A/N: Sorry its taken so long to update. Real life, you know? Doesn't help when you're a student and a writer, kills a lot of your desire to write fan fiction…. Anyway, on with the story. Hope you enjoy.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Luna wanted to go to detention with Harry again. After that first night, it was confirmed that she had a real friend. Harry invited her to hang out with his friends. Hermione didn't like Luna too much, but Harry stuck up for her. When Hermione bad mouthed the Quibbler, Harry pointed out off handedly, that the Quibbler was about the only ones who had any accuracy in reporting what had happened to him eleven years ago.

That had quieted Hermione. And as much as Luna enjoyed hanging out with Harry and his friends, she liked spending time with Harry by herself.

That was what inspired her to do what she did in Potions that day. She knew that Harry's one month of detentions was almost up, so she needed to act fast.

Luna was working on her potion alone, as none of her classmates wanted to work with her, and there were an odd number of students in the class. The class was silent. Sure, it wasn't as bad as the class shared by the Slytherins and Gryffindors, neither the Hufflepuffs nor Ravenclaws wanted to incite Snape's wrath. The only thing that could be heard in the dungeon was the heavy breathing of the students and their professor.

And then Luna opened her mouth.

"I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung"

Every eye in the room was on Luna. She continued on, not even noticing her classmates. She even started shaking her ass.

"Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy"

At this point, Snape had to step in.

"Lovegood, do you mind?"

"Not at all Professor." Snape turned from her and walked back to his closet. (yes, Snape's now in the closet) Luna continued singing.

"I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so
Fellas ("yeah" all the boys in the class said), fellas ("yeah")
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back"

Snape came running out of the closet. (notice how fast he came out)

"MS. LOVEGOOD! What is the meaning of continuing such a vulgar song?"

"Didn't you ask me to continue a few minutes ago?" Luna looked at him with a confused look.

"I most certainly did not. 10 points from Ravenclaw."

"But you said, and I Quote, 'Lovegood, do you mind?' I assumed you meant for me to continue, sir." Snape was huffing with frustration.

"No. You are not to disrupt this class any further. Understood?"

"Yes sir. But how come the headmaster can sing that song, but I can't? Is it because I'm not dancing? Because I can dance."

"It has nothing to do with dancing. If the headmaster wants to make a fool of himself, so be it. But in this class, you are not to cause any distractions. Now, get back to work."

Luna turned back to her cauldron and continued to work on her potion. Ten minutes later, she smirked to herself. She once again opened her mouth.

"I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby, I got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on"

"LOVEGOOD! Twenty points from Ravenclaw."

"Do you have something against that song professor? Do you prefer little butts?" Snape smacked himself in the head.

"Fine. Lovegood, you are not to sing that song in class anymore. Understood? EVER!"

"Ok professor Snape, I won't ever sing that song in class again."

"Thank you." Luna was slightly upset that he hadn't given her detention. She would have to up the stakes a bit. And not make herself a liar. She had to resort to Plan B. She had been hesitant about Plan B. She wanted to wait on Plan B till she was older, and more…developed.

After another fifteen minutes of silence, Luna finished her potion. She cleared her station and bottled her potion. She then proceeded to jump up on her desk and started a song and dance. The dance was a very provocative dance.

"I love myself I want you to love me
When I feel down I want you above me
I search myself I want you to find me
I forget myself I want you to remind me
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
You're the one who makes me come running
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine
I close my eyes And see you before me
Think I would die If you were to ignore me
A fool could see Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees I do anything for you
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
I want you I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you I touch myself
Ooh, ooh, oo, oo ahh."
I don't want anybody else When I think about you
I touch myself Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no"

With as many nosebleeds as this caused, it was official in everyone's mind, Luna was fucking nuts.

"LOVEGOOD!!!!"

Out of no where, an inhuman voice said "Boobs better" Snape started pounding his head agains the wall. After a couple hard hits, he looked back to Luna. "Detention."

"Thank you sir." Luna turned her potion in, picked up what clothes she had taken off during her dance and skipped out of the class happy.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

It was a lovely autumn morning, and Harry was sitting out on the Quidditch Pitch. Sure, he didn't play the game. He really didn't like flying on a broom. It was too constricting. He felt a lot more free flying under his own power.

The pitch was also a pretty quiet place. When he wanted to get away from everyone, he headed out here. Some might think he would head out by the lake, but there tended to be more people out there then you would think. At least, around this time of day.

Harry looked over and noticed that the Gryffidor and Slytherin teams were below arguing over Kami knows what. Harry walked down to find out what the commotion was all about. Once he found out, he almost fell over laughing.

"What's so funny Potter?" Draco said with a sneer.

"Flint, I cannot keep my mouth shut about this, the honor of our house is on the line. But why the bloody hell did you make Malfoy seeker? He's a terrible flyer. You just gave up the cup." Flint looked at Malfoy hesitantly. Malfoy looked like he was ready to kill someone.

"I'm a better flyer then you Potter. I remember our flying lessons last year. You were terrible."
"I could beat your limp wristed ass in the air any day of the week. In fact, I could beat you to the snitch on a muggle broom." Harry smirked at the insult. Draco had to take the bait.

"How dare you?!" Malfoy yelled. "My father has supplied the team with the top of the line brooms. You can't even fly a muggle broom."

"Willing to wager you spot on the team on that?"

"Me on my Nimubs 2001 versus you on a muggle broom? First to catch the snitch wins? What do I get when I win?"

"If you can beat me on your 'better' broom, with your 'superior' skills….how about one million galleons and I refer to you as 'Master Malfoy' for the rest of your natural life?" Malfoy's eyes widened. He looked like every Christmas and birthday had just came early. "And just to make things fair, how about we find someone neutral so conjure up a muggle broom? Should be a simple matter of transfiguration."

"Potter, you can have anyone you want conjure the broom up. Just as long as its not you or your mudblood slut." Harry made a mental note to hurt Malfoy for that one soon. Harry walked up to Oliver Wood.

"Excuse me, Oliver, right? Would you mind doing the honors? I'm sure as Captain of the Gryffindor team, you're impartial to this." Oliver smirked at Harry.

"Not a problem. The sheer balls of this alone is good enough for me." Oliver pulled out his want and conjured a broom.

"Why him Potter?" asked Flint.

"Because if I'm right, and Draco sucks as a flier, he wouldn't want me to win. Oh, and before we start, I just want to clarify something. When I win, I'm not taking the spot myself, but reserve the right to give it to whomever I want. Deal?"

"Deal." Said Malfoy. The two shook on it.

"As long as their in our house." Said Flint.

"Of course." Said Harry. "Oliver, I hate to ask something else, but in the spirit of impartiality, do you mind if we borrow the Gryffindor snitch?"

"Sure." He tossed it over to Flint.

The Slytherin and Gryffindor team took their seats. The Slytherins thought that this would be boring and quick. The Gryffindors, thanks to Fred and George, were pretty sure Harry had something up his sleeve. He wasn't the kind of person to put something like that up on a sure thing.

Draco and Harry mounted their brooms down on the pitch. Flint released the Snitch.

"Ok, wait a just a little bit." They stood there for a minute. "Ok. Whoever catches it wins. And….go!"

What happened next surprised everyone there. They both took off likes bats out of hell. Draco's broom was supposed to be the top of the line, fastest broom in existence. However, Harry was not only flying faster then him, but out maneuvering him. It was as if him and his broom were one.

In reality, Draco wasn't a very good seeker. As soon as he got over the shock of Potter being in the air, and actually being able to fly well, he started following him in hopes that he could beat him to the snitch if he saw it first. Big mistake. Harry started flying all over, and doing maneuvers that would make a lot of pros jealous.

It ended after only five minutes, with Harry catching the snitch, and Draco with a face full of dirt after he 'landed' hard. As soon as he got up, he marched over to Harry.

"What the bloody fucking hell was that? You were flying a muggle broom! Muggle brooms can't fly!" Malfoy was almost foaming at the mouth. It didn't help much that Harry was giving him the same kind of look a parent gives their kid when they throw a tantrum.

Harry turned to Flint, "I'll let you know who your seeker is by the end of tomorrow. And I'll make sure they have a good broom and can use it. Unlike him." Harry pointed to Malfoy.

"You can't hold me to that!" Draco said.

"Yes he can." Said Flint. "You shock on it in front of more then a dozen witnesses you idiot. And if you think that we're giving these brooms back because you lost your spot, you have another thing coming." The rest of the Slytherin team glared at Malfoy.

Draco then did about the only smart thing he did that day. He turned and left. Sure he was pissed beyond reason, but he didn't want to dig himself any farther into whatever hole he was in.

The twins walked up to Harry. "Harry, old chap…"

"…how ever did you…"

"…do that? That was really…"

"…a muggle broom after all."

Harry smirked at the twins. "Sorry. Trade secret. All I will say is, I don't like flying on brooms. They're to restricting." He winked at the red heads and headed inside himself.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Arthur Curry was walking through the courtyard of Hogwarts when he heard an angry huff. He looked over and saw Hermione Granger sitting with a book and parchment in her lap. She didn't look happy one bit. He hated to see upset students. At least, those students who actually wanted to learn.

He walked over to her. "Hello Hermione." This jolted the young witch out of her musings.

"Oh, Mr. Slave…I mean Curry. I didn't see you."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm writing this paper for History of Magic. Its about Atlantis." This cause Arthur's eyebrow to raise. "And this book seems so….wrong. I don't know what my problem is."

"Here, let me see your paper and book." Hermione handed the book and parchment over to him. He took a minute to read over things. He let out a sigh.

"Am I that wrong?"

"No, you're not wrong. Your paper is pretty good, considering your source. It's the book. Its is so wrong, its almost a crime. Not a single thing in this book is correct. Well, the passage about Plato talking about it is somewhat true…"

"The whole book couldn't be wrong. Someone would have said something. I've seen the same facts in other books."

"My guess is that the Wizarding world is a bit ignorant about Atlantis. How about you join me for tea, and I tell you all about the real Atlantis."

"Thank you." Hermione got up, collecting all her belongings. "But can I ask, if the Wizarding world is so wrong, how do you know the truth?"

"You could say I'm a bit of a specialist when it comes to Atlantis." The two of them walked towards Dende's office.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Luna Lovegood walked up the her Headmaster as he was about to enter the Great Hall.

"Excuse me sir, someone told me that you're a fan of muggle candy. Is that correct?" Dumbledore broke into a smile.

"Why I love muggle candy my dear."

"Would you be interested in trying some my father sent me? He was out tracking wild Bearded Clams in Amsterdam, and came across the most amazing candies."

"I would love to try some." Luna pulled a candy from her pocket and handed it to the elder wizard.

"Bye sir." Luna turned and ran into the Great Hall. Dumbledore ate the candy as he walked into the Great Hall.

As soon as he took three steps in, the candy took affect. He walked over to the nearest table, which just happened to be the Gryffidor table.

"I didn't know it was that kind of party." He yelled out. "If I did, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes." And then he whipped it out and did just that.

Luna walked over to the twins Weasley.

"I told you I could get him to eat it." Money was exchanged.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Harry entered the Slytherin common room. He walked over to where Ginny was sitting and sat down next to her. She didn't notice him. She was too busy writing in a book. She was really into it. Harry just stared at her for a minute. Something here wasn't quite right.

He sat there analyzing the situation for a good five minutes. He realized that he was sensing something coming from the book. He felt energy coming from it. That wasn't right. Books didn't have any life energy in them. Sure, they could have a million different types of magic in them, but not life. Something wasn't right. And he was going to figure it out.

"Hey Ginny." Harry said, startling her. Ginny instantly jumped up. She slammed her book shut

"Harry, don't do that. You almost scared me to death."

"Sorry about that. What you doing?" Ginny looked away from his gaze.

"Nothing."

"Ok, if you say so. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Harry, how many times do I have to tell you, we're too young to be making out in the common room. We should at least wait till I'm a third or fourth year."

"Damn. I'll have to hold you to that promise." This caused the female Weasley to blush. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. What would you say if I told you you could be the Seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team?" Ginny's eyes widened.

"I'd say not to yank me like that."

"Oh, if I were to yank you, it wouldn't be like that." Said Harry with a wink.

"What are you talking about?"

"I just won a bet, and lets say, I can name anybody in Slytherin the new seeker. And since I hate flying on a broom, I was thinking 'who better then that saucy little red head I know?' So, what do you say?" She jumped him. Hugging him very tightly. If he had been human, his ribs would be bruised at the very least.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou." While she was wrapped around him, she didn't notice him swipe her diary, and put it in his own bag.

"I also have to get you a broom. Since I told Flint that whoever I picked would be a good flyer, and have a good broom." Ginny's face fell. "And since first years aren't supposed to bring their own brooms, I was thinking that I would get you one as an early Christmas present."

"Harry, you can't do that. Just getting me the position is more then enough."

"I want to. Well, since you said yes, I'll go make arrangements with Snape and Flint. I also have to get you a broom here as soon as possible."

He left a very shocked Ginny Weasley. It was lucky she wasn't paying much attention to what was going on around her. She didn't notice her now missing diary.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Harry entered Dende's classroom. He threw a book down on the desk in front of Dende.

"What in the nine fucking levels of hell is that?" he asked. Dende examined the book for a minute.

"That Harry, is an act against Nature. It's a Horcrux."

"You're shitting me? Who's is it?" Dende turned it over and pointed at the name on the back. "Oh, that is soooo not right. Wait, are you telling me Moldypants split his soul?"

"It appears that way."

"And you didn't know anything about it?"

"I'm not omniscient you know."

"You claim to be enough though. Don't you have a shirt saying you are?"

"Shut it you."

"You think this is the only one?" Dende gave Harry a look that said 'you can't really be that stupid, can you?' "Fair enough. Any idea how many he made?"

"No. But I know where I can find out. You know we're going to have to get rid of these before you confront him, right?"

"I know. But as things are, I can't really go on a treasure hunt right now, now can I?"

"True. But I think it wouldn't be cheating too much if we outsourced this particular task….."

"Who do you have in mind, oh Guardian?" Dende just smirked at Harry.

"Don't worry about it. They'll be out of the picture well before Tommy boy gets a body back."

Neither of them noticed the bushy haired witch peeking out of the door to Dende's office.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Hermione ran up to Harry in the hall. "Harry, what's a Horcrux?" Harry's eyes widened. He grabbed Hermione and stuffed the two of them into a broom closet. He quickly cast the most powerful privacy spell he knew.

"How did you hear about that?"

"I overheard you and Professor Shen talking earlier…." Harry cursed to himself.

"Ok, I'm only going to tell you this as long as you understand this goes under the category 'things never to talk about with anyone', got it?" Hermione nodded her head. "Ok. A Horcrux is an object that holds part of someone's soul. Its extremely Dark Magic. There isn't even a written record of HOW to create one. It's that bad. And it seems that Voldie happened to make a couple. That's why he's still around."

"Where did that book come from?"

"Ginny had it. She doesn't know I took it. I know I'm going to get yelled at when I tell her. Maybe I can get Luna to tell her for me…."

"If you took it from her, you should be the one to tell her."

"But she can be scary….you know how red heads are..."

"Harry."

"Fine."

"What was Ginny doing with a piece of His sould?"

"I'm not sure. Dende seems to think that it has the ability to control people with enough influence. I don't know. I'm just glad I got it away from her as soon as I did. Who knows what kind of bad things could have come of that."

"True."

The two of them exited the closet to a chorus of whistles and cat calls. Hermione almost feinted out of embarrassment. Harry of course, took a bow.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The next day, Harry entered the common room again. He was carrying a package. He found Ginny again. She looked frantic.

"Hey Ginny."

"Hey Harry. Um…Harry, have you seen my diary by any chance?"

"Actually, I did." Ginny looked slightly relieved.

"Well?"

"I…um….sort of stole it from you…" Ginny's eyes widened.

"YOU WHAT?!" she yelled.

"I had a good reason. Don't you find it a bit odd that the diary talked back to you?"

"What did it say to you Harry?" asked a nervous Ginny.

"Nothing. I didn't actually talk to it. I knew better then that. Ginny, do you know who Tom Riddle is?"

"He was a student who went to school here fifty years ago."

"Do you know what he grew up to do?"

"No idea. He made the diary when he was a student here."

"I know who he is. The bastard killed my parents." It took about ten seconds for recognition to hit Ginny. When she did, she feinted.

"Girls. Why do they always want to feint?" Harry asked no on in particular. He revived Ginny with a quick spell.

"Harry, please tell me I wasn't pouring out my deepest secrets to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"Sorry, Ginny, but you were."

"My mother is going to kill me."

"Don't worry too much. I took the book to Professor Shen. He knew what it was, and how to take care of it. Nothing bad had happened yet. Would you like some good news to help cheer you up?" Ginny slowly nodded her head. Harry picked up the package he had brought in with him. He handed it to Ginny, who opened it up to find a broom she didn't recognize.

"Harry. I've never seen a broom like this. What is this written on it?"

"This Ginny, is the Lightning Bolt. It's from China. It's not even on the market over there. Brooms in Asia are a bit more sophisticated. So, needless to say, this is a good broom. But don't take my word for it, get out and try it." Ginny ran with her new broom. Thoughts of Tom Riddle behind her.

Harry really was glad things had been taken care of before the evil bastard had sunk his claws too deeply into his friend.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

A couple days before Halloween, Luna and Harry were hanging out in the library. For once, Hermione wasn't with them. It was just the two of them.

"Harry, I saw the most interesting thing the other day. Ginny was practicing with the rest of the Slythering team."

"Yeah, that is interesting. Ginny is the youngest seeker in over a century."

"That's not what I found interesting. I've always known she had skill on a broom. What I found interesting was her broom. It was much better then everyone else's."

"So it's a good broom."

"The rest of the team has a Nimbus 2001. The best broom that's supposed to be on the market in Great Britain right now."

"I see nothing wrong with that statement."

"Harry." Luna gave him 'the look.' Harry couldn't resist 'the look' from Luna. Ginny was almost as good with it. But not quite as good as Luna. Hermione was the master at it though.

"Alright. It's a broom from China. They make way better brooms over there, and I happen to have a couple connections that got me the broom right away. And before it's release date. Its supposed to be released next month, right in time for Holliday shopping."

"What kind of connections?" Harry squimmed slightly.

"Ok, so I own the company that makes the broom…."

"So you didn't really have to pay for it. How much is it going to be retail?"

"In galleons?" Luna nodded. "Somewhere in the neighborhood of five thousand I think…"

"That's more then her father makes in a year…"

"Please don't say anything to her."

"I won't. That was a very nice thing you did for her you know. You got her not only a great broom, but a spot on the team. That will go a long way to help her self esteem."

"She's my friend." That was enough explanation needed.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

A/N: wow, that was a little bit more then I thought I'd write tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry Ron wasn't in this one. But I've been wanting to do this to Draco for the longest time.

I imagine a few of you might be disappointed how I took care of the diary story line…but I have my reasons for doing it this way. Trust me. Or at least humor me like you would a small child….

Am I the only one finding Luna to be really funny?

Centaursaremyfriends – Mr. Slave is Aquaman. I made it a little obscure in the last chapter. A lot more hints were dropped about it in this chapter.

Prank war next chapter (for those wondering)