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Chapter 14

When Clara woke up she felt the distinct weight of an arm around her waist – and a throbbing headache. In panic she searched last night's memories for a clue as to who was lying next to her when she heard Alex' voice. For a brief moment she had been hoping that it was somebody else's arm holding her.

"Morning, my sweet, little party girl," he whispered into her ear.

Immediately she turned around in his embrace, looking at him. "Alex. . . but. . . you weren't supposed to come back until tomorrow."

He shrugged. "Wrapped the interviews early, flew back and got here an hour ago. I've missed you," he said before he kissed her.

"How did you know I've been partying?" Clara asked warily when he pulled away.

"Dress and high heels on the floor, remains of what looks like a late night snack in the kitchen and not to mention," he smiled and wiped away something from under her eyes, "Panda eyes. Did you have a good time without me?"

"I hate clubbing. And my head is exploding," Clara muttered grumpily. She really wasn't feeling too well and the thoughts of what had happened last night slowly returned to her. She just couldn't believe she had told John about wanting to kiss him. Thank God she had come to her senses later after the effects of the tequila had worn off a little.

"Well," Alex replied with a smirk, "I know a nice cure for headaches. The best there is. And I remembered to buy the condoms this time."

She let out a tired groan. "Can you cure my headache after I've slept for another hour?"

Alex shuffled closer to her, pulling her body against his. "Honey, I've missed you so much. A whole week without you, that was torture."

Clara pushed away from him and rolled on her back, lifting her hands in a surrendering gesture. "Fine," she spat, "But make it quick so I can go back to sleep."

Immediately he sat up in bed next to her, a stern expression on his face. "Clara, why are you being like that?"

"Because I'm tired and I'm sore and if you wanna do it, I want to get it over with. So are you gonna fuck me or what?" Clara asked angrily.

"Not when you're being like that," Alex said simply.

Now Clara struggled into a sitting position as well, looking at him. "I mean it, Alex. Make it quick and make it good."

Clara watched him as he rubbed his face with his hands before he came to look at her again. "Clara, what is happening to us?" he asked, "Ever since we moved here, things have been rocky, but it's never been as bad as this."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because it's the truth," he replied, "I think this house, moving here, it was a mistake. Maybe we should move somewhere else, make a fresh start, somewhere we both want to be."

"Well, tough luck, because I like it here now," Clara replied brusquely.

"Then what is it that bothers you so much?" Alex asked desperately, "I want to fix it, but I don't know what it is that you want fixed."

Clara took a deep breath. She really wasn't in the mood for this conversation, but Alex was right. He couldn't fix it unless he knew what was going on. She had told John, telling Alex wouldn't be so bad.

"I'm scared," Clara finally admitted.

"Scared?" Alex raised his eyebrows, "Of me?"

"No, not you. Of us," she paused, "Ever since we moved out of our flat things have been getting more and more serious and the direction we're headed as a couple seems so clear."

"Clara, we've been together for over five years. Things have been serious for quite some time."

"Yes, but it never felt like it. This house just seems like a stepping stone to marriage and kids and I'm not ready for that."

Alex inhaled sharply, but his tone remained soft. "It was never meant as such. I just thought that with my new job we could afford it and that it would be nice not to live in that closet of a flat anymore. I know that you like your freedom and I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I was pushing you into things you don't want."

Clara only nodded.

"That being said, you know I want to get married and have children some day. But you and I, we will pick that day together. And if you want to wait another 10 years, that's fine."

"But what if I never want those things?"

He sighed and lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "Then I'll be fine just growing old with you and living in sin until the day I die."

Clara smiled reluctantly. She was glad to have gotten this off her chest, although she felt like this wouldn't be their last fight.

OOO

After a long shower Clara headed downstairs to find that Alex had already prepared breakfast and also to find Amy sitting in the kitchen in front of a huge mug of coffee. She and Alex were laughing and Clara prayed to God that it wasn't about what she had told her friends last night.

"Hey," she greeted Amy warily, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at home, tending to your hangover?"

"I just wanted to see if you got home alright," Amy replied. She looked way too happy for the amount of tequila they had both consumed the night before.

Alex exchanged looks with both of them. "So the second plate was Martha's. I'd have thought it was you, Amy."

"What?" Amy asked in confusion, "No, Martha and I went home together. Clara was just gone from the club all of a sudden. We were worried."

"I called you on my way home," Clara said and went over to the counter, busying herself with the coffee maker, "I told you I was fine."

"If you went home alone," Alex began and Clara hoped he wouldn't finish his question, "Then why were there two cups and plates?"

It seemed as if she was out of luck today.

"How did you get home so quickly anyway? We waited almost two hours for our taxi because of some event in the city."

"Because I didn't call a taxi, I called John," she said, trying to sound matter-of-factly as she grabbed her mug and went to sit on the table next to them.

"John?" Alex asked immediately, "Our neighbour John? Why on earth would you call him?"

Clara took a sip from her coffee, stalling. She had never told Alex anything about John at all. Amy seemed to have sensed her tension because she was slowly rising from her chair.

"I think I better get going," she said, "Rory will be home soon. He forgot his keys. Don't want to make him wait in front of the house."

As soon as her friend had left however, Alex' attention was immediately back on the last question.

"So, want to explain to me why you called our neighbour to pick you up from a night out with your friends?" he asked, the tone of his voice sharp, but not angry. He seemed curious more than anything.

"Because John and I are friends," Clara said simply.

"Since when?"

"I guess since the beginning. He's really nice. He went with me to the dance lesson on Monday, I actually learned a few things," she explained, sipping her coffee.

Alex wrinkled his forehead. "You took him? Why? I thought you'd take Amy or Martha or anyone, I didn't think you'd take our middle aged neighbour."

"I took him because he can actually dance. And I told you – we are friends."

"Should I be worried?" he asked out of the blue and Clara only snorted in reply, "Don't you tell me that's a silly question. You're obviously spending quite some time with another man and you never told me about that. I have the right to ask."

He actually had. And maybe he should actually be worried. But Clara wasn't going to tell him that, not after John had made it so very clear the previous night that there would never be anything between them.

"There is nothing to worry about," Clara reassured him, "Like I said, we're friends. That's it."

"May I say that I still think it's odd? What could you possibly have in common with him?"

Clara didn't know how to answer that one. Maybe it was because they both didn't really seem to fit in. John because he had spent 25 years in prison and was still recovering from that, and Clara because she was a free spirit, living a life of work and household things among married people who wanted nothing more than children and a nice front lawn.

"Maybe you should get to know him better," Clara suggested, "Spend some time with him."

Alex scoffed.

"Hey, you wanted to lay new bathroom tiles, right? John's pretty good with that sort of thing. I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping."

"Yeah," he sighed, "Maybe that's not such a bad idea. He did seem nice at the party."

"Oh, and before you accuse me of holding back information again. John had a job interview at my school this week. He's starting as caretaker in December."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "So you'll be neighbours, friends and colleagues?"

"Yes?" she said sheepishly.

He groaned. "I don't know, Clara. This just seems fishy to me. He moved here when? Two months ago? And suddenly he's your pal and working at your school? You know I'm not the jealous type, but this guy is getting a little too close to my girlfriend for my taste."

"I said you had nothing to worry about! Why won't you believe me?" Clara said angrily, raising her voice.

"You I believe. It's him I don't trust. You're a beautiful, young woman, he seems to be single. Can't blame me for being suspicious because I actually know how men are."

Clara jumped up from her chair. "Well, good. Then you know that he's gonna fuck me against the wall when I go over there now and get my phone, which I think I left in his car last night. Must have dropped it when he was eating me out."

"Clara-" he said, but she never heard the rest when she slammed the front door behind her.