Ruby rolled off of Sam. They were both out of breath and tacky with sweat. She stretched slightly before settling into a comfortable position, lying on her back with one arm tucked under her head. Sam rolled onto his side to get a better view of her.

He had been worried about her for the past few weeks, but she seemed to be doing better for the most part. He had learned how to perform the alarm spells along with a dozen other useful tricks. That had helped take some of the load off of her. She hadn't been as interested in eating, but Sam suspected that that was from the stress and strain of the constant running and fighting. That lifestyle wasn't too far off from his time hunting—there was lots of travel and frequent occurrences of life-threatening combat—but Ruby didn't have the hunting background he had. She seemed to be worn thin at times. It even looked like she had lost a little weight... but only in her arms. She still retained the gentle curves of her breasts and hips; if anything they seemed ever so slightly bigger.

"How long before we need to get back on the road?" she asked.

"We can probably afford a few hours," he speculated. "There weren't many demons around where we broke the line yesterday. Seems like we'll get a good head start. Maybe take off in the late afternoon?"

"In that case, I'm gonna grab a shower and you should probably get some beauty sleep," she teased him, flicking his chin-length hair with her fingers, then she stood up to stretch some more.

Sam liked watching her naked body move, seeing the muscles flex or the tattoo on her back contort with activity. She bent forward, extending her arms toward the ground. Then she arched backward while rubbing her lower back. He admired the little dimples above her ass, then glanced over to look at her hip bones, but they weren't as visible as normal. When she bent backward it was fairly clear that her abdomen had become a bit fuller, but only her lower abdomen... and her hips... and her breasts.

Sam felt like the bottom of his stomach had fallen out. His brain filled with a nearly-static noise of shock that left him unable to think for a moment. He must have turned pale because Ruby immediately stopped and gave him a worried look.

"Are you okay?" she asked. When he didn't answer right away she sat down on the bed again and put a hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

"I—um, do you feel—have you gained weight?"

Ruby looked a little annoyed at the question, but shrugged. "How would I know? These motels don't exactly come with scales... but yeah, maybe. I guess my pants have been a little tight lately." Her brow lowered suspiciously. "...Why?"

"It's just, the way you've been feeling sick and tired lately... and I noticed you stomach sticking out a little…. There isn't any chance you're... pregnant?" He barely got the word out.

She just stared at him completely blank-faced for several seconds. When she finally confirmed that she had indeed heard him correctly, she blinked several times in rapid succession and shook her head in confusion.

"What? No. That's impossible."

"Are you sure?"

"It doesn't work—demons can't—it doesn't work. Not with two demons. Not with a human. Stuff doesn't mix right." She emphatically moved her hands to mimic two objects that didn't fit together properly.

"What do you mean?"

"Demons, we're toxic. Way back when, some of the archdemons ran some experiments on breeding with humans, and it doesn't work. Best they could figure, the demon half was too toxic for the human half so nothing ever took." She was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

"Except demonic stuff isn't toxic to me. It actually seems to make me stronger. So... is it possible?" he asked, but Ruby didn't move at all. She was processing the implications of his statement for so long that he had his answer. "We need to find out."

Ruby got up and began pacing next to the bed. Sam had never seen her pace nervously before, which he found alarming, but that seemed like as good a time as any to adopt new nervous tics.

"I'm not entirely sure that a home pregnancy test is gonna work," she pointed out. "I'm a creature from Hell animating a brain-dead body, not sure how that affects the hormones."

Sam considered her concern. When it came right down to it, if they used one and the results came back negative, he just wouldn't feel confident in the results. The last thing they needed was to get tricked by a false negative and go another however-many weeks oblivious to the problem. They needed an answer in black and white—literally. He suggested, "An ultrasound should work. Mechanically everything should be normal, right? Either there's going to be something there or not."

"Yeah. That makes sense, I guess." She chewed on her lip while she answered, then stopped mid-stride and looked at him. "You know this is insane, right?"

They found a nearby clinic that could fit them in an hour later. The drive and wait had been one of the most agonizing experiences of their lives, which was saying a lot. After parking the Impala, Sam hesitated, unsure if he should go in with her, but Ruby circled around to the driver's door and silently dragged him from the car.

She checked in at registration under her alias, Kathy Anderson, while Sam stared awkwardly at the waiting area that seemed ominously full of infants. It took a little finagling and lying about already having taken a positive pregnancy test for her to avoid them making her pee in a cup. The last thing she needed was to be refused an ultrasound based on a false-negative. They both just wanted to get the damn thing over with. When she was done strong-arming her way into an appointment, she sat down next to Sam to wait in their shared uncomfortable silence.

After fifteen minutes, a nurse called, "Ms. Anderson?"

Ruby stood up and exchanged an uncertain glance with Sam. She was wavering in her conviction to drag him along and he didn't know if his presence would be supportive or stressful. The decision was made for them when the nurse stepped forward and inserted herself into the previously wordless debate.

"Are you the father?"

Sam's ears became hot and he was sure he blushed. The nurse's voice was cheerful in a way that made the situation worse somehow. He could tell that she was just trying to be friendly, but a sunny disposition was a trigger for Ruby when she was already stressed and Ruby's unnaturally quiet behavior was telling. So Sam decided to take on the responsibility of holding up their end of interaction with the nurse.

"In a way. That's what we're here to find out," he replied.

The nurse's eyebrows rose briefly and she glanced at Ruby, then leaned a bit closer. "Oh. This was um... unexpected?"

"Understatement," muttered Ruby. "I was told that I couldn't have kids. We just want to know if it's..."

The nurse put a hand on Ruby's shoulder in reassurance, but it just made Sam internally cringe with concern for the nurse's safety and Ruby's sanity. "Don't worry, my dear. We'll take a quick look. You'll know in a jiffy!"

The nurse lead them down a hallway and into an exam room that was decorated in pastels, then hummed some cheerful tune while she prepared the ultrasound machine. Ruby stared at her, then looked over at Sam with a weak glare. He shrugged, helpless to improve the situation, then pretended to find an informational poster fascinating. After readying the machine, the nurse had Ruby get onto the exam table, and uncover her abdomen. The nurse applied some gel to the exposed belly and began scanning.

Sam and Ruby couldn't see the monitor from where they were seated so they both watched the movement of the handheld scanning device instead. It took a few minutes of moving the device a little, then pushing a button or two, then scanning again, but the nurse kept coming back to the same point. Each time she came back to that spot Sam held his breath. On the fourth pass, the nurse held the scanner still.

"Congratulations!" she exclaimed in a sickeningly happy squeak and turned the monitor around so that they could see the black and white image. It was a fetus. Hell, it looked kind of like a baby. It had a head and visible arms; one of the arms even moved. When it moved Ruby's eyes widened, but she was otherwise motionless. The nurse didn't seem to notice Ruby's startled expression. "It looks like you're maybe 14 weeks along, but it can be hard to tell when the dad is so tall."

"Does everything look normal?" Sam managed. He didn't know what he expected to see from a half-demon fetus. Would it just be human or like a demon? What did demons even look like? He had only ever seen them as black clouds riding humans.

"Oh, yup! It looks healthy. You can even see the heart beating there."

She pointed to the monitor where a little area was fluttering. The nurse then pushed a button and the machine began emitting a tiny, rapid heartbeat. At that point, Ruby looked like she was so uncomfortable with the situation that Sam suspected she wasn't capable of retaining any information that the nurse said going forward. He decided to get Ruby out of the clinic as quickly as possible.

"I think we're going to need a little time to process this. Do you have any brochures or information that we could take with us?"

"Of course! Oh! And, since everyone wants to know, you have another four to six weeks before you can tell if it's a boy or girl. I'll go get you some materials to take home." The nurse smiled at Sam, who managed to awkwardly smile back. She stood up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Ruby turned to look at Sam, she was aghast.

"You okay?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

She squeezed gently. "I'll let you know."

They retreated to the Impala after the nurse gave them a large folder full of reading material and a roll of eight ultrasound photos. Sam got into the driver's seat since Ruby was in no state to drive, but he didn't start the car. Instead he ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to clear his head a bit. To his relief, Ruby was looking around and shaking her head in a similar attempt to start to process the new information.

"Holy fuck," she exhaled.

"Yeah." Sam flipped through the handouts before carefully tossing the folder onto the back seat. He then put the ultrasound photos into the glovebox. "You seem really— Are you okay?"

"I was not prepared for this."

"Yeah, we both weren't," he said sympathetically.

"I mean like, at all. When I was a human having a kid was never even remotely imaginable."

He had forgotten that Ruby had had another life as a human, when she could have faced this sort of thing before, but apparently pregnancy was not something she'd had experience with.

"You didn't have any kids when you were human?" He unconsciously skirted the looming conversation, but she didn't provide enough of an answer to take them off on a sufficiently distracting tangent.

"I died young."

There was a long silence that neither quite knew how to break. Sam sighed, shutting his eyes and pressing his lips together.

"This is unbelievable. The timing…" he muttered without knowing how to finish the thought.

"Was there ever gonna be a good time?" Ruby joked halfheartedly. The shock had started to wear off and she was beginning to really think about what was happening and how to proceed. His statement had surprised her.

It was true that having to deal with a pregnancy while they were chasing Lilith and being pursued was a horrible inconvenience, but she wasn't prepared for Sam to juxtapose their current situation with some scenario involving more feasible timing. In a glancing sort of way, he'd accidentally brought up the idea of having a kid independent from their immediate circumstances. She may not have ever thought about having kids, but it seemed that he had. It wasn't clear if those were old feelings brought to the surface or if he had continuously been carrying a secret hope for someday having a family.

But, in spite of his hopes, with everything that they were going through they still had to keep their wits. Even if it turned out that they wanted to give having a kid a shot—and that was a big if—they needed to know their options and consider the risks. She offered an easy out to the situation. "You know, I could just smoke out for a few minutes. That would probably end it."

"It probably would…." Sam sighed again and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the steering wheel.

"What are you thinking?"

"When I was at Stanford, I thought I was out. I wanted a normal life and family. After…. Afterward, when I started hunting again I figured that my chance at having a family was over. I didn't want my kid to grow up the way I did, into the life. I tried to make myself not want…." He almost finished the sentence with 'this' but hesitated. That was not the life he wanted to bring a child into. It was barely the kind of life he could stand living himself.

Yet, there was a big part of him that wanted to make things work. He didn't know if it was fear or hope that moved him. Since the motel room, he couldn't help but notice a small voice in the back of his mind that wondered if demonic essence was incompatible with humans. Could he even have a kid with a human? Demon blood ran in his veins, enough that he had reacted slightly to Ruby's demon-only potion in Colorado. That combined with his attunement to all things demonic had definitely put him into a grey area. The idea that he might lose some fundamental aspect of his humanity, like being able to breed with his own species, worried him. Not that he'd been planning on having kids at all, let alone having sex with anyone other than Ruby for the foreseeable future... He couldn't help but have a small, but legitimate concern that maybe having some fluke kid with her was his only chance. But as much as he feared the idea of a lost opportunity, he was slightly comforted to find that he felt even more wistful.

"Do you want to keep it?" she asked frankly.

"Maybe?" It wasn't a good answer, but it was honest. After a thoughtful pause he continued, "But it doesn't make sense; not with us going up against Lilith."

The rational side of him had resigned itself to ending the pregnancy, but he still didn't like the decision. If things had been different, if they weren't being chased all over the country until they killed Lilith or were killed themselves…. Throughout his life, the what-ifs always had had a way of hurting him.

Ruby could see that he was disappointed with his conclusion, even if he didn't mean to telegraph his feelings so clearly. For the last few months she'd watched him act more in his own self-interest. Not to the exclusion of others, but in the pursuit of some level of personal happiness. He wasn't doing anything bold, but there was a growing habit of enjoying simple pleasures, like hijacking the iPod to play something soft like Aimee Mann or stopping the car to stargaze. She liked to see him seek out things that made him happy because it meant that he was finally starting to live again instead of merely surviving. She could see that conflict on his face: the debate between living and surviving.

"You once told me that you wanted to kill Lilith in order to get closure and move on with your life," she said, breaking the bleak silence. "We screwed up her ritual thing. We've killed dozens or maybe a hundred of her minions. Maybe that's close enough to closure? Maybe moving on means doing something that you really want, finding something else to live for. Like looking to the future instead of dwelling on the past."

His body tensed with uncertainty. "You'd—you mean, you'd consider doing this?"

"If you want this kid, then I'll support that decision—if we can figure out a way to not get ourselves killed in the process." She wanted to make this situation work, but if they didn't have some sort of a plan to keep them alive it was going to be a moot point.

"What do you want?" he asked as he turned to look her in the eyes for the first time since they had gotten into the car.

Ruby had been going along with his crazy whims for so long that he hadn't stopped to think about her feelings. In a lot of ways she had more say in the decision than he did. She would have to endure being pregnant for another six months, which would be an ordeal. Also, Sam realized that Ruby didn't age, which meant that barring any untimely deaths, she would potentially have a longer relationship with a hypothetical kid, possibly even outliving it. He didn't expect her to have strong feelings the way he did because she hadn't thought about the subject as much, but surely she had some opinions, no matter how new they might be.

"Maybe?" She shrugged slightly. "It's hard to picture myself being much of a mom. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

He thought that that was an understandable reaction. It seemed like half the time she was about ten words shy of starting a bar fight. But the truth was that she wasn't as two-dimensional as she thought. After spending a year with her, he had seen her at her most vulnerable and sincere. She enjoyed poetry as well as punk rock. She dispensed words of wisdom and gentle reassurances. She appreciated good, but intimately understood evil. And she made those she cared for better by her company.

"From what I saw, you're great with the kids at your coven… and you rebuilt me from the ground up over the last year. I think you'd be fine, but that's just my opinion." Sam was noticing the turn in the conversation. It had gone from trying to decide whether to have the baby to finding a way to justify having the baby. "And, honestly, if it turns out that taking care of a kid isn't for you, if there was a way to make sure things were safe, then I think I could make it work."

He'd been raised by a single dad—well, two single dads if you counted Bobby—and while John Winchester was far from a model parent, Sam had never felt like he was supposed to have a mom. As much as everyone else had felt Mary's absence, Sam hadn't known any better and didn't expect more. And he was committed to being a much better father than his own.

Ruby raised an eyebrow at his offer. "You'd really be fine rocking the single dad status? You must ready want this kid."

"I guess I do." He smiled slightly. "Maybe you're right, about Lilith and finding something else to live for."

Ruby smiled back at him. She moved the conversation forward, away from the touchy feelings to more practical matters.

"If we're gonna do this we need to have a longer-term plan than just traveling every day. We seemed to be off the radar with the coven. We could go there, at least until we figure out something better."

Sam nodded for a second, then clenched a fist in annoyance. "Fuck. You can't get through the barrier until after the kid is born. Pascoe told me that the barrier doesn't let pregnant women through, some sort of design flaw involved protection against parasitic monsters."

"Parasitic monster sounds about right." Ruby rubbed the back of her neck. She had been tired before the whole pregnancy panic and now that they were staring down another six months of that she felt even more fatigued. "I guess we run for six more months and then after the kid is born make a break for the coven."

"Even if we can't get through the barrier, can the coven help us?" Sam asked hopefully.

"We can't stay with any of the expat-witches without putting them in danger, and I doubt they'd be able to offer more protection than we've already got." She shot down the idea. "It'd be good to let Gabin know what's going on, but I can't think of anything he can do for us while we're stuck moving all the time."

"The two of us—we're really going to do this?"

"Well, we're already doing crazy stuff. This is just a hair crazier," Ruby said, then suddenly pointed at Sam. "Just don't start touching my stomach or I'll break your hand."