(A)BORT, (R)ETRY, (F)AIL?

PART ONE: RECONFIGURATION

A/N: Ouch…. I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted something to this fic. Over 6 months! Unfortunately, my situation only went from bad to worse than what it was before, Since that post we've moved into this lovely house that's literally falling apart at the seams (thank god we're renting!). Things will probably continue to be spotty until we can get out of this place in early March.

Thank you everyone who's reviewed this, it's appreciated, I read every one, and that's actually what got me to come here and post the next chapter. So again, thank you! Keep them coming, I like to see what people think of my works.

~Gimp

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." -Stephen Covey

Chapter Fourteen – Reflection

Rock stirred idly, cracking his eyes open and glaring at the bright sun, casting its light over his bed. Outside, birds twittered cheerily, welcoming the morning and preventing him from getting any real sleep. He reached over slowly, with no real coordination, and grabbed the cord for his blinds, dropping them down over the morning scene. He rolled back over and promptly burrowed his head under his pillow.

His eyes ached, and his body felt heavy and useless. Both were definite signs that he had fallen asleep crying again, and that it wasn't over yet. He sighed, trying to rest, an quickly realized that he wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep. He was exhausted, thoughts came agonizingly slow, yet he couldn't sleep. He sat up reluctantly, leaning back on his hand, and ran its mate through his hair slowly, casting a glance to the empty space next to him.

Forte's side of the bed was very much the way it had been since the night of the incident. The blanket on his side was still tucked into the mattress, pillow untouched. Rock realized the left side of the bed had been made for three days straight now, and suddenly his eyes flooded with tears again.

He bit them back, teeth pressing firmly on his lower lip, and he reached over slowly, grabbing the pillow and pulling it to his chest. He pressed his face into it lightly, dampening the pillowcase and breathing in Forte's rapidly fading scent idly. That only made it worse, and he yelled into it, frustrated and crying bitterly.

The thought that what had happened three nights ago might be irreversible became real to him for the first time, and he felt his breath rush out, stomach feeling full of heavy lead. How could it be over so swiftly and mercilessly? It was so unfair, to finally get close, really close to Forte; to finally start to understand him, only to have everything torn away at the most important, pivotal moment.

He got out of bed slowly, wondering vaguely what he was going to say to Forte when he saw him. The thought strengthened the feeling of dread, and he pushed it aside for the time being. Until he came up with the right words to say to the younger boy, it might be best to just avoid him altogether. The thought of saying the wrong thing again – of saying something that hurt him again… he didn't think he could go through that twice.

He slipped into the shower quietly, letting the hot water run over him and soothe him, and allowed himself to drift away from the present and back to the previous night. He closed his eyes, drawing then releasing a deep, slow breath, and found it wasn't very difficult at all to return to that moment.

His first major mistake had been asking Forte if he was sure about what Wily had done to him. He couldn't believe he'd let that escape his lips – it wasn't as though he could have accidentally mistook something the old man said or did for that. Asking Forte if he was certain Wily had touched him had essentially been a slap in the face, and a hard one at that. It was almost as bad as calling him a liar.

Thinking back on the face Forte had made when Rock had asked him that was even more painful. Something in Forte broke the instant he asked him that question. After that look, he had seconds to pre-empt the melt down before it occurred.

He was certain that Forte was still amidst that breakdown even now, as he stood here in the shower, water running down his back in thick rivulets. The thought of Forte suffering like that broke Rock's heart, and he couldn't stand the fact that it was something he couldn't protect the younger boy from.

Still, he couldn't help it. The disgust he felt wasn't directed toward Forte himself – it had been a long time since he'd felt any real disgust or even anger toward the Wily bot. The revulsion he felt was aimed completely at his creator. Dr. Wily was an awful person, and he had seriously hurt someone very important to him.

The thought of Forte suffering like that broke Rock's heart the same way that conversation had broken the younger robot's mind. Still, he couldn't help it. The disgust he felt wasn't directed toward Forte himself – it had been a long time since he'd felt any real disgust or even anger toward the Wily bot. The revulsion he felt was aimed completely at his creator. Dr. Wily was an awful person, and he had seriously hurt someone very important to him.

He pictured himself telling Forte that, saw a quick, painless solution to the problem, and then realized that it wouldn't happen that way. When he went to tell Forte about it, he would probably just clam up again, or say the wrong thing altogether, and there would be no second chances for him.

He felt so helpless, like his hands were tied, and he hated it. He wished he had just held everything in when Forte had finally told him what happened. IF he had just kept his mouth shut until he'd had the chance to recover from the shock of what had happened to Forte, he would never have ended up in this situation.

Opening his mouth without thinking it through first and then trying to cover it up had probably been an even worse mistake. Forte probably thought he was lying to him now. He reached out, turning the shower off, and sighed faintly. That hadn't been the ultimate mistake, as bad an idea as his comment had been. The biggest mistake he'd made that night had been made right at the end.

The worst thing he had done had been letting Forte go to bed without fixing things right then. At that point, the shock had been greater than the anger, and he could have stopped the situation before it ever snowballed into what it was now. He wasn't stupid, he knew things were going to be a lot worse now.

He towelled off slowly, thinking the situation over as he did so, then dropped it into the laundry basket haphazardly, leaning against the door frame and staring at his bed. Suddenly he was just so drained, just so tired, that he wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers. He thought it over quietly, staring at the neatly made left side of the bed, then walked over to it slowly, running his hand over the coverlet idly. Then he lay down carefully, leaving the cover the way it was and closed his eyes.

He didn't sleep.

Rock was seated on the couch quietly, playing an old fighting game, when Blues strolled into the room and sat next to him. "Hey. Uh… where's Forte?" He grabbed the other controller and hit start, to play a few rounds with his younger brother. Rock had seemed lonely lately, suddenly without Forte's company, and was brooding a lot, something unusual for him.

Rock selected his character, and the round began. "Dunno. Around." He mumbled, without looking over at him. There was a silence while Blues waited for him to continue, but he didn't contribute anything else to the conversation, h wasn't feeling very talkative.

Blues raised a brow at that. "What do you mean, you don't know? I thought you two were hanging around now." He mashed buttons, only half paying attention to the game now. "I haven't seen him in awhile, come to think of it."

Rock shrugged a little. "We were. We stopped." He stared hard at the screen, as if focusing, but he didn't seem much more into it than Blues.

"You stopped? Just like that?" He frowned a little, that was the most un-Rock comment he had ever heard come out of the younger boy's mouth, especially when referring to Forte. Rock had always had trouble letting things go, and he had been pursuing Forte's friendship rather diligently for a long time now, ever since the Wily boy and him had met, to be precise. It was very unlike him, and he couldn't help feeling nervous. "Did something happen?"

Rock shrugged a little, then hit the pause button. "Sort of. It's private." He bit his lip, unsure of how much of what had happened was okay to tell Blues. "He told me something, and I didn't know what to do." That was the truth of it. He hadn't known what to do then, and he didn't know what to do now. "I can't tell you what it was about."

But Blues was already getting up. "You don't have to. It's between you and him."

Rock watched him get up, torn between telling his brother what happened and getting some sound advice, or saying nothing and respecting Forte's privacy. "I didn't know what to say." He said finally. "I didn't know, so I didn't say anything, and I hurt his feelings." The tears came, and he wiped at them with the heel of his hand. "He trusted me enough to tell me, and I just… I just stared at him!"

Blues stood there a moment, looking reflective. "If I were you, I'd talk to him again, and soon. He'll leave eventually, if he thinks you don't want him around. Besides, you finally made friends with him, do you really want to give that up?"

Rock shook his head slightly. "I… I want to apologize, but I don't know how. I don't know what to say. What if I try to talk to him, and I just end up making things works again?" He was crying harder now, chin tucked down against his chest and hands clenched against his sides, tears falling freely into his lap.

Blues came up behind him and leaned over the back of the couch, arms encircling him in a slight hug and chin resting atop his head. "Rock, I know you better than that. You were just unprepared before. Things will be different this time." He let go, and stood up straight, ending their brief hug. "Talk to him tonight, okay? You'll feel better."

Rock glanced over the back of the chair at him and nodded slightly. "Okay. I'll talk to him tonight." He gave the older Light bot a small smile.

Blues nodded slightly, smiling back at him. "Good. I'm going to go take a nap now, so keep it down. He gave him a lazy, half wave, and headed out of the living room, watching from the corner of his eye as Rock sank back down on the couch in relief, then headed for the basement steps.