AN: Okay. I have school starting tomorrow so I am probably not going to be able to update as often as I'd like to. But I will still try to update and write in any of my free time. But just don't be surprised if it's a little longer than it has been. Lol. But because I love you guys so much, I will make an extra special effort. But reviews never hurt. In fact, I'll update quicker if I get 10 for this chapter. LOL

Declaimer: I don't own anything.

I refused to cry again. After all I had put both of them through it was the least I could do. To spare them the pain of watching me break down. I knew both of them hated when girls cry and especially me. They both feel helpless and out of control.

I pondered the thought of Edward and Nate being similar. I mean, they are both protective, they are both stubborn, they are both the two emotionally strongest men I know, they are both kind and caring, they are both hardworking and they are the two men I love more than anything in the world combined. But they were very different people too. I'm not going to even begin listing the differences because there are too many.

After my talk with Nate and Edward, I hugged Nate fiercely, and then was scooped up in Edward's arms. I didn't realize how tired I was until we were in the car. We watched Nate drive away as Edward buckled me into the passenger seat and then got into the driver's. We rode in silence the whole way home. Not an actward silence like it is with Charlie but a comfortable one. When Edward pulled into his driveway I was already half asleep.

I was glad that Edward remembered that I didn't want to go back to Charlie's house. I doubt I could face my father now, after walking out for hours, and siding with a guy who knocked up his daughter and then told him off. I smiled tiredly, at the thought

Edward chuckled at my facial expression, which by my guess and his face, looked like an idiot. Wordlessly he ran full on vampire speed to my door and scooped me out of the old rusty truck. He carried me into the house and up the stairs not stopping to talk to anyone. I realized that Emmett and Jasper and Carlisle probably now knew about Novalee and Nate.

I blushed involuntary. I knew it was stupid to be embarrassed about everyone knowing a secret in a family that had no secrets from each other, but I was. I had no idea what their reaction was and had no intention of finding out tonight. I somehow knew that it was going to be different though. I would have never expected Rosalie to be kind to me but since I told her she was.

I wondered briefly what Esme thought of my situation. She had been through something similar but still different. She was different than me. Stronger. She probably handled it better than me. Well, after she jumped off a cliff.

I was kind of glad I didn't know her back then. Because if I did know Esme back when Novalee died I may have gotten the idea of killing myself. I'm glad I was so naïve back then that suicide never occurred to me. It would have hurt too many people. Nate, Francia, Ricky, Allie, Casey, Gwen, Briee, Taylor, Dustin, Mason, and Tommy.

I thought in the back of my mind about my parents. They would care. No matter how mad I was at my dad or how little I've had to do with my mom lately, I knew they love me. And I do love them too, as imperfect as they are, they are still my parents.

Edward laid me on his bed and kissed my forehead. "Are you alright, love?" Edward asked me

"Yeah" I whispered. "Why?"

"You've been lost in thought the whole way home" Edward smiled a crooked smile. "Though I found the expression on your face adorable" He added casually

"I was just thinking," I mumbled

"About?" Edward prompted

"Everything" I sighed and sat up, more awake now. Edward nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. Something was bothering him and he clearly wasn't happy with the answer I gave him. If it made Edward happy to hear me explain myself, I would. "I was thinking about…." I hesitated "Suicide" I said in a voice nothing above a whisper but Edward's head flew up and his eyes were alarmed.

"What?!" Edward exclaimed. I realized how wrong my words could be taken.

"No! No, not now. But I was thinking about, well maybe. Back when I lost Novalee. If I would have thought of it, well I'm not sure if I would have been able to refuse it." I explained. Edward startled facial expression didn't falter. "Edward, honey, calm down." I said, and then laughed nervously.

"You wouldn't have….You ..Couldn't." Edward stumbled. "Promise me, Bella, promise me that you would never do that!"

"I promise I will never commit suicide." I vowed.

"Good" Edward breathed a sigh of relief. He then scooted from the edge of the bed facing me, where he was before to sitting right next to me. He took my face in his hands and kissed my in such a way that it made my head spin. Not that I was complaining. After a few seconds of his amazing kissing he pulled away, cradling my face still. "Don't ever do that me again, Isabella." He pronounced my full name perfectly.

"Do what?" I asked. He was over reacting to something I was thinking.

"Make me imagine a world where you didn't excise." Edward informed. "It's my epitome of hell" I rolled my eyes.

"You over reacted, Edward" I said in a mono tone

"Did I? If the situation was reversed would you think I over reacted," Edward raised an eyebrow

"…No but that's different" I said after a minute, trying to think of a legitimate excuse and coming up blank.

"Please, explain Bella. I'd love to hear this" He sounded sarcastic

"Well, I didn't know you back then" It was the best excuse I could come up with.

Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella, I guessed I over reacted. It just scared me to think of you, cold, pale, unfeeling and unmoving." Edward shuttered at the thought.

"I shouldn't have told you," I said in a quiet voice.

"No, Bella, please. I love to hear what your thinking, it just scares me sometimes" Edward's eyes were pleading. I sighed and laid my head back down on the pillow. I fought sleeping for as long as I could.

"This bed's really comfy," I said randomly

Edward chuckled. "I'm glad you think so."

"Why did you it get?" I asked, though I had an idea already. Instead of saying anything Edward trailed his hand down my side from the top of my head to my waist then back up. When he reached my face he stopped and stroked it for a few minutes.

"Take a wild guess" He smiled widely

I rolled my eyes. "I hate it when you spend money on me" I complained unnecessarily. We had already had this argument quite a few times. As always he gave me the answer he always gave me.

"Well you're worth it, so I'm going to continue on doing it" Edward said, I grumbled but didn't say anything else on the subject.

I remembered a few minutes ago when his face looked like something was bothering him. He had the expression back.

"Edward" I mumbled, "What's wrong?" I asked

"Nothing, angel" He said quickly, picking me up in one arm and tucking me under the covers.

I laid down on the pillow he provided me. "I want to know," I demanded.

Edward sighed, giving in. "I just can't get out of my head that you told Nate all this stuff about your parents but you never told me" He whispered. I felt immediately guilty,

I looked away. "I'm sorry," I mumbled after a moment

"Will you tell me why, Bella? Please?" Edward begged

I sighed now and sat up, as did he. I looked down at my hands in my lap, unable to look at him in the eyes as I told him this. "You family is so…perfect. You have great parents and a bunch of siblings…with equal attention." I paused, organizing my thoughts. "I just…I wanted to tell you I had a good family too. Nate and all my other friends in Phoenix, they were there in one of the worst times of my life with my parents. So I told them and plus they had screwed up family too. I just didn't want you to think that I came from some crappy family while you came from a wonderful one. I didn't want to ruin your happiness." I finished my explanation. I looked at Edward. He was looking off into space, like he was a million miles away.

"Are you saying Bella that you didn't tell me because you didn't think I wanted to know?" Edward asked, still not looking at me. I nodded, knowing he could see it. "Oh, Bella." Edward said, now facing me again, "Bella, listen to me. I never want you to think you can't come to me. You can tell me anything! I thought you knew that?" Edward pulled me into his lap.

"I do, Edward, I do. I will tell you everything from now on." I mumbled into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I was getting drowsy again. "I love you," I mumbled before shutting my eyes and letting sleep overcome me.

"I love you too, my perfect angel" Was the last thing I heard.

When I woke up, I felt someone touching my head. I looked up and saw Edward playing with my hair. He smiled his crooked smile.

"Good morning, love" Edward greeted me.

"What time is it?" I asked

"Five thirty. I thought you might want to get up considering you need to be at school at seven sharp." Edward pointed out

"How did you know?" I asked, sitting up

"Alice" Edward said blankly

I nodded then got up and walked to the bathroom. I looked and just as I suspected Alice had supplied the shower with my strawberry shampoo and conditioner. I turned the water on and undressed. As I stepped into the shower I thought about my hell of a day yesterday. I wondered if it was going to get better or worse today. Somehow I didn't think it could get any worse but I thought it might. I don't know just a feeling.

As I stepped out of the shower I saw an outfit laid out at the other end of the bathroom and a big fluffy towel. I wanted to believe it was Alice who put them in here but I wondered for a moment if it was Edward. I didn't ponder it for too long. The outfit was obviously picked out by Alice. It was a matching plaid bra and underwear, ripped up skinny jeans and a blue tank top.

Once I was dressed and dry, I walked back to Edward's room where Edward sat in the middle of the bed. He looked districted so I decided to sneak up on him. I ran from the doorway and jump on top of his chest. He jumped up in surprise and luckily caught me in his arms. I giggled

"Did I scare you?" I taunted

"Yes. You scared me that you were going to get hurt." Edward replied, the shock had not yet left his face but now there was sarcasm too.

"Or maybe you just don't want to admit that you're terrified!" I laughed again. Edward looked down on me and his facial expression had changed completely. Instead of shock and sarcasm, it was adoration and amused.

"Yes, Bella, I'm terrified of a scary sexy monster." Edward teased. I raised my eyebrow. Did he just call me sexy? I doubted anyone found me that attractive. He scooped me up in his arms and swung me up so I was lying over his shoulder. He ran down the stairs at vampire speed and I had to shut my eyes. No way I could be lying upside-down on my stomach and not get sick.

When we reached the first floor I jumped down. Edward helped me into my coat. "I better get to school" I said as I pecked his lips. He caught my waist.

"I can drive you," He offered

"No, really Edward, it's fine. Besides it would look weird to everyone else if you drove me to school for my morning detention."

"I don't care what everyone else thinks" Edward exclaimed

I kissed his lips again. "I'll be fine," I said as I walked out the door and to my truck. I hopped in and started the ignition.

As I drove to school, I again, worried about what kind of reception I was going to get today. I tried not to dwell for too long on it. I also saw that I was almost out of gas. I pulled into an empty parking lot. Chelsea was the only one here besides the principal, who walks to school, and Chelsea doesn't have here license yet. Too bad, I thought to myself, I could have keyed her car.

I walked into the building and walked to the office. Chelsea was waiting in one of the chairs. I walked over and sat next to her. She snickered.

"Didn't think you were going to show" Chelsea said, still smirking

"Excuse me?" I asked

"I mean after all that you've been through" She rolled her eyes and used a fake sugary voice. What was she talking about?

"What?"

She laughed without humor. "Where's Nate?" Chelsea asked, faking curiosity, "You two are bed buddies, right?" My mouth fell open as she said the words.

"What?" I mouthed

Chelsea laughed but before she could say anything else Mr. Greene came out. He called me back first, which I was grateful for. I still couldn't get out of my head the fact that Chelsea somehow knew about Nate and me.

"Sit down, Miss Swan." Mr. Greene's voice was stern. I did as I was told. "Now, I was very surprised to find that the chief's daughter was fighting but from what my sources said you were provoked so I'm not going to suspend you like I should." He finished

"Thank you" I whispered

"You're welcome. You may head out now. Take care of yourself." Mr. Greene said. Well, that was short. I stood up and started to walk out the door, when I heard Mr. Green mumbled, "It seems you've been through a lot."

As I walked out Chelsea glared at me, I just hurried out of there as fast as I could. I decided now was the perfect time to put gas in my car. I ran to my truck for once not falling down on the way. I jumped in the truck and start the ignition. I sped out of there, reaching my trucks internal speed limit. The nearest gas station was five minutes away normal speed. I drove as fast as I could not thinking before driving. I'm surprised that I didn't cause a wreck.

How did Chelsea guess right? What did she mean 'after all you've been through'? What the hell was that supposed to mean? How did she know about Nate and me? Did she know about Novalee? I had no idea.

And what about Mr. Greene? He knows too! How?

By this time I had pulled into the gas station. I walked up to the pump and started to put gas in the car when I felt someone looking at me. I looked over and saw Mrs. Webber staring. I blushed and looked away. Did she know? Then I spotted Kelci in her mom's mini van and her mom, Mary, getting gas across the lot. They were also looking at me. Did they know? I finished putting gas in my car and paid. While I was paying I looked around. There were a few citizens of Forks I didn't know particularly well but they were pointing and talking about me. I'm absolutely sure. Why? Why did everyone know? How did everyone know?

The only people I had told were my family and the Cullens' who were like family. So why did everyone else know? I looked at the gas station attendant. It was Chad, Janelle's older brother. He was twenty. I'd met him a few times; from what I could tell he seemed very nice. Chad was giving me a pity look. I almost growled. I hated knowing people felt sorry for me. It made me feel pathetic. And no doubt I knew exactly what he was feeling sorry about. I got back in my car and took off as fast I could, back to school.

I listed off people in my head that I had told. Obviously Nate knew. There was everyone in Phoenix that I went to school with but I couldn't really count everyone. I started with Renee, Phil, my aunt Pam, my cousins Lucas and Mee Mee, my two uncles Milo and Troy and Phil's dad Jake. That did it for family. I told my ten best friends in Phoenix, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. And then last person I told was Charlie.

I slammed on my brakes. That was it! Charlie? CHARLIE! I couldn't breathe for a moment and I had no idea one so ever where I was. I slammed on the gas and did an illegal U turn. What's the worst that could happen right now? A cop pulls me over and takes me to see my dad that I already was looking for. I sped my way home and slammed on my brakes when I pulled into the driveway, so hard that it gave me whiplash.

I looked over as I got out of the car; Charlie's cruiser was still in the driveway. I ran up the steps into the house and slammed the door open.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't watch my life fall apart anymore. And worst of all, my dad is the person to expose my secret. I was positive. I never should have told him anything. I should have known what would happen. Angry tears leaked out of my eyes but I didn't care at this moment. I held in all my anger for too long and now it was exploding out of me. I shook my head furiously back and forth, trying to clear it. But it didn't work. My breathing became uneven and I could take any of the crap I was getting anymore.

I then I did something I had done in years. I screamed my loudest ear-piercing scream that made my throat burn.

AN: Okay, so you wonderful people doubled my standards for the last chapter so I' m going to ask for 10 reviews for me to update but it may take me longer to write a decent chapter. But maybe it wont. But either way it'll be quicker if I can get 10 reviewers.