Chapter 14

Time is passing by me in a haze. Each day is filled with training, eating, movies, or heading out to the beach. It becomes clear that Toby's rescue was only the second or third mission the team has ever had. It gets boring, and after a while everyone's nastier sides begin to show: we're going crazy, and it's all we can do to fight the boredom.

Kaldur and I often spend time together, battling against each other or just lounging in the grass outside, soaking up the summer sun while he sticks his feet in the ocean. Our conversations cover everything from cookies to the meaning of life, but one of our biggest battles is always the communication barrier. If he makes a joke and I have a comeback, it takes a moment to right it down, and by then the laugh is gone.

My feelings for him are growing every day. I know I shouldn't care for him the way I do, because we're just coworkers on a team, but all the same his voice makes my heart pound and his touch makes my pulse race. The worst part is, I have no idea if he feels the same way.

One of our conversations gave me hope, though. We were watching the clouds above the meadow as we lay in the grass, and suddenly Kaldur asked, "What do you think love is?"

I barely had an answer for him, but I wrote: Love is a battle. Both sides have to fight to accept it or conquer it…sometimes both. Often mistakes and treachery end in attacks with the strongest weapons- but if there are survivors, they find and support each other.

He nodded. "That makes sense." Shifting his gaze to my face, he looked straight at me and murmured, "Love is a mystery. It makes no sense when you're in it, but when you reach the end, you see every step you took along the way." He ran his fingers through a strand of my hair, gold in the sunlight, and closed his eyes as he rubbed the silky strands.

I had no words: the sun muddled my thoughts, blurring everything but the rush of emotion I felt at Kaldur's obvious trust in me…but if he loved me, I couldn't tell. It seemed like a romantic move, but then he started talking about battle techniques, and just like that we had gone back to our old rhythm. He drives me crazy and I make him feel like he has a friend.

Superboy's temper is growing worse and worse. He attacks everyone over the littlest things, like when dinner is a few minutes late or he thinks someone invaded his room when nobody even touched the door.

This morning, things were pushed off the edge.

"Who changed the channel?" Superboy yelled, his voice raging through the base. "It was on my wrestling when I left and it sure isn't anymore!" We all filed into the living room to see what the hell he was talking about, and sure enough, rainbow pony toys were dancing around onscreen.

He cast a fiery glare over us all. "Somebody better confess, or I'll smash you all into little pieces!"

Megs stepped forward. "Superboy, calm down! Nobody changed your channel, it's probably just a commercial!" He looked at her and shouted "Shut up!" before swinging his fist around at her, barely missing her head. Her eyes widened, shocked that he would attack her, and we all take a defensive stance.

"Leave Megan alone, Superboy. She has nothing to do with it. We are all your friends here. Don't do something you'll regreat," Kaldur says in a calm, steely tone. "Now lower your fists."

Superboy whirled around and looked straight at me. "She isn't," he muttered. "I bet she changed the channel on me."

Without warning, he rushed straight at me and attempted to drive his fist into my gut, but I leaped and used some wind to stay up there. He climbed after me, digging his fingers into the wall, and I raced out into the corridor and up outside the base. We were not having a war inside.

He burst through the ramp, and grass flew as he ripped it up with his feet, rocketing towards me at superhuman speed. The rest of the team chased after him, arriving just as I hit him with a water ball, blinding him so he missed his target.

"Keep him busy, Arrietty! We'll cool him down as soon as we can!" Artemis shouted across the meadow. I shot her a sarcastic look of thanks before leaping again as Superboy's fist smashed into the spot where I had just been.

Pulling up some seawater, I wrapped him tightly in a cyclone and pinned his arms to his sides. He struggled, but he couldn't escape the writhing, swirling bond of water. "Let me out! LET ME OUT!" he bellowed, his face red with fury.

Instead, I promptly walked up to my trapped victim and slapped him hard across the face.

He remained there, frozen, his face tilted to the side as a red mark spread across his already flaming cheek. Slowly, I backed up a few steps and released him, dropping the salt water onto the beach. I was wary of him and kept my distance, but he just stood there, as if in dumb shock.

I turned to my teammates, unsure of how to react, but all of them simply stood there, dumbstruck. From day one, it was important to keep Superboy quiet, and here I had slapped him with all my might.

After a moment, he glared at me and spat at my feet before walking back into the base, fists clenched.

That was my morning in a nutshell. I took off and went searching for Saterina and Paae, so now here I am at my friends' apartment. Knocking cautiously on the door, I look around for any signs that might give away that I have the right place, but nothing in the hallway or the WELCOME mat screams Faerie.

But when the door opens, I know my hunch was right: Paae's friendly face and burned hair appear before me. "Ari, what the fuck? Why are you here?" Instead of a response, all I can offer is me bursting into tears.

She pulls me into the apartment and shuts the door, wrapping me in a hug. "Come on Ari, what's wrong?" she asks quietly. All that come are tears, even though I want to be able to give her an answer, but even my thoughts are in turmoil.

Saterina walks in. "What's with her?" she asks, pointing to me. In my vision, her black and red form is blurred and eerie, and I pull away from her, momentarily terrified.

Finally, I choke out a garbled response in my head, unsure of how to word it. I think I'm in love with Kaldur and Superboy is trying to kill me and I can't speak to anybody and it's driving me crazy! I can't stand it anymore! I'm such a total mess! On top of that, Corinthes kidnapped Toby and I have no idea if my family is even safe, because they obviously weren't a couple months ago!

Saterina slaps my face and shakes my shoulders hard. "GET A GRIP! Now!" I stick my tongue out at her and cease my tears, drying my face with a paper towel she hands me.

Paae pats the back of my hand. "You know what you need? You need a distraction. Cantir's ceremony is this weekend- we're leaving Thursday night and will be back Monday morning. Would you like to come? It's basically watching the couples get married and then a three-day party! It'll be fun!"

Her friend agrees with her, nodding eagerly. "And honored guests perform for the rest of the kingdom! Like a live concert! You could get your voice back for a little while, if the Faerie Queen invites you to sing."

My voice…oh, how I want it. I want to end this whole stupid mess and find the voice and kill Hana and go home and maybe never see Aqualad or Superboy or the rest of the team ever again. Slowly, I nod, content to run for at least a few days. Smiling, they begin to fawn and plan while I head for the bathroom.

Staring at myself in the mirror, a reflection of Kaldur's eyes appears where my own should be, and I pound my fists against the counter. I can't get him out of my head! Everywhere I look, I see him, wish he was there to give thoughtful insight or make a witty remark. Every time we touch, I feel a rush of heat and my pulse races. Every time we face each other in battle, I sense his eyes on me, watching my thoughts, his battlesuit clinging to him as we exchange friendly banter.

Maybe I won't come back from the Faerie world. Maybe I'll just stay there and see if they come looking- and if he doesn't, I'll find my voice on my own.