Disclaimer: I own nothing but original characters.

Am feeling really inspired to write at the moment, even with final exams happening, so am back with a new chapter. Hope you all enjoy this one, thanks to everyone who has stuck with the story, means a lot that you're reading this.

Enjoy ;)

Emily

I found myself back inside Midnight, James stood beside me, his characteristic smile as wide as ever. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear his words. He didn't seem to notice as he continued rambling about something that made him laugh.

Out of nowhere the front of the Jaeger disappeared to reveal a monster standing several feet above us, an acidic substance dripping from its mouth, burning the ground around us. Its contorted face looked down on us; it was almost laughing at me, taunting me as its bulbous eyes were fixed on me.

Its purple limbs reached out and tore at the Jaeger, ripping James out and I felt the darkness crushing on me. I then realised I was drowning in darkness, cold filled my lungs, preventing me from breathing. I tried to cry out for help but nothing came out as I felt my body become too heavy to move.

Then I heard James's voice, telling me to just let go and join him in the darkness. Part of me wanted to end it right there but I struggled against the black. His face appeared to me, the smile still etched on his face. I tried to scream as it melted away, revealing the monster once more as it began to claw at my face, ripping into my body, tearing me apart slowly and painfully.

I jolted awake, my face dripping with sweat, my heart pumping through my chest as if it was trying to escape. The nightmares plagued me every night; unrelenting horror faced me every time I closed my eyes. It was two weeks since Mutavore attacked, two weeks since my life was changed forever, two weeks since I lost my best friend. Just thinking about him nearly had me on the floor, a broken mess of a person.

Chuck had tried to be there for me but I could feel myself withdrawing further inside myself, keeping him at arm's length at all times. It wasn't by choice, it was just my natural reaction to loss, I had too much experience of that. In the last few days he had taken to sleeping in his old room, unable to watch my despair as I constantly woke, screaming in pain but unwilling to let him help.

I looked over at the clock to see it was 6:30 in the morning; I knew I couldn't go back to sleep, I couldn't face the dreams again. I slowly crept out of bed, stripping out of my sodden clothes and putting on fresh ones. I looked in the mirror and was horrified at what I saw staring back at me.

Her face was pale, drawn out with dark circles surrounding dull blue eyes. She looked tired, sadness overwhelmed her features, making her look exhausted and ailing. I couldn't believe that girl was me. I tied my hair into a loose ponytail, wiping the sweat from my neck as I headed out the metal door.

I wasn't sure where I was heading, my feet moved without effort as I let my body guide me to wherever it wanted. It took me a second to realise where I was; standing before me was hulk of black metal, half seeming to be missing and the other half was covered in scratches. Looking at the fallen Jaeger, tears threatened to fall as sorrow filled my heart. Losing this Jaeger would be like giving up a part of myself, it was the only thing I had left of my father. They weren't sure if they could save her after all the damage she was dealt.

I heard footsteps behind me before the thick Australian accent followed. "Brought you a coffee." Herc spoke, coming to sit beside me, handing me the steaming cup. "I saw you come out here." My eyes welled up so I kept my eyes to the ground, unwilling to let him see. I felt his hand on my shoulder, his presence drawing my head up to look at him.

"Thanks." I replied weakly, voice trembling.

"She was so beautiful. It's a real shame to see her like this." He spoke, eyes turning to the ruined Jaeger.

"She was all I had left of my father, all I have left of the life before the Kaiju, all I have left of the little girl who wanted to go to the park and play on swings, grow up and find a nice man to marry. The innocent girl who dreamed of the adventures life would bring. That life is gone now and that Jaeger was all I had of it." I found myself saying, tears rolling down my cheek. "When she's gone that part will be lost forever."

Herc's arm wrapped around me as I started to cry into his shoulder, no longer concerned with keeping the emotions to myself. This was probably the first time anyone had seen me cry, something I swore I would never let happen.

"You know, I lost my wife when this all started." Herc began to speak. "When she died I sort of lost myself and it was Chuck who suffered. The only thing I have left of her is my son and im losing him." I looked up to see tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault Herc." I offered, my tears drying as he opened up. "You saved him, he might not show it but I know he loves you. He's just looking for someone to blame." I took a sip of the hot coffee as we sat in silence, both feeling a small weight was lifted.

"Im lucky to have met you Emily, Chuck's lucky." He gave me a small smile which I returned. "Have you heard? Their still focussing all efforts on the Wall so the remaining Jaegers are being taken to Hong Kong while the Wall is being completed." My smile dropped at that. How could they still think the Wall was a good idea?

"Any idea when we're being called over?" I asked, forgetting about my nightmares for a moment.

"Soon is all I know. Pentecost managed to convince the powers that be that it was still worth keeping a few Jaegers active but our time is limited." He replied.

"Damn." Was all I could say.

Pacing around my room, I couldn't stop thinking about what Herc had said. They were recalling all the Jaegers to Hong Kong, one last attempt to keep the Kaiju at bay. If my Jaeger wasn't beyond repair, there was still a chance I could pilot again.

Could I do it again though? Could I go back inside and relive the events that tore me apart? Even if they could find someone who was drift compatible with me, could I go back inside another person's head again? Those questions haunted me; since the Kaiju took my parents from me all I wanted to do was fight back, to avenge my family and take back a small piece of me every time I killed one. Now I was faced with a choice: to relive the horrors and continue my life's goal or to give in to the fear and watch as Chuck goes out there without me. No, the choice was made long ago. I was meant for a Jaeger.

Chuck

"You want to do what?!" I all but screamed as Emily told me her plans.

"I've spoken to Marshall Pentecost, they've got an excellent team over there and my Jaeger should be back to almost perfect in no time at all. I have to do this Chuck, I can't let my family down, I can't let James down." Her eyes pleaded with me but I shook my head, unwilling to believe she was ready to risk her life once again.

"You're not ready. You almost died out there, you lost control and James died! How can you just go back to it like nothing happened?" It came out harsher than intended, a hurt look in her eyes.

"You're making it sound like he died because of me! I need to get back out there, I can't keep living with the memories haunting me, I have to do something." She cried out.

"I didn't mean it like that. I get it, but what happens if the memories overload you out there and someone else gets killed because of it. James wouldn't want that." Her eyes turned hard.

"Don't tell me what he would want. I knew him better than anyone else and he'd want me to be out there, doing what I do best, not moping around here while you get all the glory." She spat at me.

"I can't let you do this." I replied firmly, I nearly lost her once, I couldn't go through that again.

"You…what? Can't let me do this? I wasn't asking your permission." She looked at me in disbelief, shocked and hurt by my words.

"I didn't mean…" I tried but she cut me off.

"No, I get it, I know exactly what you're saying. If you really feel like that then we're done." She spoke, walking away before I had a chance to reply, left standing in the corridor, crushed by what had just happened.

I know I should have gone after her, explained how it was only because she meant so much to me that I couldn't risk her life, that I needed her so much that I couldn't lose her but I stayed where I stood, realising that everything we had was gone. If she was going to risk her life I couldn't be there to see her die, I had to cut myself off from it.