Chapter 14: Making Amends

WARNING! Contains mature content, please be respectful! This chapter has been edited from its first draft.

Lily sat up sluggishly and looked around. In an instant Thorin marched to her side and kneeled. His eyes rushed over her features trying to establish her condition. "Are you alright?" He asked in a gentle, gravely whisper. His heart raced at the sight of those ocean blue eyes blinking at him with a slight fear and hesitation. He knew it was not him she was afraid of, she was merely coming to, but it stung never-the-less.

As she realized who the voice belonged to Lily finally nodded groggily. She looked around her in surprise at the bustling camp, when suddenly everyone else noticed she was awake. All eyes were on her in silence. Thorin looked around at his company for a moment before realizing once again how it must look. He quickly stood up and commanded his men,

"Bombur, bring her food and water. Oin, check that she is well." His tone was strong and commanding, and concealing his true feelings well. He stiffly walked away from her, glowering at anyone who dared to look at him. He then sat down at the far end of the camp, leaning back against the rocks, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. All he really wanted to do was find a soft grassy patch and tenderly make love to her, for he so nearly lost her today, but his pride and position stopped him. However, he did not realize how his actions made Lily feel, he was so consumed in his own image towards his men that his usual care for her had slipped slightly. He was suddenly cold and distant amongst these other dwarves. Was he ashamed of her?

They all rushed about her, giving her food and drink, asking her name and checking her vitals. Soon she was helped to the fire to join the company where she learned their names. During it all her eyes kept going back to Thorin. Why was he ignoring her? Gandalf watched the whole scene with interest from the rock where he was sitting, smoking his pipe.

No matter what was happening amongst the others who were now laughing and drinking merrily, Thorin kept his distance, half in the shadows. He would pace about with his arms folded when he was not on his rock, and every now and again Lily would catch those ice blue eyes observing her before briskly looking away. Did he now think she was soiled because of the orcs? She swallowed hard and looked down into the fire, her face taking on a grim appearance. Bilbo, who was sitting next to her noticed with concern.

"My lady, are you alright? You're not still feeling too weak are you?" He asked gently. Lily looked into his kind face with tears beginning to well in her eyes. She gave him a meek smile before rising up and walking away from the fire, and past Thorin into the darkness.

Everyone stopped laughing and drinking and all eyes fell on the brooding Thorin. Even Gandalf stopped smoking his pipe and held it in his hand, observing the dwarf king. Thorin's eyes darted around with a cold stare at his company before he silently rose, arms still folded, and slowly followed Lily into the dark.

When he was far enough away from the camp he began to call after Lily,

"Lily, wait!" His booming voice was coarse in his command, it echoed around the hills. She did not slow her march into a thicket just behind the tree line. "LILY!" Thorin barked again, this time louder, causing her to stop and turn.

By the look in her eyes he knew it was time to face what he had done. He finally marched up to within inches of her and reached out a hand to caress her face, from which she pulled away.

"I know you're angry with me…" Thorin began in a low, gentle tone, the timber giving her goosebumps despite her anger. His eyes were locked on the grass, "You must understand –" He tried to explain, but was quickly cut off.

"Understand?!" Lily said in a sharp tone, "What is there to understand? You did EXACTLY what I said you would do in the shed! You tried to avoid your guilt with gifts and then when you had slunk away into the night you felt your conscience was clear, and your lust had also been sated!" Lily's voice was laced with bitterness and sadness, quivering every so often.

Thorin's eyes locked on hers in silence, watching them awash in pain. The tears now began to spill over as she looked into his handsome face which she still loved, despite how she now felt.

"I was not trying to buy my way out of any guilt. I was trying to show you my love." Thorin said softly, his eyes never leaving hers. "I left you behind because this journey is too perilous, as you have now witnessed," he said gently caressing her bruised cheekbone, "and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you." He said, swallowing hard, "This is already more than I can bear!" His voice broke towards the end, and Lily finally realized he meant it.

"Then what was your plan? Were you ever going to come back for me?" She asked with a tinge of pain and doubt. Thorin stepped in closer to her and cupped her face in his strong hand,

"Of course. I planned to come to claim my queen as soon as my kingdom was secure once more…" The words seemed to die on his lips and his attitude and stance quickly changed into one of frustration, "Can't you see, as I stand before you now I have nothing to give you, no kingdom, no wealth, no title of any real worth..." Thorin spat with a tinge of shame and hurt pride, pleading with his eyes to make her understand his need for the quest. He searched her face cautiously for an answer.

"You think any of that matters to me? You think I need a kingdom in order for me to love you? Or some kind of grand title?" Lily's eyes were ablaze in disbelief at the thought, her lips simply uttered soundlessly for a few seconds as she tried to grasp his words.

Thorin stepped into her quickly, his face mere inches from her own as he spoke barely above a tender whisper, "You deserve all the riches this world has to offer, and I would feel like a failure if I could not provide you with the comforts you need…" he gently stroked her face as he tried to make her understand.

Lily roughly pushed his hand away and stepped back a pace or two, "What kind of woman do you take me for, Thorin Oakenshield? Do I seem to you one who needs such treasures? Comforts? You know what comforts me? Your arms! Your chest; feeling it rise and fall beneath me as I lay upon it, and hearing that strong heartbeat…" her last word almost a whimper. "I would not have cared if we had married in the mud of Bree and lived together in that smithy's shack for the rest of our days, because then at least you'd be there!" She cried out passionately, bending over with the exertion and clutching her chest which felt like it might explode with pain.

Thorin panicked at the state of his love, his eyes widened and he stepped forward to take her in his arms. Her hand flew out in front of her as she faintly cried out, "No!" She backed up ever so slightly, tears streaming down now and her face wrenched with pain.

"You have to believe me, I would not have left you if I was not forced to!" Thorin said in a loud and desperate voice, a slight quiver evident, "I know you do not need such decadence, but I need to give it to you, it is a matter of my pride!-" He rushed out, but Lily's head snapped up at those words and she spat out,

"Your pride?" her face now showed evident anger, "What about my heart?" Her voice was now overcome with emotion, she could not face him any longer and turned to walk back into the darkness.

Thorin marched determinedly behind her into the darkness, finally seizing her arm and spinning her around to face him. Her whimpers and cries pierced him, as did the pain on her tear-streaked face. What a fool he had been, all of her agony was his doing. He pulled her towards him, and at first she resisted heavily, pulling away and wildly crying out, "No! Let me go!" But Thorin could feel her weakening.

The moment stirred him so deeply, something about the way she was, their fight, the passion between them, he could not control himself, he pulled her in roughly to his chest, his one arm holding her firmly around the waist while his other grabbed her behind the head and pulled her towards his burning lips. All thoughts of the courtship had seemed to vanish from his mind, but it had not from Lily's. She writhed slightly, but Thorin did not relent. His kisses were like fire, and his strong tongue firmly demanded entry, and Lily knew she could no longer resist.

It was so deep and passionate, she felt herself melting into him, she began to feel safe again. Thorin seemed to pick up on this, as his kisses became even more passionate and urgent. He pulled her in closer, pressing his body into hers, his tongue continuously forcing entry into her mouth and firmly grappling with her own, massaging fervently.

Lily's little moan of pleasure made Thorin crack. He swiftly lifted her into his arms and went deeper into the thicket, throwing down his thick coat as a blanket, and then he laid Lily on top. Thorin stripped himself in front of her, revealing his muscular body fully in the moonlight. Lily shivered with pleasure at the thought of what was to come, despite her anger, she knew she could never resist him. Her eyes raced over his muscles, twitching with desire, until finally they landed on his throbbing member. A thick vein was throbbing on the side, and Lily felt her own core tremble with need.

Thorin then lay himself on top of her, assaulting her mouth mercilessly once more as his hands began to undo her dress, quickly finding their way to her breasts beneath, massaging the soft mounds, and firmly squeezing her nipples, causing her to moan and arch ever so slightly. Thorin groaned his desire into her mouth, the vibrations of which made her core wet, and as though he knew this, he began to lift the hem of her skirt, his hand roughly pulling down her underwear, and then trailing to her core.

His strong fingers ran through her black curls to her aching core, dipping a finger into her slick sex. Lily broke from the kiss to give out a cry of passion, which made Thorin groan. He then looked down at his hand beneath her hem, massaging her firmly, and then looked back into her eyes, with the glazed look of lust in his eyes.

"Oh Thorin…"She faintly whimpered. Hearing her say his name was an aphrodisiac, and with a grunt of lust, Thorin swiftly replaced his fingers with his member, teasing her folds with the tip, to which Lily moaned and raised her hips to meet him. He lost all control and thrust into her with a growl almost animalistic. She responded with a sensual moan.

Thorin began to pound into her, the events of the day all rushing to him, the thought of almost having lost her, of her almost being violated, it made him feel even more possessive. He pressed her hand into the ground with his own, lacing his fingers in hers as his eyes locked on her face over-come with passion. She needed him, despite her earlier attempts to get away from him, she did not deny him. Her moans and cries only heightened his urgency.

"You are mine." He said in a low, gravely tone between grunts of passion, "I will always keep you safe, and I will always find you..." He said as his voice was over-come with passion and turned into a growl. His thrusting became harder and faster and Lily arched into him willfully. Thorin grabbed hold of her hips, his eyes never leaving her face as he watched her crash into her climax, her mouth forming a perfect 'o' as her brows creased with a cry of pure pleasure. Thorin then roared his own release into her, breathing heavily after the waves subsided.

Thorin then gently kissed Lily for several minutes, running his hands all over her body. Relief was coursing through him, his love was safe and in his arms again. After a few minutes Lily stopped him and looked him squarely in the eyes, and Thorin knew there was something wrong again.

"Why did you not come to me at the camp? Why were you avoiding me and being so cold?" Lily asked, her voice quivering a little with pain.

"I…" Thorin suddenly found he had no logical reason other than his pride and his image. His eyes wandered around trying to make sense of it even to himself.

"Are you ashamed of me…?" Lily finally asked, this time not masking the pain.

Thorin's eyes darted to her face, "Never!" He said gruffly.

"Then why did you behave that way?" She asked sternly, her eyes now fierce.

"I… I…" Thorin found he could give no answer, and his eyes searched her face for help, but he found none. Lily then roughly pushed Thorin off and tried to get up. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her back firmly to his chest.

"Let me go!" Lily said through angry tears.

"No! Not until you let me explain!" He said in a commanding voice.

"Then explain!" Lily yelled as she wriggled against his strong arms.

"My men do not know the nature of our relationship, and I do not think they need to know. It is our business and no one else's." Thorin's gravely tone spoke into her neck. Lily seemed to calm down at this explanation.

"How can you make me your queen when you don't even want your men to know about us?" Lily asked softly.

"They will know, when the time is right. Lily, you were not even meant to be here, you will be a distraction-"

"A distraction to your men?" Lily asked indignantly.

"No! To me!" He grunted into her neck, his lips gently tracing along the curve. "This quest is of the utmost importance, and I need a clear head, I cannot worry about you, or lust after you all the time. You must understand my love…" He said tenderly into her ear, causing her to shiver.

"What happens to me then?" Lily asked, gently turning in Thorin's arms to face him.

"We will find you a safe house. Bree will no longer do." Thorin said tenderly, gently pushing a lock of hair from her face as his eyes took in her beauty with a sad longing.

"And then what, I sit there and wait until you come? How long will that be? 2 months? 6? A year?" Lily inquired unhappily.

"I don't know…" Thorin said honestly. "But I do promise, I will return for you." His voice was deep and sincere. He then took the delicate owl necklace out of his coat pocket and gently placed it around her neck again. "Let this serve as a token of that promise that I will be back for you." He said tenderly, trailing his finger down her neck and along her collar-bone.

"You better be." Lily said softly, tears glistening in her eyes. He then gently pushed her back down onto his coat and the two lay caressing and kissing for some time before dressing and joining the camp again.

Upon their return, no one said a word, but all eyes shared a knowing look.

Lily returned to her corner of the camp and Thorin kept his watch from his rock. He did not avoid her as forcefully as before, allowing himself to watch her more freely, but he did not dare join her in sleep, as much as he craved to. His heart ached at the thought that he would have to part with her once more, and he did not know if he could find the strength. He watched as she laid her beautiful, silky locks down to sleep, and cast a weather eye out over the landscape around. Tonight he would keep her safe.