INVASION EVASION
AN: FINALLY! I know, right? Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but here you go.
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"I think the data from your next batch of samples is ready to be sent for analysis."
"Squeal-sqEEEeeal-beep-beeEEp-click."
Walter slapped his hands over his ears. "First, would you see if there's anything you can do about that thing? It's really distracting."
"Ping. Click-clang-waaaaaail-scrEEEEEEEch-ding-ding-bEep."
Paige gave the love of her life a dirty look, but she dared not speak her mind. Because ever since they'd thrown caution to the wind and decided to remove their space suits once inside the space station's command center, every time either of them spoke a word, a stupid cube identical to the one that zapped their robot emitted these strange, shrill and completely annoying sounds. Like a loud demon had possessed a fax machine or something.
What did Walter expect her to do about it? He was the tech genius. Couldn't he figure out how to make it shut the hell up?
They were both extremely frustrated with their lack of progress in finding the potential threat and also with the scientists in the mother ship who kept pestering them constantly with suggestions and demands for more samples. She sorely wanted to give them a few suggestions of her own.
Paige snatched her helmet off the counter and stalked over near the offending object.
"Careful," Walter cautioned.
"Squaawww-awk."
"Shut up!" Paige snapped at the blathering block from hell.
"Chime-beep!"
Standing poised to drop her helmet to over it and hopefully to, at least, muffle the irksome noises, she reminded it testily, "I said, shut up!"
"Ting-blatt. Chime-beep."
Okay. That was a little freaky. Was the thing mocking her? Her eyes darted over briefly to see if Walter was watching her. Nope. He was up to his eyebrows in building schematics trying to find hidden storage spaces or unexplored passageways; anything that might house a prospective hazard to all of humanity.
She felt a bit silly as she squatted down in front of the cube and whispered, "Shut up."
"Chime-beep," it repeated softly.
Was she having a bizarre, spacey flashback to the 90s when she and her friends used to amuse themselves with a Yak Bak Warpr?
"Hey, Walter. Come here a sec," she called, ignoring the electronic, babbling feedback.
"Not a good time," he replied shortly, frowning and rubbing at his temples when the cube fired off another string of ear-splitting sounds.
"Humor me." Paige dropped her helmet over the cube, so they could have a somewhat uninterrupted conversation. She stood and faced Walter. "Okay, don't laugh, but I think this thing is imitating us."
He gave her a skeptical look. "Why? What would be the purpose?"
"How should I know? An alien's idea of a hilarious joke? Just listen. Then you can tell me if I'm only imagining things." She lifted the helmet and repeated the 'shut up' experiment a few times while Walter listened intently, his expression pensive.
Paige covered the cube again and stood. "Well? Am I crazy?"
A knowing grin spread across his face. Oh, what that smile always did to her.
"Paige! You're brilliant!" He grasped her shoulders and gave her a hard, smacking kiss right on the mouth, substantially increasing those flutters the smile had started in her belly.
Down, girl. They didn't have time for a 'passionate encounter' at the moment.
"What?" she asked breathlessly, smiling back daftly. She was so stupid in love with this guy.
"It's a translator! It's translating our words into whatever form of language the aliens use."
"So, Joe Alien speaks Synthesizer? How does that help us exactly?"
"So far, we haven't found any keyboards or monitors anywhere. No touch screens. No buttons. Not even so much as a mouse. Nothing. I was literally just thinking everything must be voice command activated when you called me over. That presents a real problem if we don't speak their language." He waggled his eyebrows. Since when had she started thinking his geeking-out was incredibly sexy? Who was she kidding? Since always. Some lunar nookie was definitely in order as soon as possible. Once they took care of all the pesky alien issues. "But we do now."
He stooped and reached out like he was about to pick up the device. Paige grabbed his arm to stop him. "Walter! What are you doing? What if you get a handful of volts?"
"That's highly unlikely. I think the shock Virgyl sustained must've been a malfunction. None of the other cubes appear to be emitting an electrical charge of any kind. There's a square indention in the central command module. I believe the translator is meant to plug into it."
"Still. You don't know for sure. At least glove up. Please? For me? I kinda like having you around."
They shared a sappy grin before Walter quickly complied, sliding a glove on over his hand. He was able to pick up the cube without incident. When he plugged it in, it fit perfectly. Once connected, it vibrated with a subtle hum.
He gave Paige two enthusiastic thumbs up. One gloved, one not to cover all bases.
Neither was too excited several fruitless minutes later after they'd asked the translator over and over to show them what they needed to know. They had rephrased the command in every conceivable way. The cube would repeat it in electronic gibberish and the computer would answer in electronic gibberish. Then the cube would feed the same response back to them each and every time in the same eerie, inflectionless English.
"Faulty command. Unable to comply."
Paige was ready to throw the damned translator across the room. "Maybe it's your hearing that's 'faulty'. Did you ever think about that?" She was yelling at inanimate objects. Maybe being on the moon had made her go truly loony?
Her snippy words caused Walter to become thoughtful again. It wasn't long before he started muttering to himself. "Hearing Impaired. Yes. It could be. It makes sense…"
"You wanna fill me in, here?"
"Instead of having faulty hearing, perhaps they're blind."
More confused than before, she asked on a sigh, "What are you talking about now?"
He was murmuring mostly to himself when he answered. "I think our hosts must've been sightless beings. We keep asking the computer to show us. What if the computer simply doesn't understand the command?"
Without waiting to explain further, he instructed the translator one more time. "State your entire purpose for Earth?"
They both waited impatiently through the beeps and whistles that followed. They could tell the response was much lengthier. That, at least, was a good sign.
When the cube began speaking in its monotone, mechanical English, it wasn't long before a chill of dread washed over Paige.
"Earth. Colloquial name human inhabitants call the planet this moon orbits. Proper Classification: Colony MW26.4/1.0S12B3-5514. Sociological Behavior Observation of Developed Beings: Strong evidence of human devolvement. Regressing to animal urges and instincts coupled with lack of value for rational thought or reasoned decision making. Inability to cooperate for nominal common good. Atmospheric Declaration: Experiment Phase One failed due to presence and number of pollutants and high probability of slow self-extinction of all life forms by human carelessness and over population. Conclusion: Current path of evolution no longer sustainable. Stratagem for future use: Eliminate all carbon-based life forms using specified neutralizing toxins on -304353.85273972614. Allow for dissipation of toxins until -125876.82648401824. Begin new evolution with Phase Two RNA sequence on 874123.1735159818."
No sugar coating was offered to help them swallow that bitter pill. She could feel the dooming weight of the detached pronouncement even though Paige couldn't understand all of it. She once again dropped her helmet overtop the cube. She didn't want to hear any more.
She glanced over at Walter. Instead of appearing as alarmed as she was feeling, he was furiously scribbling equations on his tablet. Sometimes she sincerely envied his ability to shut off his feelings of fear.
He paused and chewed his lip, contemplating. "By my calculations, we're looking at roughly a seventeen hour window before the toxins are released into Earth's atmosphere. Hey. Uncover the cube. I have more questions and apparently no time to waste."
Paige reluctantly removed the buffer, but walked away, putting some distance between herself and the thing that was declaring the destruction of all life on her home planet so indifferently.
She worked on transmitting the sample data back to the shuttle and did her best to tune out all further discussion of catastrophic plans until Walter called out, "Paige! I think I've figured out the general location where the toxins are hidden. We need to get over there. Pronto."
"I'm almost done with this batch…"
He snatched up her helmet and his glove and rushed over to where the bulk of their space suits lay in heaps next to the door. "We need to go now," he reiterated, "I don't know how long it will take us to disarm the delivery method. I could really use Happy's expertise about now. Hurry. We'll need to suit up again."
Paige made a face. "Do we have to? That thing makes me look and feel like the Michelin Tire Man."
Walter gave her a funny look. "I don't know who that is. Nevertheless we can't risk exposure to this toxin. It's sequenced specifically to target certain genetics. Anything with DNA or even simple RNA would be affected. It halts all cell division. That would not be… a pleasant way to go."
She thrust one foot petulantly through the leg of the spongy, white monstrosity of a suit, wedging her toes into the built in boot. "So that's the plan these alien turds have for all of life on a whole planet? Halting our cell division or whatever? I guess we'd develop holes all over like Swiss cheese then eventually keel over?"
Walter shook his head while pulling the thick jacket on over his arms. "Oh, you would die long before it got to the stage where you fell apart. The average body makes about 2 to 3 million red blood cells every second. If that process was interrupted, your brain and organs would shut down from lack of oxygen first."
"Lovely." Paige plunked her helmet over her head and double checked all her fastenings. "Higher beings? Hah! More like a bunch of homicidal jerks!"
He held up a fat, gloved finger. "Technically it wouldn't be homicide because they aren't human. Homicide is defined as a human killing another. Not to mention they plan to wipe out animals, plants and even bacteria and viruses as well."
"Okay not homicidal. Just herbicidal, bactericidal, everything-icidal! Who cares! They're murderers! Where are we going?"
"Sector Three," Walter shrugged and grabbed Paige's hand, leading her out the door and presumably toward their goal. "Unfortunately, they don't see people as individuals worth saving. We are simply a failed experiment to them. It would be like us pouring gasoline on an anthill. That is how advanced they are compared with us."
She squeezed his hand. "Well, I think they suck. Obviously, they never studied you. Because if they did, they would realize humankind is worth saving."
Walter stopped in his tracks and turned to look over at her wearing a flabbergasted expression.
"What?" Paige asked.
"Do you really feel that way?"
Her lips curved up in a smile. "Yes."
"It's ridiculously untrue of course, but I can honestly say that is the single nicest compliment anyone has ever paid me. Thank you."
She leaned her head in the direction of his shoulder and banged her helmet into his in the process. "Stupid space suits. Is it so hard to believe that I love you? That I think the world of you?"
"Yes. Sometimes."
"I'm sorry I ever made you doubt it."
Paige wrapped her arms around one of his and they continued on toward Sector Three, wherever that was. She wasn't paying attention. She was too busy thinking up ways to make sure Walter knew how special she considered him. She decided he'd faced enough rejection in his life. It was time for him to know he was accepted fully. No matter what. She vowed, if they got out of this situation alive, she would spend the rest of her life convincing him.
Their progress ground to a halt in the hallway between two pods. Walter frowned down at his tablet in confusion. "I don't get it. We just left Sector Four, but this map says the door ahead of us is Sector Two. We appear to be standing within Sector Three, but I see no egress."
They both glanced around, shining their lights in different directions. Nothing.
Couldn't anything about this mission be easy? Paige rolled her eyes skyward and she noticed something lurking above them.
"Hey, Walt. Shine your light up."
They both trained the beams toward the amber-colored ceiling.
There it was. Sector Three. Crouching like a powerful predator atop the arched corridor readied to spring. They could see its evil intent plainly enough through the transparent material separating them. Huge, hulking missiles with wicked, pointed noses aiming their deadly payload toward the beautiful, vibrant blue world that was their home.
Well, they'd located the threat anyway.
Only one question remained. Could the lab rats find a way in and run the maze fast enough to stop it?