"...I'll see you there?" I bit my lip, hoping I wouldn't have to sit alone at breakfast. Maybe I would need a friend here. Someone who knows what I've been going through. Someone who understands. Someone who could be a shoulder to cry on, something to look forward to every day instead of waking up to blank hope.
Parker hesitated, expressions I couldn't read flickering over his face. Finally, he smiled softly and nodded. "Yea. Yea, I'll see you there, Coonie."
"Cammie."
"What?"
"Cammie's my name."
Parker smirked, and for a heartbreaking moment he looked a lot like Zach. "See you at breakfast, Coonie."
Cammie's POV
"Hey. Hey, girl. Clary, do you know what this chick's name is?"
"No. I just saw Nicole bringing her up last night and setting up that little cot for her. She laid there for a while and then left for a couple hours. She collapsed there at dawn," a soft voice said.
Then I realized that somebody was shaking my shoulder, and I jumped away from the hand.
"Oh, hey. Sorry to scare you," the rough, gravelly voice – so different from Clary's – apologized. I slowly peeled my eyes out to the bright room and saw a bunch of girls shuffling around, dressing and folding their blankets up. I saw the calloused hand that was lingering near my shoulder and traced up its arm, to a face with the largest brown eyes I've ever seen in my life. Framed by thick lashes, with tan skin and thin lips, a small nose and dark hair in a boy-cut, which just accented her huge eyes even more.
"You okay...? I'm Zoe, that's Clary," the girl with large eyes – Zoe – pointed to herself and then to an adorable little girl that looked half-Asian.
Clary smiled sweetly at me and stuck her little hand out for me to shake. She looked about a year younger than Zoe and I, with long tresses of wavy hair framing her face, falling to the small of her back, with hazel eyes and full lips, a flat nose. I sat up and smiled at them, rubbing sleep from my eyes with my left hand and shaking Clary's with my right.
"My name is Cammie, nice to meet you," I answered politely.
"It's time for breakfast!" Clary dimpled, taking the hand she never let go of and pulling me up. I was a full head taller than her. Dizziness took over my brain but I did my best to ignore it, smoothing out and folding my blanket like the other girls did.
"Clary loves breakfast," Zoe rolled her eyes. The way her eyelashes brushes the top of her eyelids mesmerized me, and I stared in jealousy at her face.
Clary nodded and pulled us out the door.
We chatted about random things – our birthdays, favorite colors, what we hoped was being served at breakfast today. But none of us even brushed the subject of why we were here. I guess it was just unwritten code here – what's past is past. We followed the gaggle of girls, which soon melted in with gaggles of guys, into the dining hall. I looked around for Parker's platinum blonde hair, a little disappointed when I didn't see him.
Not that I didn't like Clary and Zoe – I really liked them, actually. Zoe's serious, calm personality clashed so strongly to Clary's extremely adorable and bubbly one. I liked it. But the thing was – they were obviously best friends. They linked arms and giggled and spurted so many inside jokes I didn't understand half of the things they said.
Clary pulled me to the line of kids waiting for food – kids from four years old to seventeen – with trays sliding along counters like at schools. I grabbed a puke colored tray and slid along the counter, looking with half disgust and half mild interest as they poured slop and vegetables onto my tray. Suddenly, a whistle blew behind me and I jumped. I turned around, seeing an old nun charge gracefully down the room, grabbing two boys that were play-wrestling, and marched them out of the room. Nobody else even batted an eye.
Typical. Mean nuns, disgusting food – what next? Cleaning spiders out of the attic?
"Don't worry, that happens often. Just follow the rules and Sister Amelia won't get you," Zoe patted my back lightly.
"And you thought Sister Amelia wasn't real," a voice said behind me. I jumped again but turned around, a smile twitching at my lips.
"Oh? I doubt that that Sister Amelia was checking out your butt, Parker," I rolled my eyes. He already had his own tray of slop, and he twitched his head, telling me to follow him to a table. I looked back at Zoe and Clary, but they just had confused expressions on their faces.
"How do you know Parker?" Clary asked, stepping up and winding her skinny arms around Parker's waist. He smiled gently down at her and ruffled her hair, hugging her back.
He threw a nod at Zoe and she waved back.
"Coonie was with me last night in a dark hallway," Parker winked.
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Yes, it was all very romantic – with poetry and everything."
"I ship it," Zoe laughed.
My smile faded and I shook my head.
"No..." I cleared my throat and forced my lips back into a grin. "Nah. I have a boyfriend back home."
"Really?" Clary grinned. We all walked over to a table and sat down. "What's his name?"
I smiled genuinely then. "Zach. We've been best friends forever, but just recently started dating. I - he's waiting for me back home. I promised him I'd be back." Tears stung the back of my eyes again – I don't think I would ever be able to think about Zach again without crying until he was by my side.
Zoe and Clary nodded seriously. "You're sixteen, right? Two more years. That's not too bad."
I nodded vigorously, even though my heart was screaming, 'Too long! Two years too long!'
"There is no divinity, so inadequately she hopes. There is no divinity, so inadequately she dreams," Parker murmured. We all looked up at him, but he just smiled and dug into his slop.
"He does that a lot," Clary explained, picking up asparagus and dipping it into her mush, and then biting into it as if it were the greatest thing in the world. "Comes up with random lines of poetry that he never fits into an actual completed poem."
Parker shrugged. "Too much work. Hey, Dustin! Over here!"
A short boy walked over, with spiked black hair and skinny but toned arms. "Hey, Park. Clare-bear, Zo. Newcomer?"
"Yup, this is Cammie," Clary introduced. "Cammie, this is my big brother, Dustin."
I smiled and waved my asparagus at him. I could clearly see the resemblance now – their thick dark hair and brown eyes with noticeable flecks of green. He set his tray of food down next to Parker and smiled at me, his teeth scarily perfect and white.
I ate in silence for a while, listening to their conversations and giggling at their adorableness. Parker nudged me under the table and smiled at me, and I smiled back. But a deep, deep pang of grief hit my heart as I watched them interact. They were so comfortable with each other – throwing peas and tickling and poking fun. Clary reminded me too much of Liz – Dustin too much of Tristan, Zoe too much like Bex, Parker too much like half of a Jonas and the other half a Zach.
"Two years, Cam," I muttered under my breath. "Two more years until Zach." I missed him like the moon misses the stars in the daytime. But this happens – this would just prove that our love was real. Being separated for two years and still being together – I think that's real love.
But I already knew what we had was real.
Liking somebody is knowing their good personality and their perfections and feeling butterflies. But being in love is knowing all of their inner demons and flaws and still – there are the butterflies. And right now, just thinking about him, the butterflies were in overdrive.
Ohk, so last chapter I got a review from somebody named Krista.
Krista's review said: 'Has anyone ever stop and try to look at this from Cam's dads perspective... I think that maybe Cammie deserves to be treated that way.'
...Krista, if you're reading this. You need to get off the computer and sit down and rethink how you're looking at life. Honestly – no matter what anybody does or says, nobody deserves to be abused. What could any child do to 'deserve' being beat every night from the people that are supposed to love them unconditionally? How the hell would you feel if your daddy hit you just because he was drunk and stressed out? I read your review and I had to re-read it several times to see if I saw it correctly. That was so ridiculous that I half-think you're joking. Are you done thinking about your perspectives in life? If you seriously think any human or any animal – especially a child – could do something so 'terrible' to get a beating, then I would appreciate it if you would get the hell off my story and never read or review on anything I ever write again. And Cammie did what in this story? What did she do to deserve a beating? That's what I'd like to know, Krista. Sorry to bitch at you – because I don't know you and what you've been through in life - but your review was truly disgusting and ridiculously stupid. Maybe you were having a bad day or something, I don't know you and you don't know me. If you didn't mean it, then think about what you say before stupid words come out of your mouth. Or in this case, fingers. And if you did mean it and you still do, then bye. I'm over this.
Onto happier notes, this chapter was a filler! Next chapter, many, many important things are going to happen. I'll be sure to upload that soon! Be a good kiddie and review on this oh-so boring filler for the excitement in the next chapter? ;D
But honestly you guys – I've hit over 400 reviews. You don't know how much that freaking means to me. Thank you so, so much.
I forgot to do a quote last chapter! Sorry, guys! But quote for this chapter:
"Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten." -Anonymous.
Honestly, guys. Please think about what you say before you say it. This past month – I've said some horrible things to one of my friends. And she honestly didn't deserve them. And I feel so terrible about it that I've had dreams about her sitting in her room and crying. Don't use words against others – you have no idea how it might affect them, you have no idea how much it could really hurt them. You have no idea what they've been through – how their family is, anything. So think about what you say before you say it. Don't speak unless your words are going to be more beautiful than the silence you broke.
Speak only kind words, and try to be a good person in life. Do you really want to bring a person down, possibly piling an insult on an already too-big pile of insults already and have them – in the worst case situation – end their life because of all of these harsh words thrown at them? Do you really want to be the person who everybody hates in the movies? The person that gets that 5 second thrill of slowly killing a person inside?
No. You don't. Words are the most powerful weapon in the world – please be careful with them.