Chapter 14 – Break the lines
Gabrielle was exhausted. Every muscle in her body was throbbing painfully. She had just used hours of vile sparring and tough strength exercises. Her body was still weak but she had refused to stop training before her body was totally out of energy. She watched down for the mountain and saw fields and forests far above her. So much had happened in the last few months. By now it was clear that Chin was the place she loved. The landscape she saw in front of her was stunning because she was standing above everything. She let her mind to fly above the rivers and villages which were somewhere down there. Inside her mind she was able to imagine what it felt to be a god and stand watching down from mount Olympus.
Slowly she pulled her mind back to her body and stepped back from the cliff. She was tired and she wanted to go to bath. There was amazing hot spring just behind the house which was one the reasons why Pong Ni had built his hut here in a place where he was able to be alone. Gabrielle loved to go to swim there after a tough workout. She went to swim every day and every time it was just as lovely as it had been when she had first time swum there.
Gabrielle walked slowly back to the hut to grab some clean clothes. She washed her bare toes before she went in. She hadn't used shoes after she left from Greece. It was just meaningless, okay first days without shoes on the rocky surface had been hard but she had used to that by now. Her live was much simpler now; there was a tight routine she followed every day. Her days were filled with physical training, language training and thinking. She liked to meditate. It was something she had never done in her life but now when master Ni had taught her to do so she couldn't imagine her life without it.
Pong Ni was writing something when Gabrielle entered to the room. "How was your training?" Pong Ni asked in Chinese. "What? I didn't understand." Gabrielle had learnt little bit Chinese but those words were mystery for her. "I asked how was your training today." This time in he said it in Greek. "Ah, it was okay but I'm very sweaty and dirty. I'm going to wash myself." She knew that Pong Ni was very strict when it came to cleanliness. "Yes please do that", he said, again in Chinese. "Yes master." Gabrielle was proud when she understood was the old man said and she was able to answer to him with same language. She grabbed her other outfit and went back to outside. She had only two sets of clothes so she had to wash them every day.
She walked slowly to the spring. Sun was still up but not for long anymore. If she wanted to bath and wash in a light she had to be fast. When sun goes down you can't see anything. Unlike in Greece here the darkness came fast and you can't literally see anything if you don't have a light source. She let her mind to travel again. She thought about her life her in China. It was so much different compared to one she had had in Greece. She knew that one day she had to return to Greece but at the moment she hoped that day will never come but idea of return was what her hearth told to her every day. Not just because of revenge but because of her friends and her family. She knew that her parents won't take it easy when they hear that Gabrielle had disappeared. Disappeared is not the right word. Unlike she, everybody else in Greece thought that she has died. At least that was what Gabrielle hoped. She wanted to write a letter for her family in Potedia and tell them that she was okay but she knew in her hearth that it was too risky. If Xena would hear that she was alive she would come and finish the job. As much as it hurt she couldn't sent that letter for anybody in Greece. She had to be dead for her own safety.
Gabrielle woke up from her thoughts when something hit hard on her occipital. She felt down and tasted the dirt which went to her mouth. She felt her head spinning fast. She gathered herself and stood up. This was just not the right moment for Pong Ni to test her skills. She was not in that mood right now. She was able to see the shade of her opponent on her foot. Slowly she turned around and pulled her sword out from the scabbard. No-one, not even Pong Ni would ever hit her back without consequences. She couldn't stop her mouth. She was tired and dirty. It was not the right time for fight only thing she wanted was bath and was what she was going to get. "You made big mistake when you hit me master. You know I bit back and you won't like that!"
Gabrielle felt her anger and hate explode inside her when she saw the face of her opponent. It was not Pong Ni. She recognized the long black hair and the light blue eyes. "Hah, you think you can even touch me? You are pathetic!" Gabrielle felt the adrenaline rush into her body. She was not exhausted anymore. She was surprised and anger. She was not ready to fight this battle yet but she was not going to give up without a fight. "How can you be here?" Rage was all over her voice. "It doesn't matter Gabrielle, I came here to finish my job and that is what I'm going to do!"
Gabrielle raised her sword to block the strong strike. It took all of her skills just to block every attack Xena made. She was much more skillful fighter than Gabrielle who had trained with a sword only a couple of months. Her body was also still weak because their last meeting. With a pure force of will she was able to hold her enemy back but she got no change of attack herself because of Xena's very skillful defense. The only question in Gabrielle's mind was 'How can she be here?' After a few minutes of crazy blocking Gabrielle felt the exhausted which came back to her body. Her movements became slower and quite fast she felt her enemy's sword touch her shoulder. She felt the warm blood which squirted out from my shoulder. It hurt, of course, but I didn't care. Only thing in my mind was revenge. This was my change. If I die, I die with honor.
I tried my best to block and neutralize her attacks but it was too difficult. I felt the rocks under my back when I fell to the ground. She smirked for me when she raised her sword. I panicked. This was not happening. I felt the rocks under my back. I thought that was it and then I realized a way to get up. I grabbed some dirt and threw it to her face. She lost her grab and immediately I was back in action. I knew I had no much energy left so I attacked very forcefully. I was able to harm her arm with my sword before I found myself again from the ground. This time she was wiser. I felt her sword on my neck before I was able to any action to get up. She kicked my side so I faced her.
She looked me with disgust. "Oh I see you have learnt something. I'm sorry to tell you that whatever you do I will always beat so why to resist? But whatever, you are not going to see the next dawn. Have any last words?" I was able to form disgust to my face. "I hate you!" She smiled. "Oh I hate you too." She raised her sword and the last thing Gabrielle saw what the sharp edge approaching her face fast. The world slowed around her. This was it. This was the moment of revenge and she had failed it.
-.-
Gabrielle's eyes snapped open. Thank gods it was only a nightmare, the nightmare, the same nightmare. First time Gabrielle had seen it when she had been in the mountain hut for a few days. After that it had repeated itself evenly for three months now. Three long and quite painful months. Her life has changed significantly; most of her wounds are gone now. Her both arms are completely functional, ribs are back in their own positions and legs are almost fixed. She had taken her first steps just few days ago. It was hard; she had to learn to walk again. By now she has been able to take a few shaky steps with a support. All of her muscles were deteriorated badly when she had laid down months. Her body looked gaunt but she was sure that with a little work out her body would look better in few weeks. Her only enemy at the moment was herself. She had to get up and train her body even it would hurt and it would be hard.
She thought about the dream, the nightmare as she called it. It was always the same dream. She was there, her body was fixed and she had trained very much with weapons and so on. She was going to bath when Xena came and beat her. Every time when she was going to die she woke up. Gabrielle hated the vision but at the same time she loved it. She hated the part when she failed but she loved the part when she was fighting. She was not ready in there but she had advanced. She was faster and more skillful with sword. She had been able to defense herself against Xena which was very impressive. There was only one part she scared; is it only a dream or is it a vision from the future. If it's from the future then she was in a big trouble. Xena had come but younger woman hadn't been able to overcome her. She was doomed if that was the future. That vision gave Gabrielle power to continue her walking exercises every moment she was awake. She had to learn quickly to defense herself so the end of the dream would not ever happen.
Gabrielle raised her upper body and looked out from the window. It was already bright. Her bed was in the basement. There was a huge basement underneath the house which was more than two times bigger than the room above it. That was Gabrielle's kingdom at the moment. She had been outside a few times but it was always a huge battle to get her body upstairs and then outside. Pong Ni was old and despite of the fact that he was one of the most skillful persons in the world he was not so strong anymore. Because Gabrielle was not able to walk by herself Pong Ni had to carry her. It looked more like a dragging and, of course Gabrielle didn't admit it, it hurt. So she had made her choice to stay downstairs as long as her legs were not able to carry her weight.
A lot had happened in these months she had stayed with Pong Ni. She had to stay in the bed so Pong Ni was very much with her keeping her company. He had taught Gabrielle a little bit of his language. She was willing to learn more and because they had nothing else to do Pong Ni gave her lesson every day. He also told her a lot of old Chin's legends and stories which Gabrielle loved. When they had removed bandages from her arms she had started to write down things like her thoughts, memories and stories which she had created in her mind while she hadn't been able to do anything else.
Days were all quite similar and very quickly she noticed that her life had changed to very simpler way. She didn't have to stress about thing like annoying bandits, revolting emperors or greedy warlords. She was able to focus just for herself and that felt better than she had ever thought it would. She missed her family and some of her friends too but she knew they were all okay, at least she hoped so. Gabrielle also knew that they would think her dead so they couldn't miss her in a way they would if they knew she is alive. Like she had said many times before, it was only for her best to pretend to be dead.
"Good morning Xiàjiàng, it's good to see you are awake this early!" Gabrielle hadn't realized Pong Ni who was standing at the door. "Good morning master Ni." She moved her legs a bit so he was able to set the tray, which he was carrying, to Gabrielle's lap. "I heard you screaming. Are you okay?" Gabrielle was not sure when she had screamed. Maybe it had happened when she had died in her dream. "It was the nightmare again. Nothing serious." Pong Ni was quiet for a while. He knew about the nightmares. Gabrielle saw it almost every night. She was not willing to talk about it but Pong Ni had figured out that Xena was somehow involved. She had screamed her name few times among with 'I hate you!' and other sentence like that. "You really should tell me about it. I know you are in pain. Maybe talking would help you." Gabrielle closed her eyes. "It is not that important. Only a stupid dream I hate, nothing you to worry about." It was a lie but she was not in that mood.
"I know you want to show me that you are strong but sharing problems and bad dreams are not a mark of weakness. If you ask from me I say it's a mark of inner strength when you can talk about thing you don't want to talk." Gabrielle stared the ceiling. Pong Ni was right. Of course she knew it. She had used that same argument millions of times before. She was just not it that mood. "I've told you a lot master Ni. You know about the events what has happened for me in these past months. You know about my first kill, about my daughter, about my so called dead and the pain I have to suffer because of this all. I know it is easy for you to process with it but you have no idea how I feel! I know I should tell you about my thoughts but I am not strong enough! I've accepted that I see myself dying every time I close my eyes! There's nothing you can help me with!"
It was too much; Gabrielle noticed it right after she had split the words. She didn't know where the surge of anger had come. Pong Ni met only good for her good and he had helped her so much. It was not fair to yell at him but sometimes it was the only way to clear her head. "I'm sorry master Ni I didn't met to yell at you. It's just… I don't know, too much." Pong Ni was quiet for a while. He knew what Gabrielle was processing in her mind. It was hard for anyone and the only medicine was time. Talking would help, but he couldn't push her to do it. "I'm sorry Gabrielle. I know I shouldn't push you to do anything you are not ready to do. I can just see your pain and it hurts my soul when I see you suffering. I'm sorry I don't want to hurt you not physically nor mentally."
"I don't want to hurt you. I didn't realize you suffer from my pain. I'm just in a bad mood. We can talk maybe tomorrow but not today. Let me clear my head first, please?" Gabrielle said quietly after a while. "Of course. The only medicine is time and that is what I can give for you as much as you need. I made my promise to T'ing Mai. I promised to heal you and that means both your body and your soul." Gabrielle took a bite from her breakfast. She had almost forgotten it but her stomach gave her a sign.
"So, how about that walking practice. I think I can do it better today. I made some muscle training last night and it feels pretty good now. I think I can take at least a few steps more than yesterday." She said after she finished her meal. "Ah, well. That sounds very good my young patient."
-.-
"Okay now, I think today you can try something else now." Pong Ni told to Gabrielle. "What you mean something different?" Old master smiled. "Well, now when your walking looks pretty much like it should, I think you can change to some more difficult exercises." He said while he gave Gabrielle her usual breakfast. "Well, it's been a week since I took my first step so what have you planned me for today?" She had learned to know Pong Ni in these months and when he said 'You can try' he met 'today you are going to do'.
"I made you an easy routine mixed with various different martial arts. It will help your muscles to grow. I'm telling you it won't be easy at the beginning. Your body has lost most of its muscle and it won't be easy to get them back. This first routine which we train today is not very difficult. When you master it we will move to a bit more difficult one. That won't happen today but it's good to know beforehand." Gabrielle was quiet for a while. She knew her body needed exercises, she had been able to train her upper body for weeks but her lower body had been useless for months. In the previous days those few steps she had been able to take had drained all of her energy. She was not sure if she was ready to move on. "Well I can try but I warn you if you put me to do back flips I kill you." Gabrielle gave him the look that she was serious. "You want to do back flips. Well if you insist I can put you do those but I was thinking something easier at the beginning." He laughed. "Hmm, first of all, finish your breakfast and dress yourself. You are not going to train with me in your nightclothes. Then we will begin."
Pong Ni left from the room and left Gabrielle to dress up. He was sure that it was time begin the next step in Gabrielle's rehabilitation. They had talked hours yesterday. Gabrielle had told him more about her feeling and desires. He knew now that there was a lot hate behind her face. Her soul had damaged more than Pong Ni had thought. He knew that it would be very difficult to get rid of all that hate she was carrying. It was up to Gabrielle either she would forgive to her friend or destroy the last piece of their friendship by revenging. He also knew that she missed her family. She had both of her parents alive as well as her sister and a large group of friends and her amazon tribe. It had been a shock for Pong Ni that this young girl, not even twenty seasons old, was a queen of the Greek amazons.
He had suggested that she would write letters to her friends and family, to tell them that she is alive and there is no reason to sorrow. She had said not. She was affair that Xena would also hear that and she would come to Chin to finish her job with Gabrielle. She had said that if she would write to her friends her nightmare would happen. She was right, Pong Ni knew it, but he hated the feeling when he knew someone was sad. In this case not only Gabrielle but her friends and family as well. He knew that Gabrielle had to return back to Greece in time. Her soul wanted to go back to its home. It wouldn't maybe happen soon but in time.
At the beginning when he had first time talked to T'ing Mai about this girl he had brought with him he had promised to heal her and then discard from his home but now he wanted, first time in years, that Gabrielle would stay with him as long as she wanted. He liked the girl a lot. She was smart and she learned fast. In three months she had learned to talk a little bit Chinese. She wanted to learn more every day and that was something Pong Ni taught her willingly. She was also curious and her thoughts were much like his owns. He liked to spend time with her and teach her.
The idea of apprentice had popped to his mind only few days ago. He was old and he knew he wouldn't live much longer anymore. He had also had two previous students but they both had died. If he wanted to share his knowledge to the world this was the change. He knew Gabrielle would be able to learn almost everything. She already had the most valuable part which was her hearth. Underneath the levels which were now poisoned her hearth was pure gold. Her way to watch and study the world was unique; at least it was rare if it was not unique.
He had decided that the best way to get Gabrielle's body strength back was though the routines of various martial arts. It gave her strength back and in addition her flexibility would improve quite much. It would be hard Pong Ni knew it. He knew many who had similar wounds like Gabrielle but they hadn't been determined enough to get their bodies back to its normal shape. If Gabrielle was as determined as he thought she would probably go through this next stage which would be pure hell to her. If she does it, she would be stronger than ever before.
-.-
"So, shall we begin?" Pong Ni asked when she returned to the room of Gabrielle. She was dressed to a simple white top and grey pants which T'ing Mai had gave for her. She had tied her hair up behind her back and washed her face. In the house of Pong Ni it was important to be clean. Because Gabrielle hadn't been able to go to wash herself to the spring next to the house she had to use a bowl and a sponge. "Yes I think I'm ready to begin. My legs are still quite shaky but I think I can do some easy exercises. I just hope we could focus to my upper body at the beginning because I'm not sure about my legs." She took a few shaky steps just to show master Ni that her legs were weak.
"Yes and do you know why we are going to do these routines? I know you know. It's because we need to strengthen your muscles. Not just your upper body but your lower as well." Gabrielle gave him a narrow smile. "I know. I'm just not sure if I can do it." She shook her body to get warmed up. "Okay, show me what you prepared for me."
-.-
"Please, no more, that was enough for today." Gabrielle begged after a tough routine. It had been her first exercise and not so difficult but still every muscle on her body was aching badly. "Enough? That was only the warm out young lady. Now we are going to move to the real exercise." Gabrielle's eyes widen. "That was only the... beginning? You got to be kidding me that was not a warm up that was a torture. If you are going to push me any further my body is going to collapse." She was lying on the floor. Her entire body was sweaty and her heart was beating fast. "Hmm, maybe you are not strong enough to complete these exercises. I thought you are strong but maybe you are not that strong. Shame, I waited so much from you Gabrielle. I thought you would use that hate inside you as a fuel to get healed up but I guess I was wrong. You are not able to channel your strength out from your body. Well, if you really are as tired as you show me we can end this training now and continue tomorrow. Please clean yourself before lunch."
Gabrielle jumped up from the floor. She ignored her arching muscles. "Wait master Ni. I am not weak! Don't ever say that to me again okay? Show me the next move, I can do it. I can finish your exercises. I am not a loser!" Pong Ni smiled before he turned to face her young student. No matter who was trying to give up, he always knew the right words to get them up from the floor. "Great job Gabrielle. That is the fire you need if you are going to train with me. This won't be easy for you; you will learn that sooner or later." He turned to face her and continued. "The first part of you healing was easy for you. All you had to do was lying still and eat painkillers. Now you have to start doing something by yourself. I don't want to hear the words 'I can't do it' or 'please no more' anymore, is that clear? When you are training with me you are going to push your body above your limits. That is the only way to get better. If you are not ready to do that you won't ever be able to do thing you used to do. Your body won't ever be the same without your own will. I can't do it for you, only you can do it."
Gabrielle stared at him. The shock was bubbling in her eyes. It had been one of the longest sentences she had heard from master Ni. It was also full of facts. If she wanted to get her life back she had to push her body away from its comfort zone. She had to ignore the pain and the lassitude. It was the only way to success. "I'm sorry I failed in your eyes master Ni. I won't do that again. I ready to continue this training. I don't care how hard it will be or how tired I will be after it. I just want to complete it." She took a gulp from her water flask. "Very well, take the starting position I taught for you earlier. This is the second part of your daily exercise. Remember every move closely, I won't be showing them for you every day. I have to learn them so you can train even if I'm not here watching you."
-.-
It was the late evening. The day had been long for both Gabrielle and Pong Ni. After the failure Gabrielle had focused better than ever and completed her routine although her body was totally burned out from its power. She was relieved that she had been able to go through the hell and complete the task Pong Ni had given her. She was happy but tired. At the lunch she hadn't been able to hold on her chopsticks, and because Pong Ni didn't let her to use her fingers to eat her rice, it had taken longer than usually to finish the meal. She had been able to rest a while after the lunch before they had begun her second lesson which was about the language and the customs of china. Before Gabrielle had even noticed it was time to eat the supper.
This time she was able to hold on her chopsticks because her hands weren't shaking because of fatigue. She was eating rice again with some tasty sauce and chicken. She had used to eat rice but sometimes she missed potatoes and stakes. She also missed forks and knives because she was not so good with chopsticks. At the beginning it had took hours to complete a meal. Pong Ni didn't let her to use her finger while she was eating. He said if she wanted to eat using her fingers she was not welcome to the table. If she wanted to eat like a dog she had to eat from the floor. After a few long evening she had learned to use sticks a little bit so she was able to finish her meals. In time she had learned to use them better and better but still sometimes she missed the fork.
After a supper Gabrielle had almost fainted when Pong Ni had told to her that it was time for the second physical exercise routine. It was not as long and difficult as the first one had been. It was still hard for Gabrielle whose body was not totally coped from the morning routine but with a self-confidence and will-power she was able to complete the routine. She was so glad that she had been able to go through a difficult work out twice at the same day. She rewarded herself by doing a one more huge exercise. She took the steps and walked to outside the house first time after her arrival. It was the first time she was truly able to see the place she was living in.
Like she remembered, the house was made of some dark wood. There was also a little garden full of different kind of herbs and vegetables. She had no strength to walk further so she sat down to the bench in front of the house. She watched the sun which was almost gone to the horizon. She smelt the mountain air and she felt the wind with touched lightly her skin. It was a peaceful evening middle of the mountains deep inside the countryside of the kingdom of Chin.
End of part 14