped my arms around his back. A moan rushed out from my mouth and made my nerves go on end. I had never experienced this before, so I suddenly became embarrassed with my sudden outburst. Spot only gave a small chuckle as he worked his way down to get my skirt off, occasionally placing kisses as he went.
"Youse ain't got nothin to be embarrassed about," he said sternly as he took my skirt off. I knew he had already lost his virginity a long time ago, and he sure as hell knew that he was going to be my first, so whatever he said I swore to myself I would believe. I was done doubting him and thinking he's always wrong. I was done not fully believing in him. With a fierce blush on my face I nodded in response. For some reason I suddenly had a surge of courage flow through me and I smiled playfully as I flipped us over. It felt nice to straddle him, to be in charge for once. I knew it wasn't going to last long so I quickly pulled him up to get his undershirt off and pushed him back down to kiss him, my hands on his chest.
"I wasn't done yet," he practically growled as he turned us back over. I just giggled in response as he pulled my underwear off. I was about to get shy again as he opened my legs apart, but he gave me a look which made me relax. He left a trail of kisses down my leg to my thigh and stopped to suck on my clit. As soon as he did my back arched again and I grabbed at anything I could to brace myself. My legs found their way to rest on his shoulders and curl onto his back, making sure he didn't lift to stop. I felt so close to releasing, and was about to until he paused and placed a finger in me. I shuddered at his touch and moaned out his name.
"Oh Spot." That seemed to only fuel him and he added another finger. He pumped them in and out until I climaxed. At which point he placed his fingers in his mouth and cleaned them off. I just smiled lustfully at the action and sat up on my elbows. Once he was done he pulled me up to the side of the bed and started working on getting his pants off. I took my bra off before helping him and pulled his long hard throbbing member out. For a moment I was shocked, all I could do was look at it. I had never seen on before and had a hard time thinking of how it would fit in me.
"What, what's wrong?" Spot asked. I almost laughed in my head because it sounded like he was suddenly self conscious, but I knew he was just worried that something was actually wrong with me.
"N-nothing…it's just…so big…" I hesitated and stuttered out of shyness. Spot only laughed in response and started stroking it. Practically mesmerized I decided to take over, and put my tongue on his tip. He let out a quick sigh. It made me shiver again hearing him start to moan under my touch. I never knew I could have this effect on someone let alone Spot, and I craved for more. I put as much of him in my mouth I could fit and stroked the rest with my hand and waited for his moaning to ensue. It was like music to my ears and pushed my to move faster and suck harder. He nearly doubled over and gently pushed me away.
"Whoa, I ain't ready for that yet," he panted. "Move down." He instructed as he climbed on top of me again. Once my head was on a pillow he spread my legs and inched up so he could rub himself on me. It felt so good, but I knew the painful part was soon to come; he was just preparing me.
"I'll go slow," he promised looking me in the eye. I nodded and then felt his tip begin to enter me. Out of nervousness I started to tense up. "Relax, it'll feel better if youse relax," he soothed me with a nice kiss and resumed entering. It hurt more than I expected but then he stopped moving and stayed still. "I'm in," he rasped. "I's won't move till youse is ok." I brought him in for another long kiss.
"I'm ready," I whispered. He started slowly going back and forth, in and out of me. Soon the painfulness was dulled and gone and replaced with a pure euphoric sensation.
"Faster," I moaned as I pulled him even closer to me. He obliged and moaned in response. We went on for what felt like hours, occasionally flipping and turning back and forth. I came first and let out probably the loudest moan I ever let out, Spot came second making sure he pulled out first. With everything that was going on, we certainly didn't need a baby in the mix. We ended up spooning each other, Spot's arm laid gently around my waist. It wasn't long until I heard his light snores when I knew he was asleep. It's time, I thought. I carefully got out of bed and quickly changed into some comfortable clothes. I was at the door when I stopped and looked back. I should leave a note…just something so he doesn't go crazy. I found a piece of paper and wrote the first thing that came to mind. I placed the note on the bureau and slipped out the door. The cool night air made what happened only hours ago feel like it was ages ago. The passionate afternoon and evening turned into the eerie night as I made my way down the street; as I made my way to Scar.
A/N: And Lucks is no longer a virgin haha. I hope I did the first intimate scene well! I don't think I'm good at writing them, and I'm sorry about the end. I realized as I was writing that it was starting to get long and I was running out of things to say lol. I hope you all liked it though! Also HogwartsNewise92- That's so funny, and no you're not old! Haha. I hope I did a good job with this chapter! And I love when people (Ok I'll be more specific...GUYS) are vulnerable. It makes me love them so much more haha
Please leave a review, I really appreciate them!
New Chapter Next Week!