Hungry Like the Wolf

THIRTEEN

There was so much to learn, so much to understand. About Kane. About his life. About myself, surprisingly. That was the one person I would have swore I knew from head to toe.

An interesting tidbit about Kane: He's a toucher. Nibbling. Cuddling. Any form of physical contact was welcome. Especially if I was involved.

The gentle pinch of my skin between his teeth eased me from my slumber. It was better than a freshly brewed pot of coffee. The best part of waking up was a sex god in your bed, nipping at your shoulder like it was the best stuff on Earth.

"Mornin', honey." Those two words vibrated across skin and bones.

I opened my eyes to the golden glow of the morning sun. I had no clue what time it was and could not muster up the effort to care. "Damn fine morning," I declared, voice still thick with sleep.

Kane had drawn back the collar of the shirt he had gifted me in order to get at my flesh. Each short nip was quickly soothed with a swipe of his tongue. Every inch of him pressed against me. The ambient heat of his naked body coupled with his slow devouring of me created stirrings and yearnings within me that I did not have the strength to encourage. The spirit was willing, but the body was very, very weak.

The hand drifting down my stomach did not help matters.

I struggled to change the direction of our encounter. "I like wearing your clothes." There was no way to conceal my breathy gasps. Even though I could barely muster morning wood, Kane had a drastic effect on my weak body. He tugged at the need want chain in my brain. I could not survive another bout of lovemaking so soon, but some traitorous parts of me were willing to try.

"Do you really?"

I felt his lips curve into a smile as his thumb teased the head of my cock. Barely rubbing at the sensitive skin. Not enough pressure to make me hard, but much too much to ignore.

"Mmm… Yeah… I…" When had thinking become so difficult? It was something that I did everyday. At that moment, with Kane plucking at my desire like a finely tuned harp string, I couldn't even remember my address. My train of thought had not simply derailed; it had burst into flames.

Fingers twisting in his hair, I tried again. "I like…"

My brain went haywire as he slipped a finger into my ass. Sore, aching muscles throbbed in protest. Failing at words, I could only groan and whimper. Kane touching me was fantastic. It was also too much of a good thing.

Kane drew himself away from the feast of my flesh. His smile was sinful and wicked and so damn beautiful, I could hardly stand it. "You're still slick inside, Chris." He thrust his fingers lewdly. His eyes burned into mine, pupils growing wide. "That's my come, isn't it? That's my come making you slippery."

If I had the vocabulary, I would have begged for mercy. As far as my ears could tell, all that came out of my mouth were the sighs of a lost soul. I was trapped in that Twilight Zone between pain and pleasure.

His eyes traveled down my body. He did not bother concealing his lust. There was no point, really. It was as constant as the pounding of my heart.

Without warning, his fingers stilled and were yanked from my body. Kane's face had changed. His mask of desire had cracked down the middle and shattered. In its place was horror. "Dear god, what have I done?"

This did not compute. Kane had been seducing me. Nearly killing me in the process, yes, but what a wonderful way to go. I should have been grateful that he was no longer touching me, but that was nothing to celebrate. "You haven't done anything." My first instinct was to console him. To reach out for his hand and bring it back to my body.

"I hurt you," he whispered, voice breaking. "How could I do that?" He backed away, crawling to the far side of the bed.

Now, I was terrified. Confused and terrified. "You didn't," I swore. I continued to reach for him, even as he edged out of my grasp. "I'm fine, Kane. Please, come here."

He would hear none of it. And the look on his face… Shame and guilt mixed with fear. It did not belong. It had no business existing in our world. "What kind of monster am I? How could I do that to you?"

"You're not!" He was out of my reach. I could not understand what he was seeing. What horror was unfolding before his eyes? "You're not! You're the best there is. Maybe better than I deserve." Desperation gripped my chest. I could barely breathe. What was happening? Why? Why wouldn't he touch me? "I love you, Kane."

That was the wrong thing to say.

His eyes grew wide and wild. "How can you say that?" He had left the bed and was backing towards the door. "Look at what I did to you!" Kane dropped to his knees, hands tearing at his hair.

I had woken to a nightmare. None of it made sense. I was fine. A little sore, yes, but it was the best kind of soreness. I scrambled off the bed to kneel in front of him. "I'm fine," I repeated, not sure if anything I was saying was getting through to him. "You haven't done anything to me that I didn't ask for. Don't you remember how I begged for you?" I did. Vividly.

Kane shook his head. "I should never have asked you to come here. I should have made you stay away."

"Stop this!" I didn't mean to scream, but couldn't help myself. I was two very short steps away from hysteria. Because it sounded like Kane didn't want me anymore. "You did nothing wrong!"

Laughing harshly, he glared at me. "Look in the mirror before you sing my praises. Maybe then you'll understand the kind of monster I am."

It amazed me the crystal clarity with which my mind recalled the presence of a mirror on the inside of the closet door. I left Kane only because I had to. Once I saw whatever it was he was imagining, I could help him get over it. Help him get back to the way we were.

I threw open the door and stood before the full length mirror. "Shit…"

Bruises. A violent, malicious shade of purple marred my skin. The contusions circled my waist in a sickening band. I pressed a finger below my belly button, not truly believing my eyes. I expected to receive a sharp pain at the prodding. Instead, it was dull and far removed. As if they belonged on another body.

Kane had done that to me. A few hours ago, after becoming human again. I remembered those large hands gripping me tight, but they hadn't hurt. Nothing hurt. All I knew was pleasure. I had enjoyed every moment of our mating. I had not expected the aftermath to be this brutal.

It all weighed heavily on Kane's mind. Broke his spirit. He blamed himself. I couldn't let him do that.

"This is not your fault." I turned away from the mirror, no longer caring what it showed me. I knew the truth. "Stuff like this happens all the time."

There was that bitter chuckle again. It tore at my heart. "Oh, really? Name the last person that did that to you." He did not wait for my response. "Name the last person that took you against your will. That forced himself on you. That fucking violated you while you slept!"

"You didn't!" He was twisting it in his mind so that he came out looking like the villain. "It wasn't like that and you know it!"

Kane stood and I quickly recalled how imposing he could truly be. Hands curled into fists, he took a step towards me. "I did it, Chris. I snuck in here and I found you and I wanted you. Wanted you so bad that I could think of nothing else. So I took you. Because that's what I wanted. I didn't ask your permission. I didn't care about consent. You were mine, Chris. You belonged to me and I fucking took you!"

"That's not how it was!" I didn't give a damn who heard me. They could all bust down the door. My world was falling to pieces. "I wanted you!"

Stalking over to the dresser, Kane yanked open a drawer. He pulled out a pair of jeans. Dragging them up his long legs, he spat, "What choice did you have? You couldn't have stopped me. I'm bigger, stronger. Being freaks gives us the advantage. There's no balance in this relationship. No fairness. I can just take whatever I want. And I'll do it again, Chris. That's the worst part. Because I enjoyed it. I liked the power I had over you. You were mine, Chris, and I would have you whether you wanted it or not. Maybe you're too kind to see the monster in me, but I refuse to let it hurt you again."

Kane stormed out the room, slamming the door so hard the hinges shook. I could only stand there, wearing nothing but his borrowed shirt and wondering. How could my heart keep beating after being ripped out of my chest?