I think the last chapter was a little dull and it definitely wasn't the best, but I needed to tie up a few loose ends I'd created. This one should be better as I worked a little harder on it. I hope it's not too depressing. I promise it will get better soon. I hope you enjoy it! )

Disclaimer: I do not own The Matrix.

When Lux arrived back home she felt tired and listless. She walked past the kitchen, ignoring her mother's greeting from the stove. The smell of chicken wafted through the apartment, but it only made Lux feel nauseous. She headed to her room and abruptly closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath.

Lux felt the familiar emptiness of loneliness and misery creep back into her body, enveloping her without warning. It made her angry. She was past this, wasn't she? She'd already felt the worst of it, and she thought it was time for things to start looking up.

She thought about Cody being returned home unconscious, unable to hug her, kiss her, or even speak to her. She saw the life she was expecting to have wash away down the drain forever. She'd thought that either Cody would tragically die somewhere far away from her, or he'd come home rushing into her arms. She hadn't thought about a reality lying somewhere in between. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't even really sure how she felt about the whole situation. She began to feel anxious more than afraid.

Lux walked over to her bed sluggishly and fell down onto it, her face buried into her pillow. She laid like that for a good half an hour, until she heard a light knock at her door and her mother's voice.

"Lux honey, dinner's ready."

Lux slowly turned her head towards the door and said in her most cheerfully fake voice, "I'm not really hungry thanks."

She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. She knew her mother wouldn't like her answer, but she hoped she wouldn't be able to tell how distressed she was.

Trinity opened the door slowly and walked inside, coming over to sit on the bed next to Lux, who still lying face down.

"I thought you were feeling better," said Trinity in a disappointed voice.

Lux considered continuing her facade of cheerfulness, but she didn't have the energy.

"Yeah well… guess not," she said in a dull voice, muffled by her pillow.

Trinity rubbed her back soothingly saying, "it'll be alright."

Lux was getting really sick of this. The pity was stifling. Closing her eyes, she felt like she was back in the sewer tunnel all over again. She longed for the satisfaction of being able to appear defeated and not trying to regain her composure constantly.

"I'm not hungry," she repeated tiredly.

"Alright," said Trinity getting up, "you can eat later if you want."

Trinity walked out of the room and slowly closed the door behind her. Lux was stunned. Her mother never let things go or ever gave her space. Suddenly, Lux almost wished her mother had forced her to come out and eat. Her lack of immediate concern was unsettling.

Lux felt the pressure of having to work out her anxieties on her own once again. Her mother wouldn't be there forever to help her through things. She needed some sort of release. It worked last time. As bad as it felt to runaway or to almost drown in the tub, afterwards she had felt so much better. She wondered if it would work again.

Lux sat up slowly and looked around her room. She got up, rifling through her drawers and raking through her closet, looking for something, anything. She had no idea who this person was, the one that seemed to take over her body. She liked it though, in a way. She felt alive and liberated. She felt free from her old constraints and inhibitions. She could do the things that the old Lux would never even dream of doing.

Lux stood up from her position on her knees, where she had been searching through an old box of papers. There was nothing, nothing to help her feel relaxed again. She felt the nerves build up in her stomach and her blood run hot through her veins. She was beginning to feel desperate again. She tired to think of Ana, of her mother, her father, of Cody, even Mode, but she couldn't find their faces. It was as if whatever had taken over her had suppressed her ability to rationalize.

Lux headed out of her room and quietly walked down the hall, away from the kitchen where she could hear her mother grabbing some forks out of a drawer. Her father didn't appear to be home yet, so Lux felt it was safe to venture into her parents' room. She walked inside and looked around the dimly lit room. It was spotless as always, the clean crisp off-white sheets on the bed without even a crease.

Lux headed for the dresser first, pulling open drawers as quietly as possible. She rifled through her parent's clothes, but still could not find what she was looking for. She pushed closed the last drawer and looked down defeated. She was about to give up and just go back to her room when she spotted her father's desk. It was a small table in the corner with a few drawers. He kept this work papers in there, but Lux knew he also kept a few personal items in it.

She remembered back to when she was a small child and had decided to look inside the drawers. She knew she wasn't allowed, but curiosity had overcome her and she stumbled upon something in the bottom drawer. She had been about it pick it up and inspect it when her father came in and slammed the drawer closed angrily, almost catching her hand. He bent down and grabbed her shoulders, glaring at her with intensity. He then reprimanded her about not obeying. He'd said it was for her own safety. Lux had been so scared and upset about the incident she'd never even approached the desk ever again. Right now, however, the person who had taken over Lux had decided to break through this invisible barrier and find what she was looking for.

Lux walked over slowly, glancing back behind her towards the door, making sure her mother was still in the kitchen. She knelt down and placed her hand on the drawer's handle. She hoped it was still there, but a part of her also hoped it wasn't so that she couldn't use it. She pulled the drawer open slowly and spotted a stack of papers. She let out the breath that she'd been holding. It wasn't there. She felt a mixture of disappointment and relief. She looked at the papers curiously and picked them up. That was when it rolled out from underneath. It was a bottle of pills

Lux stared at the bottle for a solid minute before picking it up nervously. It was full. Lux saw there must have been at least a hundred pills inside. She turned over the label and read Lorazepam: 2mg.

Lux knew her father had the pills for when he had trouble sleeping years ago. She had heard her parents talking late one night about it. Lux turned over the bottle a few times and remained lost in her thoughts. She told herself over and over again to put the bottle back, close the drawer, and walk out of the room. If she did that, her parents would never know and it would be her secret forever. No one would have to find out what she almost did.

Lux made to put the bottle down, but found it stayed in her hand. She couldn't let go. The person inside of her got angry again. She needed this. It wasn't fair that she had to deal with this all on her own. One pill would end her suffering, and put her mind and heart at ease.

Lux knew the pills had probably expired years ago and her father had just forgotten to throw them out, but this fact wasn't enough to sway her decision. She popped off the lid and put a pill into her hand. It was tiny, barely more than a few centimeters wide. One tiny pill couldn't possible do her any harm. Neither could two or even three. Lux poured out a handful and put the lid back on the bottle. She placed the pile of pills onto the top of the desk, while she carefully put the bottle back underneath the papers and closed the drawer. Her father probably never even checked the pills and he would never know she had taken away.

Lux stood up and scooped up the pills. She had about twenty or so in her hand. She realized what she was about to do. Taking all of them could potentially kill her. Lux let the words sink in as she stood staring at the pills in her hand. What was she thinking? She couldn't do this. Not again, not to her family.

This time she saw them all clearly, her mother, her father, Ana, Cody, and Mode. This small handful of pills would kill them all, not just her. She couldn't and she wouldn't do that to them. She remembered that after her previous incident, along with feeling loved and cared for, she had also felt unbearable guilt. Doing what she was about to do was exactly how to make the situation worse. She finally realized it, and knew that she couldn't go through with it.

Lux made up her mind to flush the pills. She headed out of the room and was about to walk out when she ran right into her father.

Lux almost fell over in surprise. She quickly regained her footing, scrunching up her fist containing the pills and stared up at her father.

"Hey there," he said smiling at her curiously, "what were you doing?"

Lux swallowed deeply and felt her blood run cold. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt the color drain from her face. She was terrified of her father in that moment. She couldn't possibly explain the situation to him, not without first exposing her initial idea. She was stuck in a horrible situation.

If she'd only had a window of a few more minutes, she could have gotten rid of the pills, no one being the wiser. She dared to think maybe she could still manage to keep her cool but she realized it would be impossible. Her body was giving her away, screaming out her fear. She couldn't find words and only managed to stutter out a few syllables.

"Um… I… I w-w-was… j-just…" Lux spat out. She was finding it difficult to breathe now.

Her father was looking at her with fear and concern. He moved to take up the entire doorway preventing her from moving past him. He was trapping her.

"Lux…" he said slowly, "what were you doing?"

Lux felt her fear intensify. She was running out of time. She had to think of a way out of the situation, but her mind was dizzy.

"Nothing," she squeaked out, her voice cracking.

"Lux," said her father, looking her over. He spotted her one clenched fist and swallowed again before speaking, "what's in your hand?"

Lux's heart was pounding so loudly now that she could barely hear his voice. She had to run. If she made it to the bathroom she could lock the door and flush the pills before he could see. He would still know something was wrong, but maybe he wouldn't figure out just how serious it was. It was the only exit Lux could think of. Her father had made this difficult however, as he had taken to covering the doorway. He noticed her eyeing the open hallway behind him and read her thoughts, by moving over more to hide her view.

Lux's body was shaking and she was nervously glancing around the room, thinking of anything else. If she ran back first he would come after her and she could get around him. Standing her ground was doing nothing for her. She made up and her mind and decided to act. Lux took a slow step backwards and then another, her fist squeezing onto the pills with all the strength she had.

"Lux," her father said again, not moving from the doorway. He was eyeing her now not with concern, but with determination. He wasn't going to let her leave the room.

Lux took another step backwards, then another, picking up pace until she was backed up against the bed. She was now about seven steps away from her father still looming at her from the doorway.

Lux felt tears burn at her eyes, she was so afraid. She knew she had no chance to win this but she had to try. Any outcome was better than her father finding the pills in her hand, knowing what she had been about to do, yet again. Lux could sense her father's movement, he was about to run at her any moment and wrestle her to the ground before she could get away. She waited. She knew her father also knew her plan and he was waiting too. They stood their ground, both waiting for the other to make the first move.

Neo moved forwards, rushing at Lux and she dodged him. He fell onto the bed and turned to run after her as she made her way to the doorway. He caught her as she was about to run down the hall and pinned her again the wall just outside the door. He pushed her hard and slammed her back against the cold hard steel, causing her to cry out in surprise and fear. He had his hands against her shoulder, pinning her in place as Lux tried to break free but to no avail. Her father was incredibly strong and held her with ease. He was trying to maneuver so he could keep her in place while trying to reach her fist to pry it open. Lux struggled against him making him groan with frustration and grind her harder into the wall.

Lux knew she was only hurting herself, but she felt the angry part of her take over and she pushed against him, trying to break free. This only made Neo more angry and he tackled her until he managed to get her fist in his hand, his back now pinning Lux into the wall.

Lux turned to see her mother staring at the two from the kitchen entrance. She dropped the spoon she was holding and it fell to the floor loudly. She had a look of complete shock and fear on her face.

Lux could feel the tears springing force as she was painfully trapped between the wall and her father's body. She could feel him force open her fingers, the pills now slipping out and dropping to the floor. They all fell out and hit the floor as her hand opened completely.

Lux stopped struggling and felt her father relax completely against her. His back was still turned, leaning against her, and she couldn't tell what his reaction was. He was still holding her hand in his.

Trinity stood in the hallway, still completely silent and unmoving. She was probably trying to figure out what had just happened.

Lux felt her father squeeze her hand firmly before he slowly moved off of her. She made to say something, to apologize, but her father turned around only to sink down against the opposite wall in front of her. He sat with his knees up and his head still down so that Lux couldn't see his face. His hands moved over the pills on the floor gently.

Lux was still shaking. Her body hurt and she felt bruises forming from where her father had shoved her painfully into the wall. She stayed standing, leaning against the wall for support, yearning for her father to speak. She hated not knowing if he was angry or upset or disappointed. She needed to hear his voice. She needed to be reassured that everything was still okay, that he was okay.

Trinity made a small noise from where she was standing ten feet away, and bent down to pick up the spoon. She did not speak or look at either of them, before turning back into the kitchen.

Lux hated herself. She was destroying her family, one day at a time.

Lux focused back on her father as she heard him scrape a bunch of pills off the floor and look down at them for a moment, still hiding his face. Lux jumped in shock when he violently threw the pills at the walls, causing them to bounce off the steel noisily. She swallowed and began to sob quietly, feeling even more afraid than when her father was staring her down.

"Lux… he's alive. Mode is alive too, they're alright," said Neo in a deathly quiet tone, "but that's not what this is about anymore is it?"

Lux was confused by her father's words. She began to think to herself what this was all really about. No answer came to her mind. Perhaps he was right. She hadn't been thinking about Cody so much this time. She'd only been thinking about how alone she felt, even though Cody was alive.

Lux sank down against the wall, sitting with her knees up, still staring at her father in front of her. Neo looked over at her, tears in his eyes.

"Lux," he said carefully, "tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this and I will. I just…" He trailed off, putting his head back down.

"I can't help you if you won't talk to me," he continued.

Lux felt shame fill her once again. She'd never meant for any of this to happen. She never wanted to hurt anyone, especially her father. He'd been through enough in his life. He'd fought and won a war that saved all of human kind. Still, Lux had managed to reduce him to a crying wreck of a man, slumped down on a cold steel floor. She felt disgusted with herself.

Lux knew she had to reassure him. She had to show him she was alright, she just slipped up. It was her moments of weakness, like this one, that seemed to give her the strength she needed to go on. She just needed to find a less dangerous way to relieve her stress and pain. A way that didn't hurt the ones she loved.

Lux slowly crawled over to her father and into his arms. He hugged her tightly and buried his face in her hair. She could hear him crying above her.

Neo pulled back to look at Lux, his voice scared and shaking.

"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry." He hugged her tightly again.

Lux didn't have the heart to tell him she'd need a few days to recover from the deep bruising she knew she had all over her back, so she just shook her head. He pulled back again to look her in the eyes.

"Lux," he spoke firmly and intensely, "no more. No more trying to escape and run away. No more."

Lux nodded her head.

"I honestly wasn't going to take them. I changed my mind and was going to get rid of them right when you walked in."

"Is that the truth?" he asked, his face desperate.

Lux nodded again and said, "yes, I swear it is."

Neo looked relieved instantly. His face softened as he spoke again.

"Good," said Neo, "I don't think I could stand going through that again… thinking that I'd lost you."

Lux felt the bold unfeeling person inside of her completely disappear. Lux remembered how real her life was and how trying to escape only worked when there was somewhere else to go to.

"That won't happen. I'm alright now. I'm sorry dad," said Lux more confidently.

"I believe you," he said relaxing a bit more, "… but I'm not so sure I can say the same for your mother."

He looked back down the hallway to where Trinity had been standing. Lux could hear a few clanging of pots, and wondered what exactly was going through her mothers' head this whole time.

"I'll talk to her," said Neo, standing up. He reached down and pulled up Lux, but he unfortunately grabbed her right where a huge bruise was forming. Lux winced and cried out painfully as he pulled her up. He let go immediately and looked at her concerned. Lux pulled up the side of her shirt to reveal a huge black mark across her side.

"God, I'm sorry Lux," said Neo, horrified by the bruise.

"I'll be alright," said Lux pulling her shirt back down gently.

She smiled up at her father's ashamed face, letting him know she really was alright. She tried to make a joke to lighten his mood.

"I should have known better than to run from 'the One.'"

Neo laughed. He always liked when Lux mocked his celebrated status since she was one of the only people who ever really did. He put his arm around her and they walked back to the kitchen together.

Trinity was sitting at the table, dinner already ready, when they came in. Lux felt she needed to say something, fearing her mother was as upset as when she found her in the bathtub.

"Mom, I…" started Lux, but her mother interrupted her.

"It's okay, I heard your conversation," Trinity said with a small smile, "I believe you."

Lux smiled back with relief. She sat down at the table beside her mother and took her hand gently.

"Thanks Mom," she said still smiling, "I think I'm hungry now."

I hope you liked it. Lux won't have another 'incident' again, don't worry. The worst is over. I'll try to update again soon!