Chapter 12

When the rest of us got out on the battlefield… excuse me, I meant on the Court ground, Lillith was pacing around restlessly. And the look in her eyes was almost haunted. But the most scary thing was that, even after I've gone through the plans with her at least thrice earlier, I felt clueless to what was about to come. I knew every hiding place, every map and every guardian attending to what seemed to most of us like a suicidal mission. And still, I could see none of them. The night was barely falling, and the sun should have helped me. But I could glimpse no one around.

'Are you sure that they are at their positions?' I asked slowly.

She stared at me then laughed nervously, returning to her pacing. 'I would take it as a sign that the arrangement is undetectable. Thank you. At least it was worth the stress.'

Before I could comment bitterly that we didn't know it before the battle, Adrian made his apparition. I checked him twice, so stunned I was. He seemed relaxed. He even smiled and waved at us when he got nearer. That made Lillith finally stop and frown to him. 'Stop acting like it's all going to be that simple.'

'I know it isn't. At least for you. But since you are here after another impossible mission in the Strigoi's layer, and still their "inside man", I think I can feel safe with you guarding my back.'

'Adrian, it's anything but safe!' she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. 'One small mistake from my side, and everything ends. One mistake, and can all be dead in seconds. Adrian, you have to promise me you will respect the plan. No matter what, you are guarding yourself first. The weakest feeling of uneasiness, of danger, and you are out of there, do you hear me? You get out as fast as…'

'It's for the first time I actually don't hear you speak about lateral casualties. You are endangering the whole mission for one person? This surely doesn't sound like you.' my mother commented.

'They come first.' Lillith said simply, and it was strange to hear how normal the guardians' mantra sounded on her lips. She really belonged to us, not to the human world.

But my mother wouldn't be impressed just so easily. 'But is the priority a whole Court or Adrian?'

For the first time in my life, I saw Lillith looking embarrassed of herself. But she still didn't break eye contact with my mother. 'Adrian.' she said in a steady voice. Both my mother and father looked struck by lightning. I probably wasn't far either. She had risked her life, lives of her kind so easily, she had used Moroi and guardians as baits, all with barely a second thought, but she wouldn't risk Adrian's life. Even he seemed taken seriously aback by the unexpected declaration.

'Lily, you shouldn't say things like that…' he began softly, embracing her from behind.

'But it is true. I would kill anyone I have to with my own hands just to keep you safe. I know you wouldn't ever trade the Court for me…' he tried to protest, but she didn't let him. 'Don't try to deny. You would defend your family first, Tatiana, Lissa… I understand it. And I admire you, really. Sometimes I wish I could think like that, more… devoted. But I don't. There is only one goal I go towards and I can sacrifice anything for it.'

A queer silence fell upon us. I and Lissa were the most uncomfortable, because we took her words as what they actually were –a declaration. She wanted him to know that she loved him if she couldn't make it out of the battle. I've seen this situation before –I've even been in it a couple of times- but it never hit me with such force like then. The way her bluish green eyes were staring blindly in our direction, the way Adrian was resting his head on her shoulder, even if he had to lean down to do it, because she was a bit shorter than him. It seemed so tragic. And never before had I wanted to turn my back and to weep at the harsh reality that surrounded us all. Lillith was but a girl. A human girl. And yet, she was suffering everything us, guardians, had to suffer. It didn't seem fair.

'I know it will sound final in such a time, but… I love you.' whispered Adrian.

Half of us were about to choke to death. I, Lissa and Dimitri were conscious of what was going on –and we still stared. It wasn't like Adrian to say it in public. Especially when they were trying to keep it secret. Mum, Abe and Eddie were about to faint then and there, preponderantly when Lillith smiled sadly and whispered back an "I love you too."

I hated repeating things. But in that moment I wished upon every star that was rising that they would get to repeat those words to one another a hundreds time over after today.

Lillith let out a heartbreaking sigh before slowly extracting herself from Adrian's embrace. 'Night is setting in. We should be prepared. Do you feel any Strigoi yet, Rose, Dimitri?'

Nothing yet. Regardless, we took position and Lillith and Adrian started pacing hand in hand around the outer border of the Court. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could almost see the shield sparkling in the moonlight, at barely a few feet from where they were standing. My heart started pounding faster, the craziness of our plan finally getting to my brain. We were letting Strigoi into the Royal Court! And this just after Lillith attested that she would sacrifice anyone and anything to keep Adrian safe. For one second, I tried to put myself into her shoes, to be me the one who was leading Dimitri to a good chance of death… I couldn't imagine it. "They come first" sounded hollow in my mind. Never, never would I have him sacrifice for Moroi. Not even for Lissa. I would die for her, but I wouldn't be able to let him die.

My immediate remorse and shock were cut short by Lillith and Adrian's voices. They were advancing towards my hiding place, as if in a game. Adrian was backing away, and Lillith was trying to lure him back near the border. Just then, dizziness and nausea took over me. They were here. Sharpening my eyes to darkness of the night, I could make out silhouettes moving in the forest behind the border. Panic rang through my whole body. Too many of them. We couldn't stand up to them.

'I thought you wanted to play.' Lillith was just giggling.

'Yes, in my room. Come, Lily, please. I promise you'll have something good.' he flirted back.

'Oh, come on, Adrian, it's such a beautiful night! Just a short walk in the forest…'

'Not even you are sweet enough to lure me into that, Lily. They're out, remember? Red-eyed Strigoi, hunting us...'

'Then we won't go out of the Court's border. Just come here, please... I want a kiss.' she purred, trailing a hand through her hair.

'What's up with coming there, anyway? You're acting weird lately, Lily. I'm sorry. I like you, I really do, but I'm not going near that border. If you want anything, you come here.' he said in a loud voice, loud enough for Strigoi to hear, both the lust and uneasiness and the determination.

Lillith's shoulders dropped. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking unsure of what to do next. Then, she sighed hard. Maybe hard enough for them to hear. Hard enough to make me think Strigoi were stupid if they didn't see anything wrong in the scene. 'If I'm going to be punished because of you, I swear I will be the first to take you down.'

Even if I know she was putting it up, I was still chilled to the bone by her tone. It was cold and, not necesarily menacing, but... not caring. Indifferent if he lived or not. Lillith was such a good actress that, for the barest second, I asked myself if we weren't all making a mistake, if she really was on our side. I didn't have time to fear for my life, though, or for any other life.

Her hand slid under her long coat. A silver flash, and the stake hit the shield. There was a change in the air, a sound... Or better said, the absence of a sound. The night stilled completely. It was like a soft undisturbing hum was suddenly cut off. One second, no one moved, no one breathed, not even the wind. Then, one after the other, shadows begun to creep through the destroyed line of the shield. Somebody screamed, I couldn't say if it was Lillith or Adrian, or one of the guards, or even me. It sounded more animal than human. Red eyes shone everywhere. Hell was breaking loose. Strigoi were inside.

Sorry I didn't write in such a long time, I was so busy I simply forgot about this one story. I do hope some of you will forgive me and still read until the end of this story, even with the pause. Please comment, I would really appreciate it, I feel like I'm out of hand and I want to see if it is so obvious like I feel it is. Hope not, anyway :D