Chapter 14

Jane sat on her sofa hugging her knees close to her chest. The door beeped but she didn't respond. Whoever it was could wait. After a minute the door opened and she whipped her head around quickly, her ponytail swinging, to see who it was. Garrus walked in with two trays of food in hand. He put one down in front of her before sitting next to her.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't break in here unless it was an emergency." She muttered into her knees, speaking once again in Turian with her translator offline, her sub-harmonics laced with hurt.

"This counts. You used more biotics than usual today, dealing with those husks. Normally you'd be finished your third litre of pop and downing your fifth 'hotdog' or whatever other fried monstrosity you levos eat."

"Yeah well, that was pre-reboot." He put his hand on hers and she realised he wasn't wearing his gloves. She wasn't really surprised by how much she liked the feel of his skin on hers but it took all of her effort to stop her sub-harmonics from trilling in response to his touch. He was her only friend in this goddamn galaxy and she wasn't about to screw it up.

"No, that was last mission. Eat." Jane didn't feel quite up to solid food yet so she grabbed the bottle of red-orange pop instead. Garrus just nodded but she knew what he meant. 'Fine for now but I'll press again if you don't eat soon.' His concern made her smile for the first time since seeing Kaidan again.

"I wanted to apologise for yesterday. You're right, I can't get huffy when you make command decisions that put you in danger because that's every other day. I just don't want to lose you again." He admitted, his sub-harmonics telling her that he was, indeed, sorry.

"I know, Garrus. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have bitten your head off like that." She sighed, still keeping her knees clutched to her chest.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're so upset?" She sighed again, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"I just... it's difficult to grasp that two years have gone by. I was dead. It's... I'm not sure I can ever get my head around it. I've read the Project Lazarus files and I understand the science but there are those moments when it clicks and I think that was me. It's more than a little unnerving. And I can't help but wonder if Kaidan was right. Am I doing the right thing? I know Anderson can't help and the Council are being... stubborn-" 'Are talking out their asses' he substituted for her, knowing that she was doing that thing where she believed that no one was at fault but her. "-as usual but Cerberus? Is there no other alternative?" Garrus tightened his grip on her hand as she stared at him, eyes hollow from self-blame. He knew that it had been bothering her anyway but Alenko had managed to rub salt in the wound and brought her to the point at which she doubted herself.

"Jane, Kaidan's an ass." She looked as if she was about to interrupt but his sub-harmonics told her that he wasn't finished so she kept quiet. "The Collectors need to be stopped. Thousands of lives depend on it. And no other option gives the same odds of success as Cerberus. If the Alliance or the Council had stepped up you would have sold Cerberus out to them in a second but they didn't. They left you no choice, no matter what Alenko says." She smiled at that, pulling her legs under her and reaching for her food. How was it that he always knew what to say?

"Thanks. I guess it was just weird... Kaidan's puppy dog eyes were a constant on the SR1. No matter what happened I could rely on him to try and flirt with me, but now? I guess it's just another reminder of the two years that have passed. Everyone's changed or moved on and I'm still the same." Garrus's eyes locked onto hers and his sub-harmonics trilled in a comforting way.

"Alenko's an ass and you don't need him." He repeated. "There are still those of us who care about you. Hey, I'm still here." She smiled, her sub-harmonics trilling sadly.

"I know you are Garrus but... even you've changed. Grown up. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but... dammit, I should have been there. I left you alone for two years Garrus. How can you not hate me for that?" She worked hard to keep her tears from falling, humming gently under her breath to regulate her breathing. Garrus didn't mind, it was a trick she'd used quite a few times in his presence and he was used to it.

"It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault, except the Collectors but I didn't know that at the time. I was angry at first when I heard that you'd died but it quickly became clear that no one was at fault. I remembered what you had said to me one day on the SR1, about how people always tell you that things could be worse and how you always point out that actually they couldn't but they also couldn't be better. Situations are what they are and you can't change them, but you can accept them and deal with them. You didn't choose to leave me alone, Jane. It was just something that happened, so I don't blame you for it. Not one bit." She smiled again, her sub-harmonics taking on a different tone before quieting all together. He'd noticed her exercising more control over them since the day before when she'd said they were malfunctioning and it had almost sounded like she- No, he wouldn't think along those lines. She needed him right now as a friend, nothing more.

"See, you have grown up." She joked, smiling. "Does this mean you're older than me? Do the two years I was dead count in terms of age?"

"I think it's the number of years from birth to now." But she shook her head.

"No, I'm definitely not any older. Yeah, I'm still twenty nine." He shook his head.

"You just don't want to hit the thirty mark." She laughed in response.

"So sue me. Actually, that gives me an idea. When I die for good all of my stuff like my tombstone has to have written on it 2154-2183 and 2185- whenever I die. Hopefully many years from now. But just think, in a few hundred years when no one remembers me any more people will see my tombstone and wonder why the hell there was a two year gap." Garrus laughed.

"That's going to be your legacy? Not defeating the Reapers or anything but a strange curiosity in a graveyard." She nodded.

"Yeah. That's much cooler." They laughed as they finished their dinner.

"So, you don't really talk about the two years I was dead, which I get, I really do, but I can't help but be curious about what I missed." He nodded in understanding. He hadn't really been paying attention to things outside of Omega those two years and he too felt like he had some catching up to do.

"Well, what do you want to know?" She thought for a few moments trying to figure out what she would have paid attention to in those two years. She had already caught up with any technological advancements and any major news stories had boiled down to the Geth threat being dealt with and whether or not she was crazy.

"Any good vids been released?" She finally asked. In truth, not much had happened in those two years that she needed to be caught up on except what had happened to those she cared about. She'd received a message from her mom but she couldn't risk replying while Cerberus was watching her every action. She suspected that the message was sent on behalf of the rest of her family and she couldn't send messages to them either. Wrex was busy on Tuchanka, Tali was busy with the Migrant Fleet, Liara was apparently working for the Shadow Broker of all people and Garrus... she knew what had happened to him. He hadn't told her everything but she could piece it together, especially now she could read his sub-harmonics. Or, at least, most of them. She didn't know how to help him deal with his hurt but she did know one thing; a bullet in Sidonis wasn't going to help.

Garrus must have realised what was weighing on her but he didn't have to words to make it better so he instead answered her question.

"Not really. You've already seen Fleet and Flotilla and that pretty much picked up every award last year. There was a new Blasto movie but, let's face it, that franchise died about three films back. There's a pretty good sit-com about a group of friends of all different species living on the Citadel."

"Yeah, I found a couple of episodes while I was flicking through the Extranet services. Although I found the forum fights to be more interesting."

"Forum fights?" She grinned a little.

"How often do you watch the show?" He shrugged.

"It's on the on-demand service pretty much constantly so I've probably seen every episode."

"You know how in the beginning of season 2 Lucy moved in with Jictus, the turian guy?" Garrus nodded, unsure of where she was going.

"Yeah. So what?" She rolled her eyes.

"So? That's a classic sit-com move, to have a male and female character share an apartment. Usually they end up hooking up but the audience has split in two. Half of them expect them to get together and the other half don't believe it'll happen on such a widely watched show. It's fascinating to watch people's reactions to it." She admitted as she began to drink her drink again. She almost choked halfway through it when she realised that she'd just spent the last five minutes talking about human-turian relationships with Garrus, even if it was just about a vid series.

"So, what camp do you fall in?" He asked, trying to remain nonchalant.

"I think they should get together. Screw the naysayers." She said as normally as she could, keeping her focus on her drink. "You?"

"Same. I mean, if asari-turian relationships and quarian-turian relationships can be shown in mainstream media then why not human-turian." He was clamping down hard on his sub-harmonics and was grateful when she changed subjects.

"So, is that really all that came out?" She asked, finally lifting her gaze.

"Pretty much. To be honest, most of the vids that came out for about a year after your death were about you."

"Me?" Her sub-harmonics chimed with disbelief.

"Yeah. There were quite a few documentaries about our fight with Saren and the Geth. There was one 'based on a true story' film about it but the old crew all agreed not to talk to any of the producers of any of them since we couldn't decide which you would want us to and which you wouldn't so it was pretty inaccurate." She raised an eyebrow.

"Aww, you all told them to fuck off? That's so sweet. Thank you." She hadn't figured that people would be interested enough in her to want vids but she was glad that they were inaccurate. She'd rather not have her life replayed for audiences.

"Well, all except one. Joker was contacted by the producers of a show that he knew you liked who wanted you to appear in a couple of episodes. He wasn't sure so he passed it on to me and, well, when I saw the episode pitch and what they were going to do with the character I answered their questions. I wouldn't have been able to do it face to face but I messaged back and forth with them quite a few times." She narrowed her eyes a little but she trusted him. She figured he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was what she wanted.

"So, what show was it?" He pulled it up on his omni-tool.

"Doctor Who. It was a two part episode called 'Cybermen on the Citadel'." She laughed at that.

"Really? I got to be in an episode of Doctor Who? Did they do a good job?" She was practically jumping up and down in her seat and he smiled with relief.

"Yeah. In fact, I couldn't watch more than the first few minutes because it..." He trailed off but his sub-harmonics told her what he had been about to say as they trilled with the memory of his pain.

"Well, I'm here now so let's stick it on. I can't wait to see. I haven't seen this show in a while, I think the last episode I watched was a really old one from just after the First Contact War where they pulled the whole 'alternate timeline' thing to explain replacing a lot of the alien 'friendlies' with real species. Didn't I hear before I died that he had an alien companion this series?" Garrus nodded as he set it up.

"Yeah, she's a drell." He said as he sat back with her, watching the opening credits. She was smiling and seemed happier now but he knew that those two years were weighing on the both of them and neither of them were quite sure how to deal with it. But this was a good start...

AN: In my head Doctor Who is around for as long as there are people to watch it. ;) I just wanted to thank everyone who has been reading so far, especially those of you kind enough to post reviews and fav and follow. You guys rock! Thanks again and hope you enjoyed!