~ Part 14 ~

::

Rose was feeling content. Her back ached a bit, but apart from that she was quite enjoying this stage of the pregnancy. As the baby developed, its tickling presence in Rose's mind grew stronger, and it was a huge source of comfort and relief to her. It was a remarkable experience, to feel connected to another living thing like that.

She was also happy with the way things stood between her and the Doctor. His reassurances last week, when she was speaking of all her anxieties about becoming a mum, had done wonders for her self-esteem.

Martha often visited her family when the Doctor was at the house, but sometimes she stayed for tea and a chat with Rose too, which they both enjoyed. It was good to have someone of a similar age to talk to about what life on the TARDIS was like, and Rose could tell that she and Martha were becoming fast friends, which pleased her.

One evening, after a catch-up with Rose, Martha went out to the pub with a few of her medical student mates, so the Doctor made use of their time alone to broach a topic of conversation that he'd been meaning to bring up for a while.

They had retreated to the living room after dinner, and Rose flopped down on the sofa to relax, feeling exhausted but looking radiant, in his opinion.

"I told Martha, by the way," he said quietly, apropos of nothing, as he settled on the sofa next to her.

Rose looked up at him in confusion. "Told her what?"

"About why we aren't together anymore. She asked about it last week, so I ended up telling her all about it."

"Oh. Right."

"Was that okay? That I told her?"

"Of course." She paused. "What did she say?"

"A lot," he winced. "She shouted at me all evening, actually."

Rose grinned. "Good to know I have an ally."

He bumped her shoulder with his. "She felt sorry for me by the end of the discussion."

"Ah, well, you are quite pitiable," she relented. He gaped at her and she laughed at his expression. "I'm kidding."

"No you aren't," he sighed, and nudged her with his shoulder again. "But I concede to your point. I was rather miserable, droning on about my idiocy whilst drowning my sorrows with a cup of tea."

"Tea solves everything," she acknowledged, facing the telly again.

"Should be your mother's slogan, that."

"I think it already is."

"Anyway, my point is, I miss you."

"Was that the point?" she retorted, arching an eyebrow. "Doesn't seem relevant to me."

"Of course it's bloody relevant. Why do you think I was so miserable in the first place?"

"Because you'd run out of bananas?"

"Don't be silly. I am never so daft as to forget to stock up on bananas."

Rose giggled. He was delighted by that. He was very glad that he could still make her laugh.

"I miss you being in the TARDIS," he murmured.

She sighed, and rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to look at the television screen rather than him. "I know. You said all this the other day."

"When we kissed."

"When you kissed me," she corrected softly.

"When you told me I could kiss you."

"Yes," she relented, with a sigh. They were quiet for a few moments before he asked his next question.

"Do you miss being in the TARDIS?"

"Yes. But the baby…"

"I know." He paused. "Once the baby's born, will you come back?"

"We need to think about what's going to happen then, very, very carefully," she murmured, finally looking at him again. "Our previous way of life is way too dangerous for a child. We were too reckless. We went to places that we knew were trouble. We can't do that with our baby, Doctor. But on the other hand, there are still people who need our help in those dangerous places. And I miss that. I really do. You know how much I thrived on all that danger – as much as you, I reckon."

"I know," he said, with a wistful smile. "You were perfect for me that way."

She swallowed thickly. "But now things have changed."

"Yeah."

"I won't put my baby in danger."

"I won't put our baby in danger either," he retorted.

"So how are we gonna do it? Balance the two sides of our life?"

"The domestic versus the danger?"

"Exactly."

"Hmm. Well, I'm not sure."

"Exactly," Rose said again, sounding sad.

"We'll find a way, Rose."

"Will the baby even be able to be on the TARDIS after it's born? Whilst it's growing up, I mean?"

"Yeah, it's only in the stages of gestation that the vortex might cause problems. Once she's born, she'll be fine to travel."

"She?" Rose grinned.

"I'm pretty convinced," he replied, grinning back. "So. We'll work it out, yeah? And you'll come home?"

"Doctor, we need to establish this house as home for him or her too, because we'll need a base. Somewhere for us to settle. I know that we have to introduce him or her to our way of life as well, because that's part of who she – he - is, and who he'll probably want to be, but we can't travel constantly. He'll need to make friends, friends his own age – at nursery, at school."

He nodded. "I understand. We'll just learn to balance it. It'll be fine, Rose." Then he chuckled. "You really think it's a boy, don't you?"

"Yes," she said emphatically. "So stop tricking me into saying the opposite."

The Doctor left at around nine-thirty that evening, and just as Rose was about to go up to get some rest, the phone rang. She answered it promptly; it was Shareen.

"Hey honey!" Shareen greeted on the other end of the line. "How are you?"

Rose raised her eyebrows in surprise. Shareen had barely spoken to her since she'd told her she was pregnant. "I'm…I'm great, ta. You?"

"Oh, I'm good, yeah. So, I was wondering whether I could come around for a chat? Feel like we need a catch-up, you know?"

"Oh, um, yeah. All right then." Rose was tired, but it'd be nice to talk to Shareen for a bit, seeing as she was apparently now taking an interest. "What time?"

"I can be at yours in half hour, if that's all right?"

"Sure," agreed Rose warmly. "It'll be lovely to see you!"

When Shareen arrived exactly thirty minutes later, she gaped at Rose. "You look huge!"

"Thanks," Rose laughed, ushering her friend into the living room. She offered her a packet of crisps and a bottle of beer.

"Just like old times," grinned Shareen.

Rose lifted up her glass of orange juice. "Well, not quite."

"So, how's it feel? Being all…pregnant?"

Rose shrugged. "It's all right. Bit of a pain, sometimes, I s'pose - when I can't do the things I'd normally do - but…I dunno, I quite like it, really, now that I'm over the morning sickness. How are you, anyway? What you been up to?"

"Oh, this and that," replied Shareen, taking a sip of her beer. "Met a new bloke."

"Oh, yeah? What's he like?"

"He was rubbish. So I chucked him. Now I've got a new, new bloke."

Rose smiled to herself, letting Shareen talk about her new, new bloke whilst she lost herself in a memory for a few minutes. It had been one of the happiest, strangest moments of her life that day, laying on the Doctor's coat on the applegrass of New Earth. She'd thought everything had been complicated then, what with the regeneration and everything, but she'd had no idea just how complicated her life – their life – would become.

"What about you? Heard from that dick of a doctor of yours?" Shareen asked, jerking Rose out of her reverie.

"Um…" Rose paused, thinking back over what she'd told Shareen when she'd first announced her pregnancy and had to explain why she wasn't with the Doctor any longer. She'd told her friend that she'd dumped him, but she hadn't been truthful with the reasons why.

"Rose?" Shareen prompted.

"Yeah, erm. Haven't really been in contact, you know…" she hedged awkwardly, before shoving a few crisps into her mouth.

"Well, good job you got rid, anyway," Shareen snorted, before taking another sip of her beer.

Rose shifted uneasily. She had allowed Shareen to believe, for the past few months, that she'd not seen the Doctor at all. She'd allowed Shareen to think that he never visited. And that made her feel terribly guilty, but she wasn't sure how to get herself out of the predicament, not now that she'd let it go on so long.

"Still, you sure that you didn't get pregnant for that specific reason?" Shareen asked, waggling her eyebrows and taking a biscuit from the plate that Rose had put on the coffee table.

"What do you mean?" asked Rose, her brow furrowing.

"Well, lots of girls do that, don't they? Get themselves up the duff on purpose just so that the bloke feels like he has to stay with 'em."

"Shareen, this baby was completely accidental. You know I never wanted kids."

"Yeah, but then you met that moron, and I'm betting you'd've done anything to stay with him," Shareen pointed out, giving her a grin and a wink.

"What? Don't be daft! We didn't even stay together anyway, so what are you on?"

"Only because you – quite rightly – dumped his arse when it became obvious he didn't want it. I dunno, that's just typical, that is. You go to all that trouble of trying to secure the bloke, and that's what drives him away in the end anyway!" Shareen shook her head sadly. "Still, at least you're shot of him. He was a loony."

"That's not what you said when you met him at New Year's," Rose ground out between clenched teeth.

"Yeah, well, I was drunk. He seemed nice."

"I actually remember you telling me to 'cling onto that one, Rose, or I might have a go,'" Rose replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Like I said, I'd been drinking! I didn't mean it!"

"But you did think he was good-looking."

"Yeah, but that should've been a sign straight-off. The good-looking ones are never satisfied with what they've got. Always looking for something better. Shinier. Grass always greener, and all that."

Rose swallowed hard. "That's a bit unfair," she mumbled. "I mean, not all good-looking guys are like that."

"But you said it yourself, Rose! On the phone that time, do you remember? You kept on about how he was a commitment-phobe, babe. It's why I wasn't that surprised when you told me you'd pulled the preggers stunt."

"Shareen, how many more times! I didn't do this on purpose!"

Shareen giggled. "No piercing-the-condom, then?"

"What? Don't be stupid. You watch too much telly."

"If you say so," she shrugged. "Anyway, enough about him. When are you gonna come hang out with the old crew, eh?"

"Shareen, I haven't seen most of 'em for nearly a year. It'd be…awkward, especially now I've got the baby coming."

"Mariah's pregnant too, you know," Shareen said casually.

"What, seriously?" Rose gasped.

"Yep. But unlike your git of an ex, her boyfriend's sticking around."

Rose wrinkled her nose up. "If I were her, I'd rather he didn't – that Ben is a right tosser."

"Oh, it's not Ben's," Shareen corrected hastily. "Sorry, forgot you're not up to speed. Um, it's Craig's. They're together now."

"Craig? As in, Craig from the betting shop Craig? Craig who has already been married three times and has four kids, Craig?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"I know, I know, bit of an age gap."

"Mm."

"Not that you can talk; how many years older than you was your fella?"

Rose coughed. "Um…fifteen. Ish."

Shareen sighed. "See, I told Mariah to be careful 'cos of that. You never know when they're gonna get tired of chasing the younger women and start looking for someone their own age, you know, more mature and all that."

"Mmm," Rose said tightly.

Shareen continued to talk about her and Rose's old group of friends, but by this point, Rose wasn't really interested. None of the people Shareen brought up in conversation had bothered to contact Rose, not even when she'd tried to initiate a reunion dinner. She couldn't really blame them – she had been gone a long time without seeing them, and it wasn't like they had much in common any more. Still, the thought of losing all her old mates brought down Rose's mood a bit. But then she started thinking about Martha, and the new friendship she was forging with her, and she realised that maybe it was good to start afresh, with someone who could better understand her.

And when she came to that realisation, all she wanted to do was say goodbye to Shareen, call up Martha, and get the gossip from her night out. Martha might be a very different person to Rose, who had lived a very different life and come from a very different place, but right now, she felt an infinitely closer bond to her than she did with the friend she had grown up with who was sitting in front of her right at that moment.

And Rose didn't quite know what to think of that.