Tony's jaw is slack. "What? Why? Why does Vance want me fired?"
"Because you aren't available as much. I'm not blaming you; nobody cares except him," McGee adds hastily. "But I guess… he's let it go until now, and he isn't happy that you've been gone all week."
Even as anger surges through his veins and he gestures wildly at Angelina, Tony manages to keep his voice low. "What the hell does he expect me to do? She's three. I can't leave her here alone."
McGee shrugs helplessly. "I don't know."
He starts to pace, running his fingers through his hair. "Shit. Shit."
"We don't know that anything's gonna happen, Tony. If Vance fired you himself, Gibbs would be pissed. And nobody wants a pissed off Gibbs."
The words barely register. He's too busy thinking over his options. The money Ziva left him is virtually untouched; he'd be fine for a while. He could find another government job, or a police department gig… "What am I gonna do? I need to work-"
McGee surprises them both by grabbing Tony's upper arms. "Stop. Just… cool it, okay? He'll fight for you."
Yeah. He knows. Gibbs would fight for any member of his team, even Richie. But now, as he remembers all the mornings he's arrived at work late and the evenings when he's had to rush out early, he wonders if he deserves it. As he opens his mouth to say so, an excited voice from behind them cries, "Uncle Timmy!"
"Hey," McGee says, dropping his hands to his sides. "How're you feeling?"
"Good. I go home 'morrow."
"Hopefully," Tony reminds her.
"I brought you something." McGee reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bag of jacks. "Here, look." He dumps the jacks onto her empty lunch tray and begins to demonstrate how to play while Angelina watches in fascination. Tony sinks back into his chair, heaves a deep sigh, and imagines how much easier his life would be if he followed Ziva's instructions and found somebody else.
Even so, he feels absolutely no obligation- or desire- to fulfill her wishes.
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Angelina does end up coming home the next day. Only when she's settled back into the apartment and things feel more normal does Tony realize how much he's missed having her here. Within two hours of returning, she is watching Dora and eating applesauce. He is supposed to monitor what she puts into her still-sensitive stomach, and he's also been instructed to "shove water down that child's throat as much as possible". Although she's fatigued and has a sore abdomen, she is on the mend.
She wants to sleep in his bed that night. The parenting book warns him not to allow this to become a habit (especially if the child already needs a parent in order to fall asleep, which Angelina does), but he can't recall her ever asking to sleep anywhere besides in her own room, and he doesn't see why she can't do it this one time. She comes bearing her own blanket, pillow, and stuffed animal, and climbs up onto the perpetually empty side of the bed. She hugs him around the waist. "Love you, Daddy."
"Love you too." Tony watches as she snuggles into her blanket. "I'm glad you're all better."
Her reply is incomprehensible. Half a minute later, her breathing evens out. He sighs, leaning over to kiss her forehead, and then lies down himself. The ceiling stretches above him, so dark that it could be an abyss. He kind of wishes it would suck him up. For a long, long time, he tosses and turns and changes positions. Angelina's soft breaths should be enough to lull him into at least a doze, but he is wide awake. When the clock reads 11:15- he's been at this for a long time- he finally crawls out of bed and wanders into the living room. Instead of turning on the TV, he flops into a chair. There's a plastic pony sitting at his feet; he picks it up and absentmindedly moves it across his lap in a gallop. Over time, his mind turns from Gibbs and Vance to Ziva. Ziva, who could be anywhere in the country. Anywhere in the world. She must have a job; there's no way she could still be getting by on what she took when she left. Has she had financial strains since leaving him her savings account? It would suck, he decides, for her to be all alone out there with no support system and no money. Or perhaps she isn't alone at all; maybe she has moved on. It's selfish, but he hates thinking about her with another man. He doesn't want her to create another family. He wants her to come back to this one.
Stop it, he tells himself, because the future of this family is exactly what he needs to be focusing on right now.
Tony glances at his cell phone. It's sitting on the coffee table and almost seems expectant. Before he's even aware of what he's doing, he's dialing. The gruff voice on the other end answers, "Yeah. Gibbs."
"Hey, Boss." He clears his throat. "What're you doing?"
"Talkin' to you."
"Right. Uh." Registering the impatience in Gibbs' voice, Tony rushes to get to the point, to explain why he's calling ten minutes before midnight. He isn't sure himself until he starts talking. "Okay, I guess… here's the deal. I have a job to do, and it's to raise my kid. That's… she has to be my priority. But you have a job to do, too. I get that. And if my obligations are interfering with your ability to conduct investigations-"
Gibbs interrupts him with a growl. "Damn it. I told McGee to keep his mouth shut."
"He thought I needed to know." Tony picks the pony up by its mane, swings it in a circle, then tosses it at the couch. "Boss, I appreciate what you're doing, but Vance has a point. I'm not the most present agent right now-"
"Vance has a wife who's always available to deal with their kids. He doesn't understand the demands placed on you. He also doesn't understand that you don't have to be the most present agent to be the best." Gibbs pauses, lets his words sink in. "And I'm not letting him take my best agent."
"You really don't have to-"
"Shut up before I change my mind, DiNozzo."
"Yes, Boss," Tony says quickly.
There is shuffling in the other room, and then Angelina calls drowsily, "Daddy?"
"I'll be right there, Ang. Go back to sleep." He starts to speak into the receiver again, but Gibbs beats him to it.
"You go to sleep, too. I better see you Monday morning." And the line goes dead.
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On Monday, Tony arrives early and hires a sitter for Angelina so that he can stay a bit later than usual. He is up to date by the time he leaves, and in the following days and weeks, he becomes extremely efficient. His chatter and laziness wane; he packs as much productivity as possible into the hours he spends at work. Often, he feels eyeballs drilling into the back of his head, and sometimes he turns in his seat to hold Vance's gaze. The director always looks away first, and Tony gets a sort of smug satisfaction from that.
Nobody brings up the possibility of him losing his job again, and eventually, he begins to relax. There is still a small force pushing him, though; it will not allow him to slack off anymore, to take his income for granted. Because if there's one thing he has learned in the past three years, it's that nothing is permanent.
Again… I just can't believe the response this story has gotten. WOW. You guys make my day. Thank you all so much!