Disclaimer: I don't own a thing! *sobs*
A/N:Well now we're reaching a climax... Don't shoot me/maim me/ hate me!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- This Time Won't You Save Me? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Penelope knew something wasn't right when she woke up with violent shakes and shivers, of course she was alone and she just tried her hardest to believe that this was all mind over matter. That she could just fall back to sleep and wake up and it be a new day with a new outlook.
She turned onto her back and gripped her head at the pain that hadn't even left her since she fell asleep, if anything it'd worsened more. She knew full well something wasn't normal right now and she couldn't for the life her scream for help; just from the fear of erupting more pain, so she turned to the edge of the bed and slowly got up.
Penelope quickly grabbed the bedpost for support but it wasn't long before her legs gave way and she fell to the floor with a loud thud.
She just lay on the cool floor, crying, praying that somehow Derek had heard her fall.
To say the least, she was terrified and the last thing she wanted was to be alone. She then began to panic about being alone at home, if during the night she woke up feeling this ill, or vomiting more times than she could count, then no one would be there for her to turn to, no one would be there to comfort her or to help her.
Derek hadn't been truly asleep, just laying staying at the ceiling, knowing full well that Penelope was on the bed just above him.
He knew he was a jerk, he was asshole to Penelope, she deserved better than what he had said, he didn't need separation, he just needed her but he wasn't going to have her because in reality, Penelope was dying and that was it.
There wasn't a miracle cure, or a miraculous recovery. It was the medically given facts and reality.
He needed some way to make it up to her, some reason for him to just grasp her attention and tell her he was sorry, tell her that he didn't mean it, that he was here, all in for her.
He just didn't count on hearing a bang and then watching Clooney run up the stairs. It didn't take him long to follow, no one else was in the house; it was just him, Penelope and the dog. He knew Penelope needed him now.
He ran to the doorway and found Clooney laying with Penelope, she looked so lifeless laying there, if it wasn't for her crying and pleads he would've thought the worst.
"Help me," she sobbed as her eyes met his, "please, Derek. My head..." She groaned as her hands went to it in a bid to stop the pain.
He didn't wait, he ran in and got on the floor and grabbed her hand, immediately feeling her shaking, he ran a hand over her face, moving her hair and catching the tears, he felt the beads of sweat on her forehead and he only worried more.
"I'm scared," Penelope whimpered and closed her eyes as she cried harder, "I don't want to die like this, please Derek, help me."
"Shh, I'm going to call for an ambulance, you're going to be okay." He went to leave but Penelope's hand fastened around his and she wouldn't let go, "Baby Girl, I need to go."
"I don't regret any of it, Derek, not one bit; I never want to regret telling you I love."
Derek's vision blurred at her desperation and he just picked her up and put her on the bed, he needed her comfortable until he got her the help she needed right now.
"Neither did I, I'm just hurting over this and I don't find it easy to express it, so I don't and I just get angry and shut off." He said and kissed her gently, he saw her phone and grabbed it, he really didn't want to leave her right now, not for anything or anyone. "I felt a huge weight lift off me the day I told you and I will forever remember it, it'll always been in my heart, like you will be."
Penelope heard his tone, it was different, he was now accepting and she closed her eyes to not just ease the headache but to stop the torrent of tears.
"I don't want to die," she sobbed again, "I don't want to be buried or cremated, I just want to live." She looked up at him as he watched her, "I want to live with you and be Mrs Morgan. I'm so scared." She whispered with such conviction Derek's entire world shook worse than it ever had.
"You're not dying, not yet, it's not happening." He said and rang 911 impatiently, he hated to see Penelope this distraught and in pain, he wanted it to end. He wanted her to live whatever time she had left with them painlessly and happily and he now saw that.
It was just as he held her hand in his that he prayed it wasn't too late.
The time between putting the phone down and getting an ambulance to them was the most gruelling part, he had no idea what to do but sit with her. He realised he needed to be ready to go, he was not leaving her and he knew the others needed to know so he rang Kevin and Hotch and then took Penelope downstairs and laid her on the couch.
"We're going to get you better." He told her soothingly as he saw the lights flashing outside his house, he jumped up and opened the door and let the paramedics in, telling them the situation, telling them about her condition and let them get to work helping her.
His panic only exploded when he watched them work over her, asking her questions and then told him they needed to get her to the hospital.
Derek knew that if this was it, if their time was up, without any denial, he would not survive the rest of the night.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- This Time Won't You Save Me? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
He watched her sleep peacefully, he was waiting on the doctor to come back with some sort of development or new prognosis for them, Kevin was out in the waiting room with Hotch and he knew they needed to be kept up to date with everything but a part of him couldn't leave the spot.
He and Penelope had spoken with one another, she'd admitted she'd been suffering for a couple of days but until she'd sussed him out, she wasn't prepared to tell him, but now winding up in hospital she knew he needed the truth.
He admitted right back that he was panicking and breaking and he knew he needed help but he didn't want her stressed anymore. Ironically not telling her seemed to be the biggest stressor she could have been given.
"I'm not dealing," He'd finally allowed himself the vulnerability to let her know, "You accepting this scared me and you actually made it believable, I just don't want you to be like that. I want you to give in and be what you need to be, because then I can be what I need to be and give you the best."
"Just be you and I'll be fine," she finally told him as the medication she was given began to make work on calming her into a sleep.
Now it's been hours since then and Derek looked to the door and back and Penelope, he remembered what she had asked him, he needed to tell Hotch something, so he stood up and kissed her and headed out and down to the waiting room.
"Derek!" Kevin said jumping up, his tiredness forgotten, eagerness set in, "is she okay?"
Derek nodded a little, "Erm, Hotch, Pen asked for that favour to be done, she didn't tell me what it was, just that you'd know."
Hotch nodded, "Tell her it's done, but how is she?"
"Honestly?" He asked, "I don't know, she's been feeling unwell and she got out of bed and just collapsed, shaking was worse and I'm guessing her headache was just too much. The doctor's taken bloods, she's had some more scans done and he's given her a dose of morphine to help with the pain, she's just sleeping it all off."
"Did the doctor give any indication?" Kevin asked almost fearful of the answer.
Derek's look was solemn, "it could be signs she's deteriorating faster than we want to know." Derek ran his hands over his head, "we had a massive argument last night, I've been a jerk to her, she's been suffering and didn't tell me. How could I do that to her when I said I'd stick by her?"
"It happens Derek; you just have to stick in there now." Hotch sympathised.
"I don't know how much I can cope with. I'm holding her in my arms, loving her even though I know she's going to die." He looked at Hotch with desperation, "I don't know if I can do that anymore."
"Derek, no one else is going to do a better job." Kevin confided with a sad smile, not liking this predicament they were now in.
Hotch stepped in as he saw the doctor coming up behind Derek, "she's going to need you more than ever now." He then got Derek to look at the doctor.
"Whatever happens right?" He asked rhetorically, drew in a breath and followed the older man.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- This Time Won't You Save Me? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A/N: What's wrong with Pen hey?
Madness will be released next chapter!