For the Love of Darkness
Chapter 13: For Better or For Worse
By MarleThese eyes sitting on the wall
They watch every move I make
Bright light living in the shade
Your cold heart makes my spirit shake
I had to go through hell to prove I'm not insane
Had to meet the devil just to know his name
And that's when my love was burning
-"Ghost" by Ella Henderson
Author's Note: I'm sorry it's been taking so long to release chapters. I've been going through some personal issues but finally coming out the other side on it. I love you all and hope you continue enjoying the story
As Schala walked down the path from the Skyway through the gardens leading up to the city of Enhasa, she paused for a moment to take in the beauty of the scenery and admiring the landscape. Despite the fact she had woken up in Zeal the day before and slept overnight just to wake again, she kept wondering when and if she would wake in Guardia. Was that life the dream? Perhaps she had never left Zeal to begin with. But how could she have such an elaborate, long, and realistic dream? Shaking her head, she laughed to herself quietly. I'm not satisfied one way or the other, she lamented, I wanted to be home and I got my wish and yet I miss my friends and my love. Her love… it was strange still now that she had come to accept her feelings for Janus, yet in this era at this time Magus was so wrapped up in his desire to defeat Lavos that she wondered if she could ever reach him. She desired to save him from his obsession, and perhaps even spare herself and her people. It was a long shot, a dream that she knew was nearly impossible, but if somehow she could stay with him and make his mission successful, even if it was always Zeal's fate to fall, then perhaps she could save more lives.
He had summoned her early in the morning, anticipating the time it would take for her attendants to get her prepared to go out. Despite a lifetime of having others wait on her hand and foot, the short time in Guardia had made her grown accustomed to dressing herself, doing her own hair, and preparing herself to face the day as she wished. Some days she put on her make up, others she went plain faced and was content either way. However, here she was dressed and made up. Her long flowing lavender robes hung from her body and despite having worn light armor to train with Janus, her dress felt immensely heavy. As she walked into the city, people bowed, curtsied, saying hello and wishing her blessings from the Goddess. She smiled and waved quietly as she passed, making her way through the gardens. The smell of the familiar plants and flowers made nostalgia swell in her chest. Along with being the City of Dreams, Enhasa had developed a sophisticated understanding of the benefits of natural oils, aromatherapy, and using flora in teas and recipes in order to promote wellness and restful sleep. It was at that moment when she rounded the hedge of roses that she saw him sitting on a white marble bench, reading a book. His hood was up to cover his eyes and everyone who passed him seemed to take a small step away as they did. Schala approached him cautiously, appearing to be meek and intimidated.
"You summoned me, Prophet?" She stated quietly. He did not move to acknowledge her or look up from his reading, "Yes, your highness. I wanted to discuss the Mammon Machine's progress with you in private."
Despite knowing why he was behaving the way he was, Schala couldn't help but feel a slight stinging in her chest. He was so cold and distant from her, there was no trace of warmth in his voice or being towards her. She felt her face grow flush as she recalled the night before when she had gone to him. There was no denying that they had wanted one another and had she not listened to his pleas to stay away, she would have woke beside him this morning. As he stood, Schala unconsciously took a step forward towards him. Magus's frame went ridged as she approached. While the facade was there on the surface, there was no disguising the love in his eyes. Her knowledge and affections were going to make things more complicated now if he didn't maintain his composure and distance. Finally he ordered "Walk with me."
"Y-yes."
They walked slowly side by side, moving past several citizens. Some slowed and whispered to each other, "Princess Schala is walking with the Prophet?" "He treats her so awful, I'm sure she's being forced into something again." "She should be resting. We'll never achieve immortality if she doesn't get back to the Mammon Machine."
Schala felt her jaw clench unwillingly, wanting to snap back at them and tell them to mind their own business.
"Ignore them." Magus suggested in a low voice, "There are more important things we need to discuss."
"Yes, but-"
"You stated last night you had no regard for your reputation should you be seen with me. We're now putting that statement to the test."
Schala sighed and shook her head, "You're right."
"To the issue at hand-" He began, "Crono and his friends…"
"How long has it been since they were sent away?" she asked.
"About two weeks now," Magus replied, "Why?"
Schala ran through the events as she could recall in her head, "So then at this time… they should be back soon. When they were sent away in my time, it was about a month before they returned and released Melchior."
She felt his aura change at the mention of the guru, though he continued to look forward, "For what purpose do they release Melchior?"
"He has something, a red knife that destroys the machine, but it couldn't stop Lavos from being summoned. It was very strange though..."
"What was?"
"Well, as soon as the knife came in contact with the energy of the Mammon Machine, it transformed into-"
Without warning, Magus grabbed her and spun her around. As she struggled to regain her balance, a small shriek of surprise erupted as her back hit one of the hedges. Immediately, Magus clasped his hand over her mouth and pulled her to his frame, yet pushing her back into the bushes further. Schala felt her heart skip a beat as her body pressed against his. He said nothing, but brought a finger to his lips to gesture her to be quiet. It was at that moment that she heard a familiar dark voice coming closer; Dalton and by the foot fall there were at least two others with him.
"That old crone is becoming more and more intolerable each day." he muttered, "The Black Bird is almost complete. Once that happens, I'll have more options."
"Say boss, weren't you trying to become King after the old man kicked the bucket?" one of his goons asked.
"SHUT UP YOU FOOL!" Dalton bellowed, "Why don't you just broadcast our plans? I'm not taking any chances. Immortality is so close, but we have to be ready to act fast otherwise the crazed Queen and her brats will be unable to be killed."
"B-but I thought you was tryin' to marry Princess Schala?" The other stated. Schala's face twisted as a low growl emitted from the back of Magus's throat. Without thinking, she grasped at him, pulling herself closer as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her tighter, covering her within in cloak.
Dalton scuffed and let out an irritated sigh, "She's becoming more trouble than she's worth. There's something odd about her lately… something peculiar. Ever since those brats were here it's like she's a different person."
"Well, what do you wanna do, boss?"
"For now, you get back to work for the Black Bird, and you-! Get your squad together and head to the Ocean Palace. We have to be ready for anything until our immortality is achieved!"
"Yes Sir!" As the henchmen dashed off, Schala and Magus waited to hear Dalton leave. To their dismay, he did not. The two looked at each other as Magus's brain raced to create a solution if they were found. They could feel his eyes scanning the area. Had he noticed them? Was he able to feel their auras as they felt his? Dalton let out a grunt then his footsteps disappeared into the distance. Neither moved for several minutes after he was gone, their bodies locked together. She didn't want to move and it appeared neither did he. Schala pulled her head back from his shoulder and stared directly at his face. Despite what she had wanted, he wasn't looking at her, instead his head was turned as he listened for anyone else nearby. Murmuring gently into his ear, she tugged at his cape with a smile. His ruby gazed shifted to her, though he did not turn his head. "They're gone now… it's okay."
Almost aggressively, he pulled away from her putting a good foot of distance between them. There was no hiding her disappointment and sadness, the flash of pain across her face tugged at his heart. Despite his best efforts, the idea of harming Schala killed him inside.
Deciding to turn the conversation back to what they were speaking of earlier, "What happened to the red knife?" he finally asked. Schala's expression went blank before her brows furrowed in frustration. "Forgive me," she stated flatly, "I seem to have forgotten."
Before he could say anything else, she moved past him and stormed off in a fit. Magus stood there for a moment, slightly dumbfounded and trying to figure out what had just happened.
~x~X~x~
Two days had passed since Schala had spoken to Magus, she realized she only had three days left to come up with a strategy before she'd be summoned back to the Ocean Palace. During that time, Prophet had asked for her several times, of which each time she refused to see him. The evening before she could have sworn he had approached her door but no knock ever came. Pouring over the books Janus had picked out for her in the City of Kajar, Schala jotted down notes here and there trying to piece together what had happened. There were several theories of what had happened to her and how she ended up back in Zeal but none that she felt were true. Some were outlandish, borderline fanciful, while others had a detailed breakdown of their theory and how to relate.
Her concentration was broken when her younger brother's voice range out, "Hey Schala, what are you doing?" the little prince asked as he climbed into the chair next to her.
"Oh, I was just…" she began, scanning over her readings. Curiously, Janus picked up one of the books and read a few lines. When it became clear the topic of the literature, he looked at her with a quizzical expression, "So, have you found anything useful in this to getting us out?"
Schala shook her head, "No, not yet."
"Are you trying to transport us into future bodies or something like that?" He asked, "I don't think that's possible Schala, or a good idea even if it was."
Recalling Lucca discussing Belthasar transferring his consciousness into his Nu and her musings of trying to transfer Prometheus's consciousness into another being, she couldn't help but want to challenge Janus but it would be too apparent she was not his sister if she did. "I don't know, darling."
Sighing lightly, Janus leaned back in his chair, allowing Alfador to hop onto his lap. "Schala," he began quietly, "I want us to leave before you have to go back…"
Reaching over, she passed a hand over his head, "Shh…"
Leaning over, he nuzzled his face into her arm "We have to go… if you go back down there, I feel the black winds… I'm scared you'll-"
Schala closed the book she was reading, then turned to face him completely, lightly hugging him while gently petting Alfador, "I'm going to be okay, we're going to be okay."
It broke her heart to not be confident in her statement. Normally, she would say things to reassure him and believe that somehow, some way, everything would work out but there was nothing she could say or do to prepare him for what was to come. Even if she was able to save herself, would she be able to save him? But a selfish whisper insider her heart reminded her that if he didn't go through the gate, she'd never have Magus. Torn between her own happiness and the innocence of her brother should not have weighed on her as much as it was starting to. Though perhaps if she saved Janus, she would end up marrying someone else and be spared her own internal struggle.
"Janus, are there any books on Time Travel?" she whispered. Janus nodded and pointed, "In the back in the archives where Gaspar used to work. Most people aren't interested in those type of things anymore, they all want to know about living forever and all that nonsense…"
Leaning over and kissing his forehead, Schala rose, "I'll be back, Janus. Give me a little bit."
"Okay," he said, pulling a book from her pile, "I'll see if I can find anything in the meanwhile."
Wandering back into the lab farther, down the rows of bookshelves, so deep into the library that the books turned to scriptures, and then into scrolls. She looked around in wonder, as it seemed to go on and on forever. She came back to an area she had not visited since she was a girl. There was a long desk with scrolls sprawled out upon it and remnants of Gaspar's research. Letting her fingers lightly brush the deep oak wood desk, recalling the evenings she would spend listening to Gaspar and asking him questions. It was obvious he left in a hurry. When Queen Zeal began to slip into madness and after she banish Melchior, Gaspar fled into isolation, while Belthasar continued his work on the Black Bird but was rarely seen or heard from. Sighing, she moved over to the shelves behind his desk and began to shift through the scrolls. While going through the scrolls, she felt a familiar presence approach her swiftly. As she spun around on her heels with a start, she leapt slightly, catching her breath, "Gods Ja- Magus… you frightened me."
"Forgive me," He stated coolly, pulling back his hood. They stood there for what felt like several minutes staring at one another; finally she spoke, "What do you want?"
"Schala," his voice was thick and deep, immediately making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, "I need to explain myself."
Crossing her arms across her chest, she dropped all guise of her meek demeanor and displayed the frustration of his restraint from her, "I want to save our kingdom and ourselves. Even if it means sacrificing things that I want."
"I see…"
"And I won't be a tool for your schemes because I know more than you!"
"I understand…" he took a few steps closer to her, "And I had no intention of making you feel used, Schala."
She looked him over and moved to stand eye to eye with him. If she wasn't already maddening to him, her confidence and courage fanned his desire for her further. His sweet sister was still a kind soul, but she now was willing to challenge those around her. She was strong in her convictions, and her eyes had a fire in them he had never seen before. Despite his original intent to keep his distance, the fact she was now interested and pursuing him made it impossible to pretend not to feel anything. "Am I such a distraction that you won't let me fight at your side? Do you love me, Magus?"
"Yes and yes," his eyes tracing around the features of her face, almost making a study of her. Schala remained quiet as she reached up and touched his cheeks. Immediately, Magus's entire being went ridged and his pupils began to become more like that of a cat's. She had seen his eyes become that way several times before, it was the part of him that had become Mystic that gave away his emotions to a degree. Most of the time it was the same when he went into and out of light, others it was when he was angry, but when his eyes changed for her she could feel him resisting. "I can help you. We can help each other."
"Schala, I can't give you what you want," his voice trembled as he reached for her hand and moved it from his face, "I've come too far and I'm too close…"
"You fail in defeating Lavos!" she contested, "I can help you. If we work together, maybe- just maybe…"
A long groan escaped his lips as she tried to move to him again. Firmly, he held her at a distance, his gaze falling to the floor. "Zeal will always fall, Schala."
"And us?!" Schala cried, "What about you and I? Am I to die and be left to the darkness and you to be dropped into that hell of the Middle Ages no matter what?"
His grip on her tightened as his grimaced as if he were in pain. "Let's try to figure something out. Be at my side. Let's stop mother. Let's see if we can save ourselves!"
"You're asking me to potentially disappear into nothingness." his tone was even and emotionless, "But if it could save you…"
Schala began squirming in his grip as she moved towards him again, "Dammit, Janus! Let me touch you! Let me hold you!"
"No." His voice was less confident that time.
Her gaze ripped into him as her breathing increased. As he roughly breathed out of his nose, his eyes rose to meet hers. The loneliness and desperation in the look she gave was undeniable and outright heart breaking "My love… please…" with those words he broke.
With a rough start, Magus's mouth engulfed hers, roughly pushing her back onto the bookshelf. Her body hit hard, but she hardly felt the sting as she grabbed at him, pushing her tongue into the dark sweetness of his mouth. He began to breath harshly trying to pull her closer. When they finally broke, both were panting, breath wracked with desire and brows moist from the heat between them. She rested her forehead against his as her hand moved to cup his face. He did not look at her, a part of him wondered if he was hallucinating or dreaming. Magus had always imagined there being a huge space in time after revealing himself to her and confessing his true desires. However, here she was before him, wanting him, pleading for him to love her as he wanted to.
"Schala," he breathed roughly, lightly kissing her again, "We need to prepare."
As much as she wished to argue with him, Schala nodded in agreement. Neither one moved away from the other, "I think our best course of action is to stall the Mammon Machine. It's not so hard as it cannot operate without me. Besides, Crono and his friends should return soon and all things will play out as I know."
"It may not be so simple."
"Why not?"
"Things change and do not go as we originally remember things, Schala." Magus stated, his lips against her forehead as he did, "For example, I do not remember seeing myself as Prophet in my youth, and of course this between us never happened."
Schala's face drained of colour at that remark. She had never considered the repercussions of her knowledge or the changes that could occur in sharing them. It was her assumption that if all events went according to what she knew, there should be little to no changes of great significance. At the same time, she desired to change history all together. "Surly, doing something to save lives is worth it. To save you and I."
"I understand, Schala, but you must know. You've seen it yourself. Even with my desires, I know that ending Lavos here will change the course of history. I'm prepared for that burden. I've had a lifetime to prepare." Magus said, calmly.
"I could lose you in your current form all together, but I would spare you the hell of your youth without home." she lamented, "I should not be so selfish as to wish that trauma on you if it means I keep my love."
Magus took a step back from her, his hands moving to rest upon her hips, "Schala, I've considered that I may cease to exist if I change history. Be it in total body and mind or I become a different version of my adult self. I've had almost three decades to think on this. Have you even thought of what will happen?"
"We'd grow old. I'd fall in love with someone else... You'd fall in love with someone else…" Her voice trembled at that thought. Why was that frightening to her now? Not too long before now she obsessed over trying to fall in love with someone else. Why did she now become scared at the idea of each of them loving another? "I-... I don't know if I like that idea but I imagine if I never had to face the alternative then I would not know any better or worse."
"Exactly."
Schala shook her head slowly and began to breath deeply. It was at that point a frantic Janus ran into the back, "Schala! Schala!" the prince practically screamed her name.
Catching him in her embrace, Schala lowered herself to his level. "Calm, Janus. What has you so frantic child?"
"T-T-The Mountain of Woe! It's collapsed!"
"What?" She shrieked, turning back to Magus, whom placed his cloak over his head again, "It's as you predicted…"
"Yes your grace," he stated, his tone cool and even, "The terrorists will soon return."
Schala shook her head, becoming lost in her own mind. They're here. Are they early? How could they be early?
"I must get to Algetty to greet them," Schala declared, as she rose to her feet, "Come, Janus."
"You would go alone, milady?" Magus asked, his voice giving way to his concern. A tone that Janus picked up on and warranted a strong glare from his younger self.
Schala looked at Janus and Alfador then back at Magus, "You're welcome to come with us Prophet. It may be more forgivable for me to leave the kingdom with you at my side to mother. She will want you with us when we reach eternal glory."
Janus's face scrunched, "You know that's not true, Schala. This man is just using yo- Hey! Wait for us!"
Schala speed through the library to a buzzing crowd
"Did you hear? The Mountain of Woe has collapsed?!" "What does that mean?" "Was Melchior still on it?" "The queen will not like this." "Will this hold up our immortality further?" "I wonder if the Earthbound ones were washed away." "Filthy hovel of a city, it'd be a blessing."
To hear them say such things made Schala's blood boil. Before, she'd passively accept such statements and move on, but now she had the desire to scold the people. When she paused for but a moment to say something, Magus quickly caught her arm and dragged her on. "Hey! Unhand me at once!"
"It's not worth the combat, we have bigger things to worry about." He murmured in her ear.
The whispers quickly added "Did you see how Prophet put his hands on Lady Schala?" "How dare he!" "Well the queen allows it." "I wonder what else the queen allows…"
Schala's breathing increased to the point she was seething, "How dare they…"
"Calm down," Magus whispered in her ear, "If only they realized what I truly wished to do to you… I'm sure they'd turn fifty shades of red."
A different heat overtook Schala's face as she looked back at Prophet with a slightly teasing grin. "Come now. We must make for Algetty with all haste!"
~x~X~x~