Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put all characters in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's just the way things are. Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think.
Fourteenth Act
CQueen: Hey, everyone, how's it going for all of you?
Ichigo: There goes our feeble hopes that you'd have forgotten about us.
CQueen: I did, for a while, but I can only write so many Harry Potter fics before I need to come back to my oldies.
Matsumoto: Well we think you should concentrate on Harry Potter. I mean our series is still going but all those poor Harry Potter fans…they must be going through horrible Potter withdrawal.
Hinamori: It's your duty to supply them with more.
CQueen: Well unfortunately for you and me, they aren't that popular. People on this site prefer my BLEACH fics most.
Hitsugaya: Damn.
CQueen: But if it makes you feel better I'm having even more fun torturing Albus and Scorpius than I have messing with you guys.
Yachiru: Oh joy and rapture.
CQueen: Which means that I'm going to be leaving you guys alone more often, but since you shot your mouth off as always I'll just start the next song, shall I?
Yachiru: Crap.
CQueen: Don't worry; as much as I love screwing with you Hana gets front stage today.
Hana: I…I what?
CQueen: So ladies and gentlemen, I give you a whole group number for everyone with Hana chan in the lead. Presenting the song "After Today" from "A Goofy Movie".
**head bang and everyone is onstage in street clothes**
Hana: They've been laughin' since I can't remember
But they're not gonna laugh anymore
No more "Hana the Geek", no more "Goof of the Week" like before
Isane: No more algebra tests 'til September
Hisagi: No more lookin' at losers like him
Omeada: No more havin' to cheat
Zaraki: No more mystery meat
Renji: No more gym!
Kira: No more gym!
Hinamori: No more gym!
Yachiru: NO MORE GYM!
Matsumoto: Gonna move to the mall
Gin: Gonna live in the pool
Hana: Gonna talk to Yuzu and not feel like a fool
All: 'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruisin'
Hana: After today, she'll be mine!
All: After today my brains'll be snoozing
Hana: If I don't faint, I'll be fine!
Nanao and Soifon: I've got forty more minutes of Home Economics
Kyoraku and Zaraki: Then down with the textbooks
Kira: And up with the comics!
Hana: Just think of all the time I've been losing, finding the right thing to say
All: Things'll be goin' my way after today
Hana: She looked right through me, and who could blame her?
I need a new me
Plus some positive proof that I'm not just a goof
Visoreds: And after today I'm gonna be cruisin'
Arrancars: No more pep rallies to cut, Blech!
All: After today my brains'll be snoozing
Omaeda: I'm gonna sit on my butt
Hana: I've got less than an hour
And when this is ended
I'll either be famous
General: Or you'll be suspended!
All: Just think of all the time I've been losing
Waiting until I could say
Gonna be on my own
Kiss the parents good-bye
Gonna party from now 'til the end of July
Things'll be goin' my way
After today
Hana: I wish that this was the day
After today
**everyone returns to their seats**
Matsumoto: Okay that was seriously cute.
Isane: Very cute. Hana chan, you were really great up there.
Hana: **blush**
Karin: It certainly suited him anyway, right, Yuzu?
Yuzu: **blush**
CQueen: They're so cute, aren't they?
**all women nod in agreement**
Ishida: Quit pouting, Ichigo. At least you'll never have to worry about him with her.
Ichigo: Well that's true at least.
Karin: No kidding.
Yuzu: You guys!!!!
Isshin: Over my dead body.
Ichigo: Well, old man, technically you already are.
Isshin: Shut up. Are you trying to break your daddy's heart here?
CQueen: Yeah, well-before he gets going let's go on to the next number, shall we?
Karin: Heck ya.
CQueen: Okay, the next number is another group number and this one is taken from the film that put Walt Disney on the map. If I have to introduce this song I am too disappointed in my readers for words.
**head bong and the entire eleventh division is onstage dressed as dwarves**
The Entire Eleventh Division:
Heigh ho!
Heigh ho!
Heigh ho!
Heigh ho!
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho hum!
We fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
In a battle the whole day through!
To fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
Is what we like to do!
It ain't no trick to get rich quick
If you fight, fight, fight with a shovel or a pick
In a battle! In a battle! In a battle! In a battle!
Where a million fighters shine!
We fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
From early morn til night!
We fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
Kill everything in sight!
We beat up Hollows by the score!
A thousand dead, sometimes more!
But we don't know what we fight 'em for!
We fight, fight, fight-a-fight, fight!
Heigh ho! Heigh ho!
It's off to fight we go!
So keep on fighting all day long!
Heigh ho! Heigh ho heigh ho
Heigh ho! Heigh ho!
For if you're feelin' low,
You positively can't go wrong with a high
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho.
CQueen: Now you all gotta admit that was pretty sweet.
Zaraki: Death can't come to you soon enough.
Yachiru: if it's the last thing we do we're gonna see you dead, lady. Right, guys?
**All eleventh division roars agreement**
CQueen: Or I could just kill you all off right now and you'll never fight anyone, much less kill me again. How you like them apples?
Nemu: What do apples have to do with any of this?
Kyoraku: It's an expression, Nemu chan.
Nemu: Ah, I see now. It's like that forest one you told me about, about the tree falling where no one can hear it.
Nanao: Lets just get to the last song, okay?
CQueen: So impatient. Eager for me to get back to writing about you, Nanao chan?
Nanao: I've repeatedly told you that you do not have my permission to call me by my first name and no, I'd rather be chained to my captain for life than have you write any more of your twisted stories about me.
Kyoraku: Now, Nanao chan-
Nanao: Don't you Nanao me, Sir.
CQueen: The Sir sorta killed the feel of things, Nanao chan. But anyway, since it's late and all, I will present the third and final song of today's act and then head for bed. Sound good to you all?
Matsumoto: That depends who you're torturing next, now doesn't it?
CQueen: Torturing is such a harsh word, Ran chan.
Yoruichi: But apt.
CQueen: Then isn't it lucky for you that you will be the only one singing in the last song this evening.
Yoruichi: Crap.
CQueen: But not alone, so don't worry. And so, for your reading pleasure, I give you a production of "Oliver and Company's" hit song "Streets of Gold".
**head bang and Yoruichi, Orihime, Chad and Ishida appear in dog costumes and Ichigo is dressed as a cute orange kitten**
Yoruichi:
We Gotta clean you up, Ichigo and give
you some on the job training ohhh yea
Now listen up you've got a lot to learn,
and if you don't learn, you don't eat.
But if your tough and always use your head,
you'll be right at home on the street.
When you've got talent everything is free,
Watch how we do things,
ohhh I guarantee.
Your gonna see how the best survive,
We make an art out of staying alive.
If you do just as your told,
These are Streets of Gold.
Every Soul Society is a miracle mile,
You'll take the town,
and You'll take it with style,
If You play it brave and bold,
These are Streets of Gold.
Your gonna see how the best survive,
We make an art out of staying alive.
If you do just as your told,
These are Streets of Gold.
(Streets of Gold)
Every Soul Society is a miracle mile,
You'll take the town,
and You'll take it with style,
If You play it brave and bold,
These are Streets of Gold
Your gonna see how the best survive,
We make an art out of staying alive.
If you do just as your told,
These are Streets of Gold.
Every Soul Society is a miracle mile,
You'll take the town,
and You'll take it with style,
If You play it brave and bold,
These are Streets of Gold.
Orihime: Kurosaki san is such a cute kitty!
Ishida: Isn't he just?
Yoruichi: I'd have preferred to be a cat too but overall I liked it well enough. At least you're giving me fun stuff now.
CQueen: You're welcome. Now any final comments before I head out?
ALL: JUST GO, ALREADY!
CQueen: Gee, everyone's a critic.
**curtains close on the fourteenth act**