Can you even begin to understand my elation? I have over 200 reviews, and this is my first ever story. If you have left reviews for me, thank you so so much! If you've read and not left a review, I thank you all the same! but really, I'm interested in hearing your thoughts, so please share them if you have a minute.
Sometimes a chapter is easy to write. Sometimes, not so much. It needs to percolate a bit, and I have to carve out minutes here and there while I can. I've gotten better about writing when Hubs is in the room - which is good because he was getting mighty tired of me holing up in a dark room after the kids were in bed. Still can't bring myself to be prolific. Word economy - say it with me. Short and sweet and to the point.
Some of you might protest that Edward's question in the car is OOC, but I just had to do it. He is inexperienced in such matters, and he really wants to know. Having Bella alone in the car with no one else around to hear, he just has to ask. Allow me my little delight in his embarrassment and Bella's wicked little reply.
Your mood music: 2 songs this time - Appliance - "Pacifica" and The Wailin' Jennys - "Heaven When We're Home"
I leaned my forehead against the cold glass of the window, staring at Charlie's small house one last time. It was nearly 2 o'clock in the morning, and his cruiser was in its usual spot in the brick driveway. The clouds were thick over Forks, but not so thick that the moonlight didn't break through now and again. I hoped he was sleeping well.
My memories of the house were fragmented, blending together into a general idea of what life with Charlie had been like. I cooked food in the little kitchen with the sunny yellow cabinets, watched TV on the shabby couch in the small living room, slept in the blue walled room with the old lace curtains at the open window – always wide open for Edward to come to me. If I focused I could pick individual threads from the blur, but that would fade with time. It was shocking to consider that I'd only lived there for a couple of years when my clearest human memories were of my life there.
I looked away from my window to Edward, sitting in the driver's seat rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb as I tried to say goodbye to a place and a life that I had known. I could not say goodbye to Charlie with a kiss and a hug. This was as good as I could get for now. Any closer would be dangerous for both of us.
His eyes were filled with sorrow as he looked at me. "Take all the time you need," he murmured. No one was awake to see us, and the new 4 wheel drive land rover was unfamiliar to Charlie if he happened to wake up and glance out of his window. I turned back to look, tracing the lines of the house with my eyes, knowing that now I would always remember this house even if I couldn't remember my life inside it. I leaned against the window again, and my breath made no fog to obscure my vision. Little changes like that were still surprising to me.
The past few days had been too busy for me to really think about the implications of leaving Forks. The family's cars had been either been sold or put into storage. Furniture had been donated or disassembled and loaded into the large truck that Emmett would be driving north. Paperwork had been placed in order, IDs forged, plans checked and double checked. The amount of detail in the move was astonishing, but everyone in the family took it as a matter of course. They'd done it many times before, picking up and settling in a new life, a new identity, as easily as I'd once changed my shoes.
We were headed for Alaska. Carlisle and Esme had located and purchased a house near a town called Circle Hot Springs that had been built by a group wanting to sponsor eco-tours of the Yukon River. Fortunately for us, their venture never took off, so the house met our criteria of being available and suitably remote. I was confused at first, thinking that we would be going to stay with the other vampires in the Denali area, but that wasn't to be. Carlisle explained that too many of us in the same area would attract too much attention, and because his family had been in that village immediately before coming to Forks, they did not want to return to the same location. The residents in and around Circle City and Circle Hot Springs were happy to have a new doctor fresh out of school come to their area to work a rotation through their clinics, and everything fell into place with ease.
I turned away from the house again. No amount of gazing at it would change a thing. I didn't feel as much loss as I'd imagined I would, as all of my fondest memories of Forks were wrapped up in the man sitting next to me. It was time to go. I drew a shuddering breath, let it out, and smiled. All that mattered in the world was right here with me, and I would go to the ends of the earth and beyond if that's what it took to be with him. I raised his hand to my lips and gently kissed it before saying, "Let's go."
xxxx
The miles between Washington and Alaska unrolled beneath our tires, spinning away like so many memories I left behind. I reveled in the peaceful time, alone with Edward once again. The last few days had been so chaotic with our preparations, we hadn't had much time together, newlyweds or no. Edward had made it a point to visit the meadow one last time together, and a smile flitted across my face as I thought of it.
I looked over at him to find him grinning back at me, and he laughed gently before saying, "Tell me Bella, why am I smiling?"
"For a minute there I thought you'd managed to finally read my mind," I teased.
"Would that I could," he sighed. "I'm unable to keep from responding to your smile. Simply knowing that something is making you happy is enough to have me grinning like a fool," his eyes were warm as he mused.
I took his free hand and began tracing the lines of his palm as I had that first visit, a lifetime ago it seemed, to the meadow. "I was thinking of our meadow, and our last visit there," I glanced at him sideways to see his crooked grin.
"That was a particularly good visit," he agreed. He was silent for a moment. "I was wondering if you would answer a question for me?"
"What do you want to know?" I was a little fearful he would start on the track of me leaving everything behind, so I was surprised when he didn't immediately answer me. I looked over to find him completely focused on his driving, looking out the windshield as if we were on a winding mountain road instead of on the straight, flat Canadian highway.
"Edward?" I prodded, mystified.
He glanced quickly at me out of the side of his eyes and cleared his throat. "Well," he paused.
"That's a very deep subject," I teased, trying to draw out whatever it was that had him so reticent.
"Remember that you introduced the subject," he began, and paused again. I simply sat waiting, wondering what subject I'd brought up. "Because I've only… known you… as a vampire… while you've…" I realized as he struggled for words that he'd be beet red if he had the ability. "Well, you were human and then a vampire so you've had both experiences."
I couldn't help a wicked smile as I turned to him and asked, "Edward my love, are you asking me if you're good in bed?" I couldn't help myself. Smooth, unflappable Edward; embarrassed and squirming was too delicious to pass up.
He didn't answer, but was even more focused on his driving, the fingers on the hand I'd captured twitching slightly as I ran my fingers over them. I watched as a slow smile broke over his face as he considered the situation, "I suppose it's amusing, and cliché to ask," he allowed as I laughed.
I gently kissed his fingertips before I leaned over to whisper in his ear, "My dear Edward, every sense is heightened as a vampire." I swear the car swerved slightly, and I leaned back to my chair laughing.
That was easily the most entertaining conversation of the trip.
xxxx
We were driving in a caravan with Alice and Jasper in the car behind us. Alice had planned our route meticulously, to avoid placing me near humans as much as possible. They even timed their gas stops alternately, pulling over to the side of the road for me to change into Alice's car if Edward needed to stop for fuel. She would then drive at normal human speeds through the town and down the highway while he made his stop and then caught up to us. It worked very well, and I was glad for their concern. I'd hunted every day before we left Forks, and the trip north was the longest I'd gone since my change. I hurried to get in the car when we were pulled over, fearing some good Samaritan would stop to see if we needed help. Fast driving and not needing to stop to eat or use the rest areas made the drive go by quickly, and we reached Circle by evening of the next day.
Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie had left Forks before we did, so they were already there when we pulled up to the house near twilight. It didn't look as large as the white house on the river that we'd left behind, but it was long and low, curling around the side of a hill like it was seeking shelter from the wind, which on second thought it probably was. It was one story, with what looked like a large garage carved into the hillside below it. I imagined there were stairs on the inside leading up to the house, so a person could get inside without having to brave the arctic cold.
The siding was a dark wood with green trim and heavy shutters for the windows. Several chimneys stuck up from the roof, and it blended in to the surrounding woodland very well. It had a deep front porch that overlooked the river winding through the valley far below. I stopped to look at the view before entering the house, leaning on the railing and staring in wonder at the beauty stretched before me. I didn't snap out of my reverie until Edward's arms snaked around my waist and he kissed the hollow behind my ear. "Do you like it?"
"It's breathtaking. How did Esme find it?"
"It's her hobby, finding places like this and fixing them up, making them feel like home."
"Fun hobby to have," I said, and went to help unload the last of the truck.
"I have it," Emmett said passing me. "You need to get out and hunt quickly so you can explore the new place. Jasper and Alice are waiting down the hill for you."
"Thank you Emmett," I said. I'd once again been swallowing continuously, reflexively trying to quell the burning in my throat. I hadn't even noticed until he said something. I must be making progress. "I might as well face my realities," I sighed. I had hoped to be able to go longer by now, but they all assured me that I was doing well. I supposed I needed to let go of the irrational hope that my distaste of blood when I was a human would make it easier to go without it now.
"It's been two days. You're doing very well," Esme said from the porch. "Go on and take care of yourself. We can handle things here." Her smile was like a hug as Edward took my hand and we walked down the slope to find Alice and Jasper.
Alice danced over to me, "How are you holding up?"
"I'm good," I assured her. "I thought that leaving Forks behind would be harder, but aside from Charlie and everyone at La Push, I brought everyone I cared about with me," I smiled. "It's actually much easier than I thought it would be."
xxxx
It didn't take us long to find game to hunt. The area was teeming with wildlife, and we were very near two parks that provided ample opportunities. I imagined Emmett's delight when he saw how many bears were around.
There were plenty of wolves in the area, but I couldn't bring myself to hunt them. I knew that they had no relationship to Jacob or any of the others in the pack, but it felt like betrayal to even consider them, so I shied away. Edward remarked on this with raised eyebrows, and I answered with a shrug. He caught my hand and pulled me closer to whisper, "I'm not upset. This is your first sign of restraint. I'm impressed."
Impressed? I looked into his eyes, searching for some indication of anger or hurt there, but couldn't find anything to make me doubt him. "You're not mad?" I asked him anyway.
"Never Bella," he murmured. "It's who you are."
xxxx
We returned to the house to find most of the heavy work done. We'd left most of the furnishings behind, and Esme was looking forward to the fun of finding things to compliment the mostly wooden, honey colored interior. The front door opened to a central area that was much larger than it looked from the outside. It was graced by a large fireplace, and had several windows that were not large, but were well placed to allow maximum light. Esme had already found and arranged some thick, creamy woolen rugs on the floor, and Emmett was in the process of starting a fire. I turned around, surveying the scene of my new home. I completed my circle to find Edward staring down at me, a curious light in his eyes as he grinned down at me.
"What are you smiling at?" I wondered.
"Not one thing in particular," he said, wrapping his arms around me. "I've never had the experience of starting over with someone before," he continued. "In the past, every time we've moved I've been a brother, a son…" he leaned down to touch is forehead to mine. "It's uncharted territory for me to have you, to be a husband, to spend my first night in our new home with someone else rather than alone with my thoughts," he smiled gently. "It's a feeling that I could become accustomed to very easily."
I was falling into his eyes again as I reached up to wrap my hands around his neck, but the fire popped, reminding me that we were in the main room of the house instead of on our own. I looked around quickly, but the rest of the family had disappeared, clearly giving us some privacy as we settled into our new space and into our new roles.
He lifted me into his arms, "I did miss bringing you over the threshold of the house, but I will bring you to our room properly," he murmured, his eyes alight.
He turned to the right and entered that wing of the house, passing one door that he identified as Alice and Jasper's room and another that he said was Jasper's study. Emmett passed us in the hall, clapping Edward briefly on the back as he passed when Edward thanked him.
"What was that about?" I asked. Usually Emmett wouldn't pass up such an opportunity to tease.
Edward smiled crookedly down at me, "They're all feeling generous," he explained. "They're nearly as happy as I am to have you here with me." We reached the end of the hall and he turned to the right and into our room. I gaped as I realized that it was nearly completely set up, the couch already placed along one wall, the bed standing fully assembled and made on the thick cream carpeting. The CDs had been unpacked onto built in shelving, and the stereo was fully set up in a nook that seemed expressly designed for that purpose. Our suitcases of clothing were the only things that had been left untouched.
I shook my head slowly in disbelief and mild embarrassment. "We weren't gone that long. How did they get all of this done?"
"Emmett and Rosalie made this room a priority," he smiled crookedly down at me. "I suppose they're trying to atone for all the thoughts I've had to hear over the past seventy or so years," he chuckled to himself.
"We should thank them."
"Indeed, we should," he agreed as he ran his lips from my ear to my collarbone. He crossed the room and set me gently on the bed, pushing me back onto the pillows. "We'll make it a priority, first thing tomorrow."