~The Daily Crab~

Cheeky D. brother's song hits No.1 in the charts

06-Sep-2013

CONTROVERSIAL pop song 'Party like the D. brothers' has hit the number one spot in the GL music charts by similarly controversial artist Soul King Brook.

Soul King who was unmasked as a member of the Strawhat pirates whilst on his Grand Line tour at the Shabody Archipelago; self-released the track as a tribute to the "incredible bond" between his captain Monkey D. Luffy and of his late brother Portgas D. Ace.

The track has particularly angered Brook's former agents, who cannot cash in on the profits after they dramatically cut all ties with the artist once it was revealed he was a pirate.

However, the song has been upsetting thousands of grouchy old people who no longer have anything better to do in their lives then send letters of complaint to anyone they can think of because of the songs "rude" contents.

Grouchy old chef Zeff of the Baratie said: "When I have a rare break away from my moron employees I like to listen to the radio for some escapism."

"So this song comes on with a really catchy tune but then I really start to listen to it and I have to wonder just what the hell is wrong with today's youth."

"Here are some of the lyrics, I meticulously wrote them down to help express how disgruntled I am: 'lick that cream up off your faces, that pie missed your holes in several cases, Ace'll turn up the heat and Luffy'll get you stretching, now let's all join in the fun and get this party started' then after the chorus there's some other shit about 'riding giant birds together'."

"Now I not long ago had a teenage brat living with me and I'm quite aware of what 'riding giant birds' implies and all that other innuendo isn't lost on me either. The song may be hip to young-uns but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, more so because that Ace kid died at the battle of Marineford, I think it's a bit insensitive."

Superfan Lucy currently competing at the Corrida Colosseum said: "It's not meant to be rude at all, even though Brook can be a bit of a pervert."

"Honestly, Ace and me, I mean Luffy, did just really like to eat food together and the giant birds refers to the super spot-billed ducks in Alabasta. It's all completely innocent".

"Everyone needs to get their heads out of the gutter!"