Finding Hope in Rainbows
Chapter 14
The next morning, Regina walked into the dinning room to find it empty. She made her way into the kitchen, confusion painting her face. Breakfast was always served promptly at seven. At one minute till, she expected to see Emma sitting at the head of the table talking to David. She turned the corner to see David and Mary-Margaret sitting at the breakfast bar. "Where is Emma?"
Mary-Margaret turned and eyed Regina suspiciously. "Why?"
"What? Why are you acting weird?" Regina turned to David who was giving her a friendly smile. "Is she sick? She is always here before me."
David chuckled. "No, Emma doesn't get sick. No, she went to check on all of her former patients. She checks on them once a year. I believe she hasn't heard from one in a few weeks, so she is going to check his progress and she will be back in a few days."
"She didn't say anything about it to me." Regina mumbled.
"She doesn't have to." Mary-Margaret bit back. David gave a concerned look to his wife. "I mean, she has obligations. It was a last minute trip."
"Well, as long as she is ok." Regina stated awkwardly. She could feel the tension in the room and had no idea why it was present.
"She wants things to continue just as if she was here. So you will work with me on the chores and M&M will do your therapy."
"Thank you David." Regina definitely did not want Mary-Margaret as her therapist, but could find no reason to be difficult. No doubt, if she was to give them trouble, Emma would be told immediately. "When do you think she will be back?"
Mary-Margaret rolled her eyes at the question. David gave her a stern look before turning back to Regina. "It usually takes about a week, but she just saw them about a month before you arrived, so it should just be a few days."
Regina just nodded and made her way to the counter to get some breakfast.
Three days later and Regina had not seen or heard from Emma. The house was boring without the blonde to make it fun. Regina stayed in her room unless she was doing chores or in therapy. For the first time since arriving at the house she felt lonely. In these times her mind went back to the drugs. She would think about how she always had friends when she was high. They may not have been true friends, but she was never this lonely. At least she never remembered being this lonely.
Mary-Margaret had been distant and slightly aggressive with her during therapies. In her previous weeks, the other woman was almost annoyingly clingy, but something had changed. Regina was unsure of what had occurred, but it made it difficult for her to relax. She was on edge and in the past, she would secure drugs. Usually prescription pills, but occasionally cocaine. She would feel better being in a different world. Under the influence, she never had to deal with her problems. She felt in control and free from others when she was high.
Regina stood and paced in her room before dinner. She needed out. She felt trapped and uncared for. As she walked back and forth, she clinched her fist fighting the urge to trash the room. She felt the hurt and loneliness morph into anger. "Ahhhhh." The woman screamed. She grasped her hair and hoped the feelings would pass.
David heard the scream as he was reading the paper. He glanced up at M&M and saw the woman shrug her shoulders with indifference as she made dinner. He hopped up and went to the guests' room.
"Regina?" He stated as he knocked on the door. He waited a few moments before slightly cracking it open. He was met with a grown, frail woman sitting on the floor grasping her hair and crying. "Regina, what's wrong?"
"Where is Emma?" The woman quietly asked in between sniffles. "I need Emma."
"I do not know right now. If you give me a few moments, I will give her a call."
"Please do not tell her I am like this. Please!"
"Regina, what is going on?" David's concern was evident in his tone. He sat next to the brunette on the floor. He wanted to wrap an arm around the woman's shoulder, but did not know how it would be taken in her current state.
"I am just a little down. Emma knows just what say. I know she would say something to make me feel better."
"She is good at that. I can say something, it isn't as sweet as Emma's, but I will be honest." At Regina's nod, the man continued. "You suck at chopping wood, and you are a little too prissy to make it living in the woods with us,"
"I thought this was supposed to help." Regina deadpanned.
"Shhh. It is. But, you have improved so much since you have arrived. You look healthier, you are stronger, and you seem to be getting your shit together. We all get depressed; it's just your previous way of handling that has been taken away. It will take time for you to find a productive outlet. I know you can." David smiled a charming smile at the broken woman. Regina just nodded. "Alright, I will give Emma a call and let you know any information I get."
David had nothing to report and that night Regina wished she had never come to the house. The next day was exactly the same and Regina started sitting silently during her sessions with Mary-Margaret. The two women were like gasoline and fire. The sessions turned into Mary-Margaret pressuring Regina to talk, and Regina refusing. They would do this for over an hour every day. Regina's stable rights were taken away for being uncooperative in therapy. So she spent all of her time in her room. She stopped attending meals and would pace all night long. Her desire to get her hands on any illegal substance was becoming overwhelming. She would bite her lip, dig her fingernails into her palms, and even pull her hair to get her mind off thoughts of drugs. These feelings were worse than the withdraws. She would cry until her body wore itself out, then fall asleep for a short period of time until she would do it all again the next day.
Eight days after Emma's departure, Regina woke to a knocking on her door. "Go away David. I do not want breakfast." Regina grumpily replied.
The door opened to a woman with blonde, wild hair. "Well, you should eat. You look like you haven't eaten in days."
"Emma." Regina stated the name with reverence. Then her voice went cold. "Where have you been?" Regina gave the woman a hard stare.
"I had to check on a past client."
"For eight days? Really?"
"Yes. Regina I have obligations to others as well. When you are out of here, you will appreciate that you have someone who will come at anytime to help you. Now, let's talk about you. I am getting negative information from M&M and David."
"I don't want to talk about it with you. Emma, I felt abandoned when you were just gone. Why didn't you just tell me you were leaving?" The brunette sounded wounded and vulnerable.
Emma rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry. It was a last minute thing. Now, tell me what happened. David said you wouldn't attend meals but you were helpful during chores. M&M says you were uncooperative during sessions and stayed in your room the rest of the time. What happened?" The concern was evident, but Regina was angry.
"I will not talk about it." She clenched her jaw and turned her head away from the blonde.
Emma let out a deep sigh. "Fine, but now that I am back, you will attend meals and we will have a nice long session." She stated with authority.
Breakfast was a silent affair. Mary-Margaret looked distrustfully between Regina and Emma. Emma seemed calm, but could sense the tension in the air. David ate as quickly as he could. And Regina kept her eyes on her plate and pushed the food around with her fork.
"Alright. Is anyone going to tell me what is going on? I leave for eight days, and everyone is acting strange." No one responded and David just shoved more food in his mouth. "M&M?" The pixie haired brunette just shook her head. "Regina?" Emma looked at the woman, hoping for an answer. She did not even look up to Emma, and just shrug her shoulders. "Fine. David, can you prepare a couple of horses? Regina and I have a tree to cut down and bring it back to the house."
David quickly jumped up, glad to be getting out of the awkward situation. "Wait? You are letting her go outside after her behavior?"
"Yes, Mary-Margaret. I need to find out what has happened in the last week, and Regina and I have a project that needs to be developed like her sobriety." Emma responded sternly.
"I can tell you exactly what happened."
"Tonight. Today, I will hear what Regina has to say and we will get a few things done in the process." Emma stood and turned to Regina. "Go get some work clothes on. We will need to leave shortly." Regina stood and walked away never making eye contact.
"So are you going to tell me anything?" Emma asked about an hour into the ride. When she was met with silence, she tried another tactic. "Alright then, what kind of tree would you like? What do you want our bench to look like?"
"I was thinking oak."
"Wow. She speaks." Emma joked. "Ok. What else were you thinking?"
Regina rolled her eyes at the attempted joke. "I thought we could use oak and after we build it maybe carving FHIR on the backrest."
Emma looked at the woman. "That is very thoughtful. I also have a friend who is an artist. Maybe she could also put a rainbow on the back since that is what everyone will see when they reach the top."
Regina felt angry at the thought. "I thought this was our project Emma. Now you want your 'friend' to have a hand in it?"
"What? No, I mean, yes. I just meant she can be of assistance."
Regina was reeling at the thought of another woman assisting Emma with anything. "Fine. I am tired of riding." And with that, the woman kicked her horse into motion and took off.
Emma was stunned for a few seconds before she took off after the woman. At the top of the hill, she found Regina tying her horse to the post. "You shouldn't run off like that. You could have been hurt."
"Already more than I am?"
"Talk to me Regina. I am here for you."
"Really? Because you weren't the last week. I couldn't even get a hold of you."
Emma grabbed the ax off the saddle. She wanted to cut down the tree the hard way. "I was still there for you, just a little distant. I will always be available for you." She spoke as she found the tree. "This is a nice big oak. This would make a perfect tree." At Regina's nod, Emma made five hard swings about two feet off the ground. "Alright. Here is what we are going to do. I am going to give you the ax, and you get to swing as much as you want, but you have to describe your feelings on every swing."
"Fine." Regina responded. She was anxious to get done and go back to her room. She grabbed the ax and Emma stepped back a few feet. Regina picked up the ax and hoisted it to her shoulder. "Lonely." She swung. "Unaccepted." She swung again. "Bullied." Another swing. This continued for about ten swings. The brunette was huffing from the exertion. As she panted she whispered "fear."
"Why are you afraid? You are doing great."
"Emma," The brunette actually looked into the sea green eyes. "You left for eight days. Eight days and I fell apart. Mary-Margaret treated me like shit. David felt pity for me. And I had no one to go to. You deserted me. You left me with those two idiots and I fell apart." The brunette turned a finger to the blonde. "You," she emphasized with her finger. "You are my biggest fear because you are feeding me hope."
"Regina, hope is what you need."
"NO." She shouted. The anger was bubbling inside her. It was all of her emotions together, feeding on her insecurities. It was driving her to the edge.
"Regina, you will be ok. I know you will. You just have to trust me. Stop being stubborn and l can help you."
"Shut up Emma. You know nothing."
"Knock it off woman." Emma responded. Before she had time to realize what was happening, Regina had lifted the ax into the air, and swung it down towards Emma. The look in the brunette's eye scared Emma. The anger radiated off Regina and the ax began its descent towards Emma. Her natural reaction was to put her left arm up to protect her body from the ax.
The sound of a bone snapping and a woman screaming was the only sound heard in the woods.