This will clarify things that are extremely vague now, to whether Bas is actually "insane" [delusions of the younger Kurt] and all. I know some of you might not like this. There's a lot of mixed response [and barely any at all for the last chapter]. I didn't know what to write to appease you, sweeties, so I just did what I would've normally done in this circumstance and blown it up in the way that I always will. :') Enjoy.

14 – experimentations

It broke on the fifteenth of June.

Kurt Hummel remembered. The white pristine mug that was always glittering from its position in the soft white sunlight – never filled with coffee, or any liquid, never touched. It was his Mother's, the only thing he had of her still. He remembered Italy vaguely, and a man passing by to give her the sweetest red rose. He remembered he wanted to give red roses to people and make them smile like that too.

She still used it. She always used it.

"Momma, why do you use broken things?"

She'd stare back at him with a soft smile curved to his lips. "Just because it's broken doesn't mean it's useless, sweetie. It's still my favourite."

Kurt remembered he didn't understand as she made him hot chocolate with marshmallows and let him drink. Somehow, he'd forgotten to give it back to her, and always kept it abandoned in a drawer. When she had passed away, he had somehow stumbled across it by accident.

"I always wanted to go to Italy! How…how amazing! And France! I want to see places, Burt." He'd chuckle and press his lips against her cheek. "I want to show Kurt everything."

He'd seen too much, and none of it was pretty. Kurt held the mug close to him as he whispered softly to himself. Andrea had called him about Sebastian but he didn't know if he was supposed to go or not. After all, Sebastian was still a grade A douchebag but the same time, he needed him right now.

Kurt sighed and placed the mug back in its place, took his bag and then sped out.

Sebastian Smythe didn't know what was going on, just that it was bad. Very bad. He had his eyes shut tightly, as he watched bodies move – was that his Father? And the people from Afesat – his eyes were blurring. He wondered if he wanted them to speak, but then his head was pounding, then someone spoke. George had bit down his lower lip. "Come on, Jean, you gotta tell him…"

"What? That I nearly almost killed little fucking crush?" Jean snapped.

Sebastian's mind went to the only possible candidate for that as Blaine's face filled his mind, and those soft hazel eyes lulled him. Sebastian kept his eyes shut, pretended to sleep, which wasn't hard. The real struggle was staying awake, even as Jean and the Afesat members spoke out. Sebastian went to the only thing that his Father could be talking about: the fact that Blaine Anderson had been in a car accident that resulted in getting a blood transfusion. Jean had something to do with Blaine's blood transfusion? Sebastian's head was reeling now.

"Damn car accident. Damn that man. Damn Burt Hummel. I wanted him dead. Didn't know a kid was with him! Fucking congress!"

Sebastian tried his hardest not to snap his eyes open. The only thing that Burt Hummel had done so far was try to restore equality through rules that barely anyone listened to. Punishment would be too much, but he tried to aspire for peace – some were against it all, some not, teenagers didn't like it, and that was just it, but most adults didn't mind it, wanting everything to smoothly and along with their daily lives. Right now, Sebastian can only hear one thing in his mind: your Father doesn't like gay people. Burt does. Now, figure it out, Bas. Suddenly, the young Kurt was in his mind again, with that small teacup almost always glued to his hands…

"I tried to make it right! Gave that kid my blood. Bas, and him and I, our blood group…"

Sebastian knew his blood group was alike to Blaine's and obviously, he'd gotten it from his Father, considering Nathalie's blood type was also the same. This caused Sebastian to try and not shake. His hypocritical Father that did not accept STD's, especially HIV, had HIV. Sebastian didn't mean for his eyes to flutter but they did and now, Jean and Sebastian were caught staring eye into eye with each other…

"You're awake." Jean suddenly realised, staring back at Sebastian.

Sebastian's mind was still reeling with what he heard. The room was dim, and barely any light was there, but there was a certain glimmering glint of something from the watch in Jean's hands, the heirloom. It used to mean everything to Sebastian and now, it was making him feel nauseated and sick. Maybe tomorrow he'd want it again but maybe not anymore. His heart was thudding. He wanted to be recognised. He just wanted to know the truth right about now.

"Say it. All of it. Everything." Sebastian glowered darkly. "The truth?"

Jean was staring back at Sebastian as if debating whether or not to tell Sebastian the truth but the words spilled out of his mouth and when he'd begun speaking, he couldn't stop. "I hate him. Burt Hummel, I mean. So I took a hit at him. Congress and all. I hate it. Where's the democracy in having those kinds of people run it? So I did. I tried to take him out, probably is, he was with a kid. So I gave it to the kid. My blood. Then I realised I was HIV positive." Jean said it so smoothly, almost as if Sebastian wasn't allowed to have HIV but Jean was. It almost sent that nostalgic pang in Sebastian's stomach, of wanting to sound so in control, so amazing, so astounding. Suddenly, he was six again and staring up at his big successful Father who built everything with his own sweat and blood.

"So I ran."

He'd never thought his Father would run away from anything, but now, remembering all of this was so big—Burt and Blaine's car crash was a futile attempt at killing Burt. His Father was behind that wheel. His Father had to get up and see if his plan was a success but he'd probably found an unconscious boy, and a man, and then he tried to save the kid, the kid that had no business with anything, but ended up giving him a goddamned curse. And then he ran. His strong face-the-music Father ran.

"Fuck it. I ran, and you slept with him like the whore you are—"

Sebastian couldn't take it anymore. He allowed the anger to burn into his blood and then he snapped, words spilling from his mouth. He couldn't take it. He just couldn't take this hypocritical man criticising him for being in the same position any longer, "—how." That single word got Jean's attention as Sebastian elaborated. "How did you get HIV positive?"

Jean snorted. "It doesn't fucking matter."

But it mattered when I was HI-fucking-V positive, right? It matters because I'm gay. You disgusting parasite. You hurt my Mother. YOU HURT MY MOTHER.

Sebastian looked down at his lap as he bit down his lower lip, collecting his thoughts silently, and then he said the name. The name was cold, running out of his lips with pure and utter harshness. "Jean," his voice was hoarse and Jean shut his eyes, as if the last thing he expected was for Sebastian to call him by his first name, even though he had demanded it when Sebastian had called him his Father. "This is why Blaine thinks a car accident was disclosed information, because he didn't want Kurt to know that you were trying to kill Burt."

Sebastian's voice was full of betrayal as he looked back at George, Andrew and Bruce, these men that had been so supportive, were siding with his Father? Were part of his ploy? The ploy that was kept undisclosed for how long now? Sebastian tried to remember the signs of this, the business meetings, the hushed tones, the secrecy when his Mother made him stay in one singular room—Sebastian had never doubted Jean. He had never doubted that Jean was nothing short of a glass manufacturer and why were they manufacturing glass then? Was there something else behind it? From the guilty look in George's eyes, Sebastian can tell that Afesat and Kinate's merging would be for something else entirely than distributing glass.

"And…and you," he was staring straight at the trio, "are all a part of this?"

Bruce shut his eyes, trying to hide his remorse, the remorse his Father couldn't feel. "Come on, kid. It's okay. We came to see you, okay? Tried to talk Jean into telling you, alright? And you're okay, you're gonna power through this, right?"

Almost as if the words triggered him – and they had – Sebastian had slammed his fists on the white hospital cot, trying to suddenly hot back hot, angry tears as he screamed with a voice so cold and icy that he might as well be his Father right then. The hallucination-Kurt was staring at him with horror in those big blue eyes, pale face, and tears cascading down his cheeks as Sebastian. Just. Lost. It.

"I have pne-fucking-umonia! I have HIV. I have sickle cell anaemia. And you know what all of these have in common? They're from our family. They're diseases that are running in our blood and they're all because of you! They're all because you're the worst fucking Father I know, huh? Kick me out. You kicked me out. That is not a hallucination! And the thing is…I think – no, I know – you're gonna kill me. After all, you threw me out. After all, you tried to kill Burt Hummel. I know that Kurt is just going to start hitting Blaine until he dies and I don't know what to do. I know Kurt's out to get me too. I also heard my Father rape my Mother and I will never erase that out of my head and…Okay? Okay? Okay?"

Jean stared back at Sebastian, realising the reality of this confession – the way Sebastian's eyes widened when he'd tried to explain the delusions, the hallucinations, as Jean tried to sit down beside him but Sebastian placed his hand up in the air. The young Kurt was staring up at him with those huge teary eyes. He was crying the tears that Sebastian was holding back right then. "Don't fucking sit there. An imaginary younger version of Kurt Hummel is sitting there and he's drinking tea and crying his freaking eyes out."

The small Kurt snorted, even as the tears fell harder. "It's camomile." He added on helplessly, smiling weakly after the confession.

Sebastian tried to stop staring at the Kurt, almost as if he was waiting for sudden blood to show to make him scream again, but nothing happened as he looked back up at Jean whom was staring at him with an expression that Sebastian couldn't read – too far from hate but nothing close to sympathy, love or compassion, just a blank face with no expression at all would be closer.

Sebastian spat out the words that were ringing into his mind.

"What else did you lie to me about?"

Jean turned to look at Bruce, and now, Jean's eyes were filled with that kind of guilt, that kind of betrayal, that kind of anger that overtook every other emotion in a sudden anger-filled rage as he snapped. He snapped and Sebastian heard it all.

"This is why you're ridiculously nice to my son, huh?"

Sebastian blinked. He knew that Bruce, Andrew and George were being exceptionally sweet to him, barely even noting that Sebastian was in fact infected with HIV and gay last time they'd met. He didn't know how to feel. He was torn between feeling angry and trying to piece together everything in front of him. Bruce's eyes filled with more guilt. They didn't ever suggest that. Andrew was suddenly sitting beside Sebastian and he spilled out everything. "Okay. I'm gonna tell him—"

"Andy, I will kill you," George suddenly glared at him horrifically as the blonde shook his head.

"Imma sorry, Sebastian," the blonde responded. "You know what Afesat does, right? We're scientists. We…we sorta get right into the nook of things. Kinate used to make our test tubes and ship them to us with amazing glass fibres. A lot of chemicals could bear it but anyway…we made…somewhat illegal chemical. Sometimes…what happens is that there are these studies, going around about how mental disease is a lot associated with substance abuse. So we isolated what we wanted, and added on some things, proteins, bacteria, vectors, viruses…it's what Kinate has been working for many years to try and understand mental disorders better…"

All of this seemed harmless to Sebastian but he knew something was coming, something he wouldn't want to ever hear in his life, something painful.

Andrew shut his eyes and then continued. "What we did is that we tested these new chemicals. Jean was going to have a kid and he needed the money. At that point, Kinate was nothing. We used his Mother."

"Nona," Sebastian said, almost as quickly as possible. He knew what was coming but then his stomach was hurting him so bad at this point, as Andrew opened back his eyes. His eyes were big and blue, trying to assure him that it was all for good, all to fix things, but they were just making problems now, weren't they?

Andrew nodded his head. "Yeah." His voice was small. "We made the chemical and we administrated it to her—and she developed schizophrenia very quickly…we tried to fix it. Kinate needed the money, so despite how furious Jean was at that point…they still needed the money, so they helped out with another project of alcoholic production. Jean drinks. A lot like you, Sebastian…and what happens is that when they drink, there's always a shift from one reality to another."

Sebastian stared at him, not particularly understanding Andrew's statement. "We made a type of alcohol that has a strong effect, without damaging the body. Something that can possibly be used as a date-rape drug and they sell it legally now. It's called—"

"Rescofork." Sebastian quickly called out in memory. Jean was raising an eyebrow questionably but remained very silent as Sebastian continued to speak. "It's the same alcohol that was on sale that night that Blaine and I mysteriously got so drunk that we slept with each other and forgot everything…and the night I got HIV and you're telling me that that also is related to the fucking alcohol you used on me?"

Andrew flinched at Sebastian's sudden sharpness as he nodded. "It's potent and it also high levels of oxytocin and I think Jean mentioned you liking Blaine so it's amplified to an extent where…I think it's caused that delusion as well. The fact that your delusions are centred around them—but Jean's more worried that I fed you a chemical and gave you schizophrenia…"

Sebastian was staring at Jean now horrifically. "You…you're hating me enough…t-to let them play with my body?"

"I never consented for this," Jean hissed back, mostly at Sebastian as if to remind him that even he wasn't so cruel. Sebastian looked down in disbelief whilst Andrew kept on speaking now, trying to calm Sebastian down.

"It isn't the same drug. I mean…your hallucinations, the fact that you can see a real life person at this kind of age…I'd like to call it a self-reflection hallucination…we've been monitoring you with that watch he's given you like we've been monitoring the Smythe family generation with Jean's heirloom watch." Now, Sebastian was looking at the watch, suddenly feeling sick in his stomach. Even this trinket that always meant everything to Sebastian—it was fake. It was all to make sure that none of them went crazy. They weren't normal and that was making Sebastian as sick as Hell.

Andrew suddenly continued. "Your hallucinations…you see yourself in Kurt. It's why you're constantly on this hate-love relationship you're in, why you constantly fight. Kurt's like your mirror, this young one. You remember things from Kurt's past and kind of pull it in him and you remember things from yours and that's why he reacts something like you want him to. You said he was crying. He's kinda…feeling or making out your emotions when you don't think you can and I think that's—that's actually very bad because it's draining emotion from you. Like it's drained it from Jean."

Sebastian was suddenly petrified. "You…you sucked everything out of my Father?" he could recall a time that was much better than this with his Father. Now, Sebastian's eyes were filling, almost as if to show Andrew that he was wrong. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! Your fault that my Father kicked me out! Your Father that we had to live an entire fucking lie in this house! Your fault! Your fault! I…" Sebastian couldn't bear to believe the words that Andrew was telling him.

The Kurt hallucination was drawing himself closer towards the bed, falling down and then looking up at Sebastian with thick, horrified blue eyes. His emotions being mirrored right there, the falling, the pain, the anguish, the need to just fucking get out of here and punch something.

"Shh…we can fix it."

"You're the reason my Father just snapped and raped my Mother. You're the reason." Sebastian realised all of these feelings. They'd used it on his Father, didn't he? For some reason, they kept coming back at playing with the Smythe family like it was nothing. Andrew shut those big blue eyes. Bruce tried to comfort him with brown ones and George's green eyes were suddenly full of so much guilt they weighed a tone. "You can't fucking fix this, else you would've. So that's it? I'm fucking going crazy? Is that what you're telling me? But oh, my type of schizophrenia is fucking different because oh, let's not mention the fact that I'm seeing Kurt fucking Hummel as a kid. And suddenly believe in all things that are faith for no real anything at all!"

Just that word 'faith', suddenly made Sebastian want to leave for church and he didn't know why, but the thing was his mind knew that he didn't deserve church, or normalcy. He was fucked. He was seriously fucked and he didn't know what to do.

Sebastian blinked, and then realised what was going on before him, linking piece to piece. "My Father's hate for congress…that's a delusion that he has to kill Burt Hummel."

George finally nodded his head, allowing a few strands of brown hair to spill over his eyes. He moved to hold Sebastian's shoulder. "Don't touch me."

When Sebastian Smythe looked up, he realised that the world was crashing down even higher, because standing there, glittering in pale starlight, taking it all in, was his blonde-haired sister, and beside her, Kurt Hummel was clutching the clutch of his bag way too tightly, unable to breathe, as he panted for air at the information that was there. Jean looked back at Andrew, giving him a pointed look and Andrew nodded. They all moved together and Sebastian stared down at his lap, wondering if his heart sunk in place.

Sebastian snorted as Kurt tried to move closer.

"Don't. A hallucination of you is standing right beside you and I think his teacup just broke into pieces."

Kurt's eyes suddenly widened as he realised what Sebastian had said. The fact that he had brought a teacup up like it was significant, reminded him of his Mother – mostly of the mug, of the fact that pristine white cups were important to Kurt. Kurt then bit down his lower lip as he tried to understand what was before him. Sebastian watched the hallucination Kurt pick up little white pristine pieces with a hurt, lost face as he looked back up at him with confused, broken eyes.