Three years passed by after Shrek and Fionas first visit to far-away, three great years where the ogre couple came visiting the castle at all the high celebrations, which wasn't nearly as often as Harold and Lillian would have liked, but both regents knew their daughter was a grown woman now with a family on her own.
One evening Lillian was happily surprised as she by mistake came across Harolds drawer and to her surprise found several letters from Shrek, asking for advice in how to be a good husband to Fiona, from the stack it looked like Shrek and Harold had exchanged quite a lot of letters, and leaving it all the exact same way Lillian found it, she couldn't help but feeling light-hearted by the knowledge that Shrek had addressed all the letters. "To Dad." , every single one of them, and she re-called ones again how Harold had jokingly called Shrek son at their Christmas visit, only for Shrek to lighten up by the approval and thus Harold continued, it really was all coming together.
Now it was autumn ones again, the leaves had all been colored lovely orange, it had started to get cold and Lillian shivered lightly, she wasn't as young as she used to be, no matter how much Harold still sang her praise. Lillian rolled her eyes by the knowledge as she glanced at the sunset and sighed deeply, making rim-frost come out of her mouth looking like fog that escaped into the air and she smiled lightly, it was all so lovely, but suddenly also felt a little lonely standing out there all alone.
It didn't take long for Lillian to go to her and Harolds private chambers, at first she was a little disappointed not seeing him in the living room, which probably meant Harold was still working, but then Lillian got satisfaction as she peered into their bed-chamber, and was satisfied to see her frog laying on his pillow, sleeping after a long day of hard work, he really had seemed very tied lately Lillian noted, perhaps it was time for a break for him? He wasn't as young as he used to be, Lillian smiled warmly by the sight of him, all though suddenly the frog seemed to crumble together and started coughing.
Lillians brow furrowed as the frogs cough grew even louder, and startled Lillian ran to him as it for a moment seemed like Harold had trouble breathing.
"Harold?" Lillian asked concerned not knowing what to do.
Harold was fully awake now, awakened by his own cough, but that didn't make it stop at all, he still coughed. "I'm.. I'm fine." He assured. "Just.." he coughed one last time. "A little illness that's all." Harold assured weekly falling down on the pillow as if he were a limp rag-doll. "Must have over-worked myself." He excused in a slight apologizing smile.
Lillian held her breath. "You are sure that you are all-right?" she asked Harold nervously. "You don't need a."
"Lillian I'm fine." Harold assured cutting her off. "I just need a little sleep that's all, I promise." He send a smile at her, all though it looked very weak and tired.
Lillian exhaled. "All-right." She at last stated. "But you promise to take it easy tomorrow." She lectured. "Until you are sure you are feeling well again." She lectured.
"Of cause." Harold nodded, and laid back on the pillow with closed eyes, looking beyond exhausted, and it couldn't have been more than two minutes, before he was completely fast a sleep.
"Dumb frog." Lillian muttered sitting down on the bed edge. "But oh well, he did promise me to take care of himself." She reminded herself, and if there was some-thing Lillian knew, it was that Harold had never ever broken a promise to her.
But the next day it suddenly seemed so obvious, Harold didn't look well, he put up a good show, but his energy seemed to be lacking, so did his appetite, just every-thing.
The next day seemed even worse, and the day after that. Harold of cause kept assuring that he was fine, that he didn't need any special help, only to almost drop of the table he was sitting at. Weeks passed by like that, and slowly it just became more and more obvious, until finally on a late Autumn night, the two were laying in their bed, Lillian with a book, Harold all-ready almost a sleep, as it always seemed to be like these days.
"Harold, you got to go to the court physician." Lillian suddenly snapped as she closed her book. "You are not well."
"I told you I am fine." Harold insisted only to receive a scolding look from his queen. "Lillian, really I'm."
"Don't lie to me Harold frog." Lillian returned in a stern voice. "It's a habit that doesn't suit you."
Stunned Harold silenced and looked at her, for a moment he sat in silence, then sighed as she shook his head. "Is it that obvious?" he asked.
Lillian nodded. "Now would you please just go to the court physician?" she asked.
Harold sighed. "All-right Lillian." He told her sincerely. "First thing in the morning, I promise." He stated. "But honestly, there's nothing to worry about."
"Well?" Was Lillian first question at noon the next day as she managed to catch Harold in the corridor, him hoping on the floor… very very slowly, having to take breaks between each hope, which seriously wasn't like him.
"It's as I said, I'm just a little tired and there's nothing more to it." Harold replied trying to avert his eyes away from Lillian.
"Did you really go to the physican?" Lillian asked placing her hands on her hips.
"Of cause I did." Harold proclaimed. "You would have found out about it if I didn't, I know that much." He rolled his eyes.
"All-right then." Lillian exhaled. "I just wanted to be sure." She shook her head and then bowed down to pick up her husband. "You really shouldn't be hoping around like this if you are that tired." She reminded him a little sternly. "And don't you dare go to work now." She lectured him.
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Harold asked looking up at Lillian looking just a little bit confused.
Lillian shook her head. "Remember when we were young?" she asked. "When we were so tired you had to work all day that some-times you would go out of your way to sneak away from classes, just to spend time with me?"
"Of cause I do." Harold blinked. "Erh.." he looked a little flustered at her. "Would you escort me to the lily pond?" he then finally asked sounding just a little awkward.
"Glad you asked." Lillian sniffed making Harold tense a bit. "Oh relax." She finally stated as she put Harold on her shoulder. "We've been married for thirty-six years! This isn't new territory for you."
"No I suppose not." Harold admitted almost falling down on her shoulder, as if he couldn't stand up any-longer. "And then there were the year of engagement before we even got married." He remembered. "So well, technically we've been together for thirty-seven years." He corrected Lillian.
"Thirty-eight." Lillian counter argued. "There was the year before you even became a prince and we spend every day together."
"Ah, to be young again." Harold sighed as Lillian sat down on the Lily pond railing. "Wouldn't it be wonderful Lillian?" he asked as he was sat down on a branch a little above Lillian so she wouldn't have to look down at him and he didn't have to look down at her. "To do it all over again?"
"Ones was quite enough dear." Lillian dryly laughed. "I'm quite happy with the position I am in right now." She stated honestly.
"Yes yes, so am I." Harold assured. "But, it wouldn't be to terrible with a re-visit, would it?" He asked. "have another game with Fiona while she was five hm? Give her a children's birthday?" he suggested. "Running around corners with the guards trying to escape our duties." He laughed to himself. "Have the very first true loves kiss again." He sighed deeply laying down on that branch looking dreamingly at Lillian. "Falling in love with you all over again, wouldn't it be magnificent?" he asked.
Lillian laughed amused at Harold. "Where does all of this come from?" she asked. "you were never a sentimental type before." She amused pointed out.
"I guess I am getting old." Harold laughed dryly, all-though suddenly, that laugh turned into a cough, and then an even bigger cough.
"Harold!" Lillian exclaimed.
"No no, I'm fine! I'm just!" But Harold couldn't even speak any longer as his own cough cut him off. "I'm.." he looked at Lillian looking sickly pale, and then all of a sudden, he passed out, the whites turning out of his eyes as he fell over.
"HAROLD!" Lillian exclaimed as she dug forward and just managed to capture him as he fell down from the branch. "HAROLD!" frightened Lillian hold the passed out frog in her hands. "Harold please wake up!" she begged. "Please be all-right!" she begged.
Harolds eyes fluttered. "Li.." he trited to say.
"I'm here Harold!" Lillian exclaimed. "What do you need? Please just tell me! Water?.. a blanket? Please just tell me!"
Suddenly his eyes slowly opened and though he didn't seemed entirely lucid he was looking at her as his mouth formed one single word. "You." And then he passed out again.
"Me? Harold, what am I supposed to do?" she asked hopeslessly. "I'll get you to bed at least." She promised hurrying towards the castle door.
Lillian ran to the castle, as she hadn't done in twenty years, and passed the guards. "CALL FOR THE COURTY PHYSICIAN!" She managed to demand in a high sharp voice, before hurried up the stairs to the chambers and into their bed-room where she carefully placed the frog on his pillow. "Please be okay, please be okay." She begged. "Harold, can you hear me?" she asked. "If you can hear me." she tried not to make it to evident that her voice was broken. "Wake up! Don't dare to lay there like that! I am asking you to wake up so wake up darn it!" she demanded only to suddenly realize how childish she sounded, way to childish for her own age, it was merely that. Harold had always done what-ever she asked of him, ever without any question.
The door opened and in came the court physician, a younger man since their last one had left to go on a pension a few years ago. "Thank goodness you came." Lillian exhaled raising up. "You know what's wrong with him don't you?" she asked the physician. "He wouldn't tell me, but you know."
"Well I." The physician swallowed. "Yes.. I do know that." He tried. "But the king demanded me to keep it a secret, and well not only is he king, but you know my queen, doctors confidential."
"well it's hardly as secret now is it?" Lillian asked annoyed. "I mean look at him! Just tell me, what is it and how can we make him get better?" she asked in a angry voice.
"Lillian.." a weak voice sounded from the pillow.
"Harold!" Lillian turned around and hurried to the bed where she dropped on her knees. "Harold you sod!" she frustrated cursed at him. "What did you do that for?" she asked.
"What, faint?" Harold asked.
"Yes, that and." Lillian tried to find words. "Why wont you just let the physician look at you now that he is here any-way."
Harold sighed deeply. "He has looked at me." He finally said.
"Harold please." Lillian tried.
"No listen Lillian, he has been looking at me regularly for a.. for a while." Harold at last confessed.
"What?" Lillian asked. "But why did you then.. run about."
Harold sighed, and glanced shortly at the physician. "Please leave us." He asked. "I need to speak with my wife."
The court physician nodded slightly and quietly left.
"Why would you do that?" Lillian asked still sounded annoyed.
"Lillian, I have not seen you this cranky since you were pregnant." Harold pointed out, only scorning Lillian a little bit more.
"Why on earth have you kept on going like this?" she finally asked in a annoyed his. "Harold why would you do that?" Lillian asked. "if you knew all along that you are ill! honestly, what were you thinking?" she asked.
"I just wanted to keep it going while there was still time." Harold closed his eyes. "I didn't want you to worry."
"Still time?" Lillian asked in a frown. "Harold, what do you mean by that?" she asked. "There's plenty of time."
Harold shook his head. "No, not any-more." He stated.
"You'll get better." Lillian assured. "It's only a little bit of illness."
Harold shook his head. "No Lillian I wont." He tried to tell her. "Because there's really nothing wrong with me." He told looking directly at her meeting her eyes. "I'm just very very old." He told her.
Lillian shook her head. "No you're not, you're not that old." she told Harold.
"For a human, no I was not that old." Harold told Lillian. "But for a frog, I'm ancient, we frogs are not meant to life this long." He told her.
First then did Lillian seem to realize, and she fell down on her knees in front of the bed looking at him. "No you can't mean that." She asked of him. "Your sister.. she's fine right? She's as old as you are."
"She died three years ago." Harold told Lillian. "Right after Fiona and Shrek went home after that dread-full Fairy god-mother business."
"Oh god." Lillian covered her mouth. "Why didn't you say any-thing?" she asked.
"I didn't want to worry you." Harold told honestly. "Hilda, she was very old and had lived a very full life for a frog, in fact she was unreasonable old for a frog, and all the other frogs marveled she even managed to go on for that long, they are even speculating if she's the oldest frog whom ever lived in the pond... I knew then that." He took a breath. "I didn't have that much time left either, so I wanted to make the best of it, without having us acting different than we used to, so we could enjoy ourselves."
Lillian shook her head. "Don't talk like that. Harold, we can find a way." She assured.
"I'm the age I am." Harold told her.
"We could find a way to make you human again, you are not that old for a human." Lillian tried.
"For what?" Harold asked. "Last time it ended up in some really bad deals, but we were young and had our lifes ahead of us, so it was worth it, and I got a long great human life, now though I am old regardless, I all-ready had my happily ever after." He told softly looking at Lillian, whom only looking pleadingly back at him, asking him with her eyes to do it. "I did look into it.. a bit." Harold admitted then. "But I never saw a point. Believe me, the one thing I hate most about this, is leaving you behind Lillian." Harold looked sadly at his Queen. "Fiona will be fine, she has a good husband, but you? You never liked sleeping in a big empty bed." He tried to whisk away a tear. "I'm sorry."
"Wouldn't you want to give it a try and become human again?" Lillian asked. "It'll give us time."
"If it was as easy as that Lillian, of cause I would." Harold tried to tell her. "But I don't know how much time I have left, and.. Lillian." He clearly tried not to cry, but didn't succeed as his voice broke. "I know you'll be sad, and believe me, I never wanted to make you sad! That's the last thing I want. So please forgive me that I'll much rather spend this time with you, than searching for some magician powerful enough to do it, that we may or may not find in time. Just to maybe, if we I was being very lucky, postpone some-thing that happens to all of us."
That did it for Lillian as well as she broke together and started crying, picking up her husband as she held him close to her chest. "Of cause Harold." She told him. "What-ever you want."
"I don't.." Harold started but Lillian shushed him.
"Listen dear." She whispered as she held him. "We've been married for a very long time, and I just first now realized.. this is the first time you ever asked me any-thing, or didn't just go ahead doing what I wanted.." Lillian told. "And Harold, I want to do some-thing for you to, I want to do what you want now. It's always been you changing and turning, doing all that you could to please me." She told. "Please, this one time, let me do the thing you want, please." She asked.
Harold exhaled. "To be honest, I don't want much.. I just wants things to be as they have been these past three years." He told.
"Surely there must be some-thing you want." Lillian asked sitting down with the frog in her lap, holding a hand over him. "Please, I really want to do some-thing."
"Well I.." Harold murmered thoughtfully. "I would very much like to see Fiona and Shrek one last time." He admitted.
"Of cause you do, I'll send for them right away." Lillian told. "But.. that can't be all can it? Isn't there some-thing, I'll just feel so useless."
Harold sighed, looking just slightly guilty as his eyes averted Lillians.
"Please, name it." Lillian.
"I erh.." Harold hesitated sounding a little embarrassed.
"What?" Lillian asked.
"Urh, I would really like to." Harold looked down. "I would really like to spend another night out in the open." He finally told.
"Out in the open?" Lillian asked. "Are you sure that, I mean in your condition.." she asked.
"I miss to sleep on a soft lily petal." Harold admitted. "To feel the water flowing under it and feel the wind brushing in the trees, to look up and see the stars."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lillian asked.
Harold shrugged. "Human royalty aren't supposed to sleep by ponds are they?" he asked. "I admit. I used to have this dream, that I would be sleeping back at the pond, out in the open, only you were there with me. And we could both see the stars right above us."
"You should have told me sooner." Lillian told in a slight shake with her head. "When we were both young would have been a really great time."
"I was young and stupid." Harold told in a slight apologizing shrug.
"Then lets go out an do it." Lillian told.
"But Lillian, you sleeping outside? What would people think?" Harold asked in a blink.
"To hell with what people think!" Lillian stated annoyed. "Maybe this is what I want." She suggested.
Harold exhaled shaking his head. "You always did get what you wanted in the end." He commented.
Then in the night, a madras had been pulled out beside the Lily pond for Lillian to lay it, Harold rested on a lily flower as he used to, where Lillian could see him.. he looked peaceful there she thought. "Remember that gala?" Harold asked. "I often wondered what you saw, when I stood there." Harold admitted.
"Honestly, I just felt really sorry for you." Lillian told in a shake of her head. "You looked so awkward while all those big princess were pushing you around, it looked like you barely knew how to stand up as it was."
"I didn't." Harold admitted. "Had only been needing to stand on two legs for a couple of hours at that point."
"It showed." Lillian laughed.
"Come on, you didn't invite me with you for the next day just because you felt sorry for me, did you?" Harold asked. "please say you didn't." he asked in a grimace.
"Well.. okay it was a mixture, that and the fact I promised my father to take just one person and that, I did enjoy your company." Lillian told. "You don't think I would ever actually marry a person just because I felt sorry for him?" she asked.
"Njah, you are way to smart for that." Harold shook his head.
"I do remember when I realized I had fallen in love though." Lillian told in a small sigh. "the exact moment actually."
"Oh?" Harold asked in a slightly lifted eye-brow.
"When you pulled me up from that cliff." Lillian told. "I saw you struggle so much, just a little frog with a golden crown on his head, and I realized my frog and that kind prince was the same person." She sighed deeply closing her eyes. "When I realized that fact, I also realized how much I cared and that I didn't wanted to.. well go one without at least telling what I felt." She sighed opening her eyes.
"I have no idea when I first really felt in love with you." Harold admitted. "I saw you beating up that prince Gerald real good, because he had taken you ball. And I thought it was such a shame you came alone so often, then I couldn't help myself but notice every time you came, down here to the pond." Harold told softly. "Then you saved my life, remember?" he asked and Lillian nodded. "And I just couldn't help it, I just had to help you when-ever I could.. Hilda knew I had fallen in love way before I did." Harold admitted. "It was first when you told me you had to pick a prince soon I realized that.. I could not let that happen without at least trying to do some-thing."
"I always did wonder what made you take such rash actions." Lillian admitted as she looked up. "Wauw, it really is beautiful out here." She stated glancing at the shining stars.
"only frogs and critters have such a lovely night-view." Harold commented. "See, Orion." He pointed. "Just where it always were, haven't moved a bit."
"That one?" Lillian asked as she pointed. "It's pretty." She closed her eyes and breathed in. "And the air.." she breathed. "Lovely."
"Remember our wedding?" Harold asked laying on his side looking at Lillian.
"Of cause I do." Lillian smiled lightly.
"what a disaster." Harold chuckled.
"It was only almost a disaster." Lillian pointed out.
Harold laughed. "I still remember Prince Geralds face, do you remember?" he asked.
Lillian laughed out loud. "What was it he said?" she asked. "It's a frog, a frog I tell you!" she imitated the princes's yell. "You are making a frog future king!"
"And every-body looked at him as if he was crazy." Harold laughed whole-heartedly. "He did look like a mad-man." He shook his head.
"Poor Gerald." Lillian shook her head.
"What-ever did happen to him?" Harold asked.
"You are never going to believe it." Lillian whispered. "He felt madly in love with a goose-girl and took her with him to his own kingdom to make her princess."
"No, that's impossible." Harold frowned his brows. "A goose-girl? Really?" he asked. "Well, maybe she made him a better person that way."
"They all say that she did." Lillian amused shook her head. "And that they are still busy living happily ever after." She told in a smirk. "Can I ask you some-thing?" she asked Harold.
"Any-thing." Harold blinked.
"What." Amused Lillian looked up in the air. "Was your favorite thing about being human, and what did you miss most about being a frog?" she asked.
"My favorite thing?" Harold asked. "Well.. I came to like tea, a lot." He told. "I enjoyed horse riding, and I liked seeing all these amazing things, it was a pleasure to meet so many people and to be able to do so many good things. I loved being a father, it was the greatest feeling I ever had, but." He glanced at Lillian. "The best thing were having you there for all of that."
"Oh Harold." Lillian shook her head. "Flatterer." She cheated him. "What did you miss the most then?" she asked.
"This." Harold simply answered.
"Harold you are impossible." Lillian stated.
"Honestly I didn't really miss any-thing that much." Harold told honestly. "some-times, on very few occasions, yes I admit, I could miss the freedom and bit, but then every-thing else was so good I couldn't imagine what I had been thinking.. of cause there's the part of my life where I entirely forgot all about ever having been a frog, then Fiona was all I could ever think about, then there wasn't room for missing any-thing at all." He shook his head. "What were your favorite thing?" he then finally asked Lillian.
"Favorite thing? I am not sure what you mean.. no wait, I think I do." Lillian smiled to herself. "My favorite thing was knowing I never ever had to be alone about any-thing, ever again, I could share it all, with some-one I loved." She smirked. "The good and bad." She remarked as an after-thought.
Harold didn't ask about Lillians least favorite thing, instead they kept on talking and remembering like that, laughed, felt sad, then felt happy again, looked at the stars.. they even viewed the sun-rise together… but a few days after that, the clouds had grown darker, Harold had asked to stay in his lily petal, it was there he really belonged, he had told Lillian, it was where he had come from, and it was where he was supposed to go to again by the end.
The night of Harolds funeral, Lillian truly and honestly did not want to go to bed, in the massive big empty bed in her bed-chamber.
She was a strong and indpendet woman, as Harold had liked to call it, but she had never liked being alone in her bed, Harold had been right about that to. She could only keep Fiona and Shrek up for that long as they sat together in the drawing room having a bit of wine.
After the couple had gone to bed, Lillian still tried to avoid her own bed, she went outside and walked towards the lily pond, but found she couldn't really go there either.
The empty castle hall-ways just seemed that much bigger and.. emptier than usual, quieter, at last Lillian found that she had no choice but enter her own.. dark.. empty and very very big bed chamber.
Lillian took a deep breath as she stepped in there, and tried not to cry, it was surprisingly difficult to get into a night-gown, and her blankets felt cold as she laid down under them, some-how the void right beside her just felt that much deeper, and for a minor second, Lillian got angry, really angry at Harold for leaving her like that!
She turned on her side, and was suddenly faced with his pillow, that red silk pillow he had been sleeping on these past three years where he had been a frog, angrily Lillian reached for it intending to throw it away from her, but yet as she had grabbed it, she found that she couldn't, instead she hugged the pillow close and took a deep breath, the pillow still smelled like him, like fresh water, leafs and lily petals, Lillian found herself cradle the pillow and look to where it had laid, only to discover a piece of paper apparently having laid under the pillow, rolled neatly together, holding her breath Lillian reached for the little paper, she let go of the pillow as she fumbled after her night light and her reading glasses until at last there was light enough so she could read with her reading glasses on her nose, then hesitated.. perhaps this was some-thing private Harold hadn't managed to get rid off in time! Maybe she should hurry and throw it away as to not disgrace her memories of him, but yet she ended up reading the first line any-way.
Dearest Lillian
Lillian took in a sharp breath, addressed to her! From Harold to her, at ones she read further.
As you find this, I should expect, I have passed on, and you are spending the night alone, which saddens me, the last thing I want is to see you being un-happy, so dry off that tear Lillian, and remember one of the more silly dumb things I did, I am but a funny little frog you know.
I don't believe there is any-thing left to tell I didn't all-ready tell you in person, at least I did my best to do it, for I always thought you ought to be told and ought to know.
Yet, there is no harm in saying it just one more time, even if I am just repeating myself.
I love you Lillian, with all of my heart.
You have made my life full, and you've made my life better than any other frogs, happier than any-one I know.
Without you, I would just have remained a frog in a pond, never knowing true frustration, want, sadness, happiness, and yes Lillian, love. Only because of you could my life be this full, so full that I can barely contain it.
You may be angry at me, for not fighting for more time. But the thing is Lillian, I have nothing to fix, and I know, you'll be okay, you were always perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, making all the right decisions, standing up for yourself, not taking any of it when you know it's wrong, you were always extremely clever that way, and very strong.
I wish for you, to go out and enjoy life, as good as you can, every-day a new adventure, that is how it was for me, you truly made it like that.
Thank you for all the adventures, for all the happiness and all the love.
Now go out and spread some more of all of that, as you do best.
For-ever yours, love, your funny little frog, Harold.
Wiping away her tears Lillian read the letter again, and a third time even a fourth time before she laid down on her back, still crying but yet some-how also smiling, she turned off the light and carefully put both paper and pillow back in place, and as she closed her eyes, it was like Harold was still there, like some of him was left behind, and that part of him was never going to leave her, not ever. For her frog, would always come when she called, she knew that, he had never really let her down and never really would he, even when he was being dumb, he had always prevailed in the end, without a doubt or question, he would be there.