Confessions Of The Heart

As he looked at her. Her hair laying around her face made her look even more beautiful than he could remember. He softy touched her hair. It was soft and felt like fine sink under his fingers. He listened to her soft breathing and he could tell she was sleeping. He laid out the sleeping bag to lay her down on it. To help make her more comfortable. But he really wanted to do it so he could hold her in his arms.

As he was moving her he stopped and held her close to him snuggling her to his chest and breathing in her scent. His beast yelling at him to take her and to make her his mate. But he did not want to do something like that unless she wanted to as well. He could only hope and pray that it was not to late for him to have her as his mate that she would forgive him. He had so many things going through his head it was hard for him to think of anything. He softy laid her down careful not to wake her.

As she slept he decided he should gather some wood for the night so he wouldn't have to leave her side later. As he gathered the wood he make sure he did not move far from her in case she woke up. Soon he had enough wood to last the night. After setting up the fire pit he sit back and watched and waited for her to wake. As he waited he softy stroked her hair wishing she would wake so he could hear her sweet voice in his ears. Even if she did only yell at him.

After about 30 minutes Kagome's eyes fluttered open and then closed again. He knew she was awake from listening to her heart beat and her breathing. "Hello beautiful. I hope you slept well." He said in a soft velvet voice hoping for her not to scream or yell. Kagome sit up and looked away from the area he was sitting in. "Hi" was all she said. Kagome didn't really trust her own voice.

Kagome could hear him let out a soft sigh. "How long have I been asleep?" She ask him trying to keep a calm voice and not show the pain she was feeling inside. "About an hour" he said. He moved as to be able to see her face only to have her turn her face away from him. This hurt him deeply. But he could understand why she was acting the way she was. "Why did you let me sleep and how did I get on the sleeping bag?" She ask. She knew it was him but she wanted to hear him say it. " You must have been tired to fall asleep setting up like you did. It didn't look very comfortable so I moved you while you slept." She turned her head a little to him but still not looking him in the eye. "Thank You"

At least he does care to move me like he did. she thought. She became lost in her thoughts wondering if she should ask him questions or not. Some of the things she was wondering she wasn't sure she really want to know the answers too. But from what the others had said. He did change the way he thought about things. She didn't realize she had started chewing on her bottom lip until she tasted blood in her mouth and felt something soft rubbing against her lip.

The feeling on her lip and the taste of blood brought her out of her thoughts. When snapped out of her thoughts she saw Sesshomaru with a piece of cloth softy dabbing her lip to stop the bleeding. The smell of her blood was driving him crazy. His beast was screaming to be set free to protect his mate and help stop her bleeding. Kagome recognized this and using her tong was trying to stop the bleeding just to make it worse.

Sesshomaru didn't know if she would allow it or not but he knew he had to get the bleeding stopped before he lost his control over himself. "Kagome let me stop the bleeding you know I can. You bit it pretty hard." he said. She could hear the concern and the emotions in his voice. He prayed she would allow it. He wanted so much for his lips to touch her. He saw her hesitation

After a second she agreed but only if he controlled himself. He agreed and silently thanked the Gods. Placing his finger tips under her chin she closed her eyes and allowed him to touch her lip. As he touched her lip with the blood. He felt his blood start to boil as he tasted her. His tong started rubbing lightly over the bleeding area of her lip. She became lost in the feeling of his touch. The smell of him being so close filled her noise as she breathed it in. He stated caressing her lip with both of his as well as rubbing the lip with his tong. He could smell her arousal and it was making it hard for him to control himself but he still did not want to leave her lips.

He turned his head just a little and her other lip touched his. He tried not to caress her fully. Kagome felt this being lost in his feeling closed her lips closer together as to touch his. When he felt her do this he softy incased both of her lips kissing her fully but softy. His hand slipped to the side of her face holding her in a genital embrace. When he licked her lip once again she opened her mouth and he took it as an invitation. He slipped his tong into her mouth and softy caressed her tong with his. He couldn't help but let out a soft moan at the taste of her that he had missed so very much. Kagome's eyes shot open as she realized what they where doing .

She pushed him away and stood quickly and walked so her back was to him."Please don't." She said and he could smell the salt of her tears. He stood and walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders."I'm sorry Kagome but when I felt your lips press to mine. I was hoping you wanted me too. Please do not cry. Angels should never cry."

"I am no Angel Sesshomaru." She answered in a calm voice. Kagome didn't want to trust herself now. She new this was going to be harder than she had thought it was going to be. She still loved him even after everything he had said to her that night. Even through all of the pain she had felt and still did. But she couldn't help but to lick her lips just to taste him one more time on them. She wanted to know her answers. She knew if she let herself get involved with him now she wouldn't get the answers that was needed. She knew she was going to haft to be cold and hard to find her answers so with all the strength she could find and tapping into her miko powers. She put on a hard face and turned to face him.

"Sesshomaru you and I have something to talk about. Tell me Sesshomaru how is it you felt when you learned I left?" Kagome knew that this one question would unfold everything she wanted to know.

Without any hesitation he answered her."My world ended." She could hear the pain in his voice as he was unable to hide it. "Why is that Sesshomaru? I am just another human to be used for whatever a Lord wants. Not to be cherished but used for their desires and urges until something better comes along that is not human." She knew the question and the way she had put it was cold and cruel but she had to know the truth if he had changed or not.

She watched as his eyes widened and then he turned away from her. But she was not going to let him off easy on this. She walked around to the front of him so he had to face her. When she looked into his eyes. She saw nothing but pain and regret in them. She could tell that this one statement she had made had torn him up inside. Feeling guilty she reached up and wiped his tears away with her hand.

As he looked at her more tears came to his eyes. He was unable to hold them back . Knowing the pain and the amount of tears she must have shed because of him. He remembered the look in her eyes that night as they had that very conversation. To make matter worse she was now showing him kindness even with all the pain he had given her.

Taking a deep breath he looked down at the ground between them to ashamed of himself to look her in the eyes any longer. Kagome stood and waited for his answer to her question. But she knew now he was truly in pain with what she had said.

As he was having a hard time just trying to control himself and willing himself to stay in control. When he finely answers. It will tell her if he had really changed or not. Sesshomaru moved away from Kagome to the tree placing both hands on it to help stable himself so he will be able to answer her. With his head hanging low between his arms and his eyes closed he took a deep breath and then answered her question.

" Kagome what I said to you that night was more than just wrong It was cruel. I love you so much. I thought if I took you for a mate I would lose my pride but I was wrong . I lost my pride when I pushed you away and then again when you left.

When you left I felt myself die inside. It was like my world had ended. When I was told you had gone through the well to your own time and sealed the well. In the time we have been apart I came to realize that just because someone is human it makes no difference it is the soul inside that matters the person them self. Being away from you has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Every minute seems like years."

Kagome felt bad for Sesshomaru. She could hear all the pain he felt and saw his tears as they fell from his eyes hitting the roots of the tree below him. She didn't want him to hurt anymore she had done that enough already. She believed he had changed his ways and the vision she had seen would not come to pass anymore. She walked over and pulled him away from the tree enough she could see his face. She wiped his tears from his face and pulled him into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around her holding her close. Not wanting to ever let her go again. He whispered in her ear." Kagome I have always treated you as my mate just not in title. I have always thought of you that way." With hearing this Kagome hugged him a little tighter to her hoping to help ease his pain. Kagome stepped up on a root so she would be closer to him. As she was holding him she whispered in his ear. "Sesshomaru promise me you will never look down on any human again and please don't just say it you need to really mean it. All living things are beautiful." "I Promise Kagome never again." Was his simply reply.