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Chap 14 (Decision)
Hephaistion sat at his desk going over reports on what was happening through out the kingdom; he had to do something to take his mind off of Alexander and Cleitus, the two men who had his heart. Hephaistion couldn't understand why Alexander was acting this way; after all he had married Roxana. Shaking his head Hephaistion tried once again to concentrate on the work that sat in front of him. After a while he gave up it was no use, it was hard to think with Cleitus and Alexander running through his head. By the gods he missed Cleitus though; he couldn't even mention Clietus or Alexander would fly off into a rage. Realizing that he wasn't going to get anywhere in his work he stood up stretched and walked over to the window. It would have been so mush easier if he hadn't fallen for Cleitus then he wouldn't be as confused and torn as he was now. But he wouldn't change what had happened for anything.
Philotas quickly ran to find Alexander after he had seen Cleitus and Cassander head toward were Hephaistion was staying. Philotas found Alexander in a meeting with Ptolemy and Parmenion. "My lord, I'm sorry to interrupt but I have news concerning Cleitus and Hephaistion."
Anger flashed in Alexander's eyes. If Cleitus was anywhere near Hephaistion he would kill him, himself. But first he had to know the facts. "Tell me about Cleitus and Hephaistion, Philotas." Alexander in a dangerous tone.
Mean while Cleitus and Cassander stood outside of Hephaistion's room. "This may be the last time your able to see him make it count." Cassander says knocking on Hephasition's door. They wait until they hear Hephaistion yell come in. "I'll wait out here," Cassander says as Cleitus walks into Hephasition's room.
Cleitus walks in the room and slowly closes the door; he walks further into the room and sees Hephaistion starring out the window. "Hephaistion," Cleitus says softly so not to startle the other man.
"Cleitus by the gods what are you doing here, if Alexander…" Cleitus silences Hephaistion with a kiss.
"Alexander, won't find out I've been here….I had to see you Hephaistion, to tell you I love you," He leans forward to kiss Hephaistion. Hephaistion steps back and pushes Cleitus away.
"Cleitus no."
"Hephaistion?"
"I can't," Hephaistion whispers stepping further away from Cleitus. "Alexander is dangerous right……"
"Hephaistion," Cleitus begins.
"No Cleitus," Hephaistion interrupts "You say Alexander won't know, but he will. Alexander isn't stable right now. He's dangerous. Cleitus I don't want him to hurt you."
"What about you, he can hurt you to."
"No Cleitus….. I can't…. I can't do this anymore. It's killing me being pulled between you and Alexander. I can't do it anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying we can't see each other any more. I'll see if I can get Alexander to let you stay in Babylon, but we can't be together anymore."
"No, Hephaistion," Cleitus starts.
"Cleitus," Hephaistion says placing his hands on Clietus's lips. "Cleitus please I can't do this anymore."
"What are you saying," Cleitus asked dreading the answer.,
"I… I choose Alexander."
"No.. No Hephaistion you can't. You can't," Cleitus yells shaking Hephaistion slightly. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you love him more."
"Cleitus."
"No, Hephaistion I won't lose you please don't do this." Cleitus begged as tears formed in his eyes. He could feel his heart shattering at the moment. "I can't lose you Hephaistion please I love you, you can't let Alexander win. You promised me you'd fight. You promised we'd stay together. You said you loved me."
"I do love you Cleitus," Hephaistion whispered trying to hold back his own tears as Cleitus began to cry. "Please," Hephaistion said as he begins pushing Cleitus toward the door. "I'm marrying Alexander. We no longer have cause to be together."
"No I won't believe that," Cleitus yelled. " Tell me how you feel right now. Nothing about the past right now."
"I….I love Alexander. I am to be his consort."
"You no longer love me." Cleitus whispers not having heard Hephaistion's earlier declaration of love.
"I…. it was all to make Alexander jealous. I've gotten what I wanted, I no longer need you."
"I see," Cleitus says walking to the door. Before leaving he turns back to Hephaistion, "I'll always love you."
As soon as the door shuts Hephaistion falls to his knees and lets the tears he's be holding back fall, "I'm sorry," he cries. "Please forgive me." I love you so much." He whispers.
"That was really well done my love," Alexander says stepping into the room from the side door.
"He thinks I don't love him anymore there's no need to send him away now." Hephaistion whispers through his tears.
"No I guess not," Alexander says kneeling in front of Hephaistion. "I'm sorry this is hurting you my love, but you were promised to me by the gods, I can not allow anyone else to have you." Alexander says running his hand down Hephaistion face wiping the tears away. "You should return that to him, " Alexander says indicating the necklace that Cleitus had given Hephaistion.
"Please Alexander…it's…its all I have left."
"Your mine and I won't have you wearing someone else's symbol."
"Alexander.."
"No," Alexander yells jumping up, " I don't want to hear it Hephaistion. You love me. You choose me. Me not him. Have you changed you mind."
"No," Hephaistion whispers from his place on the floor. Taking off the necklace Hephaistion hands it to Alexander.
"Guard," Alexander yells. "Take this to general Cleitus tell him there is not need to pack. He won't be leaving after all." When the guard leaves Alexander turns back to Hephaistion holding out his hand he helps him stand. "Listen to me my love, once you become my consort everything will be well again and we shall be happy. You'll see." Alexander states heading toward the bedroom.
Through Alexander's whole speech all Hephaistion can think of his the look on Cleitus's face. Some day he'll realize I did it all for him. Hephaistion thinks.