A Lady and a 'Gentleman'
Chapter Fourteen: Reunited, At Last
"YES! It's finally Tuesday!" was all Emma could think of when she opened her eyes. She bounced out of bed with the brightest smile on her face, skipped to the window to pull the drapes open, and was absolutely delighted to see the cheerful sun smiling at her as to bid her the pleasantest morning. She quickly completed her toilette, put on her dress, picked up the shawl and bonnet that she had set aside the previous night before hurrying downstairs to see that everything was ready for her journey.
After accompanying Mr. Woodhouse to his morning exercise in the garden, settling him in his arm-chair by the fire with a blanket on his lap and a pillow behind his back, Emma bade her father goodbye to take her leave. Though her father was still in agreement with her traveling to Kingston, his apprehension was demonstrably displayed by his holding of her hands and would not let go for almost quarter of an hour - until Emma slowly and painstakingly extracted them from his hands! She patiently promised her father many a time to abide by all his conditions (still with the exception of the nightly gruel), then planted a kiss on his forehead along with an affectionate hug, and walked out of the house without looking back – fearing that her father might see the tears in her eyes and would regret his decision and not let her go on her journey.
Feeling sad and guilty for leaving her father for the first time since her holiday with George to the Seaside, and second time ever in her life, Emma, with Betty in the carriage cabin and James on the coachman perch in the front, began trotting down in the Hartfield carriage embarking on her journey to Kingston.
If Emma had thought that the beautiful sunny morning was an omen of a smooth journey to Kingston – she was completely mistaken!
An hour into the journey, their carriage was almost overturned by James' steering sharply to the left to avoid a rabbit suddenly hopping onto the road; fortunately no one was injured and the rabbit was spared, but the mishap caused one of the front wheels to come loose and a whole hour of delay to fix the wheel.
Another hour into their journey they were met with another hurdle - the flood that happened a month ago had damaged part of the road to Kingston and now forcing a rerouting on the three travelers. The deviation from the normal course not only two-folded their traveling time, but the bumpiness of the rough road nauseated Emma to an unspeakable extent, and when they finally arrived at their destination, her head was throbbing, and her limbs were numbed.
'It cannot rain but it pours' was, in Emma's mind, most befitting when she was denied the right to her own husband's chamber! As it was meant to be a surprise, George did not know to inform the innkeeper of the expected arrival of Mrs. Knightley; and the very loyal innkeeper must abide by the inn's policy in respecting the privacy of their guests, and was not at the liberty to let Mrs. Knightley into Mr. Knightley's chamber, nor disclose his chamber location to anyone.
While Betty and James' accommodations at the inn were secured prior to their arrival, poor Emma's was not. With the many landowners and fair-goers at Kingston, the inn was without available guest chambers – except for one – the one that was most undesirable, to say the least, by any genteel guests, the one that situated immediately above the inn's kitchen, the one with its window opened to the waste-dump of the establishment, the one that was filled with unappetizing odor and ear-wrenching clanking noises from the multitudes of pots and pans down in the kitchen below – the one that added to Emma's nausea and increased the throbbing pain in her head!
Nevertheless, things seemed brighter when Betty walked into Emma's chamber and told her that James had found out, through another coachman whom he had met at the servant's quarter, who knew the inn's gardener, who knew the chambermaid on the East Wing, and who knew the chambermaid on the West Wing, where Mr. Knightley's chamber situated.
Unable to enter into George's chamber to carry out her surprise as planned, Emma quickly conjured up a new plan for an alternative – sending him an anonymous note, simply stating "Begging for your presence at my chamber upon your return this night!", and written with her left hand, for George undoubtedly would recognize her usual hand in an instant, and slipping it under the foot of his chamber-door for his discovery when he returned.
With the prospect of only entrapping in this awful smelly chamber for an hour or two, Emma was determined to overlook all unpleasant circumstances and patiently awaiting for George's return from his dinner meeting.
It was almost nine o'clock when George returned that evening, and without a hitch he saw the note on the floor straight away. He picked up the note, read it - his face darkened! Without delay, he headed to the innkeeper's in an extremely annoyed spirit.
"Good evening, Sir!" The innkeeper greeted him warmly as he walked up to the front-desk.
"Good evening." Handing the note to the innkeeper politely but sounding peeved, "I found this note on the floor inside my chamber, do you know who delivered it to my chamber?"
"Humph! I'm sorry, Sir, I don't have the faintest idea how this arrived at your chamber."
"Well then. Do you know if it is a lady or gentleman staying at this chamber?" George asked, trying to suppress his growing irritation.
"Sir, it is our inn's policy to never disclose the name of our guest without approval." The innkeeper said apologetically.
"I do not wish to know the name of the guest; I only need to know if this is a gentleman or lady." Making his point very clear, George's frustration was obvious to the innkeeper.
"In that case, Sir, I don't think there is a policy against such disclosure, let me look up the guest register..." After a short moment, the innkeeper informed George that the guest in question was a lady.
Upon hearing that it was a lady who sent the note, George's face turned even darker, he crumbled the note in his hand, left it on the front-desk, and said to the innkeeper "Thank you." Then he walked back to his chamber fuming with vexation and annoyance.
It was four hours ago when Emma sent Betty to slip the note into George's chamber, and resolved to be waiting patiently and expectantly for the knock on the door from her husband. Now at eleven o'clock and still no George in sight. Emma's exhaustion had overtaken her body as well as her spirit, and her determination to wait patiently had long worn out along with the hope of seeing George tonight. As she was about to change into her nightgown to retire to bed, she thought to herself "What if he did not see the note?"
Without a moment of hesitation, Emma left her chamber heading to George's. In spite of her fatigued body and haggard spirit, being cognizant of the late hours and guests who had already retired, she did not give into improprieties and lack of considerations - she gingerly and quietly walked through the various long passageways and corridors without making a sound.
She finally reached George's chamber and was ecstatic to see flickering of lights coming through the crack at the foot of the door. She smiled mischievously and placed a quiet knock on his door.
"No answer! He might not have heard the knock." She thought.
"Knock again!" And she did, quietly, "Still no answer!"
Quietly, she knocked again, and again, and again, and again…
"How dare this woman to be calling me at this unceremonious hour? Can't she take a rejection and preserve some dignity for herself!" This was all George could think of the entire time when Emma was knocking outside his chamber.
Unbeknown to Emma, George had mistaken the sender of the anonymous note to be some courtesan or mistress residing at the inn! Over the years, George had seen many landowners and wealthy gentlemen traveling in and out of inns arm-in-arm with their mistresses. Part of him sympathized with those ladies who had to degrade themselves to such situation, but his sympathy quickly vaporized when he saw the flirtatious looks and signals they sent to other men even as they were in the arms of their misters. Let the truth be told, this was not the first time he had received an unsolicited invitation from an unknown lady while he was at a foreign town, and as usual, he was completely disgusted by the gesture – thus determined not to answer the knock!
Emma had been knocking on the door for almost ten minutes and was certain that someone was inside, for she could hear noises coming from some movements. But why would he not come to the door?
Even with all that had happened during the day, and her frustration that had been mounting and tears that were on the verge of bursting out of her eyes, she was not about to give up. After all, she had been waiting for four hours and it would not do to give up now - still maintaining her decorum, she quietly knocked on.
With his aggravation and impatience intensifying at the caller outside his chamber, George finally feared he must make his rejection in person – he tossed his agricultural journal down on the writing desk in frustration, stood up abruptly from his chair and reached the door in three long strides and swung it open.
To his absolute astonishment, never had he expected to see his beloved wife standing in front of him holding up her fist almost knocked onto his chest!
"Emma!" He cried, astounded.
"George…" Emma said timidly, looking at George with red teary eyes.
For an instant, George was completely escaped of words and unable to move.
At the next instant, Emma threw her arms around his neck, and began to sob bitterly, her head resting on his chest.
"Are you all right, Emma? Is everything all right? Did something happen at Hartfield? What about your father? How did you get here?" The shock of having Emma in his arms and the fear of something terrible had happened caused his heart to beat uncontrollably.
As Emma still sobbing, George continued to hold her in one hand, and let go of the other to quietly push the door to shut. He slowly removed Emma's arms from his neck, steadied her to stand still and cupped her teary cheeks with his hands to look at her face.
"You look so pale, Emma!" As Mrs. Weston had once described, Emma had always been the picture of health, it pained George to see the colorless figure standing in front of him.
"What happened? Please tell me, what had happened, what brought you here?" George asked urgently.
After her sobs subsided and sniffling her last sniffles, Emma looked up at George, with her best effort she gathered up a half smile on her face and said in a barely audible voice.
"Surprise!"
"Surprise?" Astonished, George repeated, "You came all the way to Kingston to surprise me?"
She nodded and began blurting out, "But it wasn't supposed to happen like this… I was supposed to wait for you at your chamber, but I couldn't… and you were supposed to come to mine, but you didn't … what happened George? I left you a note, did you not find it?"
"A note! You mean the note on the floor? But… it wasn't signed… and I didn't know that it was from you, Emma!" Barely having enough time to take in the sight of Emma in front of him, George could not believe she was the sender of the note.
"Of course it wasn't signed… it was meant to be a surprise, George! If you saw the note, why did you not answer it?" In her frustration, Emma moved a few steps away from George.
"Hum… Emma, I thought the note was from… from... " George stammered.
"From whom George? Whom did you think the note was from?"
"I thought… I thought it was from some… some mistress or courtesan of somebody!" George had always been honest and opened with Emma about everything since they were married, but it never occurred to him that this would become a subject of their conversation one day.
"What…" Emma trailed off, trying to comprehend what she had just heard.
In her dismay, she asked, "You mean those… those things… I mean … ladies are real?I mean… I knew they were real… but I… I had always thought… they were… far away… and … and rare… "
George nodded, taking couple steps closer to Emma, he carefully added, "They are real, Emma! You have lived in the quiet countryside and been sheltered from these sorts of things all your life. Those things and ladies are more common than you think; they are in many places, especially in places and occasions like this – where men are away from their homes, from their wives…"
Knowing George was right, Emma admitted to herself that she had long heard of such things but never given much thought to them. Never had she imagined the kind of 'lives' that some men would live or realized the kind of temptations that some would face while away from their wives – she would never have thought that George might mistaken her note for this particular reason!
A blush had reddened her colorless face as she said shyly, "You mean… you thought… the note was from one of those ladies… was that why you didn't come to my chamber… and why you didn't answer the door?"
George nodded and guiltily he said, "I'm sorry, Emma, I have always found these invitations repulsive and disgusting, I would never give a thought in answering such request… but if I knew it was you, I would have gone to you immediately…"
"You mean… you have had these… invitations… before?" Emma moved a step closer to George, looking intently into his eyes, "You mean… you were never… tempted…ever?"
George moved another step closer to Emma, looking deeply into her hazel eyes and said vehemently, "Never in my entire life, and never will, Emma!"
"Oh… I love you, George!"
For the second time tonight, Emma threw her arms around George's neck, but instead of sobbing bitterly, she kissed him with all the strengths she had left, and George, pulling her ever closer, eagerly returning her kiss with even more intensity.
When they finally broke their lips apart, with the tip of their noses still touching, they slowly opened their eyes to see the smiles they had longed for dreadfully the last ten days. Then George raised his hand to caress Emma's cheek tenderly and asked, "Now, will you please tell me what happened, my dearest Emma?"
They sat on the sofa while Emma recounted everything that had happened during the day to George – that how her carriage almost overturned, how the rerouting extended the long journey, how the innkeeper denied her to his chamber, how she had to take the last available chamber which was horrible, and at last, how long and anxiously she had waited for him to knock on her door!
It was past midnight, Emma was completely exhausted and had fallen asleep in George's arms on the sofa. Just when George carried and laid her down gently on bed, he heard a quiet knock on the door – though it was odd to have a caller at this late hour, the most unusual thing had already happened this night, he did not hesitate to answer the door this time.
"Good evening, Mr. Knightley!" To his surprise, it was Betty.
"Oh! Good evening, Betty."
"Sorry for disturbing you at this late hour, Mr. Knightley… I didn't find Mrs. Knightley in her chamber and thought I heard her voice when I came by yours… I brought Mrs. Knightley's nightgown and her change of clothes for the morrow."
"That is very thoughtful of you, Betty! Mrs. Knightley is exhausted; could you please come in and help her change into her nightgown?"
"Yes, Mr. Knightley!"
After Betty finished and was about to take her leave, George spoke to her quietly.
"Betty, did the carriage stop every hour during your journey today? Mrs. Knightley is not used to riding for long journeys, and she must rest every hour in order to settle her nausea." George had learnt this about Emma during their Seaside holiday journey.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Knightley! Mrs. Knightley was very anxious to get here and she wouldn't let James stop the carriage until…"
"Until when?"
"Until she had to vomit… we stopped four times…"
George sighed, shook his head and continued to ask, "Then, had she have much supper tonight?"
Betty shook her head regretfully and explained, "All Mrs. Knightley wanted was to wait for you to come to her chamber… she only had a little bit of bread… "
Another long sigh and George lamented to himself quietly, "That would not do!"
"Thank you, Betty. It's very late, you should retire for the night. I will see you in the morning."
"Thank you, Mr. Knightley!"
While Emma was sleeping sweetly in bed, George put away his agricultural journal and changed into his nightshirt. Then he placed the last burning candle on the small table by the bed as he sat quietly next to Emma - watching her sleep.
Brushing her long silky hair away from her forehead, tracing her delicate face tenderly with his finger, and watching her in slumbers, it pained George to think of what Emma had suffered to come to Kingston - and she did it all for him! He thought to himself, how much he had wished for her presence, and how true it was that his world would not be complete without her being there, he was deeply touched by her surprise and truly grateful to have her by his side.
As his gaze shifted from his beloved wife to around the inn chamber, George could not help but reflect on how his world was in turmoil this time only a year ago…
It was in this chamber – where he stayed every time when he came to Kingston, for its being removed from the bustling of the inn and its tranquility that allowed him to read his books and journals quietly at night after a busy day; but even with all the tranquility of the world could not have calmed his greatly troubled spirit a year ago. It was in this very chamber, after searching, and searching deeply into his heart he eventually and completely confessed to himself that he was hopelessly in love with Emma.
It was his jealousy of Frank Churchill that had awakened him to his romantic feelings for his old friend, what he did not realize was the immensity of his feelings! For Emma had always held a special place in his life as well as his heart since she was a child, he hardly knew when his affection for her had transformed from that of a partial old friend to a forlorn admirer. Perhaps he had long been in love with her since she had grown into a woman; it was only their long-standing friendship that had deceived him to think the flutter he felt in his stomach every time he saw her as merely the joy and excitement of seeing an old friend.
It was in this chamber where he agonized over the thought of Emma might be in love with Frank Churchill, and that must be the reason why she was looking forward to the Crown Inn Ball so exceedingly. And it was in this same chamber, where he promised himself he would not jeopardize her happiness by interfering her attachment with the young man, or rivaling for her affection with him - even though it was uncharacteristic of him to ever give up without fighting a good fight, for he had always believed in asserting himself to his fullest to achieve his goals, Emma's happiness was far too important for him to be thinking of himself - if she was indeed in love with Frank Churchill, he would be willing to suffer, regardless of how painful and tormenting it would be, and standby her to love and protect her silently from a distance…
He took a deep breath as he awakened from this miserable memory of a year ago, and smiled at the heavenly sight of Emma sleeping angelically in front of him, as his beloved wife, his old friend, his and only his Emma! Not a day had gone by he did not thank God for bestowing him with this sweetest and best of all creatures, faultless in spite of all her faults! The tormenting heartache, dreadful misery, and indescribable confusion that he felt a year ago had long been replaced with something so like perfect happiness, that it could bear no other name!
Feeling complete and content, George put out the candle, quietly laid down next to his precious wife, gently slid his arm under her neck and shoulders to hug her close and placed a tender kiss on the top of her head; and Emma, in her half-wake, half-sleep state, snuggled herself up against George, and whispered…
"mmmm… I love you, George…goodnight…"
"Sweet dreams, Emma… I love you!"