A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry it took me this long to get the next chapter up. I was a little preoccupied with summerwork. Needless to say, that is done now. I have one more chapter written after this, and I plan to write one more before school starts. That way there will be updates every week for at least three weeks. This chapter is a little short because it is a continuation of the previous. As always, please read and review!
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"When the truth is,
I miss you,
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so,
And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go"
Warning Sign--Coldplay
The porch light flickered overhead as Derek sat in the white plastic lawn chair. It was an unusually dark night, but from where he was sitting he could just see the outline of the dead brush across the field. It seemed like a lifetime ago that the area had shown signs of life. Now as he sat there, Derek couldn't help but wish to go back to that time.
He remembered walking for hours with Meredith. They would trail along, talking about the most trivial things. But that was the beauty of it: just being together was enough of a reason to go on the adventure.
Addison didn't like adventures. She liked malls. She liked department stores and fancy dinners. He felt like he constantly had to try with Addison whereas he could simply be himself with Meredith. That's what made it so hard:
He was meant to be with Meredith.
Behind him, the lights inside the trailer cast a soft glow. Addison was inside preparing dinner, but Derek could care less. Every corner of his mind was consumed with thoughts of Meredith. Taking a swig from the beer in his hand, he tried to blot out the image of Scott's arm around her waist. He tried to convince himself that the smile that had erupted at the sight of her new beau didn't mean anything.
Wrapping his coat tighter around himself, Derek heaved a sigh. The silence that he had once hoped for was now deafening. He longed to feel her presence again. And the fact that Meredith wasn't there only served to make him feel more alone.
This wasn't the way things were supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to be outside, hiding from his wife, on Valentine's Day. He was supposed to be in the warmth of Meredith's embrace.
A gust of frigid air blew, and Derek blinked back tears.
So much for happily ever after.
--
"Aren't you cold?" Addison questioned from the open door.
"No."
"Okay," she replied, surprised. "Well anyway, dinner's done."
Derek continued to sit there staring up at the sky, "I'll be in later. I'm not hungry right now."
"Okay." She turned to walk back toward the kitchen, but felt the need to add, "You do know its Valentine's Day, right?"
"Jesus Christ, I guess it is. Well it's too late to do anything now, isn't it?"
Addison stepped out onto the wooden step. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but quickly blinked them back. Was she really surprised that he forgot. Lately, he was so absorbed in Meredith Grey and her God damn love life to be aware of anything else.
"It's fine. We can do something another day."
"Sounds good," he motioned toward the door. "I'll come in in a minute."
"Okay. Dinner's on the stove. I'm going to go and take a shower," Addison told him, pivoting on her heel and heading back inside.
Derek didn't even turn to acknowledge her last comment. He just sat there completely absorbed in whatever had kept him out there for the past three hours.
Part of Addison wanted to scream out in agony. No matter how hard she tried to read him, she couldn't understand what was going on in his head. When she really thought about it, Addison knew she had brought this all on herself. But he had agreed to try.
Why did he refuse to do it now?
"I'm going to bed."
Addison spun around holding her black lace bra on with her arms, "Oh. I didn't expect you to come in so soon. Don't you want something to eat?"
Derek shook his head, completely oblivious to the fact that his wife was half naked, "No. I told you, I'm not hungry. Tired- but not hungry." He threw himself down onto the bed, "Goodnight, Addison."
"Goodnight," she answered, heading into the bathroom. Shutting the door, she muttered, "Happy Valentine's Day."
--
"This is," Meredith paused, taken aback, "absolutely breathtaking."
Scott nodded coming up from behind her. He handed her a single red rose which she placed on the railing. Pulling her into his embrace, he intertwined their fingers. His breath was warm on her neck, and it sent shivers down her spine.
"Just like you," he murmured into her neck. He looked up and pecked her softly on the lips before adding, "This is my favorite place in the entire world."
Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and heaved a sigh. She really appreciated everything that he had done for her, and she could tell how important to him it was that this night was special, but just being there made memories come flooding back.
After all, it was somebody else's favorite place too.
"I really appreciate you doing all this for me," Meredith said turning around to face him. His expression was one of pure joy as he looked out at the dark waves breaking against the sides of the ferryboat.
Smiling, he cupped Meredith's face in his hands, "It is my pleasure."
"It really is beautiful, isn't it?"
He nodded.
She turned back around and gazed out at the skyline. Scott wrapped his arms around her waist once more. Pulling her close, he ran his hands up and down the length of her arms. The city in front of them was a blur of lights. Underneath them, the boat bobbed slowly up and down in the murky water. It was the most romantic thing that Meredith had experienced in her whole life. Yet as she stood there, with Scott's arms wrapped protectively around her, she couldn't help but feel as if something was missing.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," Scott whispered into her ear after a few minutes of silence.
Meredith stood there, dumbfounded. He was falling in love with her. She couldn't think. Her head felt heavy. Her mouth felt numb. Opening her mouth to say something, Meredith blinked up helplessly at him.
"I was hoping to get a response."
"Umm… of course. Yeah."
"I'm sorry. I'm moving too fast. I scared you."
Shaking her head, Meredith twisted around to face him. Leaning in, she whispered, "Its okay. It feels good to know someone loves you."
She pulled him in for a kiss, but Scott instantly inched away, "Why don't we eat now? Do you want some champagne? I bought strawberries too. It was a pain in the ass because they're out of season, but I was determined."
Meredith shrugged. She'd screwed up. That was obvious enough, "Sure."
Scott hurried off to the bench where he'd put the wicker picnic basket earlier. Heaving a sigh, Meredith turned back to the dark night and let her mind wander to Derek. She broke the barrier, and soon after the tears began to come.
She wondered what Addison and Derek were doing for Valentine's Day. She wondered if they were still together what they would be doing. Would they be on the ferryboat like she was now? Or would they be in the solace of Meredith's room, refusing to leave the entire night?
Who was she kidding? There was no hope for them. And Scott loved her. Surely, she could learn to love him.
Picking up the rose, Meredith fingered the crimson petals. They were so delicate and soft. Running her fingers along the stem, she was pricked by the thorns. Examining the flower more closely, Meredith could tell it was slowly dying in the frigid air. Leaning over the side, Meredith threw the rose into the dark abyss.
What was the use in trying?
--
So Derek's really trying to save his marriage less and less. He is slowly realizing that he wants to be with Meredith, and it kills him that he passed up the chance. Addison is trying as hard as ever to save their marriage realizing that the end it near. It is all a matter of time before their relationship goes up in flames.
As for Meredith, she enjoys being with Scott, but he's no Derek. And being as afraid of commitment as she is, when Scott said I love you, she panicked. Could this mean the worse for our blossoming couple? Only time will tell.
Thank you again for reading, and please review.
Franny XX