Chapter 14

The weeks passed and I recovered remarkably well, but, though I questioned Nadir daily, there was no word from Erik. Each time I asked him, I grew more and more frightened for Erik's safety. Since there was nothing I could do for him then, I tried to find things to do to take my mind off him. As soon as I was well enough to move about, I began preparing for my role as a vocal teacher. I had not really sang since I left the opera house, so to say I was rusty was a gross understatement. I began practicing again every day, which often left me breathless from my still healing injuries, but I was determined to get back to where I had been at the time of my departure from the opera.

Not only did I begin daily practice routines, but I had begun inquiring regarding interest in a school for girls that would teach them vocal techniques, acting and dancing lessons and found that there was quite a bit of interest. I sent out letters to the families that I had learned lived near my little village of Boscherville informing them that I was a vocal teacher from Paris and would soon be relocating to the village where I would be offering vocal lessons to young ladies. I was not certain how much to ask for my services, but Madame Giry had suggested that often titled families valued your services by how easily others could afford them. If I were affordable enough that less wealthy families could afford to hire me, they may assume that my services were on equal footing with the amount I charged for them. This concept was bizarre to me, but it made a certain kind of sense. If they felt that my services were so exorbitant that only the elite could afford them, then perhaps that would lend weight to the perceived value of said services. After all, if every Tom, Dick and Harry could hire me, then what I offered couldn't very well be worth much, right?

I was quite nervous about implementing this strategy when I sent the letters out, but before two weeks had passed I had an invitation to visit the country home of the De Villiers family to discuss my services further. Then I received another invitation, then another and the next thing I knew, I was looking at spending a few weeks in the country at the estates of various wealthy and titled families. Meg squealed with delight as I opened each invitation and I admit, I was nearly beside myself. I had never been a very outgoing person and, quite honestly, the thought of going to visit these wealthy families frightened me more than I admitted, even to myself, but I was determined that I should go. I knew I could never realize my dreams if I were too afraid to even try.

During these weeks, Nadir had become my constant companion. Erik had entrusted my safety to him and he, apparently, took his position very seriously. I was never out of his sight when I went out during the day and in the evenings, he and I would play chess in the drawing room, laughing and talking like old friends. Meg and Madame Giry often joined us in the evenings with Madame Giry even inviting Nadir to dinner on several occasions. I learned many things about Erik during this time, but never what I truly wanted to learn. I was terribly curious as to what this debt that he owed to Erik could have been, but I knew better than to ask. I figured that Nadir would tell me when he felt comfortable enough to do so. I got the feeling that there were many painful memories in Nadir's past and Erik had something to do with at least some of them.

Had I not been so worried about Erik during this time, those weeks would have been the happiest I believe I had ever spent. Even Raoul seemed to have come to his senses and no longer begged me to leave Madame Giry's. I suppose that could have been attributed to the fact that Erik no longer seemed to be around, but at the time, that didn't occur to me. I was simply grateful to have him acting like he had when we had been friends as children. We were able to laugh together and I found that I was enjoying his company once again. Everything seemed to be falling into place for me, but it was a hollow triumph when I did not have Erik here to share it with. When I asked Nadir about Erik, he assured me that Erik was perfectly capable of accomplishing what he set out to do, but that it could take a very long time to do it. How long, I had wanted to know. Weeks or even months, he had replied. These things take time and delicacy. I was not happy, but I had to satisfy myself with Nadir's answers. He, himself, did not seem to be overly concerned with Erik's fate, so I told myself that I should try not to worry so much.

So, I threw myself into my preparations and was soon ensconced in my little house in Boscherville. Meg had come with me and was staying in the spare bedroom. Madame Giry had, very kindly, given me a few pieces of furniture with which to get started. I was very grateful to her for that. Nadir, for his part, came with me to Boscherville and took a room at the inn, though I protested greatly that he should stay at the house with me. He would not hear of it, however. He said it was not proper for a man old enough to be my father to say with two beautiful young ladies unchaperoned. He had wiggled his eyebrows wickedly when he said this causing Meg and me to collapse into fits of giggles. After only a week at the inn, Nadir had found a little place to rent closer to the center of town, and I was much relieved when he moved out of the inn and into his rooms above the butcher's shop.

I managed my visits with the De Villiers and the other wealthy families in the area remarkably well considering how nervous and frightened I was. Meg accompanied me as my companion and soon I had three students lined up to begin teaching in the fall. One student, in particular, was very promising and I believed I could work very well with her. I began to look forward to my first lessons.

I had been living in my little house for nearly two months and the weather had begun to grow cooler when I remembered the trunk in the attic. It was late afternoon and the hottest part of the day had passed when I climbed the narrow stairs to the attic. Meg was downstairs in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Nadir was coming over and I had invited Mademoiselle Perrault as well. I had run into her as I came back from town, so I invited her to join us for dinner that evening.

It was still hot in the attic and I knew I shouldn't stay long as I didn't want to get sweaty and dirty right before our dinner guests arrived, so I decided I would take a quick look and then, head back downstairs to get ready for dinner. The trunk was where I had left it, right in front of the window. I lifted the lid and peered inside, seeing the architectural books again. I thought, with a pang, that Erik would likely enjoy those. I quickly set them out, intending to ask Nadir to take them downstairs so that I could have them in the bookcase for Erik to peruse when he came to visit. I found the little journal and the marriage certificate, but other than that, there was little of interest in the trunk. I shuffled the papers around a little, and found the piece of mirror that I had cut my hand upon the last time I had been up here. Shaking my head, I placed it back in the trunk along with the papers I had removed and closed the lid.

Disappointed that there was no more information forthcoming on the mysterious Madeleine, I turned and was walking back to the stairs when something caught my eye. On the floor, directly behind where the trunk had been before I moved it under the window, it looked as if something small had fallen out of the trunk and now lay on the floor. I walked over to it and discovered it was only a loose floorboard and reached down to put it back in its place when I saw that something had been placed in the narrow niche underneath the loose board. I pulled the board the rest of the way out, then reached into the little niche and pulled out a small scrap of cloth. Frowning, I held the cloth up to examine it. When I saw what it was I very nearly collapsed onto the floor. As it was, I fell upon my knees with a sharp gasp. It could not be! It was simply not possible! I examined the cloth again and again, unable now to see it for anything other than what it actually was. A tiny child-sized mask.

I don't know how long I sat there in the attic, staring at the mask when I heard Nadir's voice behind me. "Christine?" he said softly as he stepped into the attic.

I looked up at him with tears running down my face and wordlessly handed him the little cloth mask I had been clutching tightly. He frowned as he looked at it, then back at me, not quite sure of the connection.

"I found it there, under the floorboard. This was his house, Nadir. Madeleine was his mother. I read her journal. I wondered why she never wrote again after the birth of her baby and now I know. I assumed her child had died and I felt so badly for her. It is impossible I know, but , well, here we are, aren't we?"

"Christine, come downstairs with me before you have a heatstroke up here. We'll sort this all out downstairs, okay?" His tone was soothing, as if he were speaking to a small child and I supposed he couldn't be faulted for that. I must have appeared quite a sight, sitting on the floor crying over a scrap of cloth. I allowed him to help me up and we descended the narrow stairs. Nadir closed the attic door behind us, then returned to me and I took his arm as we walked down second flight of stairs to the living room together. I saw that Mademoiselle Perrault had arrived and I could not help the sharp stab of resentment I felt toward her, knowing she had been Madeleine's friend. Knowing how Erik's mother had treated him, I didn't know how one could be friends with such a person.

"Oh, my dear, whatever is the matter?" Mademoiselle Perrault exclaimed when she saw my tear-streaked face. Meg whirled around, then, and caught sight of me as Nadir led me to the sofa. Her face filled with concern as she rushed over to my side. I put my arms around her and hugged her tightly, crying into her shoulder while she stroked my hair soothingly. I could sense their confused glances at each other shooting around the small room, so I tried to master my emotions enough to try to explain what I had stumbled across.

"I was in the attic looking through the old trunk when I discovered a loose floorboard. When I went to replace the board, I found a scrap of cloth hidden underneath." I watched Mademoiselle Perrault's face carefully when I said this and I found a certain satisfaction in watching it turn a shade paler. "As it turns out, it was not a scrap of cloth at all, but a mask." I looked her directly in the eyes then. "Erik's mask."

Mademoiselle Perrault's hand went to her throat and she collapsed into the chair she had been standing by. "How could you know that?" She asked, her voice incredulous.

"It is Erik's mask, then?" I nearly shrieked. "You! How could you have been friends with that horrible woman who gave birth to him? The scars he wears on his face are nothing compared to the scars he bears on his soul because of what she did to him! I felt so badly for her when I first heard of her, but now I know what she truly was. There was a monster born in Erik's family, but the monster's name was Madeleine, not Erik!" I had grown hysterical by this point and Nadir grasped my arms and pulled me bodily from the couch, then turned me around and marched me back up the stairs to my room before I could protest. He slammed the door behind him, and glared at me while blocking the door. "Let me out of here, Nadir. I have not finished speaking with Mademoiselle Perrault."

"After all your theatrics I daresay she won't be spending any more time here than it takes her to find her way to the front door."

"Good!" I shouted at him.

"Good, you say? How is this good? You have tried and condemned Mademoiselle Perrault in your heart without ever asking her side of the story. This is not like you, Christine. I have never seen you act like this."

I glared at him for a long moment, then stomped over to the bed and flung myself down on it. "What side could she possibly have? She was friends with that fiend who bore Erik, then denied him the very thing that every person on this earth is entitled to. A mother's love."

"You don't know what the circumstances were, Christine. You have judged her guilty without giving her a chance. I know that you care deeply for Erik, but that is no excuse for the way you have treated Mademoiselle Perrault. You will apologize to her before this evening is over."

"I will not!" I cried

Nadir said nothing, only stood there regarding me with that look of utter disappointment in his eyes.

"You can stare at me that way all you like, but I won't apologize to her. She doesn't deserve an apology."

Nadir's eyebrows rose slightly.

"You can't force me to apologize, you know." I said, sullenly. I was met with more silence.

"Nadir, you can't keep me here in this room forever! Meg made dinner for us all and it is getting cold." Silence.

"Oh all right. I will apologize. But not because I think she deserves it."

Without a word, Nadir opened the bedroom door and stepped back, indicating that I should precede him out the door. As I walked past him, he grasped my arm in what could only be described as a viselike grip and descended the stairs with me.

I was surprised to find that Mademoiselle Perrault was still here and sitting in the chair she had nearly fallen into when I began my tirade. She looked up when I entered the room and I could see that her face was tear streaked. I began to feel a small amount of pity for her.

"Mademoiselle Perrault, I would like to apologize for my behavior just now. You see, I never knew where Erik lived when he was a child. I only knew that he had a horrible, cruel mother..." Nadir elbowed me hard in the ribs. "I was shocked to discover that this is the house he was born in and that Madeleine was the mother he told me of. I am sorry that I have accused you of having any part in how Erik was treated."

Mademoiselle Perrault looked at me, her plain face a mask of misery,(no pun intended). "I do not blame you for your reaction, Mademoiselle Daae. Madeleine treated that boy abominably and I told her so. Only by the time she realized what harm she had caused, he had run away."

I sank down onto the sofa and Nadir seemed to relax slightly, apparently reassured that I was not going to go into another tirade against Mademoiselle Perrault. "Will you tell me about them, Madeleine and Erik?"

She regarded me, her eyes terribly sad and suddenly old. "I will tell you what I can, Mademoiselle if you will only tell me how you know Erik."

"Perhaps we can discuss this over dinner?" Meg interjected in a pleading tone.

"Dinner? Oh my! I completely forgot about dinner! Oh, Meg, please forgive me! You worked so hard to cook a nice meal for us all and I have gone and ruined it all! Yes, please, let's have dinner. I am truly sorry for my outburst earlier and hope that you will please stay, Mademoiselle Perrault, although I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to step foot into this house again." By this time, I was thoroughly shamed by my uncharacteristic behavior.

"Of course I forgive you, Mademoiselle Daae, and please call me Marie. It seems ridiculous to stand on formality at this point, no? I would be honored to stay for dinner." Her composure had returned and I sincerely wished for a rock that I could crawl under and hide.

It was as if we had reached a tacit agreement not to discuss the topic of Madeleine and Erik during dinner, so we talked of the weather, the town, the people I had met so far; anything other than what we all wanted to discuss. I was eager to learn as much as I could about Erik's childhood, but I instinctively dreaded having the knowledge as well. I couldn't help but wonder if it even mattered now that Erik had set out for parts unknown and I had no idea when or even if he would ever return. I fiercely reprimanded myself for even having such thoughts. I could not allow my mind to dwell on that possibility. Of course Erik would return. There was too much left unsaid and undone between us. He had to come back. I fervently hoped that it would be so.