Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters.
Title: Love is a Funny thing
Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Summary: Read and find out.
Author's Note: This is my first LOTS fanfiction, so if it sucks, I apologize.
Author's Note 2: Kahlan doesn't know about the deal with Darken Rahl, but trust me that will come back up. :)
Chapter Fourteen: I thought I Knew You
~Kahlan's POV
When I met Richard I thought he would be the only one who could make me feel this way. Both in love and in pain, that he would be the only one that could make me feel so much love I couldn't breathe and yet be the one who could cause me the greatest pain. But I was wrong. Cara, Mord'Sith, she is the one that is the cause of my pain now. Not only did she go behind my back and kidnap one of my council members thus making me sentence her to death by confession, she had Zedd cast a spell so my confession would in fact kill her, when both of us know that it wouldn't kill her if he had not cast the spell. Things between us have been weird, ever since that day at the Temple, when she had been killed only momentarily by my hand. Which makes me wonder if Darken Rahl said something to her, if he had caused her to doubt something within herself or our relationship. If he did I would bring him back to like myself just so I'll be able to kill him again for ever making Cara doubt who she has become and what she means to me.
But then again Cara has never been one to doubt who she is. So I know there is nothing he could have done to have caused this type of reaction in her. This sudden change in her that has not only caused her to act recklessly behind my back but also to lie to me. Cara may be many think, but a lair is not one of them, she always tells the truth, even if it hurts. It was part of her Mord'Sith training, or so she used to say when we asked her why she said such things. But when other people would ask her why she would say such mean things she would just tell them it was the truth and she didn't like to lie. Cara didn't like talking about her Mord'Sith training, or breaking whatever you want to call it. She only spoke of it with me, when we traveled alone, she said I was the only one she trusted, and she only trusted me because I am the Mother Confessor. She used to say she trusts me because we are supposed to be enemies but we are not. I never asked her what she meant by that because I knew she would never explain it to me.
"Mother Confessor?" Looking up from where I am sitting I see Rikka walking through the door. I half expected to see Cara come walking through the door.
"She left didn't see," I when I notice the look on her face, Mord'Sith were taught to not show emotion, but I've noticed that the more the Mord'Sith stay here, the more emotion they seem to show. And I can tell by the look on her face that there is something she needs to tell me. And seeing her instead of Cara I know it has something to do with the women I love. "Is she coming back?" I ask, almost scared to know the answer.
"Of course she is Mother Confessor," she says walking over and taking a seat beside me on the bed. "You really think she could just leave you?" she asks me. I just look away from her, ashamed to admit it. "You really don't know her at all." She says getting up off the bed.
"I know her better than you think," I say getting up, angry.
"Then you would know she would never leave unless it was completely necessary." She says walking up to me. "Cara knows what her duty is, and she will do whatever she needs to do to complete her mission." She explained.
"Cara has no mission," I say, standing right up to her.
"You're wrong Mother Confessor," she says placing her hand on my midsection. "She does." With that she turns and leaves my chambers. Once again I am alone with my thoughts. Cara and I did not get off on the right foot when we first met. I didn't trust her and she knew it, and in turn she did everything she could to prove her faithfulness to me. And every day she did. I place my hand on my stomach, closing my eyes, I think of Cara, the one who helped me create this life growing inside me.
"Why did you do this to me," I silently ask Cara, knowing there is no way I'd get an answer. "You know how I feel about killing people and confessing people and you made me do both to you," I say walking around the room, having this silent argument with myself. "You should have known better, you knew I'd be mad, that's why you refused to tell me," I pause stopping in front of my mirror. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you."
...
Night fell on Aydindril and as the moon light spilled into my chambers I finished lacing up my traveling outfit. Cara can't be more than a day's ride ahead of me, so it shouldn't take me to long to catch up to her. She isn't going to like the idea of me riding through the midlands while being with child. But then again she doesn't have a say, this is my body and my decision. And after everything she did to me these part couple of days, she shouldn't even put up a fight.
"Care to explain what you're doing?" Looking behind me I see Rikka walking towards me.
"You are like an annoying little fly," I say lacing the last of my outfit. "I'm going to find Cara." I say simply as if it should explain everything.
"No. You are not." She says placing a hand on my arm, stilling my movements.
"She is the one I love," I say yanking my arm away from her. "My place is by her side."
"No. Your place is here in Aydindril." She says.
I know she is right, that my rightful place is here in Aydindril, and that they need me here. But when Richard was traveling the Midlands I vowed to stay by his side no matter what, so why shouldn't that be the same when it comes to Cara? "I have to go." I say turning fully to look at her. "You can either come with me, or watch me go alone, which do this Cara would prefer?" I asked smirking.
"She will kill me for going with you."
She's right. "She will kill you for letting me go alone." I counter.
...
Riding out of the city of Aydindril I can see the looks on everyone's face. The question look about whether or not I will return, and why am I fleeing the city with someone other than the woman I choose as my mate, the one's whose child I am carrying. Also I well aware on what this trip will do for the health of my child, and the risks that I am bringing upon myself. But I do know that life without Cara is not a life I want to live. Although I know she will return, I just want her hear by my side, again, where she belongs.
"She's going to kill me," Rikka says as she rides up beside me. "You don't know Cara when she's angry," she says.
"Cara and I have had our fair share of fights," I say looking at her out of the corner of my eye.
"That does not mean you have seen her when she's angry," she snaps, but while I look at her I notice she bites back her snappiness, just as Cara used to do when first began traveling with one another. "You and Cara have had fights, but she has never truly been angry with you," she explains. "She could never been angry with you Mother Confessor," she says honestly.
I don't say anything, and I don't bother fighting with her because I know she is right. Cara, even when I thought for sure she'd leave me after one of our fights, has never been more than simply disappointed in me. Never once have I seen her angry. Even when we were traveling together, and she knew I hated her, she never once got angry. Never once raised her voice to me. And when the time called for her to shoot me down, she couldn't.
She told Zedd that she was afraid that she couldn't bring me back and that's why she didn't shoot me. She didn't want to risk it and for that I am grateful. But later, when we came to be what we are now, lovers, she told me the real reason she didn't shoot me that day. It wasn't because she didn't think she could bring me back, it was because she didn't want to risk the trust we had created for one another. She didn't want to feel the heartache of losing the one she loved.
That was the first time she told me she loved me. We had been in Aydindril for a little over a month and no word had come from Richard and I had been missing him and she was there for me. She never questioned her place in all of this, that she needed to be by my side to protect me from everyone and everything that was trying to kill me. And it was a long list. I never doubted that she would always be there for me. But then again I knew that there was no future for the two of us, there was no way she could give me a child. Well at least that's what I thought at the time. Also I knew Aydindril would not accept her as my mate. And once again I was proven wrong.
Aydindril did accept her. The accepted her more than I ever thought possible. That is always why I knew that when she kidnapped the council member, it wasn't a decision she came across lightly. I knew she fought with the decision, because she knew that she would be risking the trust she had earned among the people of Aydindril. "Mother Confessor?" I turn slightly to look at Rikka. She was someone I didn't know very well. She doesn't talk; she only does what Cara says. Also I don't know why Rikka is one of Cara's most trusted, but then again I do not know why. "Don't be mad at Mistress Cara for her decisions, she does only what she believes is best," she explains.
"And what she believes is best is lying to the woman she supposedly loves," I say not backing down from the challenge. What Cara did was wrong, and I want people to see it, she should not have lied to me.
"Supposedly loves?" She laughs slightly, a very rare sound. "Mistress Cara loves you more than anyone has ever loved anyone."
"What would you know about it?" I ask her, Rikka is a Mord'Sith and I know she does not know of love or its power.
"You're right Mother Confessor, I do not know of love," she says. "But I do know Mistress Cara." She stops her horse and I stop mine besides hers letting our horses drink from the stream. "She has never protected someone the way she protects you." She says. "Not even Lord Rahl or Darken Rahl," she pauses.
"That's just protection," I say continuing on.
"For a Mord'Sith," she says reaching out and placing her hand on my arm. "Protection is the way we show our love," with that she rides ahead of me.
...
"We don't even know where she went," Rikka complains as we make camp. She is collecting wood for the fire and I am currently rolling out my bed cloths. "How are we supposed to find her if we don't know where she went?" She asks sitting down besides the fire giving up.
"I'm pretty sure I know where she went," I say kneeling before the fire she tried building. She looks up at me as a small spark comes to life under my fingers. "You think I don't know the woman I love," I say raising my eyebrow and smirking. "There is only one place Cara would go," I pause. "If she thinks I am mad at her." I finish standing up and letting the fire grow on its own. Slowly I hand Rikka a little bowl of fruit that I found, as I wait for the fire to build so that I can cook the rabbits she hunted.
"Then enlighten me Confessor, where did she go," she says popping and blueberry into her mouth and rolling her eyes.
"Stowcroft," I say to her and she looks at me confused. "It is the last place Cara went when Richard told her to leave us. It is where her sister lives. The only problem is that last time she went there they all tried to kill her for the wrongful acts done by her The Sisters of the Agiel in the past," I explain.
"So when we get there we might find Cara..." she trails off.
"Imprisoned," I explain. "Last time they wanted her to die by confession, ironically," I say smirking. "So they will wait until they come across a confessor before they kill her." I explain. "If they even go that far, last time I was there I said no harm was to come to her because she was remorseful, now unless they defy me, then she should be fine," I finish.
"Should be?" She asks. "Mother Confessor, do you not fear that she is dead?" She asks curiously.
"No," I kneel down, putting the sticks in place so I can roast the rabbit. If she is anything like Cara I am not going to let her cook the only meal we have. "I would know if she was dead." I explain.
"How?"
"I would feel it," I answer. "Here," I place my hand over my heart. "I would know if something happened to her because I have given my heart to her and she has given hers to me. I would know," I say not only trying to convince her but also myself.
...
~Cara's POV
"Why are you here?" He asks me as I come walking up beside him. I know I'm the last person he expected to see, and I'm sure I'm the last person he wanted to see. Him and I haven't been on speaking terms, since everything happened that day in the forest. When Kahlan choose me over him sometimes I wonder if Kahlan regrets the choice she made. Sometimes I wonder myself if Richard would have been a better father to the child growing within her. I know Richard and I know he never would have put Kahlan through what I did, or even what I haven't put her through...yet.
Richard never would have made that deal with Darken Rahl. "I need your help," I say honestly coming up beside him with my hands clasps behind my back, looking out over the city of D'Hara. "I did something extremely stupid, I need a way out of it." I explain.
"Zedd explained to me what you did," he says turning to look at me. "What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?" He asks walking away from me. "After traveling and living with Kahlan you know better than anyone about how she feels when it comes to confessing people. And to have her confess you, the person she loves," he pauses. "C'mon Cara she couldn't even do it when she found out you killed her sister, and Stowcroft wanted you dead."
"I know but this..."
"Was important, yeah Zedd said that too." He looks at me and for the first time I don't see Richard looking at me I see Lord Rahl looking at me. "Kahlan's people will trust her more for her compassion than for her willingness to kill people," he says. "You don't live in D'Hara anymore Cara, Aydindril is ruled on compassion and law, not fear."
"I know that Richard."
"It's Lord Rahl," he says turning away from me and back towards the city. "I'm not saying this as your friend because you lost that honor when you stole Kahlan from me," he says and I want to challenge him but I know better. "I'm saying this as a ruler of a kingdom. Let Kahlan rule how she wants, people will respect her more if she does what she believes instead of what everyone else wants from her." Pausing he looks back at me. "She proved that by picked you, did she not?"
"She did." He doesn't say anything more he just turns back away from me and I take that as my cue to leave. I don't know where Richard and I went wrong in our friendship but I do hope one day he'll be able to forgive me. I mean it wasn't like I stayed in Aydindril in order to steal Kahlan from him; it was just something that happened. And he was the one that asked me to stay with her, to protect her. Slowly our friendship turned into love and neither one of us could help what happened between us.
Having Kahlan is worth loosing Richard.
Hopefully she sees it the same way.
...
Author's Note: I finally got this one done. I just bought season two so I was distracted. Reviews please!