Okay the update took a while, coursework and stuff the typical excuse but oh-so-true however i have not forgotten. Hope you like it (and hope it was worth the wait!! :S)

Let me know what you think - The show goes on ...

All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter Fourteen : Explanations

BPOV

We ended up waking from the club, as they couldn't run when we were in a public place. Jasper carried me the whole way, which attracted a few stares from people.

We finally arrived back home and we all entered the house to see Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Joshua seated in the sitting room. The tension in the air was thick and I noticed Joshua swallow nervously when he caught sight of Jasper and Emmett's glares.

"Thanks for ditching us Alice." Emmett broke the silence. She smirked.

"You'll get over it. Take a seat, as you know we have a few things to discuss." Emmett and Rose went to sit on the love seat whilst Jasper pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me in a protective way, all the time his eyes never leaving Joshua. Alice took a quick glance around the room and began.

"Well you all met Joshua already," Emmett scoffed whilst Alice continued ignoring his interruption. " We would like all of your consent for him to join the family. He is going to change his diet and commit to it. And I don't want to leave however I have to stay with him." She finished with a small smile. Joshua spoke up.

"Before you decide, I would firstly like to apologize to Isabella for my behaviour. For one I really didn't know of any other way for our kind to live and secondly it wasn't a personal thing. I have always believed that I am a monster and humans are prey however I have been pleasantly surprised to find that there is another way for our kind." He finished with a smile.

"I realise that this will not be easy and I am more than willing to commit to this way of life."

JPOV

"Josh you can call me Bella. And you needn't apologize for something that comes naturally for you." Bella smiled at Joshua reassuringly. What is with Bella and being comfortable around us? Now she's even fine around a 'normal' vampire who tried to kill her! She amazes me all the time but I guess if Bella is okay with it I am but he will not be spending any time alone around Bella until he is controlled. I can feel his thirst is threatening to overpower him any second now.

"Thanks Bella." I felt his relief for a second before it went back to his fear, thirst and tension. He glanced at Alice, took a deep breath and began.

"I think if you are to accept me you all need to know my story. Around a century ago, I can't remember any exact dates; I was created by a vampire that had vivid golden eyes like yours however they were drinking from me. I presumed I would die however they just stopped and took off. It was a stunning blonde female, I remember her perfectly, she told me her name was Tanya." We all gasped, I am ashamed to say myself included. I swear the Cullen's life was turning into a soap opera!

"What?" Joshua questioned. Alice placed her hand over his,

"I'll explain later?" She looked over at Bella questioningly, who nodded grimly.

"Shall I continue?" Alice nodded.

"I won't go into detail but three days later I was awake. My eyesight, hearing even smell was different. It was so peculiar, so, frightening. I have wondered aimlessly all of these years with no purpose to my life. The only things I felt were negative, the self-hate and shame. I don't want to be a monster. I hate being a murderer but I am weak. I tried and failed to not drink but the thirst got too much. If only I had known of such a diet as this I would have done it from the beginning. My mother always told me that murderers were disgusting animals, and I know that if she saw me now she would be disappointed in me, be as disgusted with me as I am. I am not saying I deserve the love of such a creature as Alice however I will always try and live up to it, everyday of my existence." He hung his head. I could relate to that, only Bella cannot understand what the murder of a human does to you. We all shared a look with a nod of conformation. He defiantly is one of us and good enough for our Ali.

"We would all be honoured to have you as part of our family Josh." Carlisle said. He looked up and emanated pure joy.

"Now myself, Alice and Esme will take you on your first hunting trip, if you wish."

"Yeah Cullen style!" Emmett chanted with a fist pump.

BPOV

They took off for hunting whilst we were all left with nothing at all to do. The sweet melody of my lullaby blasted through the house making us all jump. I cracked up, vampires who actually got surprised. Then stopped breathing when I realised what this meant. Only one Cullen knew my lullaby…

Jasper looked livid, and I saw that Rose and Emmett wore the same expressions.

"All of you better stop thinking whatever you're thinking." I will check it out YOU will stay here. This is between him and me!"

"I don't think so Bella." Jasper growled.

"Since when do you control me? I am seeing a familiar pattern forming here and I don't like it." I began to walk away when Jasper grabbed my arm and yanked me back. He got right into my face, I could see the pure fury dancing in his eyes.

"Don't ever compare me to him. He isn't emotionally stable, and neither are you. You could both get mad very easily."

"What like you? I wouldn't say that you're the calmest right now. And let go of my arm RIGHT NOW or so help me I'll,"

"What Bella? What will you do?" He thundered.

"Jasper you're hurting me." I whispered. He abruptly let go and disappeared out the back door. Emmett followed.

"Go Rose you know him best, help him." She looked torn.

"Please Rose." With a glare at Edward she left.

"That little display of affection proves you two are not right for one another. Bella we didn't fight did we? We were perfect and still could be if you take me back. I love you Bella." I turned to find him closer than I originally thought.

"Edward we are finished. There is no Bella and Edward. Yes you were my first love, however that was then this is now and now I am saying I am over you. You should go."

"Go? From my own home? I don't think so Bella. I belong here, you don't. But you could if yo,"

"I DON'T WANT YOU."

"I don't know what else to do Bella. I have nothing without you."

"Wrong you have Tanya." I sighed. "You two are actually perfect for one another, you are equals."

"Fine Bella. If I can't have you, then nobody will." He stepped forward and pressed me roughly into the wall.

"W-w-what do you mean Edward?" My confident façade wearing off rapidly.

"I might as well have your sweet blood to cure my bloodlust and keep Tanya for other sorts." I swallowed.

"Erm you do know the others will kill you." I tried stalling.

"Let them try." He mumbled against my neck. I felt him lick my jugular then kiss my neck, teasing before testing the prey.

Okay so i made Edward into a Darkward but i think thats best. Sorry all you Team Edwards,,

Does anyone want Bella to actually die i'm not sure,, Review Please. :)